Censored by Confucius

by Mei Yüan

  The couple lived secretly for over a year, during which time young Zhang became more and more emaciated. Zhang's father, noting the dramatic change in his son, interrogated the houseboy, but was told there was nothing amiss in their chambers. The elder Zhang felt that there was something suspicious about the houseboy's manner—he seemed somewhat embarrassed and depressed—so he decided to go and check out his son's activities for himself.

  That night he crept into Zhang's chambers and heard a woman's voice coming from the bedroom. He immediately kicked in the partition and stormed into the room, but when he raised the bed curtains there was nobody to be seen except young Zhang himself.

  After a brief search he found a gold hairpin under the pillow and the petals of a wild tea-flower. He knew then and there that his son must be consorting with a demon, because there were no tea-flowers in this region. Angered and disappointed he whipped his son mercilessly.

  Zhang was in no position, after this, to explain to his father, and at any rate his father had arranged for a famous Daoist priest to come and exorcise the spirit. The priest built a small altar and began his ritual chanting.

  That night Zhang was visited by Miss Wang again, but this time she was in tears.

  "Our secret is out so I must say goodbye," she said.

  Zhang was grief-stricken at this news and just before she left he asked, "Will we ever meet again?"

  "I'll meet you in Huazhou, twenty years from now," she replied. Then she disappeared.

  After this, Zhang's life continued upon a more regular path—he married a Miss Chen, passed the provincial level examinations, and was appointed a prefect in Wujiang. Eventually he was promoted to the position of magistrate in Huazhou, and it was not long after this transfer that his wife died.

  His father arranged a second marriage for his widower son, but this time to a girl from the Wang family. The bride traveled to Huazhou for the wedding, and when Zhang finally saw his new wife face to face on their wedding night he realized that her features were identical to those of Miss Wang, who had visited him in his study those nights so long ago.

  Puzzled at the coincidence, he asked his wife her age and was told that she was just twenty.

  It then dawned on him, "That fox fairy must have been deeply in love with me. She's been reincarnated as my new wife."

  When he asked the bride about their previous encounters she was completely confused—she had no recollection of them at all.

  The Blue-Capped Demon

  In Yangzhou, a merchant by the name of Wang Chunshan had a troupe of professional actors in his permanent employ. One member of this troupe was a Suzhou man, Zhu Erguan, who was not only a talented actor but also extremely handsome. Wang decided to reward this outstanding talent and arranged for Zhu to live in a private garden outside the Xuning Gate.

  One day the house neighboring the garden caught on fire, and before long the blaze had spread to Zhu's garden. Zhu fled for his life to the lane outside. On the western side of this lane, Zhu saw two lovely women leaning against a doorway waving to him. He approached them and asked if he could take shelter in their house.

  The two beauties explained to Zhu that they were distant cousins of the Wang clan, and were thus related to Wang Chunshan.

  The three were just getting acquainted when suddenly a man about fifty years old walked in and declared that he was the father of the two women. He was dressed in a leopard-fur coat and wore a blue cap. Confronted with his daughters in such a compromising position, he insisted that Zhu set things right and marry the girls.

  While it was true that Zhu did rather fancy the two beauties, he was in no position to marry them. He came from a poor family that had no possibility of finding the necessary betrothal gifts.

  He told the man in the blue cap of his plight and received the brusque reply: "Don't worry about it. I'll cover the costs."

  Zhu then requested permission to return to his parents in Suzhou to tell them his plans.

  The man in the blue cap replied: "By all means tell your parents, but don't let them worry about money or status. My daughters place great value in your looks.

  "I have one request, though. Don't mention your marriage to my nephew, Wang Chunshan."

  Zhu promptly took the next boat home to break the good news to his father.

  His father, a poor carpenter, pleaded with him to forget the match. There was no way a poor carpenter could pay for such a wedding.

  Zhu returned to tell the blue-capped man about his father's fears, and in reply was given two thousand coins by his future father-in-law to defray the wedding costs. The coins were stamped as Kangxi currency and were strung together with red ribbon.

  Clutching his treasure, Zhu began the journey home. Unfortunately, he was spotted with the money by a couple of the local magistrate's men. These gentlemen of the law arrested him immediately. "Money fitting this description has just been reported stolen from the cashbox of one of the local gentry families. You are in possession of stolen property and we arrest you on suspicion of theft," they said.

  Zhu was taken back to the magistry for questioning and promptly told the magistrate about the blue-capped man and his own forthcoming marriage.

  Locals who had gathered to hear the case found the story unbelievable, so the magistrate stated, "If you can show us this mysterious blue-capped person, you can go free."

  Zhu was greatly relieved and explained, "My fiancees' father gave me the money with instructions to prepare the wedding for today, so the bridal sedan should be along soon. Wait and see."

  Surely enough, it wasn't long before the sound of drums could be heard, and gradually the waiting townsfolk could hear a wedding procession approaching. Four people wearing red short-sleeved shirts bore the bridal sedan.

  The townsfolk rushed over and lifted the curtain of the chair, and there in place of the beautiful brides sat a green-faced monster with long teeth. Of course everyone was terrified by this sight and they all fled the scene —including the officers responsible for Zhu's arrest.

