Always

by Jezebel Jorge

  If I had known, I would have empathed his grief. The protection of that pentacle kept me so shielded the only emotions I felt were those of my own. My hand went back to my neck and I tried rubbing the pearls as I attempted to center myself. This was the first time I’d had an episode since we’d cast our moon lit spell. Carmella said the pregnancy hormones had also helped in numbing my empathic and psychic sense, but I knew it was the power of that pentacle that kept me shielded.

  I had to pull myself together and go back in there to get my pendant. Not to even mention, try to convince Graham’s mom I really wasn’t some raving lunatic. I knew I’d made such a horrible impression on a woman I’d wanted so badly to impress.

  If I could just stop the pain knifing around inside my head…

  In desperation I yanked down my hair, roughly combing out my red tresses with my fingers. Aah… that felt a little better.

  Now for a little spell work...

  One of the first things Carmella’s family taught me when they took me in at age thirteen was that true magick comes from the inside out. A real witch can make due without any accessories or tools of our trade. Things such as pentacles and candles and stones only heighten and channel our power.

  Our dearly departed Tante Essie’s rich lyrical voice rang in my ear. “Odessa, child, no magickal wands or other knick knacks are required for those of us with true powers.”

  Keeping that in mind, I pulled off my uncomfortable so-called sensible pumps and followed a trail of grass behind the restaurant down to a little stream. I squatted at the water’s edge and used one of my long fingernails to trace a star in the dirt, drawing a circle around it to create my on makeshift pentacle.

  I opened my arms and called out, “If there are any snakes here I sure could use your company.” I doubted I’d find one of my favorite rattlesnakes, but one of the wonderful things about living in Florida is there are almost always some snakes in range of my outside voice. “Here snakey, snakey, snakey.”

  Just as I was about to give up a little ribbon snake can slithering out of the grass. Not my first choice, but I didn’t want to hurt the little snake’s feelings so I was polite and let it snuggle against my foot.

  “Hello, little snakey,” I said as I traced one of the three yellow lines down his narrow brown back. “Would you mind assisting me with a little spell work?”

  He seemed cool with the idea, so I picked him up and placed him on my lap. With the snake properly situated to balance my root chakra, I imaged us enveloped in an intense orange swirling light. No, make that yellow this time, to match his ribbons of that color.

  “Take this pain from my brain. Make me whole once again.”

  Not the greatest spell I’d ever conjured, but every time I repeated those words my headache got a little less intense. Once it eased down to a dull thud I could finally focus on the real matter at hand.

  “Blessed Goddess, hear my plea.” I stroked the snakes back to try to keep centered. “I want Graham’s mom to like me. Or at the very least not hate me. Oh, who am I kidding, I really just want her to accept Amalie. So, if you could help me with that, I really would be most grateful.”

  I waited a moment, soaking in the brilliant yellow circle of energy I’d created with the help of my little snakey friend, until I felt a calm lightness that assured my words had been heard.

  “So it is, and so it shall be.” I kissed the little snakey on the top of his head and set him free.

  By the time I made it back to the parking lot my panty hose were in tatters.

  “Oh, fuck this shit!”

  I leaned against the car and tore off the hose. I hardly ever wore panties, much less hose. That’s how badly I’d wanted to impress this woman. I’d tried to be all prim and proper and ladylike, when not one of those words had ever applied to me.

  Tossing the remains of my panty hose into the bushes, I realized that a witch I was and a witch I’d always be. Graham loved me just the way I was and if his mother loved him, she’d have to learn to at least tolerate his feelings for me. He and Amalie were the important ones where she was concerned. It didn’t matter what she thought of me as long as she accepted her granddaughter and tolerated her son’s love for me.

  Graham

  “Aren’t you going to go check on her?” his mom asked.

  Graham took his time, thoughtfully taking a bite of bread stick before saying, “No, when she gets like that it’s just best to let her be.”

  “This happens often?”

