The Stronger, Safer Kind (The Boys of DownCrash #1) (new adult contemporary rockstar romance)

by Casey, London

  I reached for him and let my fingertips slide up and down his body, following his muscles, looking at his tattoos. His hands touched my hips again, his thumbs outstretched as far as possible, coming so close to touching between my legs.

  “Fuck,” he growled.

  “Yes,” I cried back and moved my body at him.

  There was no stopping. No pausing. Nothing.

  I wanted this. I needed it.

  “Come on, Tripp,” I teased.

  Tripp looked at me and smiled. He sped up and then I felt it. I felt his climax. He didn’t move his eyes from mine as he came. He was inside me, creating a connection that I suddenly wanted forever.

  My mouth fell open as I stared into Tripp’s eyes. I felt like I could cry again. He came and everything changed, just like that. Another moment, another group of seconds, something changing forever.

  Tripp’s right hand slid across my body and down, touching me. He looked down with a face of shock as he slowly pumped me over and over. His thumb rubbed between my legs, making me cry for him again. He pulled out and then reached for my sides. I sat up and threw my arms around him, hugging him.

  Our bodies were hot, sweaty, and our hearts pounding together.

  Romance lingered along with our lust. But soon something else entered.

  Something more raw, something more true.

  Tripp moved without letting me go, sliding his way down the backseat until he was on his back and I was one top of him. He held me, his grip strong, his chin on my head, my cheek resting against his heart. I saw his hand and went for it, making sure our fingers were locked together.

  We remained there in silence for a few minutes until Tripp broke our lock and suggested we get dressed. I could tell we were both still drunk and even then, the smarter version of myself kicked in.

  “We can’t drive,” I said. “We drank that bottle…”

  “Who said we were driving?” Tripp asked and smiled.

  He reached forward and took the keys out of the ignition and dropped them to the seat. Then he reached under the front seat and brought out a smaller bottle of vodka. It was unopened only for a few seconds before he twisted the cap off and took another drink.

  I’d never seen someone drink like Tripp did.

  It worried me but it was so sexy to watch.

  He handed me the bottle and I took a sip. That was all my stomach could handle. It churned and I shook my head.

  “I’m done,” I said. “Or else I’ll puke.”

  “That’s fine. Come here again.”

  We went back to our position, me resting on Tripp. We were warm, drunk, and nothing else mattered. We didn’t need useless chatter to be comfortable and that scared me because I’d never been so comfortable with someone as I was with Tripp.

  Not even Andy.

  “Do you love him?” Tripp asked, making me jump.

  I was so dazed and relaxed that his voice startled me.

  “Love who?” I asked.

  “String bean. Do you love him?”

  I didn’t reply right away. Tripp and I just had sex. And now he wanted to know about Andy.

  “Of course I love him,” I said. “But I don’t think it’s the way he loves me.”

  “Sucks to be him then.”

  I smiled and closed my eyes. “Yeah. I guess.”

  I could hear the slosh of the vodka in the bottle as Tripp continued to drink. The wet pop of his lips coming off the bottle. The feel of him swallowing. His muscles getting looser and looser.

  “You had a lot to drink,” I whispered.

  “Does it bother you?”

  “Maybe.”

  “Don’t let it.”

  I started to drift off, screaming at myself to wake up. I didn’t want the night to end. The stars were out. The cool breeze. The warm car. The aroma of our bodies and sex stuck in the car. Tripp holding me. The freedom that came with it all.

  I was just about gone when I heard Tripp drop the bottle to the floor. The way it hit told me it was empty. I didn’t want to see it. I couldn’t imagine him drinking a bottle by himself, even if it was small.

  “Scarlett… why can’t I say your name?”

  His voice was slurred. Bad.

  “It hurts me,” I admitted. “But I won’t say why.”

  “Okay. I understand. I won’t ask.”

  “Thank you, Tripp, for everything.”

