Unsettled

by Ellington, S. C.

  “Good speech,” she mouthed from across the table, smiling and shaking her head like a bobble head figurine in approval.

  Classical music began to waft through the speakers and the MC invited everyone out onto the dance floor.

  “Dance with me?” Logan requested when he made it back to our table.

  “All right,” I said, standing to my feet, “but only if the party crashers join us,” I said, pointing at Jay and Alex. “I need other people out there who have two left feet like I do.

  “Sure—I can’t have you out there looking like a fool by yourself,” Alex chimed in over the music, standing to her feet.

  “Watch your toes,” I warned to Logan as we stepped onto the wooden floor. I was more of a casual dancer. When it came to waltzes, mambos, or cha chas, I wasn’t winning any prizes.

  Logan took me into his arms, taking me along in easy sway movements and circles. I caught on quickly enough, and prayed that I wouldn’t fall in front of all the people twirling around us.

  “I liked your speech. Seems like you know how to host a party,” I remarked, attempting to keep up with his strides. “Why didn’t you tell me you were the founder and host of this shindig?” I asked.

  “You should know by now that I don’t like to draw attention to myself. I was slightly annoyed that Alan called me to the stage.” The couple next to us swayed in perfect harmony.

  “Back to more important things—have I told you how beautiful you look tonight?” he asked, stepping back to spin me around. My dress twirled at my feet, showing off my crystalline shoes.

  “As a matter of fact, you have,” I responded when he pulled me back to his chest.

  “Well I definitely can’t wait for later,” he murmured, running his finger over one of my shoulder straps. My exposed skin shivered under his touch.

  “Mind if I cut in?” Jay asked. Alex was standing next to him.

  “Sure, take her away,” Logan said, offering my hand.

  “You’re stuck with me now buddy,” Alex teased as Logan took her hand and led her into a spin timed to saxophone beats and chimes.

  Jay took my hand and pulled me in so that we could sway together among the other guests. “This is a nice place,” he commented as we swung together.

  “Yeah it is,” I agreed. The way that the ceiling was adorned with sparkly, crystal chandeliers and coffered ceilings really brought the room to life.

  “So what’s the real situation with you two?” Jay smiled.

  “I think right now we’re sort of just feeling one another out. Undeniably, there is a lot to take in.”

  “I can understand that, it takes a while to get to know someone. He seems like a cool cat though,” Jay said, smirking. Jay had taken on the role of big brother in some respects.

  “What’s the smirk about?” I asked. His smirk shifted slightly, revealing that he had other thoughts on his mind.

  “Well—you’re like a sister to me and Alex, and seeing you happy makes her happy. But I just wanted to know if you thought you and Damon might ever patch things up. The whole time he was here, all I heard about was how he royally screwed up.”

  I took in Jay’s words as we rocked back and forth. His admission was slightly surprising. Even though Damon had made his intentions clear the other night, I hadn’t expected him to still be wallowing in it. He was the type of guy who always bounced back.

  “He seems to think he has a shot at getting you back, but I figured I would just ask you. You know Alex wants to string him up by his toe nails, but out of respect for me, she wouldn’t go that far.” I couldn’t think of a more fitting torture.

  He smiled fondly at the mention of her name. “I guess I’m just trying to say that I’ve been where he is right now—well, maybe not to the same extent, but similar. Luckily for me, Alex took my sorry ass back, but whatever your answer, I’ll relay that to him so hopefully you both can move on in peace.”

  “What did you do exactly?” I asked, letting curiosity get the best of me. Alex failed to give me the full details of her breakup with Jay.

  “I guess it was a mixture of immaturity and dumb luck. I started falling for a girl who I worked with, but once I realized that I was screwing up things with Alex, I killed it. It nearly broke Alex because she’d given up so much for me. It nearly killed me knowing that I was the source of her pain,” he said, grimacing at the memory.

  “Well, I’m glad that you guys found your way back to one another. As far as Damon and I go though, no Jay, there is no chance for us.” I found Jay’s eyes. “He hurt me beyond repair,” I whispered.

  “I understand. I just want to see both of you happy—and right now, he isn’t.”

  “Well, there isn’t much I can do about that,” I said. I had spent years suffering in silence. I was ready to move on with my life. Logan stepping into the picture had kickstarted the process.

  “Well, I hope you know that while I wish there was a way for things to go back to how they were, like Alex I just want you to be happy. If Logan makes you happy, then so be it. But if he hurts you, I’ll want to break his face, just like Alex would. I don’t know who will be worse for him to deal with, me or her,” he joked, showing a clenched tooth smile.