  “She was amazingly strong when we were in Houston and right up until she had the baby.” He shook his head. “Ever since then it’s been kinda rough on her, you know–”

  “With you going home to your wife most every night?” She gave him a look that only a mother can get away with. “I take it that you and Lucy haven’t separated?”

  “We’re fine, Ma.”

  She snorted disdainfully. “You have a gorgeous red haired mistress and a beautiful baby girl and you want me to believe your marriage isn’t falling apart. Honey, I wasn’t born yesterday. There’s no way you can keep having your cake and eating it too. One of these days you’re bound to get caught.”

  “Lucy knows all about Odessa and the baby.”

  “You’re kidding me?” Her eyes widened in disbelief. “If I’d have caught your daddy in a situation like that I would have kicked his ass to the curb faster than he could have started trying to apologize.”

  “I told her if she wanted to leave she could, but I can’t divorce her. That would kill my reputation and you know Lucy sure does love all the perks that come with being Mrs. Graham Edwards.”

  “So, she’s okay with you carrying on with another woman?”

  “I wouldn’t say she’s exactly okay with it, but she’s resigned herself to the fact that if she wants to stay married to me, that’s just the way it’s going to be.”

  “Son, that’s just the craziest thing I’ve ever heard.” She took a long drink and then asked, “Does Damon know he’s got a half-sister?”

  “No, and it’s best he doesn’t ever find out about this.”

  “My lips are sealed,” she said, gesturing as if pulling a zipper across her mouth.

  “I just wanted you to meet her because she is your granddaughter.” His eyes went to his daughter sleeping so peacefully in his mother’s arms. “Do you want me to hold her for awhile?”

  “No, I like holding her. It’s been too long since I had a baby to fuss over.”

  “She does look awful comfortable in your arms.”

  “I’ve held my fair share of babies over the years, but there’s just something special about finally getting a little girl in the family.” She smiled down at her granddaughter. “I hope that Odessa will let me be a part of this girl’s life.”

  “We both want that.” Graham breathed a sigh of relief. “I was hoping that maybe you’d want to take on some baby sitting duties every now and then. Dess could sure use all the help she can get with learning how to take care of her.”

  “Don’t she have any family to look out for her?”

  “Her mother died when she was a little girl and her father was a Pentecostal preacher who used to beat the tar out of her. He kicked her out for being friends with a colored girl.” Better to admit that, than her racist father had also disowned her for being a witch. “Her friend, Carmella, and her family, they took her in and she spent most of her teenage years with them up in North Carolina.” His grip tightened on his fork. “I’d like for her daddy to show up cause I’d love to beat the shit out of that man as payback for the way he mistreated her.”

  “That poor girl.”

  “Carmella’s good people. She was a nurse in the emergency room and was there the night they brought me in after the accident.” He rubbed his temple remembering how lucky he was to have survived a seventy-five pound steel window crashing down on his head. “Now she’s doing real good as a midwife and she really helps out with Amalie.”

  “That’s nice, but it
don’t make up for family.”

  “She’s got an older sister still in North Carolina. I fly her down whenever she’s willing to come stay with Dess. I wish she’d move down here so they could be closer.”

  “As peculiar as she seems, I’m guessing Odessa doesn’t have a lot of friends.”

  “Just Carmella.” He wasn’t about to mention Roger Rohde. Now way was he going to open that can of worms. “I think her miserable excuse for a father is part of the reason Dess is so…” He searched to find the right word, finally settling on, “moody.”

  His mother looked as his empty plate. “Maybe you ought to go check on her.”

  Graham wadded up his napkin and placed it on his plate. He was just about to get up when he saw Odessa coming toward the table. She’d let her hair down and it fell over her shoulders in rivulets of crimson, softening her face to make her look as young and innocent as the day he’d first met her.

  She smiled apologetically and leaned over to kiss his cheek, whispering in his ear, “I’m so sorry.”

  He should have been good and mad at her, but there was just no denying the almost super-natural effect of her beauty or the hold she had on his heart.

  Odessa took her seat, immediately opening her purse and handing him a medicine bottle. “Would you open that for me, please?”

