Pastures of Faith

by Sarah Price

  At the market, Daniel helped her down from the buggy before tying the horse to the hitching rail. They walked inside the market together, each with their own list in hand but their mind elsewhere. The market was located down a long side road and, being outside of the town and tucked within the community, it was frequented by Amish and Mennonites from the area. Occasionally an Englischer would happen upon the market but it was a rare occasion. For that reason, many of the Amish favored it over the other markets closer to town.

  It didn’t take more than thirty minutes to wander through the aisles, the small cart that Rachel pushed quickly filling up with the dry goods that both Katie and Lillian had requested. Daniel noticed only two elderly women that he knew and he greeted them with a kind “Goetendag.” In return, they inquired about his parents and the happenings at the farm.

  After he had visited with them, he found himself hurrying to catch up with Rachel as she continued the shopping.

  “Not one to wait, are you?” he teased.

  “No,” she replied lightly, even though the word was crisp and straightforward. “Too much to buy and too much to do when we get back to the farm. You still need to do the evening milking and feeding, ja?” she reminded him.

  “And you still need to help Lillian with supper, ja?” he jabbed back good-naturedly.

  On the ride back to the farm, Daniel kept hold of the reins but, rather than encourage the horse to trot, he allowed the mare to walk at a brisk pace. A bit slower to take longer, he reasoned to himself. It was still bright out, despite the fact that it was almost five o’clock. In the winter, the sky would already be dark but in the summer, it would stay light until almost nine o’clock. Most nights, Daniel would be in bed before sunset during the summer months.

  “Remember that festival you mentioned a few weeks back?” he asked.

  “I had almost forgotten!” she said excitedly. “Is it soon?”

  He nodded his head solemnly. “This weekend. Thought I might ride out there on Saturday after chores.” The sentence hung between them but she didn’t respond. Finally, Daniel cleared his throat and ventured forward. “If you still wanted to ride along, that is.”

  “I wonder if it’s like the summer festivals in Ohio?” she asked. “Do they have games and food booths?”

  Again, Daniel nodded. “And music and rides, too.”

  She clapped her hands together, seeming young and carefree. “Oh Daniel, that sounds like so much fun. I’d love to ride along with you.”

  There was something contagious about her joy and innocence and, for the first time that he could remember, Daniel found himself looking forward to the rest of the summer nights of his rumspringa, spending time with this lively young woman at his side.

  Chapter Eleven

  The streets were closed to any vehicles. Big plastic white traffic barriers stopped the cars and buggies. There was a large parking lot full of cars and pick-up trucks. Across the street was a separate lot with several Amish buggies and horses that stood patiently awaiting the return of their owners. Apparently, there were plenty of Amish in attendance at the festival.

  Daniel had picked up Rachel earlier in the afternoon. She was dressed in a pink dress with her black apron and prayer kapp. Everything about her was fresh and clean, including the sweet scent of lavender soap that she must have used to wash up after a day of working around the house. He loved the way she blushed when he knocked at the door, avoiding the cheerful looks from Lillian and Junior who, having walked down this road before, were too familiar with the journey.

  The ride to the festival was longer than usual, especially since it was a good five miles away. He had asked her about her day and listened to her enthusiastic stories about Linda and Jacob as well as visiting with Sylvia earlier in the day. It was clear that Rachel had developed a nice friendship with both Sylvia and Lillian. That pleased him because he was well aware of how truly faithful and good both of them were.

  The traffic had picked up as they continued down New Holland Road and, with so many cars, their conversation had died down, leaving Daniel to focus on driving the horse amidst the passing cars, some of which did not always slow down properly when passing the horse and buggy. He much preferred driving along the back roads where life took a different pace, a pace that was more aligned with his way of thinking and living. On a weekend night, especially during the summer, the main streets were more crowded with Englischer youth who didn’t always respect the ways of the Amish.

  Once they arrived at the festival, Daniel took care of the horse, making certain the mare had fresh water and hay to replenish her energy for the long drive home. Only then did he turn to Rachel and smile. “Ready, ja?”

  She nodded but didn’t speak. She looked around her, staring at the bright lights and crowds of people. For a moment, Daniel frowned, wondering what she was thinking. But, despite the expression on her face, she took a step away from the buggy, waiting for him to take her arm as they crossed the street.

  But as they approached the entrance to the festival grounds, everything seemed to hit them at once. The blinking lights, the smells of strange food, the loud noises of games, people, and laughter. Daniel was amazed, never having seen so many people in one place outside of an auction. In truth, people seemed to have emerged from everywhere, filling the road that was lined with booth after booth of games, activities, and food vendors. The crowd was a mix of people: Amish, Mennonite, and Englischers. Lights flashed and loud noises came from every corner, whether from people laughing or booth vendors calling out to passing couples, trying to entice them to come to their booth.

