Eve motioned him forward, and he slowly climbed the steps toward me, looking completely at ease. When he had nearly reached me, he stopped and looked out at the crowd. “In case you didn’t catch the connection, I’m Cole Parker,” he informed them.
“Did you have a question, Mr. Parker?” Eve teased.
“I do, actually.” Rather than turn toward me, he continued to look at those unfamiliar faces. “First, though, I’d like to say something. Earlier this year, I fell in love with Camdyn Taylor. Hard. ‘Asking her to marry me after three weeks’ hard. ‘Willing to chase her around the world’ hard. She was amazing, but it couldn’t last.” He paused just enough to make the audience gasp, and I wanted to throw something at him. “The reason it couldn’t last was because she became Camdyn Parker. I had no idea about the amount of passion that resided in this woman to do something when she set her mind on it. I didn’t know how large her capacity to forgive was. I didn’t know the depths of her heart. She has made me believe in myself, and dare to imagine a future that I had long ago dismissed. So, Camdyn, you have to allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.”
Laughing, I shook my head at his obvious rip-off of the Darcy quote. He certainly knew what he was doing, going Pride and Prejudice in front of such a large group of women.
“But I…,” he began anew, turning his gaze to me, “…I didn’t hold up my end of the bargain. When I stood next to you at our wedding and recited my vows, I told you I would be your biggest fan, I would always try to protect you, and I would never leave you alone.” He chuckled a bit as he displayed a wide smile. “As much as the ladies in this audience might not believe it’s true, I am your biggest fan, and I always will be. That’s not even difficult for me – it just comes naturally.
“The rest of my vow, though… Well, I’ve already screwed up. When I realized I couldn’t protect you in the way that I wanted, I allowed you to walk through some of your darkest moments alone. I hurt you in the worst possible way, and you graciously forgave me, but you’ve never heard my heart.” Lowering himself to one knee, he looked up at me as I placed a protective hand against my neck, as though that could keep my emotions at bay.
“This is my question, Camdyn: Will you allow me to start over? I meant the vows I spoke to you, and I have every intention of keeping them, if you will give me another chance.”
There was a vague recollection somewhere deep inside me that we were still in front of an audience, and the fact that I could hear some cheering and audible sighing shouldn’t have been easy to dismiss, but in that moment, I noticed none of it. The only thing I saw was the man I loved, kneeling in front of me, holding out his heart. As I looked intently at those dark brown eyes, the only thing I recognized in front of me was my future.
“Yes,” I breathed. “The answer’s yes, but you really didn’t need to say any of that, Cole.” As he rose to his feet, I placed my hand in his and drew it up to my chest, holding it tightly. “You had me at ‘hello.’”
-§-
A lot of women stayed to meet me after the conference, and I remained as long as I could, shaking hands and listening to tearful stories, sharing a bond with so many who had been through situations similar to mine. Some asked for autographs. Some wanted pictures with me. One woman had the audacity to hand me a note for Cole.
I shared hugs with Rosalie and Liz, witnessed Rachel jump up and down while pregnant, and listened to a tearful apology from Sara. Rita placed her forehead against mine and stood there quietly for a moment while she cried, and then she backed away with a slight smile. That little core group that represented my new life began to turn to leave, but Rita’s eyes lingered on mine the longest.
“Hey, maybe next week you can teach me the cannoli recipe,” I suggested.
“Or we could start with something simpler,” she agreed with a laugh.
“Whatever you think is best, Mom.” Cole placed his arm around me, and she smiled as she turned to walk away.
When the evening was over, and we were sitting on the bed in our hotel room, Cole stretched his arm around me and pulled me against his chest, resting his cheek near my temple.
“Well, they loved you, Camdyn,” he stated softly.
“You too,” I joked. “Oh, I almost forgot, one of your adoring fans passed me a love note.” Sliding my hand into my pocket, I jerked it out and waved it in front of him obnoxiously.
