For No Reason (The Camdyn Series Book 4)

by Christina Coryell

  “Gross,” I muttered, smacking my head against the wall of the stall.

  “Don’t tear the wall down, honey,” that voice came again. “I wasn’t kidding. I’ve got nothing over here.”

  “Sorry.” No problem - a few seconds’ delay and I would spring myself from the bathroom stall.

  “This actually reminds me of something that happened to me in an airport once,” she stated, chuckling. “I was having kind of a bad day, where basically everything that could go wrong had, and I was in the restroom just having a pity party. Oh, was I feeling all sorts of sorry for myself! Muttering under my breath, ‘Why did I have to be the one who sat next to the nonstop talker on the connecting flight? Why did the book I was reading have to have a blank page in the middle where the printing press skipped or something? Now I’ll never know why she got on that bus! And why did they have to lose the bag that had my makeup in it, really? Don’t they know I need my concealer?’ It had been a long night, which was why I needed the concealer.”

  “Of course,” I laughed.

  “So I’m right in the middle of throwing a ‘woe-is-me’ party for one, and I just start praying, ‘God, I don’t know why You’re doing this to me. I am out here trying to serve You, and then this stuff has to go and happen to me. Why? I’m Your servant, aren’t I? Things should go well for me when I’m out here trying to spread the good news.’ And then, right in the middle of that prayer, I begin to hear grunting.”

  That sent me into the giggles. Yeah, it was immature, but I couldn’t help it.

  “Now, I’m sitting in that stall, barely breathed out that prayer, and the grunting starts. First, just a tiny one, but then another, and another, seeming more agitated each time. And by now, I’m thinking, ‘Really, God? Really? Because it’s been a pretty disappointing day, and this is the last thing I want right now.’ But that grunting just wouldn’t stop. So, my curious nature gets the better of me, okay? I have to know who’s doing that grunting, because it’s just plain disgusting. ‘Just one little peek,’ I said to myself.”

  “That sounds like a mistake,” I interrupted.

  “Well, hindsight is 20/20, right?” she continued. “I bend down, determined to figure out who is making that horrible noise, and when I get my head to about the same level as my knees, I saw it on the ground. Brown, fuzzy, kind of squishy. An ordinary teddy bear, and right past it, just out of reach, the outstretched fingers of a little girl. I reached my arm down, shoved that bear over, and her little fingers wrapped around his arm. The grunting abruptly stopped, and I felt like a gigantic dummy. And in that moment, it was as though God was saying to me, ‘Would you just stop trying to overanalyze everything? Maybe I had all those things happen to you so you would be in that restroom hiding, because that little girl was going to need someone to push the bear.’”

  “Wow,” I whispered, a little stunned.

  “I don’t know what that had to do with anything, and it sure doesn’t help with the toilet paper situation.”

  Laughing, I rose to exit the stall. “Well, I appreciate your story. It made the wait less boring. They should let you speak at the conference tonight.”

  Standing at the sink and washing my hands, my fellow occupier emerged from her own stall, a pretty, petite blonde woman with green eyes and a bright white smile. “I guess they’ll still let me speak,” she laughed, sticking her own hands into an adjacent sink. “Eve Morgan. I would shake your hand, but I’d just throw water all over you at the moment.”

  “Oh,” I stuttered, giving her an awkward smile. “I’m Camdyn Taylor Parker, otherwise known as the one with her foot in her mouth.”

  “Honey, if we had to introduce ourselves that way, I’d just tattoo a shoe on my face,” she laughed.

  “Getting a face tattoo would probably preclude you from participating in conferences,” I joked.

  “Or maybe open some new doors,” she added with a smile. “Camdyn, I’m so glad to meet you. And in the bathroom, no less, it’s perfect.”

  “It’s been enlightening,” I laughed. “I’ll never hear a restroom grunt the same way again.”

  “That’s great,” she beamed. “Listen, I’d love to stay and chat, but that Laurel will be hunting me down. You find me later though, okay? I’m dying to get to know you. I cheered out loud when you were on The Tilly Show. Seriously, jumping up and down. I’m a fan, Camdyn.”