  He read the label, seeing that it was the lithium that his doctor had prescribed for her emotional imbalances. Something she’d fought both him and Carmella on taking with any kind of a regular basis. He gladly uncapped the bottle and handed it back to her.

  She swallowed down two of the pills with water instead of gin and turned to his mother, “I really must apologize for my abhorrent behavior. I have…” she glanced back to Graham as if she were searching for the right words.

  “I told mom about how your hormones are still all messed up from the pregnancy and all,” he said.

  “There’s that and,” she turned back to his mom, “you probably already think I’m a little cray cray, so I might as well spill it. I’m an empathic medium.”

  His mother gave him a baffled look, “Okay, let me get this straight, your mistress thinks she sees ghosts?”

  Graham nodded.

  “I don’t just see them,” Odessa continued, obviously unfazed by his mother’s skepticism. “I feel things. I pick up on the emotions and physical pain of the living and those who have crossed over.”

  “Its true, Ma,” Graham said. “She knows when I have a headache even if we aren’t together. I’ll admit that sometimes it’s downright creepy, but she’s legit with this. I promise.”

  “I ran out of here like that because I was overwhelmed by a spirit coming through to me.” Odessa fixed her eyes just above Amalie’s head. “He’s here with us now and he’s telling me he crossed over the day Amalie was born.” She turned back to Graham. “Tell your mother what day Amalie was born.”

  Graham felt an icy chill seep down his spine and the hair on his arm prickled with realization. “September 1st.”

  “Oh, my goodness.” His mother’s eyes widened and her hand flew to her mouth as she immediately realized the significance of that date. “She was born the same day…” She paused as if she were about to choke on the words. “That was why we couldn’t get a hold of you when…”

  Graham nodded and reached for his drink. He took a slow deliberate sip, wishing the glass contained more Jack and a whole lot less Coke.

  “He was with me that night,” Odessa said. “Amalie was born at 7:43 that evening and Graham was right there holding my hand. Carmella even had him cut the umbilical cord.”

  “I’m sorry I wasn’t there, Ma.”

  His mother vehemently shook her head. “You were exactly where you were supposed to be. There was nothing you could have do to have stopped him.”

  Dess reached from Graham’s hand. “Why didn’t you tell me that he shot himself?”

  “I didn’t find out until I got to my office the next morning and got a call…” His voice wavered in the grief he felt about not being there for his mom that fateful night. He gazed up into Odessa’s big green eyes. “You’d just had a baby and it wasn’t like I could have taken you to the funeral with me.”

  She blinked back her tears and took a drink. “I’m sorry I didn’t even think to ask you exactly what had happened. I was just so exhausted and overwhelmed.”

  “What first time mother isn’t?” his mom said, “And you know how Graham is, he’s not one to talk about his own problems.”

  “Do I ever,” Dess said. “I swear, something he thinks it’s his responsibility to carry the weight of the whole world on his shoulders.”

  Da Da,” Amalie cooed, stretching her little arms as she awoke from her nap.

  His mother smiled and kissed the top of Amalie’s head. “There’s no denying this child is yours.”

  “She’s the apple of her daddy’s eye,” Graham admitted.

  “Hey, what about me?” Dess asked.

  “You’ve never been hard on any man’s eyes,” he said, squeezing her hand.

  Instead of accepting the compliment, Dess closed her eyes and bit her lip, her face flushing. Graham swallowed down the lump of dread building in his throat, hoping she wasn’t about to have another meltdown.

  She clutched at the pearls and blinked open her eyes. “He wants me to tell both of you that he is sorry for what he did. The pain just got to be so bad.” Dess rubbed at her temples. “There was something wrong in his head and he was afraid to go to the doctor, so he just took matters into his own hands. He went outside and put the gun to his head. His brain just hurt so bad. He pulled the trigger and then all the pain went away. He was free and he wasn’t hurting no more.”

  “I’d tried to get him to go see a doctor about that headaches and he just wouldn’t do it,” his mom said.