“What does it say?” He laughed, tensing slightly. Rather than open it, I handed it to him. He rolled his eyes teasingly as he flipped it open, and then I felt his arm go stiff around me. Straightening a little, he continued reading without the taunting or gloating I expected. When he withdrew his arm and turned away from me on the bed, continuing to read with his elbow on his knee and a hand pressed against his forehead, my mind started concocting all sorts of sordid things that woman might have written to my husband.
He finished reading and held the letter by his knees, remaining in that bent position, until I began to wonder if it was something disparaging about me. For some reason, the face of Harley Laine swam into my vision, saying that some people thought I was a fraud.
“Cole,” I whispered, placing my hand on his shoulder. With a slight shake of his head, he reached across his body and held the letter towards me. Gently pulling it away from his fingers, I looked down at the white sheet of notebook paper.
Cole,
My name is Beth Little. You might not remember me, but we were in college together. I was in two of your business courses, and you once copied my homework. If I am being honest, I believed myself to be in love with you.
I doubt if you remember the business classes, but I think you might remember me for another reason. I was at several parties that you attended with your baseball friends – admittedly for no other reason than to find myself close to you. I’m sure you remember one particular meeting, when I informed you that I was pregnant. I recall it well – you laughed and told me that I should go find the father.
I also believe you remember the next time we met after that, a couple months later, when you found me in the courtyard and told me you wanted to help with the baby. I had been cruel to you, because I wanted to hurt you the way you had hurt me.
I’ve always regretted my actions. I wanted to tell you so, but you left school so suddenly, and the baseball coaches said they had no way to contact you. You have crossed my mind many times since then, and when I saw you and your wife on The Tilly Show, I finally thought I had a way to contact you. I have considered emailing her through her fan sites or her publishing company, but I wasn’t sure how to broach the subject without causing discord between the two of you. Still, you deserve to know.
The truth is, as much as I might have desired the opposite, there was no baby. There couldn’t have been a baby, because you never touched me. You and I were never even alone together. It was the lie of a young woman who was desperate for you, and I am sorry for it. So very sorry.
Please forgive me,
Beth
Staring at my husband’s back, I was afraid to breathe. He had been through such heartache – years of his life spent thinking about that baby. Now, to find out that none of it was true…
The enormity of his lost time washed over me, and I dropped my head onto Cole’s back, expecting to join in his sadness. To my surprise, he turned around and pulled me into a hug, kissing me on the forehead.
“Cole, I’m sorry,” I whispered.
“Me too,” he stated simply. “I really wish she would have told me in person.”
Not sure how to respond, I simply rested my head against him and allowed him to hold me.
“You know,” he finally continued, “it’s a lot like what you were talking about tonight, Cam. You can obsess over something you don’t understand, or you can choose to walk by faith and fully live your life. I don’t have any regrets.” Pausing, he tightened his arms around me. “The path of my life led me to you, and at the moment, that’s more than enough.”
Cha
pter Twenty-Five
The moist air was unusually mild for a day in March, so Pop and I wandered back to our favorite spot at the back of the woods, where we took our familiar places at the bench – mine sitting atop, and Pop’s resting beneath. We hadn’t been enjoying our walks much lately, since so much had been going on. My first Thanksgiving and Christmas with the Parkers had passed, interspersed with movie casting meetings and screenplay adjustments. In the midst of those moments came one I personally will never forget.
I was sitting on the floor, trying to piece together a toy we’d bought for Charlotte, when Cole stepped into the room holding his cell phone in his hand. His eyes were a mile away, and I glanced up at him, wary of what that look might mean. Completely dazed, he sat on the couch, staring past me.
“Who was that?” I asked nonchalantly, not wanting to betray my eagerness to know what had him so amazed.
“They said yes,” he muttered, finally turning to look at me.
“Yes to what?” Setting down the screwdriver I was holding, I gave him my full attention.
