Breath of Dragons (A Pandoran Novel)

by Barbara Kloss

  "Because," Sonya replied, her tone conciliatory, "Lord Eris needs Lord Commodus Pontefract. He needs his willing support if he is to make an easy sweep of this world, and right now, with his great army of shadowguard, he does not need the power of the shield." She paused. "I also think that, given their past, Lord Eris may be a little reluctant to destroy an old friend. I think it more likely he is waiting to see what Lord Commodus does. He has already won Lord Commodus's brother, Lord Tiernan, to his side, and I guarantee he believes it is only a matter of time before Lord Commodus allies himself."

  "But what is Commodus waiting for? Why hold on to the stone and remain, by all appearance, neutral? Is he positioning himself for something?" I asked.

  Just then, a servant entered the room. He crossed the floor and stopped behind my chair.

  "A letter for Princess Daria," he said, holding a silver plate before him.

  On the plate was a small note, rolled tightly in a scroll and sealed with green wax bearing the insignia of Valdon. My heart stopped and I exchanged a meaningful glance with Alex. Quickly, I snatched the letter from the tray, slid my finger beneath the seal and unfolded the letter. It was from Stefan. I would recognize his handwriting anywhere.

  My eyes slid over the paper as I held my breath. I read it through again, and then I folded it up and stared at nothing. The walls in the room felt like they were pressing in against me, and my chest suddenly felt very, very heavy.

  We had been discussing strategy for hours, but none of it had mattered. We'd formulated strategy based on old news, and we were now missing the key element we'd needed to make all of our previous plans work: time. This…this news was going to change everything.

  "Your highness?" Sir Torren asked.

  I blinked and glanced up. Everyone was watching me, still and anxious, and Alex's gaze seared like a cattle prod.

  Take a deep breath. Calm down. You must remain calm so that you can think.

  "The letter is from my brother," I said quietly, carefully. "Lord Tiernan and the shadowguard have taken Alioth and have laid siege to the castle in Valdon."

  Sonya sat upright. Chairs squeaked as people shifted and many glances were exchanged around the table.

  "So soon?" Sir Torren asked. "I thought the shadowguard was still at the wall."

  "They were when we left," Sonya said. The lines in her face had deepened with worry, and I knew that she was thinking of her husband, Cicero.

  "This letter is one of five copies sent," I replied, "and the only one, apparently, that made it through." My heartbeat felt erratic in my chest.

  "What of Orindor and Campagna?" Master Durus asked.

  I handed the letter to Sir Torren, who sat beside me. "Here. Read it aloud. I would like everyone to hear."

  Sir Torren gingerly took the paper from my hands, as though it were some delicate piece of crystal. He unfolded the paper and began to read.

  My darling sister,

  The shadowguard have laid siege to the castle. We stand, though they blanket the land beyond the wall. Lord Tiernan leads them with the help of the pykans, and I have caught sight of Lord Eris amidst their ranks. Orindor has not sent help, nor has Campagna, and Alioth has suffered severe losses. I received word this morning that Gesh has sent a legion, though I fear they will not reach us in time. We are vastly outnumbered.

  I am sorry to bring such ill news, Daria. My one comfort is that you are far away from here, and I write only to tell you this: Do not come back to Valdon. Stay where you are, wherever that may be, and stay safe. Keep the Regius line alive. It is up to you now.

  I love you more than you will ever know. You are the stronger between us. Live for me.

  Your adoring brother,

  Stefan.

  P.S. I am sending four additional letters in hopes that one will reach you.

  The table was silent.

  Even though I'd read the letter twice, hearing it aloud hit me differently. Hearing it spoken brought life to his words and made them much more real. "I have to go back," I whispered to no one in particular.

  This statement seemed to shock everyone from heavy silence.

  "Dar—your highness, you can't!" Sonya exclaimed. "You must protect the line, as Stefan said."

  "And Stefan is that line just as much as I am," I said to this. "What about his protection?"