  Graham looked across the table into the grown up version of his daughter’s hazel eyes. “I swear I never told Dess he shot himself. There is no way she could have known any of this if Dad wasn’t coming through to her.”

  “I don’t know what to think,” his mom said.

  “How about some dessert?” the waitress asked as she gathered up their plates.

  “Please bring Graham’s mom a slice of chocolate pie,” Odessa said, surprising him that she knew his mom’s favorite dessert. “He and I will split a slice of cheesecake.” She smiled up at him. “That is, if it’s okay with you.”

  “Sounds good,” he said. “And I think I could use a cup of coffee.”

  Dess laughed. “Be sure to bring him lots of milk and sugar so I can doctor it up for him.”

  “She knows you too well,” Graham’s mom said, laughing right along with her.

  “I reckon she does.”

  After the waitress left, Graham got a small box from his pocket and handed it to his mother. “Amalie got you a little something for Mother’s Day.”

  She opened the box and pulled out a necklace with a circular pendant with one little sapphire surrounded by chunks of a lighter blue garnet. “This is just beautiful,” she said, holding it up to her try to unfasten the clasp.

  “Here, let me.” Odessa leaned over and fastened the necklace around his mother’s neck.

  “Dess, picked it out,” Graham said.

  “I love it,” she said, gazing down to admire the deep blue stones.

  “The sapphire is Amalie’s birthstone and the garnet is yours and Graham’s birthstone,” Dess said. “When I saw the two stones together I knew it was just perfect.”

  “It sure is. Look at my pretty new necklace,” she said, as the waitress placed the plate of pie in front of her. “It’s my first present from my granddaughter here.”

  “They’re both just as pretty as can be,” the waitress said, filling the coffee cup and leaving almost as quickly as she’d arrived.

  Dess took his coffee cup and doused with plenty of milk, stirring in a huge lump of sugar before handing it over to him.

  “This pie is really good,” hi
s mom said, smiling at Dess. “How did you know it was my favorite?”

  “Your husband told me.”

  “Are you sure she never met Joe?” his mother asked.

  “Nope, not until he popped in today,” Dess said, before taking a bite of cheesecake.

  His mom gave Amalie a taste of the chocolate filling and the little girl squealed with delight, smacking her lips for more. She gave Amalie another bite and said, “I think it’s going to be her favorite too.”

  “Well, she is your granddaughter,” Graham said with a laugh.

  “Oh, I almost forgot.” Odessa opened up the diaper bag and pulled out a blue and white swirled candle. “I made you a candle.”

  “Should I even ask how you knew that blue was my favorite color?”

  “That one was just luck,” Dess said. “Unless Spirit was subconsciously helping with ingredients the day I made that batch of candles.”

  “You made this?” She sniffed the candle. “It smells wonderful. Is that hyacinth? That’s my favorite flower. I have then planted all over my yard.”

  “I guess Spirit did have a hand in it then.” Dess absolutely beamed from his mother’s approval. “Hyacinths are one of my favorites, too, and…” she got that far off look in her eyes again. “He says he got you those white hyacinths you planted by the back steps.”

  “You’re giving me goose bumps,” his mom said, hold up her arm. “I don’t think even Graham knew about that.”

  “I told you Dess was legit with this spirit stuff,” Graham said.

  His mother kissed the top of Amalie’s head and rested her chin there like she was breathing only because of that little girl. “I can’t even tell y’all how much this means to me. This child is the most amazing Mother’s Day gift I could have ever dreamed of getting.”

  Odessa

  “It really was lovely to meet you, Mrs. Edwards.”

  “I can’t even tell you how thrilled I am over my grandbaby,” she said, not mentioning anything about her feelings for me.

  Graham’s mother didn’t look like she wanted to let go of Amalie. She’d taken her into the bathroom and had her diaper changed quicker than I could pee. Amalie had seemed so content that I hadn’t offered to carry her out to the car. We hadn’t taken her out with us much, so I was surprised how well my normally fussy child had behaved in front of her Grammy.