  The Englischers that walked along the streets were different than the ones that both Daniel and Rachel typically saw in stores or along the streets. They weren’t tourists, that was for certain. Instead, it was clear that these were Englischers that lived among the Amish. For starters, they didn’t gawk at Daniel and Rachel. That was one of the first things that Daniel noticed.

  The young girls wore shorts that exposed too much of their legs and tops that exposed too much of their stomachs and chests. They wore faces full of painted colors that hid their natural beauty behind thick layers of eye shadow, lipstick, and blush. Some of the young boys wore sleeveless shirts while others wore no shirts at all. Many of the youth had cigarettes dangling from their lips as though it was part of their costume.

  It was clear that Daniel and Rachel stood out from the other people at the festival.

  Rachel looked around nervously, her eyes wide as she took in the sights. She seemed tense and frightened, the joyous Rachel from just a few days ago having vanished, replaced with the Rachel that had arrived at the farm several months prior. She walked behind Daniel, close enough so that, if he slowed his pace, she would bump into him. Even when he asked her to ride on the Ferris wheel, she simply shook her head and looked away. He thought he saw tears in her eyes and wanted to ask her about it. Yet, without asking, he knew that everything about this night was just a huge mistake. He just didn’t understand exactly why.

  “Hungry?” he asked as they passed a booth selling steak sandwiches.

  She shook her head and looked away, as though embarrassed by her own reaction.

  “Rachel?” he asked softly. He saw her try to muster her strength and put on a brave face. However, he could read through it. Clearly something was bothering her. He turned to face her and reached out to touch her arm. “Rachel, are you OK?”

  She nodded. “Of course,” she said, forcing a smile. But it was obvious that she was intimidated by the crowd. “I just thought that…well…”

  “You thought what?” he encouraged gently.

  “I thought it would be less…” Her voice trailed off and she glanced around at the people.

  “Crowded, ja?”

  “It’s very crowded,” she admitted. The way she looked around made her discomfort more than clear. In fact, Daniel realized, she looked downright frightened and intimidated.

  “We can leave, Rachel.” And he
meant the words that he spoke. He wasn’t feeling very comfortable himself, perhaps more so because of her unease but he certainly didn’t care for the looks of the people.

  She tried to smile again. “Let’s just walk a little, ja? Mayhaps it’ll get better further from the rides.”

  Yet, when they walked, she seemed even more timid, walking so close to him as if she wanted his protection. He felt her arm brush against his and he wished that he could put his arm around her to let her know that he was there for her. But he also knew that would not be proper, especially in public.

  He noticed a few other Amish youths hanging around the different stands. But it was mostly Amish boys and some of them were clearly in the midst of a rebellious rumspringa. One of the boys smoked a cigarette and another wore a baseball cap. There were a few clusters of Mennonite youths but no one that Daniel recognized.

  When they passed a booth with several boys leaning against the railing, popping balloons with darts, the color drained from her face and she reached for his arm. He could tell that she was not having a good time and he was sorry that he had brought her. In fact, he was sorry that he was there, too. Whatever fun his other brothers had shared at the festival so many years ago, clearly it was a much different place today.

  “Was ist los?” he asked softly, placing his hand on top of hers. He spoke in German so that passing people couldn’t understand. He couldn’t imagine what was bothering her, she had been so excited to arrive. But he knew that there was something wrong.

  “Es tut mir lied,” she replied, whispering her apology to him in German.

  “Nothing to be sorry about,” he replied softly. Truth was that he had only wanted to come to the festival because of her. “Do you want to go home? I don’t mind.”

  She started to say something but, at that very moment, two Englischer teenagers walked by and bumped into her. She stumbled forward, falling into Daniel. He helped to steady her and glanced at the men, feeling a flash of anger course through his blood at the fact that the men didn’t even turn to apologize to her.

  “Sind sie OK?” he asked.

  Rachel didn’t have time to answer whether or not she was OK. Instead, in a split second, one of the young men turned around. The Pennsylvania dialect had caught his attention and he grabbed at his friends, causing them to stop in their tracks. He started laughing, pointing at Daniel and Rachel. “Ain’t that cute? Little Amish boy and his purty little Amish girlfriend.”

  One of his friend’s laughed with him, quickly adding, “Bet he works her hard in that field of his.”

  Disgusted, Daniel took Rachel’s arm and started to lead her away. He wished that he could say something to the two young men, to force them to apologize. But it simply wasn’t the way of the Plain People. Instead, retreat was the only option. Turn the other cheek, he had always been taught.

  “Let’s go,” he said firmly.

  Clearly the festival had been a bad idea, he thought. In years past, it had been a common autumn activity for courting couples. Emanuel and Steve had taken their girls to the festival and never once had an incident. Perhaps, now that the festival was held earlier in the summer season, trouble had found its way to spoil the good times for others.

  “Hey!” One of the Englischer’s shouted. “I was talking to you, Amish boy!”