“To me,” he said with a laugh, shaking his head in disbelief. “Spring training. I got in.”
My scream took him by surprise, and when I began jumping up and down in excitement, he hopped up and swung me into his arms, twirling me around in the air.
The memory made me smile and pulled me back to the present. Cole had gone to Florida hoping to prove himself, and I had busied myself between holding things together at home and making the most of my newfound fame. The feedback from my conference had been positive, and there were no unflattering reports from the media, so all had gone well. Jamie Price had insisted upon rescheduling my appearance on his show, and believe it or not, he managed to have me there the same day as Gwen Stefani.
No, I didn’t impersonate her.
And no, she didn’t pretend to vomit.
Otherwise, life had just gone on as one would expect. Sara had her baby after twenty-six long hours of labor, and much to everyone’s surprise, the darling little princess turned out to be a wiry, dark-haired boy. Baxter’s first picture had him styling a tiny mohawk just like Tony, and someone had even snuck a little blue brush-on hair color onto the tips of that little guy’s hair.
Rachel had her baby exactly two weeks later – a little boy they named Duncan. He was almost a carbon copy of Jeff, except for a little birthmark he had behind his left ear, which was almost precisely like his mom’s. Charlotte thought he was a doll – almost literally, in fact. Rachel caught her one day attempting to pick him up so he could attend one of her tea parties.
I’m certain Sara and Rachel had reservations about sharing their special days with me, and I will admit that the pain of loss stung me a couple times, but I couldn’t begrudge them their happiness. In the end, I was asked to be godmother of two pretty great looking little guys who would probably one day ridicule their parents for making such a foolish decision.
On the day my baby should have been due, I was in Florida with Cole. He didn’t want me to be alone, and I was grateful for his concern. Plus, it was pretty darn cool to be hanging out in the same vicinity as my favorite players. (I did not mention that little fact to Cole.) I didn’t really celebrate the day properly until I was back home in Tennessee, and I had planted myself on the bench and talked to Annabel for quite a while.
On this particular day, though, I didn’t feel the need to do anything but be in that space. After all, it was a place that represented my life nearly as thoroughly as any other could. It was where I had come to the decision to give up my pen name, where Cole proposed to me, and where my baby rested in that small box. Looking out into the distance, though, all I saw was hope for the life we were forging on that piece of land.
“I thought I might find you here.” Spinning around in my seat, I saw him approaching. As he reached the bench, he gave me a mind-numbing smile.
“I was just thinking about when you proposed,” I stated, grinning up at him. “You had a beautiful speech all planned out, I’m sure, and I screwed it up by blurting things and not letting you talk.”
“You remember things differently than I do,” he answered, sitting down beside me and stretching his arm across my shoulders.
“What?” I looked over at that handsome face as I twisted my body slightly in his direction. “Please enlighten me on these differences.”
“Well, the way I remember it, I came out here looking for the woman of my dreams with a ring burning a hole in my pocket and her brother’s pleas to give it time still ringing in my mind. My fear was that I would be another name on your list of guys who panicked because he thought you were running away, right after Trey and Peter. And then you said you were in love with me, and after that I was so on top of the world, I don’t even recall how I proposed.”
“It was a slightly incoherent mess,” I teased, at which point he pinched my side. “Relax, I still said yes, didn’t I?”
“You did,” he agreed, hugging me against him.
“So, what’s the news?” I wanted to know. “Is it Florida? Springfield? Come on, tell me where you’re playing ball.”
“They sent me home,” he said calmly. Pushing myself away from him, I looked intently at his face.
“What? They must be crazy. I saw you at practice and you were great - really great.”
“I’m glad you think so,” he said with a sigh. “Save some of that spunk for the ballpark.”
“But you said they sent you home,” I complained, wrinkling my nose.
“They did,” he agreed with a broad smile. “Home, to Tennessee. You’re looking at a Memphis Redbird, baby.”