  Zhu was thus able to escape conviction. He returned home only to find in his sitting room the man in the blue cap.

  The latter promptly set about abusing Zhu. "You were sworn to secrecy over this wedding and yet look what you've done.

  "Not only did you tell absolutely everyone about me but worse still you've got the law onto me. What sort of gratitude is that?"

  He then shouted to his attending manservants and instructed them to beat Zhu as punishment for his breach of trust.

  On hearing of this crisis, the daughters begged their father to show mercy and forgive Zhu.

  Faced with his daughters' entreaties, the blue-capped man relented and the marriage ceremony continued.

  After they'd been married a month, the new brides and the bridegroom returned to Yangzhou to see the girls' father.

  After more than a year of marital bliss the two women prepared a surprise banquet for Zhu during which they broke the news of their impending departure.

  "Our time as earthly beings is drawing to a close. Fate dictates that we can no longer be with you. You must return to your hometown."

  Zhu was distraught and sobbed that he would never leave them. And so it went for a couple of days—the wives crying and pleading with him to leave, and Zhu in his misery refusing.

  Then came the sudden arrival of the blue-capped man. He insisted Zhu leave, but the troubled young actor clung to his brides and refused to let go.

  At this show of resistance, the blue-capped man grew angry. He pushed Zhu across the room and then threw him up into the air. Zhu hit the ground heavily and immediately lost consciousness.

  When he woke and looked around he found to his surprise that he had been thrown up to the foothills of Mount Huqiu—near his old hometown.

  Cousin Raccoon

  One of the lanes in Liuhe County, Laomei Lane, is renowned for raccoon sightings. Some nights these strange raccoons wander round the houses calling through the windows: "Cousin, oh C
ousin!" in an attempt to bewitch the unwary. If they hear no replies they usually just wander off again.

  One night, however, a young man of the Xia family was studying alone in a temple when he heard someone calling his name. He carelessly opened the window and looked out into the moonlight to see who was looking for him.

  There in the street stood an extremely coarse and ugly woman. Xia was just about to tell her to leave him in peace when she rushed through the window, forced him into a bedroom, and ripped off his pants. She then sucked on his penis until all his semen had been extracted.

  It is said these raccoons are immensely powerful creatures and people don't stand a chance against them. They are also said to be extremely smelly, and wherever their paws have been the odor lingers for over a month.

  An Imprisoned Ghost

  In Shangyu County there was a magistrate by the name of Xing who had terrible marital problems. One day, while he and his wife were in the midst of a quarrel, Xing slapped her. In a fury, the wife hanged herself. Three days after her death she became a ghost and began haunting her old home.

  Whenever Xing got into bed with his concubine, a chill wind blew up, rustling the bed curtains and sometimes even blowing out the candle. Xing was furious at this harassment, so he called in a Daoist monk to exorcise the ghost.

  The monk performed the necessary rituals and once he had succeeded in capturing the ghost he sealed it in a chamber on the eastern side of the house.

  Placing some magic charms as well as an official seal on the door, the Daoist assured Xing that the ghost would not escape. Indeed, Xing experienced no further trouble from his wife's ghost.

  After a while, Xing was transferred to Qiantang County. His replacement at the Shangyu magistry was, naturally, unfamiliar with the previous occupants' problems, and he opened up the eastern chamber, unwittingly releasing the ghost. The newly freed ghost then possessed a young maid and the turmoil and chaos in the Shangyu magistry began all over again.

  The new magistrate confronted the ghost directly, saying, "Your fight is with Mr. Xing and has nothing to do with my maid. Why do you want to harm her?"

  "Actually, I don't want to harm her. I merely planned to use her body as a medium through which I could seek your help," the ghost replied.

  The magistrate then asked how he could be of assistance.

  "I want you to send me to Xing's new place at Qiantang," the ghost explained.

  The magistrate was a bit puzzled. "What's stopping you from going there yourself?"

  "Because I am the ghost of a person who died wrongfully, I will fail the Underworld's immigration inspections unless I have an official pass with the official seal," she said.

  She would need two officers from the magistry to accompany her as well as this pass. When the magistrate asked which two officers she wanted, she named two deceased men who had previously worked at the magistry, Chen Gui and Teng Sheng.

  The magistrate complied with all of her requests. He wrote out an official statement granting her permission to travel and then burned it so that it would reach the appropriate ghost bureaucrats.

  One day in distant Qiantang, the unsuspecting Xing was having a quiet dinner in his rooms when his concubine suddenly fell to the floor, ranting, "You are totally shameless! After forcing me to my death you then inflict upon me starvation and loneliness by imprisoning me in the eastern chamber.

  "Now, I have returned to take my revenge on you, and you can be sure that I won't rest until I do!"

  From then on, day and night, the Qiantang magistry was in complete chaos. Xing finally reached the end of his tether and called in another Daoist to exorcise the ghost a second time. The rituals were again successful and the ghost was captured and locked with various charms and seals in the Qiantang prison.

  As the ghost was being carried into the prison, she screamed, "You really are completely heartless, aren't you? At least I was locked up in a room last time. Now I am being put in jail. What crime have I committed to deserve such treatment? I'll get my revenge, just see if I don't!"

