by Mei Yüan
That night the house was peaceful, but the following night the young boy was once again tormented by the ghost.
When he spoke, again in Mandarin, he said, "You are merely a low-level official. How dare you humiliate our Brother Number Four. We are all going to take our revenge unless you give us some wine."
Mr. Wu's wife was keen to avoid any further chaos, so she brought out the wine for the ghost and his companions, saying, "Please accept this wine. I don't want any more trouble! So please, just drink it and leave."
The problem was not to be resolved that simply, however. As soon as one ghost had drunk his fill, another would demand more wine. Demands came for meat, sausages, and snacks from the Yang family shop across the road to accompany the wine. The ghosts began to make all sorts of high-pitched screeches.
The noise was unbearable, so Mr. Wu rushed forward and slapped his son about the face shouting, "You vermin! You've changed your speech to Mandarin just to imitate the officials. You'll really regret it if you're trying to pull rank on me by speaking Mandarin!"
He began to beat his son, but still the boy spoke in Mandarin.
In desperation Mr. Wu filed another complaint to the city god: "That Mandarin-speaking ghost has come back and possessed my son. I beg of you, please punish him and banish him from my home."
That evening the boy's parents heard the sound of whipping and beating from his room.
The ghosts could be heard crying out above the thuds, "Please! No more! Don't beat us any more! We'll leave, we promise!"
From then on, Wu's son had no more trouble with ghosts.
The City God Gets Drunk
A scholar by the name of Shen Fengyu from Hangzhou made his living as a secretary in the judiciary of Wukang County.
One day a memorandum demanding the capture of a pirate by the name of Shen Yufeng passed down through his office. One of the other secretaries in the office saw the opportunity for a joke and quickly reversed the characters for Feng and Yu with red pen. The message now demanded the capture of Shen Fengyu.
The mischievous secretary showed Shen Fengyu the document, saying, "They're coming to get you! They'll be here to arrest you any minute!"
Shen didn't see anything funny in this at all. He snatched the memorandum and burned it.
That night he dreamed he was arrested by the ghost police. They rushed into his room, tied him up, and locked him in the city god's temple.
The city god sat in his seat of honor and shouted down at Shen, "So you are that murderous pirate! The blood of many people is on your hands! You really are the lowest form of life!" He then instructed his officers to torture the prisoner.
Shen hastily protested that he was a scholar from Hangzhou and not a pirate, but this only made the city god more angry.
He barked back at Shen, "The Regulations of the Underworld demand that we support our fellow bureaucrats in the Human World. Whenever we receive a memorandum from above, we act on it.
"Today we received a document from Wukang County that clearly identified you as a pirate and called for your immediate arrest. How dare you deny your crimes!"
Shen continued his attempts at defense by explaining how his friend, Yuan, had played a stupid trick by reversing the names, but the city god refused to listen. The order was then given that Shen be beaten with thick cudgels as punishment.
As Shen screamed in pain from the beatings one of the officers leaned over and whispered to him, "The city god got drunk with his wife today, so if you want a fair hearing, you had better see another magistrate."
Shen glanced up at the city god. Sure enough, his face was bright red and his eyelids drooped from the effects of his drinking binge. There was no use pleading for mercy from this drunken city god, so Shen had no choice but to endure the beating.
Once this was over, the city god ordered that Shen be escorted to a nearby jail. On the way there, they passed by the temple of the god of war, Guandi.
Shen saw his chance and shouted as loudly as he could: "I have been unjustly punished!"
The god of war took up this complaint and called Shen over to explain his case.
After Shen had recounted the sequence of events, Guandi drew a piece of yellow paper from his desk and wrote out a lengthy ruling on the matter in red pen.
"It is clear from your manner of speech that you are indeed a scholar. The city god had no right to conduct a hearing and administer punishments while inebriated. I will see that he is punished for this crime.
"Moreover, your fellow secretary Mr. Yuan should not play around with other people's lives in such a flippant manner, so I will take away his own life as punishment.
"Finally, your immediate superior has been neglectful of his duties, allowing such folly to take place in his offices. But since he was away on business yesterday, I will only fine him three months' salary.
"As for you, Mr. Shen, your beating has irreparably damaged your intestines, and you'll certainly die as a result. However, I will arrange for your reincarnation. You will be reborn as the son of a Shanxi family.
"When you are only twenty years old you will pass the third level of the imperial examinations and become an official. This should recompense you for some of the grievances you have suffered in your current life."
This speech sent the ghost police scampering back to the Underworld.
When Shen woke from his dream, he felt a great pain in his stomach and called out to his colleagues for help. He told them of the dream, and sure enough, within three days he was dead.
When Yuan heard of Shen's death he was gripped with fear. He immediately resigned from his position as secretary and headed back to his hometown. Not long after this, however, he died vomiting blood.
Around the same time, the city god's statue fell from its base for no apparent reason, and Shen's superior, the magistrate, was fined three months' salary for misappropriation of government revenue.
