Cows in Action 12
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“Or a moo-racle at least,” said Alfred, clapping Bryce on the back as the big man’s own horns fell away. Then he turned to Arlik and his Vikings. “Danes, there has been much fighting today – and for once, both our sides have won. Let us call a truce for now, and do battle again some other day.”
Arlik nodded slowly. “Very well. I confess I have a terrible headache after losing my horns – and a terrible tummy-ache from those buns!” Then he turned to Gruntbag. “You know, I always thought you and your band were puny and useless. But with my own eyes, I have seen you fight today like true warriors. I am proud to call you and your men my brothers.”
The skinny Vikings cheered, and Gruntbag glowed with pride. “Thanks, Arlik. Although I think the life of farmers back in the northern lands would suit us better.”
“Hang on a minute,” said Nessie slowly, looking at Alfred. “You’re . . . the king?”
“You catch on fast, madam,” said Alfred, amused. “And I seem to recall you kicked my royal butt . . .”
Nessie gulped and hurried away. “Umm, the life of a farmer in the northern lands sounds good to me too. Bye!”
“Well, I hope she makes a better job of farming in this century than she does in ours,” murmured Bo. She, Pat and McMoo had rushed off to hide in the same cave that had sheltered the Vikings, and were peeking out at the scene taking place on the beach. “I’m glad everyone’s friends now the F.B.I. have been sorted out. But how come the moo-goo wore off like that?”
“Well,” said McMoo, “once I’d learned what moo-goo was made of, it was an easy job to muck up Mookow’s rain even further to reverse the effect.” He shrugged modestly. “Any incredibly brilliant genius could have done it.”
“You really are brilliant, Professor,” said Pat with a smile, watching as Alfred’s men and the back-to-normal Vikings went their separate ways. Soon they were all out of sight. “Now all we have to do is get the C.I.A. to clean up Gaur and Mookow’s mess – and go back home!”
“But the Time Shed is miles away!” Bo stuck out her tongue. “It’ll take for ever to walk back there.”
“Well, in that case . . .” McMoo smiled as a large white cube appeared on the beach in a purple haze of light, startling a skunk. “Perhaps we can hitch a lift with these guys?”
“A C.I.A. time machine!” Pat realized.
The cube grew solid and a door in one side slid open. A tough-looking black bull wearing shades and a purple sash stepped out onto the beach, followed by cows in white suits wielding big nets. One of the lions growled at him. The bull growled back, and the lion cowered away.
“Yakky-babes!” Bo squealed, running out of hiding and grabbing Yak in a clumsy hug. “How are you doing, Mr C.I.A. director, sir? Miss me?”
“No,” Yak grumbled, trying to wriggle free of her embrace.
McMoo and Pat followed her onto the beach. “Hey, Yak,” said McMoo. “What are you doing here already?”
“We picked up a very sorry pair of F.B.I. agents in our own time,” Yak explained. “Mookow looked like a half-melted ter-moo-nator ice cream, and that mad scientist I’ve been chasing, Gaur, was bawling his eyes out because he couldn’t see a thing. We said we’d only help them if they told us everything – and they did.”
“So now you can take these poor animals back to their zoos in the twenty-sixth century,” said Pat happily. “And dismantle the F.B.I.’s undersea base.”
“What about that poor oxtopus?” asked Bo. “He’s still guarding it.”
“We’ll make sure all the animals are back to normal,” Yak assured her. “And as a way of saying thank you to my three best agents . . .”
“Yes?” said McMoo, Pat and Bo eagerly.
Yak grinned. “I’ll even give you a lift back to the Time Shed!”
Director Yak was as good as his word, and it wasn’t long before the Cows In Action were beside their ramshackle time machine once again.
“Oh, one more thing.” Yak ducked back inside his cuboid craft and came out with a gift-wrapped bundle. “Prime Moo-ver Holstein asked me to give you this. He says it’s to make up for something you lost.”
“Cheers, Yak. Say thank you for me, won’t you!” McMoo opened the shed’s doors and ushered Pat and Bo inside. “See you next time.”
Yak nodded. “In the next time!”
McMoo closed the doors, tossed the present to Bo and started flicking switches and twisting controls on the main console. “Right then! I’ll set the controls to take us back to the farm just a few moments after we left.” He pulled the take-off lever and the shed groaned and rattled as it began its journey back through the centuries. “Stick the kettle on, Pat, I’m spitting feathers . . .”
“And it looks like I’ll be wearing them!” Bo had torn off the paper from the director’s gift and proudly held up a new set of mechanical wings. “Holsty must have known I’d mashed up the old ones.”