  "His protection is the castle's fortifications; yours is here, with us," Sir Torren said, and the others agreed.

  I slammed my fist on the table. "But those fortifications won't stand forever!"

  "Which is why it's crucial you stay here and stay alive," Arioch Prime said.

  "They're right, Roo—princess," Thad said, leaning back in his chair and twirling that piece of grass in his mouth. "If my pops is there, there's no way you'd get through the shadowguard alive. After what you've done here, you're too much of a threat to him."

  There were nods of agreement, and I pressed my palms to my face and rubbed my temples. It felt like someone was pulling my head apart. What had I done? I never should have left Stefan in the first place. I never should have come on this ridiculous errand.

  Despite my silence, the table erupted in chatter. Everyone cast about ideas and strategies for holding the shadowguard back long enough to get Valdon necessary reinforcements. And what about the guild? Vera had asked Master Durus. Couldn't they conjure some kind of illusion against the shadowguard to keep them at bay until Gesh's troops arrived? Round and round they went, though Alex remained fairly quiet. He sat back in his chair, arms folded over his chest, wearing his blank Aegis-face, but he was always watching me.

  There were more hasty plans thrown. More desperate solutions. But the more they talked, the more something else made itself known to me. The solution to the problem of the siege was, in fact, very simple. It had always been simple; I just hadn't wanted to accept it. My own hope had blinded me from the truth of things. But I could no longer turn a blind eye. I had to face it. I supposed that I had always expected it would come to this, even though I had run far away from it. Hid from it. Even though I had traveled to the opposite corner of the world in an attempt to avoid fate. But now, I saw that there was no other choice. This action was the only thing that would save the world—save Stefan right now. My mission had run out of time.

  My stomach turned and my heart raced. I knew what I had to do, but it was difficult to swallow. The conversation reached a natural lull, and I knew that this was my opening. I had to speak now, or I would never have the courage. "Master Durus, how long would it take you to charge your amulet in order to send me to mainland—alone?"

  The lull became a stony silence. Apprehension filled the spaces in the air, and I kept my eyes fixed on Master Durus' intimidating face to hold on to my resolve.

  "It would take me a few hours to send one person to Valdon." His deep voice resonated through the silence.

  "Not to Valdon," I said. "To Orindor."

  It was as though the table and all of its guests had suddenly petrified. I didn't dare look in Alex's direction. It wasn't because I feared his reaction. It was because I feared I would never go through with this if I saw his face.

  "Rook, you can't—" Thad started.

  I held up a hand in his direction to silence him, but I kept my gaze fastened on Master Durus.

  Master Durus drummed his thick fingers on the oak table. "Three hours."

  "Good. I would like you to make preparations at once." My heart already felt as though it were breaking in half. I turned my attention to Sir Torren. "I will be able to buy us the time. Would you be willing to send your men?"

  "Yes, your highness," Sir Torren said. "I will inform my generals this evening. They would be honored to serve you."

  "Princess Daria," Vera interjected. "Are you sure this is necessary? Couldn't you just elicit the help of the dragons to fight the shadowguard?"

  Vera's concern both surprised and humbled me. "Yes, Aegis Vera, I am sure, for reasons we've already discussed. My bond with the dragons is too new
a thing, and I can't rely on the power of something I don't quite understand. And I certainly don't have the luxury of time to understand it, either. What I do have is my position, which I can use right now, and Orindor has a large army that Valdon needed yesterday. With Orindor's immediate aid, we should be able to hold off the shadowguard until Gesh arrives. And I believe these odds might even persuade Campagna to step in and help. But it won't end there and I can't count on the help of dragons—not yet." Here, I looked at Sir Torren. "We will still need your numbers to strengthen our hold."

  Sir Torren nodded respectfully. "Of course, your highness. Whatever you need."

  "Your highness," Master Durus said. "If you'll excuse me, I must begin with the incantations—that is, if you wish to leave this evening."

  This evening was so soon. Too soon, but necessary.