Two Great Ways to Deal with Ghosts
Luo Zhenren always tells people not to be afraid of ghosts. He advises that if you meet one, you should use a technique called "conquering the invisible with the invisible." This involves blowing at the ghost.
He maintains that ghosts are most terrified of human breath. This method is far better than slashing wildly with a knife or a stick, even though one may think a knife would be more effective.
Zhang Qishi is of the opinion that when you meet a ghost you should not be afraid. He argues that it is more important to fight it straightaway.
If you win the fight, then you're to be congratulated. If you lose, then the worst that can happen is that you'll become a ghost yourself.
The Immortal Prostitute
Near Suzhou there is a mountain called Mount Xiqi, and behind this is a peak called Yun'ai. It is said that many immortals live on this peak, and rumor has it that those who climb the peak and survive automatically become immortals.
A certain scholar by the name of Wang had become depressed at his repeated failure at the national examinations, so he decided to climb Mount Yun'ai to try his luck as an immortal. He packed up some food and personal effects and said farewell to his family, then began his ascent.
When he reached the top he found a substantial plateau dotted with a few trees among the wispy clouds. His eyes caught sight of movement on a distant ridge, and when he peered across he could make out a woman walking among the trees. Thinking this a strange place to find a woman, he rushed over to take a closer look.
The woman was curious about this new arrival and approached him. As she drew nearer, Wang recognized her as the famous Suzhou prostitute Xie Chongniang, with whom he had fallen in love six or seven years earlier.
Seeing her old friend again, she was extremely pleased and immediately took his hand and led him back to a small thatched hut. It had no door and the floor was layered an inch deep in pine needles, making it quite soft and warm.
Chongniang then related the events that had passed since they last met.
"After we par
ted, I was put under arrest by Prefect Wang. He stripped me naked and beat me ruthlessly, until the flesh on my buttocks was torn to shreds. Besides the pain, I felt most keenly the humiliation of the punishment. I was a high-ranking prostitute who commanded quite a bit of respect within the industry. How could I face anyone after such a humiliation?
"So I devised a plan to leave. I told the brothel owner that I was going to a temple to make some offerings, but instead I intended to commit suicide by jumping off a nearby cliff. I did jump, but instead of falling to my death I became entangled in the vines and creepers that grew along the cliff face.
"I had been hanging there for a while when an old woman with long white hair came to my rescue. She freed me from the vines, nourished me with pine nuts, and taught me how to concentrate my energies.
"Eventually, I felt neither hunger nor cold, and although I was a little scared at first, after a year of braving the elements I lost all my fear.
"The old woman lives just over on the next mountain, and she came by here yesterday to tell me that I would meet an old lover today. That's why I was wandering around on the plateau. I never dreamed it would be you!"
She paused and then asked, "Is Prefect Wang dead?"
He replied, "I have no idea, but now that you're an immortal you wouldn't be harboring thoughts of revenge, would you?"
The woman replied, "If it wasn't for Prefect Wang, I wouldn't be where I am today. I suppose I should be thankful and not vengeful.
"The old woman told me once that on one of her trips to heaven she had seen Prefect Wang being whipped by a god. The prefect was recounting his sins as he faced each crack of the whip. I figured he must be dead if he was seen in heaven."
The scholar declared, "Wang has no business beating prostitutes!"
The woman replied, "Those who aren't moved by beautiful women and sex, despite their love for them, are true sages. Those who are moved by beautiful women and sex are human, and those who know nothing of beauty and sex and are unmoved by them are beasts. Heaven hates this type most of all.
"When Prefect Wang beat me he was showing off to his direct superior, Governor Xu Shilin. Xu was known as a conservative neo-Confucian, and Wang wanted to make an example of me to ingratiate himself with Xu. Heaven hates that type of behavior most of all. Besides, Wang has committed many other crimes against heaven."
The scholar then asked, "Immortals are supposed to be pure, yet you spent your life as a prostitute. How did you manage to become an immortal with that sort of past?"
She replied, "Although sex is not an act of propriety, love between men and women is the essence of the universe. If a butcher lays down his knife, then he can become a Buddha in that instant. Prostitution is no more sinful than a whole range of other human practices."
He then told her his own plans to become an immortal and asked if he could stay in her hut while he learned.
"You are most welcome to stay with me, but I fear that the path to immortality is not an easy one for you," she said.
They arranged some bedding on the pine-needle floor, removed their clothing, and lay together as they had before. There was a major difference, however. She never said anything romantic or intimate, and although he was free to touch her smooth, white buttocks, if he became aroused she would become very solemn and tigers and other wild mountain beasts would howl outside the hut. Some would even poke their heads in and scratch at the walls. It was as if they were overseeing the reunion.
This went on for some time, until all the scholar could do was lie quietly with his arms around the prostitute.
Once, in the middle of the night, he heard people milling around and carriages bustling past, just outside the hut. He was quite puzzled at such a commotion on an isolated mountain peak.
"That is just the mountain gods coming and going. They like to visit each other at night, and as long as I don't interfere they don't bother me," the woman explained.