  “Thank you,” Tripp said. His hands squeezed me, one hand playing with my hair. “I’m just glad I’m not the only one in pain…”

  14

  When I sat up the next morning, my head felt like it was about to explode. I looked down at Tripp, watching him sleep. I thought about waking him but decided not to. I needed a few seconds to absorb everything.

  The night.

  The sex.

  The… everything.

  I was supposed to go out by myself, a night to reflect on life and the decision I had to make with Andy. Somehow I ended up in the back of Tripp’s car. My body tingled and I knew damn well there was no regret in that decision at all.

  And there never would be.

  I stared at his face. He was just plain sexy. Everything about him, even the stuff he was hiding. I touched his jaw and moved my finger along, feeling so many emotions attacking me at once. For a second I saw Tripp and I driving. Just going wherever we wanted, not stopping until everything stopped hurting. But that was impossible because the pain was locked inside us.

  Tripp opened his eyes and smiled.

  “Scarlett,” he said. “You’re still here.”

  “Tripp, I don’t know where the fuck I am,” I said and laughed. “Where can I go?”

  Tripp looked around and realized he was in the backseat of his car. He hurried and sat up, rubbing his face.

  “Oh, shit,” he said. “I haven’t slept in my car since a few years ago when we were on tour.”

  “Really?” I asked.

  “Yeah. We couldn’t afford a van or anything so we drove our own cars. I put my guitar and amp in the front seat and slept in the back. One night, someone punched in Logan’s window and stole his bass. That kind of cut the tour short. He was so fucking pissed.”

  “I would be too,” I said.

  “Yeah. Okay, let’s get out of here.”

  Tripp climbed to the front seat and I couldn’t help myself as I took two handfuls of his perfect ass. He sat down and looked back at me.

  “You really want to start that shit in the morning?” he asked. “I’m ready to go right now, love, climb on.”

  I shook my head, trying to avoid him seeing my cheeks turning red.

  I climbed to the passenger seat and then we were off. I kind of wished we would get stuck in the mud but there was no mud. In the daylight I realized we were on a gravel road. Last night in the pitch black I felt like we were off-roading. The illusion of the darkness.

  What wasn’t an illusion was what Tripp and I had done. And it’s what I thought about the entire ride back to my apartment. He stopped the car and looked at me. He put his right elbow to the middle console and had his hand open as though I were supposed to shake his hand or slap him five or something guyish. I looked at his hand and then laughed.

  “What’s wrong?” he asked.

  “I expected more of a goodbye than this,” I said.

  “Sure,” Tripp said. “But you must know, I’m a complete gentleman here. I won’t impose my way into a girl’s apartment.”

  “But her pants are a different story?” I asked.

  “Totally,” Tripp said.

  I took his hand and squeezed. “Come on. Come up for a couple minutes.”

  Tripp turned off the car and I led him to my apartment. I smiled ear to ear and kept in front of him so he couldn’t see it. It was just too crazy and too sexy that Tripp Sage, lead singer of DownCrash, walked behind me to my apartment. I opened the door and led him in. I shut the door and locked it, then stood awkwardly as Tripp looked around the apartment.

  That’s when the
thought of Maggie hit me.

  Oh, shit… was she home?

  “Tripp,” I whispered. “Tripp. Come here.”

  “What’s up?” he asked.

  I shook my head. “Be quiet for a second.”

  “What’s wrong? Boyfriend here?”

  “Stop it,” I growled. “I’m not sure if my roommate is here.”

  I walked by Tripp to Maggie’s door. I tapped on a few times with my finger.

  “Hey, Maggie? Are you awake?”

  No response.

  Maggie sometimes slept like a rock so I knocked harder. Then I checked the door. Unlocked. I opened it to find Maggie’s room empty, the bed made, and no signs of her. I shook my head.

  Oh, Maggie…

  I wasn’t the only one who had a really good night it seemed.

  I looked over my shoulder and waved to Tripp.

  I pointed to my bedroom and smiled.

  I wanted him again.

  Even if Maggie came home and we were in the middle of… you know… I wouldn’t care. Maggie wouldn’t know what to do if she saw me in bed with the lead singer of DownCrash. In fact, that turned me on almost as much as Tripp’s dark eyes as he stared at me.