  A month later a very important criminal hanged himself in King's jail. Xing was stripped of his title and officially dismissed from the civil service for this failure of duty. This turn of events left Xing terrified. He vowed to shave his head and become a Buddhist monk, and some of his friends donated money so that he could perform the necessary rituals to join the order and officially become a monk.

  Unfortunately, before all this could be arranged, Xing became extremely sick, and soon he was dead.

  A Fox Fairy and a Ghost Invade the Stomach

  An imperial guard, Li Hongfeng, had a son by the name of Li Yi, who also had the official name Yi Shan, because he had once been a scholar in the Hanlin Academy.

  Li Yi was a well-rounded scholar. He was able to expound knowledgeably on neo-Confucian philosophy, and he wrote excellent poetry and prose.

  One evening while he was reading under the lamplight, two beautiful women appeared before him. They teased him mercilessly and soon grew quite brazen, and eventually Li found himself subjected to all sorts of lewd advances. With firm resolve Li remained impassive throughout the ordeal.

  Later that evening, after Li had finished dinner, he heard a voice coming from his stomach. "I attached myself to some of the eggplants you ate for dinner. Now that I'm actually housed in your stomach, you won't be able to ignore me, will you?"

  The voice was clearly that of one of the women who had attempted to seduce him under the lamplight earlier that evening.

  From this day on, Li walked around with glazed eyes as if in some sort of trance. His behavior became more and more irregular. Sometimes, for no apparent reason, he would suddenly slap himself in the face. He was once seen out in a rainstorm kneeling on the ground with only a small pebble on his head for protection, making absolutely no effort to seek shelter from the torrent. Other times he would suddenly bow down before someone, placing his head on the floor in a mock form of worship, maintaining the position even while he was dragged away.

  As the days passed his face grew sallow and pasty and his body grew thinner. It seemed that he would soon waste away. When the spirit wanted to communicate with others, Li acted as the medium and would variously write or speak the spirit's message.

  One day a school friend of Li's, a man by the name of Jiang Shiquan, came and challenged the spirit directly, saying, "What on earth is a ravishingly beautiful thing like you doing with old Li? Why don't you come and try your luck with me?"

  Li wrote the spirit's brief reply in two characters, which had the general meaning that they were not fated to be together.

  Jiang tried again, asking, "Why would someone of your outstanding beauty want to live in such a disgusting place as Li's stomach?"

  Li wrote the spirit's reply. "You really are too revolting. Go away!"

  At the time, Li's father was fortunate enough to be on friendly terms with the governor of Jiangxi, a Mr. Wu.

  Governor Wu, hearing of the Li family's predicament, invited the young scholar to his residence for a meeting with the Daoist grand master Zhang.

  Zhang built an altar at the Tenghua Pavilion and commenced the purification of scholar Li—for three days they ate sacred vegetarian meals and chanted incantations. Grand Master Zhang's magicians then lifted a placard on which was written "We will exorcise the demon on the fifteenth of March."

  When the day arrived, spectators had gathered from far and wide to view the exorcism. The grand master took a position at the center with the magicians seated along the sides. Li was asked to kneel before the grand master and open his mouth. Zhang then put two fingers down Li's throat and extracted from his mouth a fox the size of a small cat.

  The fox then spoke: "Elder Sister, I came to help you, but unfortunately I've been captured. Please be careful and whatever you do don't come out."

  From inside Li's stomach came a reply. "All right, I'll be careful."

  It was only then they realized that two demons were living i
n poor Li's stomach. Grand Master Zhang took the fox fairy, sealed it in ajar, and threw it into the nearby river.

  After the expurgation of the fox, Li's condition seemed to improve a little. However, it wasn't long before the voice from his stomach was heard again: "In a previous life you and I were enemies. When I had trouble finding you again, I begged help from my friend the fox fairy.

  "I certainly didn't mean her to come to any harm. How can I ever forgive myself for her demise? How can I ever be in peace? I'll never forgive you for causing her death."

  After this speech, Li experienced terrible pains in his stomach.

  With the situation worsening again, the grand master asked the magicians for their prognosis. One of the magicians took out a magic mirror and shone it into Li's stomach, then stated: "We're not dealing with a demon. This is the ghost of someone who was wronged by Scholar Li in a previous life. I am sorry, but we have no power to cure this type of affliction."

  This news was then passed to the governor by Grand Master Zhang. Since there was no other recourse, Li was sent back to his family to rest.

  Sadly, it was not long before he died.

  The Immortal Fox Fairy Hangs Itself

  On Pingshi Street, Jinling, the Zhang family have a residence. On the western side of the house is a three-roomed study. The rooms are kept completely empty and firmly locked, because they are rumored to be haunted by the ghost of a woman who hanged herself there.

  One day an elegant and apparently rather affluent young scholar came looking for accommodations. Mr. Zhang told him that they had no spare rooms.

  The young scholar was clearly unhappy with this response and said rather aggressively, "Since I have already decided to live here, it would be far better for you if the rooms were willingly offered. I can make your life miserable, you realize."