  “I’m honestly flattered,” I assured her as she exited the restroom. The instant she left, I leaned against the wall until I could stop the giggles.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  In retrospect, it probably would have been a good idea to hang out in that restroom for a while, since I knew people would be looking for Eve, but as usual, I didn’t think things through. Emerging into the hallway, I was immediately in a throng of people vying for attention, and I shirked back against the wall. As though they had all been waiting to get a glimpse of the disaster waiting to happen, I became the center of the action.

  “Camdyn Taylor,” I heard spoken several times, while face after face turned in my direction. Then, I felt a warm hand grasp my arm, and I nearly jumped out of my skin. Turning, I stared with surprise into the eyes of a beautiful woman roughly my own age, with hair the color of Cole’s eyes and a twinkle in her smile.

  “Come on,” she implored. “I’ll sneak you around the side.”

  Unable to see an escape through the crowd, I turned to follow her, popping through side doors and into corridors. “How do you know where you’re going?” I asked.

  “Oh, I’m a volunteer here,” she assured me with a smile. “Don’t worry about a thing – I know exactly where they had you set up. I’ve already brought some drinks to your room, and Lex had me put some food in there for you.”

  “Wow,” I breathed as she pushed open the door to the room I had been using earlier. “You would have had me lost in a heartbeat. Thank you so much!”

  “No problem. Can I get you anything?”

  Taking in the six different types of drinks, four different sandwiches, and basket of fruit, I shook my head. “This is great. No, I don’t need anything.”

  “Aren’t you going to watch the conference?” She leaned against the wall across from me, and I sat down next to my laptop.

  “I doubt it. I’ve got way too much work to do.”

  “I figured that’s why you didn’t want any of those reporters bothering you earlier,” she said, sitting down in a chair.

  “Maybe someday I’ll have something useful to say, and then I’ll talk to them,” I added with a laugh.

  “You don’t think you have anything useful to say? I’m sure they wouldn’t have asked you to be the speaker tomorrow if they thought that was the case.”

  She had an easy, friendly nature, that girl who worked at the church, and instantly I thought about what Eve had said in the restroom. Maybe she was there at just the right time like Eve in the airport restroom, so I could unwind and get my creative juices flowing for my speech.

  “They probably have expectations for me,” I began, “but I’m not sure I’ll live up to them.”

  “But you’re always so funny on television,” she stated.

  “That’s the thing,” I said, biting into an apple and not even bothering to stop talking with my mouth full. “It’s a fluke. Everything I do is a complete accident. Practically televised miracles, if you want to know the truth.”

  “That can’t be true,” she protested with a slight laugh. “I’ve seen you on the set with Jamie Price, and he just thinks the world of you. And that bit he said about you and your baby – that was really sweet of him.”

  “Yeah,” I agreed, sobering a little. “He sent me flowers after that. I think he’s actually a pretty nice guy.”

  “Do you mind if I have a bottle of water?” she asked. I shook my head, and she opened it before she spoke again. “It was so weird, the way you had that fake body suit on, and then Jamie said you weren’t pregnant anymore.”

  Laughing quietly, I
bit the inside of my cheek gently. “It was supposed to be funny, and I guess it was, for a while. I would have never expected things to happen the way they did.”

  Her gaze turned sober, and she gave me a sad smile. “People are so cruel,” she began. “I’ve heard some of them saying you made the whole thing up. That you were never really pregnant. Some think the whole thing was a publicity stunt, beginning with the throwing up while you were with Trent Bauer. They think you’re a fraud. In fact, I’ve even heard people say that you’re not the one who writes the books – that you’re just an actress hired by Fairmont Publishing. You’ve got to admit, from the outside looking in, it looks pretty strange.”

  “I guess I’ve never really thought about it.”

  “You didn’t really look pregnant when that blog posted that picture of you with your doctor.” She widened her eyes a bit, and I couldn’t help but grimace.

