Censored by Confucius

by Mei Yüan

  "I got really angry at the thought of this worthless fellow holding such a position, so I decided to pick a fight with him. I've chased him off now, well and truly. Didn't you notice all those stones being blown up?"

  He then thanked Li for his help and bade him farewell.

  Li continued on to the ghost's village and gave his widow and children the five hundred gold pieces.

  In Which the Ghost Sues Her Loved One

  In Zhenjiang there was a young man by the name of Bao who was most handsome and, some thought, sexually attractive in the extreme. He married a young woman from the Wang family, but because he had succeeded to a long line of merchants, he was often away on business or out entertaining customers and friends.

  In the autumn of 1780 Bao and several of his friends went carousing in the red-light district. They progressed from brothel to brothel and it was extremely late by the time Bao set out for home.

  Mistress Wang was in her kitchen with an old serving woman preparing dinner when there was a knock at the door. She asked the servant to answer it, and when the door was opened the servant saw a well-dressed, heavily made-up young woman. The old woman asked her name but received no reply. Deciding this silent visitor must be a relative, she welcomed her in and went to tell her mistress.

  Mistress Wang hurried to the front room to greet the mysterious visitor but found only her husband, Bao, sitting there. She laughed at the old woman for her silly mistake, but stopped short when she noticed that Bao's mannerisms were those of a woman.

  The visitor stood up and said with grace and due decorum, "Your husband, Mr. Bao, was drinking at a brothel. I waited outside and came home with him."

  Wang examined the performance closely—the body was Bao's but the voice and mannerisms were not his at all.

  Her first thought was that Bao had gone insane, so she called for the houseboys and sent them to fetch the rest of the family. They all gathered in the front room and the visitor greeted each of them very politely and with the utmost propriety—but adopting the manners and form usually reserved for aristocratic women.

  Some of the men had a great laugh at this and made a few indecent proposals and rude gestures to the feminized Bao.

  The ghost within Bao responded angrily, "I am a virtuous woman. Come near me and I'll kill you!"

  Perplexed by this sudden change, the family asked what grievance she had against Bao.

  She replied in a calmer voice, "The hostility that has been generated between Mr. Bao and myself has romantic origins. I have lodged nineteen separate complaints against him with the city god for failing to reciprocate my love. I have had no satisfaction with that course so now I've lodged a complaint at Lord Dongyue's temple.

  "Lord Dongyue has finally given me the opportunity for an official hearing, so Bao and I will go and resolve the case during the next few days."

  They asked for her name but the ghost replied, "I am from a good family and I will not release my name."

  Someone else then asked, "What charges are you laying?"

  The ghost then listed nineteen separate offenses, but did so very quickly, and so nobody was really sure of the details.

  Basically, she wanted Bao prosecuted for not returning her love and thereby causing her to be a homeless, drifting ghost.

  The next question was, "Now that you're in Bao's body, where is his soul?"

  She smiled. "I've tied him up and locked him in the little room next to the city god's temple."

  This was all too much for Bao's wife. She dropped to her knees and entreated the ghost to release her husband, but her pleas were ignored.

  Later that night a few of the relatives discussed the matter. One of them said, "The ghost told us that she'd had no luck filing her complaint with the city god, and yet she's locked Bao up near his temple. How about if we go and explain the whole problem to the city god? He might be able to make sure that justice is carried out."

  Thus decided, they gathered together the necessary candles and incense, but just as they were about to step out the door the ghost appeared from nowhere and confronted them: "You're going to get help from the city god, aren't you? Don't bother, I'll release Bao now and we'll let Lord Dongyue give his verdict."

  In an instant, Bao collapsed in a heap on the floor. It wasn't long before he regained consciousness, complaining of unbearable exhaustion. Everyone bustled around, interrogating him about the strange incident.

  Bao related the course of events as follows: "When I left the brothel I saw this woman following me and I grew increasingly suspicious when after some time she was still there. Just as we came to the courtyard outside the Academy, she rushed forward and pushed me into a small room just to the left of the city god's temple. My arms and legs were bound and I was tossed in a heap on the floor.

  "It appeared that I was not alone, for even though I saw nobody, I felt that I was being guarded. Next thing I knew, the woman had returned to tell me she would let me go.

  "She pushed me out the door and I tripped and fell. Now I'm here! As far as I know, it's all going to be sorted out tomorrow by Lord Dongyue."

  This wasn't a sufficient explanation for his anxious relatives, but their questions went unheeded because Bao promptly fell into a deep sleep. When he woke late in the afternoon of the following day, his first instructions were to have a feast prepared for the legal officers that had arrived. He then went into the front hall and bowed and gestured as if he was welcoming guests.

  Although he said quite a few things, nothing was comprehensible to the astonished family that had gathered around him.

  After the feast was laid out Bao went back to bed. Around the first watch of the evening he passed away, but because his chest was still slightly warm, Mistress Wang and other close family members kept a constant vigil over the body.

  During the night his face changed color several times. It was sometimes blue, sometimes yellow, and sometimes red. There was no obvious pattern to the color changes. Around the third watch, they noticed red scratches on his chest, cheeks, and throat.