  My heart squeezed. "Of course. Go right ahead." I nodded at him to go.

  The rest of us sat around the table, discussing how to proceed and what the implications of such a war might mean for the future of Gaia. At some point during the discussion, Alex excused himself and stepped quietly out of the hall. Sonya's gaze followed after him, and there was deep sadness in her eyes.

  I stared down at the table and bit the insides of my cheeks.

  Talk continued, but with Alex gone, I found myself completely distracted. I needed to say a few things to him before it was too late, and it wouldn't be long before Master Durus finished with his amulet. Sir Torren was in the middle of explaining the carrying capacity of his ships when I abruptly stood. He stopped talking and the entire table looked up at me.

  "Forgive me," I said to Sir Torren. "But if you'll all excuse me, I have something I need to do before I go."

  Everyone was very quick to excuse me, which made me suspicious they all knew exactly what that something was. I crossed the room, forcing myself not to break into a full sprint, while feeling Sonya's eyes boring through my back the entire way. A servant pushed the door open for me, and I stepped out into the cold night air. The sun had long since set, giving the stars their dark stage to shine, and they shone brilliantly. A light breeze moved through the city, fluttering banners and ruffling flowers. Lanterns lit the cobblestone streets below and people ambled through the buttery halos. Many were still working, repairing their beautiful city.

  I shut my eyes and reached out with my senses, hoping Alex had let his wall down again so that I might find him. He wouldn't let me find him unless he wanted me to, and I didn't have the time to scour the streets for him.

  Please, Alex, I need to see you. One last time.

  And there he was. The faintest warmth—familiar and comforting—drawing my spirit toward his like a magnet. Relieved, I followed my senses, my footsteps padding softly on the stones.

  I found Alex standing in the shadows behind a building, arms resting on the balustrade of a secluded portico that overlooked the city. All I could see was his silhouette, but even in shadow, his frame was tense and rigid. I approached him slowly and quietly until we were standing side by side. I angled my body to face him, but he continued staring out at the city, hands folded together, his face as hard as stone.

  And my heart ached. I opened my mouth to say something to him, but no words came. Instead, tears filled my eyes and streamed freely over my cheeks. It was then that Alex turned himself to look at me. Through blurred eyes, I saw him fighting for calm. Fighting not to let me see how much he was hurting too, but my tears only flowed faster. I was sobbing now, and he wrapped his strong arms around me, pulling me tight. Tighter than he'd ever held me before, like he was storing up all the embraces we would never share again. He rested his chin on top of my head while I sobbed against his chest, trying to memorize the smell and feel of him.

  I would never be held like this again.

  I would never be touched like this again.

  I would never know what it was like to be with the man I loved.

  "I'm sorry…" My voice trembled as I swallowed salty tears. "I wanted…" I couldn't say what I wanted to say because my throat clamped down.

  Alex squeezed me even tighter, his next breath shuddering against me. "Daria, please don't think I blame you. All my life I've known this day would come." His voice was a whisper, but I didn't think he could speak any louder if he'd tried.

  "I just didn't…Alex, it hurts…"

  He pulled back and he kissed me. Harder than he'd ever kissed me before, holding my body so firmly against his, as if he were trying to fuse us together. And we kept kissing because those kisses could say everything that our words could not. They spoke of an intimacy we would never share, a love we would never have, a future that would never exist. They professed our agony and suffering and the regret of promises that would never be made.

  Alex was the one who eventually pulled back. He wiped the tears from my face, but he didn't look into my eyes. I could see that his were full of tears, too, and he was trying very hard to be strong for me. He was always doing everything for me.

  "You should probably go." Even his whisper cracked.

  And I knew he was right, but, oh! How could I go? How could I leave him here like this? I would go to Orindor as an empty shell of a human because Alex would always have my heart.

  He reached up with his hand to touch my chin and stared deeply into my eyes. "I love you, Daria. I will always love you. They don't yet know the brilliant woman who is about to land in their grasp. Let them see it. Blind them with it as you have blinded everyone else you encounter. If anyone can turn the tides of this war, I know it is you."