Laughing, I clamped my hand over my mouth to try to contain my happiness. “That is the best news - seriously, the best news I have heard in so long. I’m so proud of you, and you deserve it.”
“I don’t know about that,” he protested weakly, “but I am glad to be so close to home.”
“It’s perfect,” I breathed, sinking back into his shoulder once again. “You’ll be here for basically everything, and when the big day comes, it will be well after baseball season.”
“Hold up, what big day?” Placing me at arm’s length, he lifted one eyebrow over his oh-so-familiar eyes, holding me captive.
“When the baby comes,” I told him with a smile. “I’m pregnant.”
-§-
Opening day at AutoZone Park proved to be slightly cloudy, but it couldn’t dampen my mood. That day marked the one-year anniversary from the night I found myself lost and alone on a dark gravel road, and I was celebrating it by enjoying America’s pastime with my absolute favorite people – all except one. Even though we were in the same vicinity, we would be having completely different experiences, and I was over the moon excited for my husband.
“Do you want a hot dog?” Charlie asked, breaking my concentration on watching the field.
“A hot dog?” I blurted, glaring at my brother. “Are you serious? I’m so nervous, I’d probably get sick.”
Trina laughed next to me. She had once chided me for wanting to take her son to a baseball game, but this time she was holding him proudly on her lap with a custom-made “Parker” jersey on his little body. Somehow I knew she wouldn’t be shopping on her phone while the game was being played, either.
“Popcorn?” Ted asked, holding his bag out to me. Smiling at my father-in-law, I paused a moment before I grabbed a handful for myself.
“This is a little different than the ball practices back home, huh?” I wondered. “I promise I’ll try not to talk your ear off.”
“You shouldn’t make promises you can’t keep,” Ted stated with a playful wink.
Then, I saw him. He was only running out to the field to catch a few balls and do a few stretches, but it didn’t matter. My heart leapt to my throat as I witnessed the man who had my whole heart trotting out towards second base wearing those white pants with the red belt. Both arms raised up as he stretched them over his head, and then proceeded to pull them behind h
is neck for a deeper extension. Leaning forward in my seat, I bumped Trina’s drink to my left, knocking it to the ground and spilling it under the seats in front of us.
“Camdyn, stop acting all crazy!” Trina ordered, accidentally brushing against the lady in front of me in her haste to pick up her diaper bag. The dark-haired, middle-aged woman turned around to glance at me, and I gave her a sheepish grin.
“Sorry,” I sighed. “That’s my husband out there.” I pointed over her shoulder to the area around second base. “See him? Parker? The total hunk? The very model of perfection in baseball pants?”
“Camdyn!” Trina hissed.
“What?” Leaning back, I resumed my seat in a proper manner. “I’m sorry, Trina, but I’m terribly excited. He’s just so…dreamy…and I’m so…”
“I get it,” Trina stated, widening her eyes.
“I love that man,” I continued. “I really, really, really love that man.”
“We know,” Trina reiterated, clearly annoyed. “You’ve told us that at least six times today. Can you give it a rest?”
“Actually, no. It’s welling up inside me, and I’m about to burst. If I want to, I will tell this entire section that I love that gorgeous man on second base.”
“The guy on second base?” a woman above me wondered, placing her hand on my shoulder. “Who is that? I like him already.”
“Cole Parker,” I answered her matter-of-factly. “He’s my husband.”
“He’s her husband,” the lady disappointedly informed her friend beside her.
“Aw, that’s a little disappointing,” her companion added, letting out a sigh. “For us, I meant. Not for you. Total home run for you.”
“Did you hear that, Trina? Other people are admiring my husband, too.”
Shaking her head, she looked at me in that motherly fashion she employed when she was about to bring me down a notch. “Really, Cammie, that doesn’t seem like something you should be excessively proud of. Ted, maybe we should find seats somewhere else.”
For No Reason (The Camdyn Series Book 4) Page 31