McMoo studied the wings. “Not bad,” he admitted. “Not as good as mine, obviously, but worth trying out.”
“Yes!” Bo quickly strapped them on. “It’ll still be early on the farm. I can go for a test flight straight away.”
Pat passed the professor a steaming bucket of tea, then smiled at his sister. “And I’ve got a great idea for what you can do . . .” He whispered in Bo’s ear.
“Oh, yes!” Bo clapped her hooves together in excitement as the Time Shed clanked back into the twenty-first century. “Gangway, Professor!” She charged out through the doors, pressed the button on her chest and took straight to the air, making for the Barmers’ farmhouse.
Pat and McMoo drank their tea, then followed her outside. “What is she up to?” the professor wondered. “She’d better be careful. Look – Bessie Barmer’s come to enjoy her view again.”
“Not for long,” Pat chuckled.
Bo hovered just above Bessie’s bedroom windows – then released a flurry of cowpats all over the glass!
Bessie let out an enormous shriek. “What’s going on? My beautiful view! What bird could do that?” Furiously she threw open the window and looked outside – just in time to receive Bo’s final cow pie right on her head! “Aaarrghhh!”
Giggling naughtily, Bo swooped down from the sky and landed beside Pat and the professor. “How did I do?”
“Not bad,” Pat laughed. “Quick, let’s get out of here before she sees us!”
“That was a top-class flight, Bo,” said McMoo, leading the charge back to their field. “But, you know, wings or not, we’ll always be high-flying agents of the C.I.A. – anyplace, anywhere and any time you can imagine!”
About the Author
Born in 1971, Steve Cole spent a happy childhood in rural Bedfordshire being loud and aspiring to amuse. He liked books, and so went to the University of East Anglia to read more of them. Later on he started writing them too, with titles ranging from pre-school poetry to Young Adult thrillers (with more TV and film tie-ins than he cares to admit to along the way). In other careers he has been the editor of Noddy magazine, and an editor of fiction and nonfiction book titles for various publishers. He is the author of the hugely successful Astrosaurs, Cows in Action, Astrosaurs Academy and Slime Squad series.
Also by Steve Cole:
[ASTROSAURS]
Riddle of the Raptors
The Hatching Horror
The Seas of Doom
The Mind-Swap Menace
The Skies of Fear
The Space Ghosts
Day of the Dino-Droids
The Terror-Bird Trap
The Planet of Peril
The Star Pirates
The Claws of Christmas
The Sun-Snatchers
Revenge of the Fang
The Carnivore Curse
The Dreams of Dread
The Robot Raiders
The Twist of Time
The Sabre-Tooth Secret
The Forest of Evil
Earth Attack
The T-Rex Invasion
The Castle of Frankensaur
[ASTROSAURS ACADEMY]
Destination: Danger!
Contest Carnage!
Terror Underground!
Jungle Horror!
Deadly Drama!
Christmas Crisis!
Volcano Invaders!
Space Kidnap!
[COWS IN ACTION]
The Ter-Moo-nators
The Moo-my’s Curse
The Roman Moo-stery
The Wild West Moo-nster
World War Moo
The Battle for Christmoos
The Pirate Moo-tiny
The Moogic of Merlin
The Victorian Moo-ders
The Moo-lympic Games
First Cows on the Mooon
The Viking Emoo-gency
The Udderly Moo-vellous C.I.A. Joke Book
Astrosaurs Vs Cows in Action: The Dinosaur Moo-tants
[SLIME SQUAD]
Slime Squad Vs The Fearsome Fists
Slime Squad Vs The Toxic Teeth
Slime Squad Vs The Cyber Poos
Slime Squad Vs The Supernatural Squid
Slime Squad Vs The Killer Socks
Slime Squad Vs The Last Chance Chicken
Slime Squad Vs The Alligator Army
Slime Squad Vs The Conquering Conks
For older readers
Z. Rex
Z. Raptor
Z. Apocalypse
THE VIKING EMOO-GENCY
AN RHCP DIGITAL EBOOK 978 1 446 48053 3
Published in Great Britain by RHCP Digital,
an imprint of Random House Children’s Publishers UK
A Random House Group Company
This ebook edition published 2013
Text copyright © Steve Cole, 2012
Cover illustration © Andy Parker, 2012
Interior illustrations copyright © Woody Fox, 2012
First Published in Great Britain
Red Fox 9781849414012, 2012
The right of Steve Cole to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.
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