  I laughed at his face. “I think I’ll have to give that award to Alex. But I’m trying to be optimistic. Hopefully it won’t come to that.”

  Just then, the song ended and I decided to excuse myself to go to the ladies room. I walked over the Alex and Logan.

  “Hey, I’m going to go powder my face. Do you want to go with me?”

  “Yeah, let me just grab my purse,” she said.

  We slithered through the other dancers with Logan and Jay on our heels. When we got back to our table, I turned to see Logan tied up with a man in a tight suit. My bladder was starting to sing.

  “Ready?” I asked Alex as Jay took a seat at the table.

  “Yep, let’s go.” Alex and I headed off in search of the restroom, flowing through the masses of guests.

  I was too consumed with need to marvel at the plush decorations of the lavatory. I almost broke out into a full sprint.

  “I’ll be right back,” I said, pushing my way through the door that separated me from sheer relief.

  “All right,” Alex said, plopping down on one of the couches.

  I walked through the empty space and into one of the stalls at the end of the row. I proceeded to hike my dress up, and it was hard trying to roll down my nylons and not let my dress accidentally fall into the toilet.

  I was adjusting my nylons back on my waist when I heard the sound of two women’s voices come through the door.

  “I’m so bored; this is my third benefit dinner this month. Sometimes I get tired of the same song and dance.” Poor you, I thought sarcastically. L.L.A.P was a great effort to help those in need. Wounded vets came to my mind at that moment.

  “Agreed, but at least this event has some fine eye candy to look at.”

  “Seriously, Logan is a sight for sore eyes.” Logan? My ears perked when I heard his name.

  “Morgan, I hope you aren’t lying in wait for Logan. Elizabeth would hate you forever.”

  “Of course not, Sam! I could never do that to her.”

  “I just feel bad it didn’t work out between him and Liz. I talked to her last week. She’s starting to show, and I don’t think she’s told him yet.”

  What the hell? My limbs were frozen in place. I willed myself not to begin to panic. Maybe they weren’t talking about my Logan. Or maybe they weren’t talking about Elizabeth Drexel. There were plenty of people in the world named Elizabeth and Logan, right?

  The knot in my stomach grew with every breath. I was finding it hard to breathe.

  “I don’t know how she’s going to be able to make it through shooting Ashen Willows. There are too many sex scenes. She won’t be able to hide her growing stomach.” Now I knew for certain that they were in fact speaking of Elizabeth and Logan.

  I felt like I was going to faint. T
he realization that Logan had lied to me hit me in the gut like a wrecking ball. I put my hand against the wall of the stall to continue standing upright.

  “Well, I’m sure she’ll figure it out. Let me just put on some more gloss, and then we can go.”

  “Incidentally, did you see his date tonight? I have never seen her before. Doesn’t seem like she’s part of the normal circuit.”

  “How could I not? He could only not take his eyes off her all evening.”

  “Yeah, I noticed that too.”

  I heard her blot her lips, “Okay, I’m done. Gloss is shining, let’s go.”

  I heard the pairs of shoes shuffle along the tile floor, and then the door closed. When I allowed myself to breathe again, I dropped my arms to my sides, still paralyzed by what I’d just heard. How could he lie to me? He told me he hadn’t been with anyone in a year. He’d fed me lies and I just ate them up like a stupid idiot! My eyes burned as I opened the door to my stall, and focused on making it to the sink.

  It was just me, my thoughts, and the echo of my heels in the enclosed porcelain chamber. As soon as I looked at myself in the mirror, tears began to well in my eyes. Don’t cry! I yelled at myself. I didn’t want to give Logan the satisfaction of knowing that he’d penetrated my armor.

  “Brooklyn? Did you fall in?” I looked up as Alex was coming through the swinging door. “Hey—what’s wrong?” she asked. Her eyebrows creased with concern.

  It took me a few seconds to form a sentence. “I want to…I want to go home. Now.”

  “Brooklyn? What happened?” she asked.

  I didn’t have the energy to respond.

  “Okay, let’s go. Do you need to get anything else from the table?”

  I shook my head in response and headed for the door.

  22

  I stood outside the ballroom, waiting for Alex to come back with Jay. To my chagrin, when she exited the room, Jay and Logan were in tow. Alex shrugged her shoulders at me as if to offer an apology.

  Immediately Logan was at my side. “What’s wrong, baby?” I didn’t respond. Words were lost in my thoughts. How could he? How could he?

  “Brooklyn, talk to me. What’s the matter?” I turned away from him. Alex and Jay stood on either side of me.