  “Leave us be,” Daniel said, trying to ignore the fury that pulsated through his veins. He had never felt such an emotion. Anger. His jaw was clenched tightly and his senses felt on high alert. It was a horrible feeling, one that he hoped he would never feel again. It infuriated him that these young men found pleasure in behaving so ungodly, delighting in saying such ugly things in front of a woman…in front of his Rachel.

  Protectively, he took Rachel’s arm and guided Rachel in front of him, putting himself between her and the two awful young men. Daniel didn’t want to get into an altercation with these two Englischers. Fighting wasn’t the Amish way. Besides, he suspected they had been drinking from the looks on their faces and the slur in their speech. He just wanted to get Rachel away from this awful place and back to the safety of the farm.

  “Go and run, farmer boy,” one of them said and reached forward to knock Daniel’s hat off of his head.

  Without thinking, Daniel turned around and shoved the offender, the force of his push causing the Englischer to fall onto the ground. One of his friends started to lunge toward Daniel. He thought he heard Rachel scream but Daniel acted instinctively, preparing to protect her and fight the man. However, a passing man quickly jumped between them, holding the Englischer back as a small crowd formed.

  People were murmuring, glaring at the two Englischers who had picked the fight with Daniel. Daniel retrieved his hat and nodded his appreciation to the bystander who continued to hold the angry youth at bay. Taking Rachel’s arm again, Daniel led her through the crowd, not stopping at any of the booths as they hurried toward his buggy in order to get away.

  For the first few moments, they rode in silence. Daniel felt his heart still racing and he wasn’t certain whether he was angry or embarrassed. He had wanted to fight the young boys but knew that fighting was a sin. Yet, when they had been bothering Rachel, his anger had flared. Quickly. He had tried to walk away but the boys had continued after them. Daniel hadn’t meant to get physical with them but he felt the need to not just protect but to defend Rachel. Yet, in the aftermath, he didn’t feel good about his actions.

  He stopped the buggy at a stoplight, taking advantage of the red light to glance over at Rachel. She was staring away from him and he couldn’t tell if she was upset about the incident or his reaction. He felt horrible, never having lost his temper before that moment. Never had anyone pushed him so far. Never had he felt that someone he cared about was threatened. His reaction had surprised him but he wasn’t regretful.

  At least, not then. Now, as he saw that Rachel’s narrow shoulders shuddered, he realized that she was stifling a sob. He wanted to console her but he had never been near a weeping woman. Tears of pain and suffering were not something usual in his world. He wasn’t certain what to do. Carefully, he held the horse’s reins in one hand and reached over to touch her hand gently. “I’m terribly sorry, Rachel. I had no idea.”

  She shook her head and wiped at her eyes with her other hand. How could she begin to explain to him, she wondered. There simply were no words. “I thought I was over it,” she whispered. “I thought I could do it but I was wrong.”

  “Over what?” he asked, his voice soft and gentle.

  “My mother,” she whispered.

  Daniel frowned. Had he heard her correctly? Had she whispered something about her mother? Before he could ask, the light changed to green and, behind them, someone honked a car horn. Daniel slapped the reins gently on the horse’s back, clicking his tongue to get the mare moving forward.

  “I don’t understand,” he said, the confusion in his voice surprising even him.

  It wasn’t as though he had never had encounters with Englischers like that prior to this evening. It was just something that they had learned to tolerate…an extension of the persecution from the late 1600s in Switzerland that had forced his people to migrate to America. With their world being so different from that of the Englischers, it wasn’t too surprising that tourists flocked to Lancaster County, PA and often said the wrong thing or tried to steal a photo of them. Over the years, Daniel had learned to ignore those people.

  Of course, what had happened tonight was different. Those young men were clearly not tourists. They were local people who had probably grown up around the Amish and, mayhaps, were resentful of their lives. It wasn’t uncommon for local residents to not be as appreciative of the Amish lifestyle as tourists were. After all, it was because of the Amish that hundreds of thousands of people flocked to Lancaster County, clogging roads and restaurants, especially during the summer months. The locals didn’t always like the Amish for that very reason. And, not infrequently, some of those resentful locals might misbehave toward the A
mish when opportunities arose.

  But what did that have to do with Rachel and her mother’s death? Daniel was perplexed at her words. He tried to figure out some connection but, as his mind rolled over the possibilities, he simply didn’t see one. “Rachel, I’m not understanding you. What do those boys have to do with your mother?”

  But Rachel merely shook her head, unable to speak. For the rest of the drive home, she kept staring into the darkness, her face turned away from him so that he couldn’t see the tears streaming down her face.

  Chapter Twelve

  For the next few days, Rachel seemed to have retreated back to her former self. Gone was the cheerful smiles that greeted everyone or the light lilt of her laugh. Instead, she avoided going outside of the house as much as possible and complained frequently of having a headache. Many afternoons she would excuse herself to go lay down in the upstairs bedroom, despite the heat and humidity that clung to the second floor during the hot summer days.