  “You really seem to know a lot about me,” I said hesitantly.

  “Of course,” she brightened. “We’re all huge fans around here. I didn’t know I would bump into you in the hall, or I would have brought my book in for you to sign.”

  “Well, maybe later,” I said dismissively, taking another bite of my apple.

  “Do you know what you’re speaking about tomorrow night?”

  “No,” I stated quickly. She seemed shocked, and she leaned forward a little.

  “What do you mean? They haven’t given you the speech yet?”

  Laughing, I rolled my eyes. “I only wish they’d give me a speech! I have to write my own.”

  “Well, why haven’t you written it yet? It seems to me that a bestselling author like you could have a speech done in nothing flat.”

  “It’s not as simple as that,” I stated. “Writing a fiction work is taking me out of myself, pretending to be someone else. Giving someone something worthwhile as Camdyn Taylor is a little more difficult.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I don’t know what I have to offer anyone,” I sighed. “I’m here in this huge church, and they think I have words of wisdom, or hilarious stories, or some kind of insight into pop culture or the media. The truth is, though, I don’t have anything figured out. Lately, I’ve barely been able to pick myself up off the floor most days. I’m not even sure who I’m supposed to be.”

  “But you know you’re supposed to be Camdyn Taylor.”

  Her statement struck me as odd, and I wrinkled my nose as I pondered an answer.

  “Well, I know I am Camdyn Taylor, like it or not. I’ve just got to figure out what that means.”

  “That’s fascinating,” she stated with a smile. “Really fascinating. Well, I better get out of your way so you can get your writing done. It was really nice to meet you.”

  “Oh, you too,” I stated, trying to be polite. I stood and held out my hand. “What did you say your name was?”

  “It’s Harley,” she answered simply. “Good luck tomorrow.”

  She stepped over to the door, gave me a slight wave, and was gone as quickly as she appeared. Mere seconds later, there was a knock at the door, followed by Lex’s face peeking inside the room.

  “Camdyn, what are you doing?” he asked with frustration. “I thought you said you weren’t talking to reporters.”

  “I’m not,” I stated emphatically. “Please, don’t let any of them near me. Thank God for that church volunteer who snuck me out the back way.”

  “The church volunteer? That was Harley Laine from Channel Six Action News. She’s been hounding me all day trying to get to you.”

  With my hand on my forehead, I swallowed past the lump in my throat and shook my head as I gave a slight laugh.

  “Oh, that’s just perfect,” I blurted. “Here I am sitting and waiting for the teddy bear moment, and I manage to get a big brown pile instead. Thank you, Eve, for convincing me to let my guard down. I should have known.”

  “Eve Morgan? What does she have to do with this?”

  “Absolutely nothing.” Throwing my apple core across the room, I managed to bank it off the trash can just enough that it came bouncing back toward me, like Eve daring me to eat the fruit.

  Guess what, Eve? I don’t want it. Share it with the snake.

  -§-

  The past two days had offered me a bit of a reprieve from feeling sorry for myself with the travel to Louisville and Cole being back in my presence, but with one foul swoop Harley Laine had brought my sorrow back upon me with a vengeance. It had been easy to imagine a great crowd of people deciding I was an imbecile, or laughing at my inability to give a proper speech, or complaining afterwards that I hadn’t met their expectations, but it had never even crossed my mind that they might think I was an actress. I would have never dreamed that people suspected that Fairmont Publishing paid me to feign goofiness for the bump in sales.

  And worst of all, that my Annabel Lee had been nothing but a fraudulent attempt to gain publicity.

  Trembling, I allowed Lex to lead me to the side of the auditorium where Eve was giving her pep talk, discussing Moses leading people into the wilderness and then the subsequent forty years of wandering. She was eloquent, I had to give her that, but I was too keyed up to really listen. After about thirty minutes, I excused myself and went back to that room to stare at my laptop once again.