  He took two more steps and then a knock came at the apartment door. I jumped and Tripp froze, his eyes wide. Nothing bothered him, not even who was behind the door. Tripp twisted his hand like he was opening a door and I shook my head.

  “Go look,” I whispered and pointed to my eyes.

  He hurried to the door and checked out the peephole and then turned with a big grin on his face.

  Oh, no.

  He ran to me and scooped me up in his arms. He pushed me against my closed door and I let out a squeal.

  The knock came again and Tripp put his lips to my ear.

  “It’s…”

  “Scarlett, are you home?” the voice yelled from the door.

  “…Andy,” Tripp finished and then licked my ear.

  “Shit,” I said. “Tripp. You have to go.”

  “I’ll go out the front door then.”

  “No!” I cried.

  Andy knocked again.

  “Andy, hold on!” I yelled.

  I opened my bedroom and let Tripp take me into it. This was not how I imagined Tripp Sage taking me to my bedroom. But it certainly was fitting. He dropped me to the bed and stood between my legs, looking aggressive and strong. He loved it. He reveled in the moment.

  “Tripp, seriously,” I said.

  Andy knocked again. “Scarlett? Are you okay?”

  Tripp backed away and let me out the bedroom.

  I ran to the front door and looked, as though I expected Andy not to be there and it would some kind of cruel joke.

  Andy was there.

  “I’m fine,” I said and unlocked the door.

  Andy damn near barged through the door. I had to jump back so the door didn’t send me flying into the wall.

  I knew I had to look guilty and I did my best not to look back at my bedroom.

  Holyshit, this was bad. Like, really bad.

  “Scarlett… what’s going on?”

  I looked at Andy. “Nothing. I was in my room. I think I fell asleep.”

  That’s it… just start lying. Build and build. More secrets. More lies.

  “You look… tired,” Andy said. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

  “Okay, fine. I’m a little hungover.”

  I wasn’t lying. My head throbbed. I felt woozy and fuzzy, wishing that Tripp and I had decided on going to some greasy diner. My mouth watered at the thought of eggs and bacon. And coffee… oh, the coffee…

  “Let’s get coffee,” I said.

  “Coffee?”

  “Yeah. Coffee.”

  “You look like you could use some. And more.”

  Andy put his arm around me and pulled me close. I could feel him smelling me. I wondered what I actually smelled like. Alcohol? Tripp? Sex? Maybe a lethal combination of all three.

  “I’m just glad you’re home and safe,” Andy said. “I wanted to come find you last night so bad, Scarlett, but I didn’t. I knew you needed last night. For yourself. To figure things out.”

  I looked at Andy and nodded.

  Why was I studying his face? Why was I analyzing his jaw? His eyes? His glasses? Worse yet… why was I comparing him to Tripp? I thought about Tripp’s tattoos and Andy’s glasses. Such a contrast. Good boy and bad boy.

  My heart wanted to explode.

  Andy turned and I started to move with him.

  “Did you have fun?” Andy asked.

  I laughed. Then I stopped.

  Did I have fun?

  I couldn’t tell Andy about my fun.

  I looked over my shoulder and saw Tripp standing just outside my door. His arms were folded and he leaned against the doorframe. I could barely make out the look on his face.

  It wasn’t good.

  He was hurt.

  I couldn’t keep my eyes off the building as we drove away. I thought about Tripp being upset but then I thought about Tripp being Tripp. Alone in my room. With all my stuff. I hurried for my cell phone and caught Andy peeking.

  “I better text Maggie,” I said, “see how her night went.”

  I regretted the words as they came out.

  What had I just done?

  Did I just tell Andy I wasn’t with Maggie last night?

  “Who were you with?” Andy asked. “I mean, if you don’t mind me asking.”

  “Oh, no, it’s fine. I was just out and about.”

  “You didn’t drive, did you?”

  “No,” I said. “I swear. You know me, Andy, I wouldn’t do something that stupid.”