  I bit my bottom lip to hold back another sob, and then he released my chin and stepped back. It felt like he was permanently severing our connection. I also noticed he wasn't making any move to come back with me. "You're not coming?"

  "I…" he started, then looked away and shook his head. "I'm sorry, Daria. I can't."

  I inhaled slowly and my breath trembled. I understood. It hurt, but I understood. I wouldn't have been able to watch him walk away from me to marry someone else, either. I touched his cheek and turned it so that I could gaze into his deep green eyes. One last time. "Alexander Del Conte, I love you. More than I ever thought it was possible to love anyone." My voice cracked. "Promise me you'll be careful. The only way I'll be able to survive this is if I know you are alive and safe."

  His emotions surfaced, an exact a mirror of mine, and the two combined were unbearable. I stood on my tiptoes and kissed him lightly on the lips, letting my mouth linger there a moment. Drawing it out. Not wanting our last moment together to end. I knew I had to leave or I never would.

  My chest tightened like someone had both hands around my heart and was squeezing the blood out of it—out of me. With a deep and shuddering breath, I stepped away from him and turned around. And with trembling steps and tears streaming down my face, I walked away from him.

  Alex

  I'd always known this day would come, but nothing could have prepared me for the pain of it. It felt like my soul had torn from my body and was walking away from me, leaving only half the person I was intended to be. I wasn't sure if I knew how to be half.

  I watched her walk away. I watched long after she'd gone because I knew as soon as I looked away, the moment would end and she would be starting a new chapter. A chapter I was not allowed to be a part of. Not like this.

  I gripped the balustrade so tightly my hands ached and closed my eyes. Still, she was there, her beautifully structured face imprinted on my mind forever, looking up at me with those intense gray eyes, seeing everything I didn't say. Everything I was and tried to be. Eyes I would easily get lost in. I could still taste the fullness of her lips. I loved kissing her. My only regret was that I did not kiss her more.

  I wanted to make her stay. I wanted to ask for her to wait for me, but there was no longer any time. I hoped I would not be too late, for as long as I had breath in my body, I would never stop loving her.

  I let go of the balustrade. I had to go; I would have to move quick
ly.

  "Del Can't," said a voice I really didn't want to hear.

  I didn't bother turning toward the voice. I should've expected this to only encourage him further.

  Thad leaned against the balustrade beside me, pretending to stare at the city. He still didn't know how I felt about him, and I preferred it this way.

  "She's gone," he said, when I didn't say anything.

  I'd already assumed she'd gone, but hearing it made me suddenly angry.

  "Did you hear me, Del Can't?" he repeated.

  I turned on him fast. Something in my face must have frightened him—which was a rare circumstance—for he took two steps back, while one of his eyes widened. His other was still purple and swollen.

  "And you're not going after her?" he asked.

  I clenched my jaw and glared back out at the city. Thad reached out and touched my arm, but I threw him off.

  "For the love of all that's holy…" Thad said.

  "That's not a long list for you, considering," I remarked. "And take that blasted piece of grass out of your mouth."

  Thad smirked, chomping on that blasted piece of grass with renewed vigor. "Del Can't, you can't let her marry him!"

  I stood up to full height, turned around, and left the portico.

  "Whoa, whoa, wait!" Thad jogged after me.

  "Most people leave when they know they're not wanted," I said.

  "I'm not most people," he said, taking almost two steps for every one of mine.

  "Clearly."

  Thad buzzed around me like a mosquito. "Give me one good reason why you shouldn't go after her."

  Here, I stopped and bent my face so that it invaded his personal space. "What makes you think I'm not?"

  Thad's eyes widened and the grass angled so far downward I thought it might fall right out of his mouth. To my utter disappointment, it did not. His lips stretched into a conspiratorial smile as though I had just let him in on a secret. I'd already said too much. Before I could divulge anything further, I walked past him.