  The next night, around the second watch, his hair became disheveled and lost its texture.

  Towards dawn of the third day he woke up and demanded rice and tea. He gobbled down more than ten bowls of rice and numerous pots of tea at such a pace that his watching relatives grew frightened. However, his general state improved after this tremendous meal and he then gave detailed instructions to those around him. More wine and food was to be prepared by Mistress Wang herself for the officers from the underworld who accompanied him.

  Six thousand cash in ghost money was to be burned, but they had to make sure that none of the notes were crumpled or torn. Four thousand of these were to be burned in front of the lounge and the remaining two thousand in the lane that ran along the side entrance to the house.

  Bao himself then rose and went to the gate, bowing repeatedly and gesturing like one who was seeing off guests. He then returned to his bed and slept for two days.

  After this rest he was able to tell his family what had happened. In the afternoon of the day after the ghost had released him, two officers of the law from the underworld had come to fetch him. He recognized one of them as a former classmate, Merchant Chen's young son who had died three years earlier, but the other officer was a stranger.

  The Chen family were quite poor, so when it came time for this young fellow to marry, Bao had helped out by giving him a few thousand cash.

  Chen said to Bao, "Your case is currently before the court, so it has certainly been investigated. Don't worry, though. We've been friends a long time now, and I have not forgotten your past kindness. I'll not put the cangue and chains on you."

  On their way to the courtroom they passed two other officers who were guarding the chained ghost. Writhing in anger, she butted Bao and then scratched his face—hence the marks on Bao's body. She cursed the officers and demanded to know why Bao wasn't chained, so Bao was duly restrained.

  They walked for what seemed an eterni
ty into darker and darker regions where a fierce, cold wind tossed Bao's hair wildly. Finally they arrived at a place that looked rather like a courtroom and here both prisoners were told to sit on the ground and wait.

  The light of two red lanterns could be seen moving towards them from within the building, and at this signal the officers came forward and removed Bao's chains. He was ordered to kneel at a spot just before the lanterns.

  Then Bao saw the magistrate's bench, piled with documents. Behind it sat an official wearing a gown of red and black gauze.

  As the magistrate smoothed his beard he asked, "Are you Bao?"

  Bao replied in the affirmative and then the ghost was summoned.

  She also knelt on the steps in front of the bench and answered a variety of questions, but although Bao was only about a foot away, he couldn't hear a word. He could see, however, that at one point the magistrate became extremely angry and ordered one of the officers to slap the ghost about the face fifteen times or so.

  She then had her chains put back on and was dragged back crying and weeping by the two officers.

  At this point, Bao was still on his knees in front of the bench. It was as if he were kneeling in mud. The cold was unbearable, and whenever the chilly wind picked up and blew across his face, he felt as if he were being stabbed by knives.

  As the ghost was being slapped, Officer Chen leaned down and whispered to him, "You have won the case. I'll tidy up your hair for you."

  When Bao lifted his head again, the lanterns, the bench, and the magistrate had all disappeared. The two remaining officers told him he could return home, but reminded him that he owed four thousand cash to the officers for their efforts and that it was appropriate to make a personal gift to Chen of two thousand cash.

  Everyone was puzzled about the identity of the woman, whom Bao insisted he had never seen before. She was a complete stranger who had died from unrequited love for the famously handsome Bao. When she became a ghost she decided to fabricate charges with the intention of dragging Bao down to the underworld to be her partner in death.

  Fortunately, her harebrained scheme was discovered by the magistrate of the underworld and she received her due punishment.

  Elder Brother Ding

  During the reign of the Kangxi emperor, a peasant farmer from the Yangzhou region by the name of Second Brother Yu went into town to pick up the cash he'd earned from the sale of his recent wheat crop. The purchaser insisted he stay on for a few pots of wine, and by the time Yu set off for home it was late and the road was pitch black.

  As he approached Red Bridge he was jumped by more than a dozen dwarflike ghosts, who clung tightly to his clothing. Yu knew ghosts were rampant in the area but he was a tough and fearless sort of man and besides he was emboldened by the wine. So he fought hard against these ghosts, vigorously brandishing his fists. But no sooner had he fought off one bunch than another formed to attack him.

  In the midst of the fray Second Brother Yu overheard one of the ghosts say, "This guy's too tough for us. There's no way we can beat him. Let's get Elder Brother Ding. I bet he'd be able to put this guy away."

  The ghosts ran off noisily and Yu was left alone to ponder the horror of Elder Brother Ding. Eventually he decided, in a rather fatalistic frame of mind, that since he had come this far he would keep going and deal with whatever came for him when it arrived.

  Indeed, he had only just crossed Red Bridge when he was confronted by a ghost of enormous proportions. It was over ten feet tall, and in the shadowy light Yu could just make out the green and purple colors of his face. All in all it was a sinister, terrifying sight.

  Yu knew that his only possibility of success was to take the initiative straightaway. His best chance was to strike before the ghost expected it, so he untied his money belt, filled as it was with the two thousand coppers he'd received earlier in the day, and hurled it with all his might at his opponent.