At dawn, she broke the news that he would have to leave.
"Your friends and relatives are waiting for you at the base of the mountain. Hurry now, go back to them," she said.
He refused to go, so she said, "The resolution of our fate will have to wait until the next time we meet." She led him to the edge of a cliff and pushed him off.
When he looked up from the foot of the precipice he saw the woman gazing longingly down at him. She stood there for a long while, then disappeared.
The scholar staggered down the road to his village and it wasn't long before he met his family, led by his elder brother, coming toward him. They were sobbing as they walked up the mountain.
It turned out that he had been dead for twenty-seven days. His family members were on their way to make offerings to the gods to protect him in the underworld.
After he had sufficiently recovered, the scholar went to the prefect's office to inquire about Prefect Wang. Sure enough, the prefect had died of a stroke some time ago.
Zhang Youhua
A student from Anqing by the name of Chen Shuning lived in a dormitory in Huaining. On the Double Ninth Festival, when all the locals celebrate by climbing the nearby mountain, Chen went out for a stroll on his own. His wanderings took him out the south gate of the town and past a graveyard.
He noticed a pillar of black smoke coming from somewhere in the cemetery. His curiosity aroused, he wandered in among the tombs. Suddenly he felt a chill wind blow up. With his hair standing on end from both fear and cold, he hurried on his way.
At sleep that night, back in the supposed safety of his dormitory, he dreamed he was walking in a monastery. Everything was quite clean and serene. A mural painted on the eastern wall depicted a river flanked by pines.
The poem above the painting was titled "The Peony" and the first line read: "When the east wind blows, a streak of red will appear." Alongside the poem was the signature Zhang Youhua.
Chen was pondering the meaning of such a beautiful and cryptic line when a man pushed open a nearby door and entered the dormitory room. The man, who seemed to be about forty, was short with a red nose and piercing eyes.
He then addressed young Chen, saying, "I am Zhang Youhua and the poem you are reading was written by me. Do you sneer at my talent?"
Chen hastily replied, "Oh no, not at all! I would never presume to sneer."
Chen tried to explain himself but his words became thoroughly tangled.
The red-nosed man pointed straight at him and demanded: "Tell me, am I a man or a ghost?"
"I felt a chill wind when you came in, so I would say you are a ghost," Chen replied.
"Do you think I am a good ghost or a bad ghost?"
"Since you can write poetry I think you must be a good ghost," Chen said.
The red-nosed ghost rushed forward and grabbed at Chen, shouting: "Well, you're wrong! I am a very evil ghost!"
As he came closer, the air around Chen became colder and colder. The chill went right through Chen's insides and it felt just as if his heart had been frozen in ice. Chen ran to cover behind a bamboo bedframe, but the ghost merely reached through and grabbed him by the testicles. The pain was excruciating and Chen woke from his nightmare with a start.
When he looked at his testes, he saw to his horror that they were swollen to an enormous size. From then on he suffered from consecutive bouts of raging fever and severe chills. The doctor who was called in could do nothing to ease the pain, and it wasn't long before Chen died, right there in the student dormitory.
The prefect of Huaining arranged for his funeral and pondered the needless death of his young friend. One day the prefect happened to run into a retired official. He asked the man, "Do you know if there was anyone by the name of Zhang Youhua who used to live around here?"
He was told, "Yes, I do. A clerk who worked here in Anqing went by that name. He died about two years ago, but when he was alive he was a real troublemaker.
"He had a passion for writing poetry but his verse was always rather odd. He was rather short and had a bright red
nose, if I remember correctly. They buried him out by the south gate."
It was clear to all that this was the very place where Chen had encountered the chill wind while taking his walk.
A Ghost Borrows an Official Title for a Daughter's Marriage
In Xinjian there was a scholar by the name of Zhang Yacheng who from the time he was a child loved to make his own toys and costumes. His attic was filled with helmets, beautiful dresses, and a variety of precious bits of shiny patterned paper. He would play with his treasures by himself in the attic, and as an adult he kept his toys. But their existence remained a secret from his family.
One day he opened the door to a woman of about thirty who asked Zhang if he would make her several items of clothing and numerous pieces of jewelry. She offered to pay, so Zhang agreed. He then inquired as to her plans for the garments and jewelry.
"I'll be using these as my wedding clothes," she replied.
Zhang was sure she was pulling his leg, but he didn't think it worth persisting with the question so he let it rest.
The next day the woman returned and told him, "You have a neighbor of official rank by the name of Tang. My husband's surname is also Tang and I would like him to have the same rank as your neighbor.
"Could you write down his name and title for me? Put the surname at the top in the position of honor, if you wouldn't mind."
Zhang was sure she was joking, but it seemed a harmless enough request, so he took a piece of paper and wrote down the name and title for her.
The next evening, just after Zhang had prepared the package of clothing and jewelry, the woman arrived with cakes and money to thank him for his trouble. But the next morning, when Zhang looked more closely at the gifts, he saw that the cakes were made of mud and the cash was ghost money. It was then that he realized the woman was a ghost.