  The corner of a slip of paper stuck noticeably out of my purse, and I pulled it slowly toward me. Why I had tossed Rosalie’s crumpled note from the door the day before into my purse as I dashed out of the house I wasn’t sure, but there it sat, staring me in the face. If you are going to be used by God…

  Fighting annoyance, I balled it up and held it in my fist.

  No matter what I was feeling at the moment, I had to make something appear on that laptop screen. If I didn’t, Harley Laine and everyone else who believed those horrible lies about me would be proven right. Drawn back to that paper, I attempted to straighten it back out and studied it, reading the words over and over again.

  In the depths of my heart, all I wanted to do was slink back to Tennessee with Cole and try to put our lives back together. That didn’t include any interest in publicity for my books, or in propelling my career. It certainly didn’t involve trying to help other women through whatever Rosalie had tried to impart on her note.

  Wadding it into a clump again, I flung it across the room and into the trash can. The last thing I needed was a distraction from my purpose, which was finding a way out of the grief that was holding me hostage at the moment. If Cole had been with me he would have given Harley a piece of his mind and assured me that people didn’t believe those awful lies, but Lex had banished him to who knew where. Even if I went looking for him, I would have likely only fumbled around bumping into other reporters who could have made things worse.

  Feeling truly alone, I stood up and moved across the room, dropping to my knees in front of the garbage. With shaking fingers, I took the note out, smoothed it across my thigh, and allowed a tear to roll down my cheek. Whatever the answer might have been, something kept drawing me to those words.

  If God is going to use someone…

  Dropping my face to the ground, through a sheen of tears, I prayed from the depths of my heart in a way that I hadn’t in a very long time.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  “Where is it? Come on, I need to see it or I’m going to be driven insane.”

  Laughing, I shook my head at the thought of Lex accosting me the second we stepped foot inside the church. “Lex, there’s nothing to see. It’s all up here.” Pointing to my brain and smirking at him, I was afraid for a second that he was going to stop breathing.

  “Camdyn, you can’t go up there without a speech, are you crazy? That’s not how normal people do things.”

  Placing my hands on my hips, I gave him the condescending look he normally reserved for me. “Lex, I don’t know where you get off calling me names, but I don’t appreciate it. If you’re not going to treat me with respect, then I don’t know if we can continue wor
king together.”

  “What?” he stammered. “Camdyn, I didn’t call you anything.”

  “Oh, yes you did,” I clarified. “You called me normal, Lex. Normal.”

  “So that’s the angle you’re going with?” He breathed slightly easier, letting out a sigh.

  Giving him a huge grin, I placed my hands on his shoulders. “Lex, these people are here because they want to see the person who was behind C.W. Oliver. Well, I’m not a person who would write speeches. I’m the kind of person who just shows up and hopes for the best. I might trip down the stairs, and I might have moments when my brain temporarily freezes. You know what? I’m okay with that.”

  “It just doesn’t seem like a good idea, being so out of control,” Lex complained, following me as I started down the hall.

  “Look at it this way…” I paused, stopping to direct my eyes at his. “I’m fairly confident that I’m not going to vomit. Most likely no one will hit on my husband while I’m onstage. I don’t have to worry about people running horrible viral videos in the background. And, I won’t be forced to play ad lib karaoke. This is the most control I have had over a situation in ages.”

  As soon as he acknowledged my point with a grin, I started walking again, and he was quick to inform me that he would alert Laurel to my arrival. Pushing open the door to my private room, I was alerted to a petite blonde approaching by way of a charming southern accent.

  “There she is!” Eve sang, strolling toward me. “I was looking for you last night, sweetie, but couldn’t find you anywhere.”

  “That’s because I was having an argument with myself,” I stated simply. “I lost, in case you’re wondering.”

  “Girlfriend, I love your sense of humor,” she informed me with a quick laugh, shaking her head. “No worries – I had a long chat with your husband instead. Here he comes now – hey there, Cole.”

  “Good afternoon, Eve,” he stated gallantly. “Your baggage, Mrs. Parker.” Sweeping past me, he hung my garment bag on the back of the door.