  It felt horrible saying anything at that point. It all came back to Tripp. But why should it? Why should it matter? I wasn’t with Andy. I wasn’t with Tripp. I was single.

  “Andy, just let it be that I was out. I had a few drinks, made it home, and now I’m hungry and hungover.”

  “Of course,” Andy said.

  He could be persistent and annoying, but not with me. He would look like he wanted to but then he always backed off.

  “What did you do last night?” I asked.

  “Hung out. Studied. Had pre-law meetings and all kinds of stuff. Talked to my father for a little while. He, uh, gave me an offer…”

  “An offer?” I asked.

  Andy nodded. “I’ll tell you when we’re eating.”

  The rest of the ride was in silence. It killed me that Andy had some kind of secret. He never held back from me… well, unless you count the years of being in love with me and not saying anything until now. But, seriously, who’s counting?

  Andy found the closest diner, a little greasy spot actually called The Greasy Spot. It was small and stunk of bacon and coffee. Another place that had been taken over thanks to the college. The ceiling tiles were stained yellow, bringing back days when people were allowed to smoke in public places.

  A young waitress who looked familiar took Andy and I to our seats. I remembered I had to finish texting Maggie.

  Listen. Tripp might be at the apartment, in my bedroom. Don’t ask. Oh yeah - btw - he’s alive - lol

  I turned my attention to Andy as we waited for our food. I went simple, like I wanted. Bacon. Eggs. Coffee. With lots of sugar. Andy hated how much sugar I put in my coffee. He always joked and asked if I wanted coffee with my sugar. It was cute and annoying but now I had to consider him saying that in a relationship. How long could I put up with it? How long could I put up with this? With looking at every little thing and comparing it to a relationship with Andy?

  I snuck a look at Andy while he ate, studying him. Any woman would be lucky to have Andy, including me. Smart, sexy, and a future that wouldn’t be stopped. The kind of guy you could bring home and feel confident about.

  “I have to tell you something,” Andy said.

  “Okay,” I replied as my phone vibrated.

  I assumed it to be Maggie but when I looked, it wasn’t Ma
ggie. It was from a number I didn’t know. But it had a picture I could recognize.

  My room.

  My room in the background.

  A pair of my panties… someone holding them.

  Then the text under the picture.

  Wear these tonight.

  It was Tripp.

  Taking pictures inside my room.

  I wrote back to him - How did you get my number?

  “Scarlett, are you listening?” Andy asked.

  “Yes,” I lied.

  I could hear him saying something but my eyes were stuck to my phone.

  Tripp texted back.

  Turned on your computer and saw your number on a resume. Took a chance. Glad it was the right number. ;)

  I wanted to say something back to Tripp. Something confident, stern, sexy. But I caught something Andy said that stopped the morning in its tracks.

  “… he wants me to move…”

  “Wait a second,” I said, finally looking at Andy. “What did you say?”

  “Scarlett, Christ, put the cell phone down, okay?”

  I threw my phone into my bag and put my hands up, surrendering.

  “Listen,” he said, “my father wants me to work for him.”

  “Work for him? That’s great.”

  “In Maine,” Andy said. “His firm in Maine. He wants me to transfer colleges and start working right away. That way I can get tons of experience while I’m in law school and basically have a job the second I pass the bar.”

  I was speechless. I didn’t even blink.

  Andy was leaving? Moving away? A new college. A new state. A new life. I had a terribly selfish thought when my mind screamed What about me? like some baby kid who didn’t get something they wanted.

  “Andy,” I whispered, “I, I don’t know what to say.”

  Andy sighed. “I was hoping you would tell me not to go.”

  “Of course I don’t want you to go,” I yelled. A few people looked at us. I didn’t care. “Seriously, Andy, do you think I don’t want you here?”

  Andy looked down at his food. “I don’t know what to think right now.”

  “But what am I supposed to say?” I asked. “I don’t want you to leave me. But it’s your entire life, ready to go. You can’t just walk away from that.”