  “Excuse me,” I said, requesting that he move out of my way.

  “Brooklyn, talk to me, please. What happened?”

  “You lied to me,” I said flatly. There. Now he knew.

  “Lied to you? Lied about what?” he asked, his face contorted in confusion.

  “Goodbye, Logan,” I said, sliding between him and Jay.

  “What? What is going on?” he asked frantically, catching up to me as I continued a steady pace toward the exit of the hotel. Hearing the heartbreak in his voice seared my insides, but it served him right. He hurt me. He lied to me. He had a kid on the way. How could he not tell me that? If Elizabeth was pregnant, he clearly lied to me about when he last saw her. Actually, he lied to me about her in general. He told me they were never a couple.

  “Where are you parked?” I barked at Jay. Having Logan in my proximity was grating on my nerves. I was really trying to hold myself together.

  “Valet,” Jay answered, startled by the tone in my voice and clearly confused as to why we were leaving. I busted a left turn toward the valet exit. My dress got caught on my heel and I tripped forward. Logan was right there to catch my arm. “Brooklyn, please stop. Talk to me. What is going on?” he pleaded.

  I yanked my arm away from his grasp. “Get off me! I got this,” I seethed. I made it to the valet area without another incident, but unfortunately Logan kept my pace. He stood menacingly next to me, tension radiating off him like electricity.

  “Brooklyn—wh-”

  “We have nothing to discuss,” I said, cutting him off. The shields around my heart had rose from six to thirty in a matter of minutes.

  “Thank you for tonight. It was…eye opening. I will send the clothes back to you. Please go. There is no need to make a spectacle,” I hissed. Logan gaped at me in disbelief. For the briefest of moments, he looked like his world was crumbling, but then he slid on the stoic CEO face.

  “Fine,” he said, turning and walking in the other direction. I watched as a tiny piece of my heart clung to his jacket and walked away with him.

  How had I been so stupid to let myself fall so easily?

  I STUFFED MY EVENING gown into the backseat of Jay’s Altima. As soon as the door closed behind me, a solitary tear fell. Alex chose to sit in the backseat. I knew she wanted to console me, but I just wanted to crawl into a hole and die. I felt hot. I felt cold. I looked down to see that my hands were shaking. I shoved my hands under my legs to stop them from trembling.

  As Jay pulled out of the parking garage and into the night, I just looked out the window in silence. The last couple of months had been filled with so much promise, but in a matter of minutes everything crumbled and was royally flushed down the toilet.

  “B? Do you want to talk about what happened?”

  “No,” I breathed, leaning my head against the window glass.

  I didn’t have Jay take me to Logan’s house to pick up my things. In reality I couldn’t have done that if I wanted to since I technically didn’t know his address. I took solace in the fact that I had my wallet and cell phone. I hadn’t taken much, so it wouldn’t be that huge of a loss if my belongings were thrown out by Amelia.

  The drive home went by at a snail’s pace. I started to ask Jay to press harder on the gas pedal, but decided I’d probably barked at him enough for the evening. The evening's sudden turn of events wasn't his fault anyway.

  We finally made it home, and before I knew it I was undressed and slumped over in my bed. I was proud of myself; I hadn’t let another tear fall from my eye since I’d got out of the car.

  Right when I got home I undressed and got a shower. I was resolute—I was going to be like Mary J. Blige—I wasn’t going to shed any tears over him.

  But then I made the mistake at looking in the direction of my bookshelf. There he was, in his prized spot in the middle of my glass shelf. Herman sat bright and erect in the same spot I’d placed him in after my weekend with Logan. It was too much; the whole thing was too much.

  A heavy sob escaped me. I curled up on my bed. All the tears I’d held back escaped out of me like a flowing river. He’d done it—Logan had made it past the metal grate and into the castle where my heart lived. The difference between my life and a fairy tale was that he’d managed to make it past the stone walls, then stab me with the sharpest of all swords.

  I sobbed quietly into my pillow, praying for the pain to end.

  MY PHONE BEGAN TO vibrate on my bed in the darkness. I wiped my face. My eyes stung from crying. The screen was blurry. I swiped my finger across the answer button.

  “Hello,” I said, my voice shaking.

  “Brooklyn, it’s Damon—please don’t hang up.”

  Keep in Touch with S.C. Ellington!

  Email: author@scellington.com

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  Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/18485102-unsettled?ac=1

  Want to see where Logan and Brooklyn’s story is headed, visit my website for a teaser.

  www.scellington.com

 

 

 
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