  The ghost fell instantaneously to the ground, making a clinking sound as it hit the stone paving. Yu ran over and trampled the ghost beneath his boots, and although it never became any lighter, it gradually shrank.

  Holding its diminished form tightly, Yu returned home. Under the candlelight he saw that the ghost was actually a big iron nail—the type that had been used in old-style coffins. It was over two feet long and shaped like a huge thumb. To kill the ghost Yu burned the nail, and blood oozed from the flames.

  Later when Yu was telling his friends about his ordeal he boasted jokingly, "Elder Brother Ding was no match for the strength of Second Brother Yu."

  Miss Wang Er

  In the Department of Justice within the Zhaozhou provincial government there worked a scribe by the name of Wu. Now Wu was the third son in his family and was originally from Shaoxing.

  After a while another scribe was employed and coincidentally he was the third son born to another Wu family. However, he was originally from Suzhou.

  To avoid confusion, the people in the office called them Old Master Wu and Young Master Wu. The two Master Wus were quite good friends. Both men lived in the government dormitory and had rooms directly across the hall from each other.

  The governor at that time had seven or eight concubines and numerous maids, all of whom were exceptionally beautiful, and the Wus had often seen them strolling near the dormitory. So captivating were these women that the men would often joke about the possibility of secret trysts, which woman each would prefer, and the like. It was, however, all empty talk.

  One night they worked late, getting back to their rooms only around the third watch. Young Wu sat down on the edge of his bed and smoked a cigarette. He then lit the candles on the table outside the bed curtains and asked his manservant to leave so he could go to sleep.

  The entire magistry was quiet until someone pushed open the door to Wu's room and walked in. Young Master Wu asked who it was but received no reply.

  He peered through the darkness and saw an exceptionally beautiful young woman of about twenty walking quickly towards him. She stopped at the edge of the bed and stared down at him.

  Young Master Wu was terrified and asked, "Who are you? What are you doing here?"

  The woman replied, "I am Miss Wang Er and I have come to find Third Master Wu from Shaoxing. It looks as though I have come to the wrong place."

  Young Wu assumed that Miss Wang Er must be a maid sent by the boss to keep Old Wu company for the night, so he laughed and pointed across the hall. "Third Master Wu from Shaoxing lives in the room opposite. I'm Third Master Wu from Suzhou."

  The woman turned and left.

  The next morning Young Wu teased his friend. "Did you have fun last night?"

  Old Wu looked perplexed and asked what he meant. So Young Wu mentioned the young woman. But when Old Wu kept asking more questions he said impatiently, "I saw her with my own eyes! How can you deny it?"

  Old Wu then grew increasingly anxious and persisted with his questions. Young Wu described Miss Wang Er's clothes and appearance, then explained how she had specifically asked for Third Master Wu from Shaoxing.

  The color suddenly drained from Old Wu's face and he said in a panic, "Why has she come here?"

  After a while, when he had calmed down sufficiently, he explained to Young Wu, "She is a close relative of mine but she's been dead for over a decade. I have no idea why she has come looking for me now."

  Young Wu was startled by the explanation and was about to question his friend further when he noticed that Old Wu's depressed face was filled with despair. So he decided not to press him.

  That night as time for sleep drew nearer, Old Wu became increasingly silent and his fear became more and more obvious to those around him. He begged Young Wu to sleep in his room, but Young Wu did not relish this prospect and refused. Old Wu then ordered his two servants to sleep on either side of his bed.

  All that night Young Wu listened for any sound from across the hall, but heard nothing strange. The next morning, however, the two servants woke to find Old Wu dead.


  Double Blossom Temple

  In Guilin, during the reign of the Yongzheng emperor, there lived a fashionable young scholar by the name of Cai who was extremely good-looking.

  One day, as he was standing in the theater watching a troupe of actors perform, he felt someone brush up against him and stroke his buttocks. He turned intending to strike his assailant, but stopped in his tracks when he saw a young man even better-looking than himself. His heart melted and he began to gently stroke the other man's penis in return.

  Overjoyed at this mutual affection, the young man and Scholar Cai straightened their clothes in preparation for a more formal exchange of names. It turned out the young man was also from a wealthy Guilin family, and although he had not yet been formally admitted to a college, he too was an aspiring scholar.

  They walked hand in hand to a restaurant called Apricot Blossom Village, and after drinking heavily they swore undying loyalty to each other. From this point on the two young men were inseparable—they always traveled in the same carriage, ate together, and slept together.

  It wasn't long before they began imitating female fashions—wearing perfume, shaving their faces, and donning short-sleeved gowns. In fact, strangers would not have known whether they were male or female.

  Unfortunately the town bully, a fellow known by the name of Wang Tuer, decided to rape these two young men. He hid in an isolated spot on the outskirts of town and pounced when the pair walked by. They both tried to struggle free but in the course of the fight were killed. Wang then dumped their bodies in the shade of an isolated section of the city wall.

  The parents of the murdered young men lodged a complaint with the local magistrate and in the ensuing investigation Wang was charged with the murders. Traces of blood had been found on his clothing by the investigating police, so he confessed to the crime and was summarily executed.