Almost A Duke, Almost My Love (Regency Romance)

by Rebecca Dash

  “All right! You are the most handsome man I have ever seen in the whole United Kingdom. Pleasingly so, in fact.”

  He had a wide grin. “And do not ever forget it.”

  “You are impossible.”

  The two friends rode through the park and enjoyed pleasant conversation. Neither one could stay for long. Alexander had to return to the Home Office, and Rachel had to go back to prepare for dinner. Throughout the ride home, she could not help but be consumed with confusion. The count was wealthy, and all that anyone could ask for in a potential husband, yet she was still unsure about her interest in him. Alexander did not have any prospects, but she always felt like she could be herself in his presence. It was perplexing. Most frustratingly so. She returned home to a flurry of activity.

  Chapter 7

  Rachel walked through her front door, into a whirlwind of chaos. Servants ran around in different directions, straightening up and dusting. The sound of metal pots clanging in the kitchen carried through the house. She hadn’t even gotten the chance to unbutton her riding coat yet. Her mother already hurried towards her.

  “I told the servants to alert me the moment you came back. Is this the very moment?” The marchioness was frantic.

  Rachel’s eyes got wider as she took a step away. “Yes, they did a fine job. Frighteningly so. What is going on?”

  “We are busy making the place presentable.”

  “But these rooms were just cleaned earlier today.”

  “Well, they can never be too presentable, now can they? It is like being pretty or rich.” She touched her daughter’s cheeks with both hands. “More is always better.”

  “Are you feeling all right?”

  The marchioness looked all the way down her daughter’s outfit, then back up again. “I was until right now. What are you wearing? This will never do.”

  “A riding habit. And it does just fine when one is out riding.”

  “Well, I am so glad you returned home early then. Go upstairs this instant and get ready for dinner.”

  “Mother, dinner is not for several hours. Why all the fuss? What is going on?”

  “Lord Esterhaz is coming to dinner tonight. We must get everything ready. The house, the meal, the obstinate daughter. They all must be perfect!”

  “Dinner, here? When did that happen?”

  “Your father felt that after the count took such an interest in you and invited us to dine at Carlton House that we should invite him here…” The marchioness emphasized the word. “Tonight.”

  “You could have given me some notice.” Rachel was getting frantic too.

  “Your father could have given me some! He is a man of bold choices and quick decisions. On the bright side, this will be a much smaller social circle, which will give you an opportunity to show your skills at the pianoforte and in conversation.”

  “But what should I wear? What should I play?”

  “Wear your coral, evening dress.” The marchioness shooed her away. “Go and make yourself ready. I need to oversee the preparations for the count’s arrival.”

  The flowers in the foyer had been removed by then, but Rachel rather wished they had still been blooming and fresh so she could see his reaction to what an unknown admirer had sent. She smiled at the thought, then quickly ascended the staircase. Her mother’s voice followed her up.

  And good gracious, Rachel, do play something German!”

  ***

  A few short hours later, Rachel stood in the drawing room, waiting for the count’s arrival. Her parents invited a few others to join them, and they had already begun turning up. Rachel busied herself with greeting and conversing with their guests so she might steady her nerves. If she could take her mind off seeing the count and making conversation with him, then perhaps it would be possible to remain calm. She did not understand why he made her so anxious, but he did. Rachel was discussing the latest bit of gossip with her mother’s friend, Lady Pinnstock, when the footman announced his arrival. The entire room seemed to grow silent as all eyes turned to her and then to him.

  Lord Esterhaz walked into the drawing room, immediately commanding everyone’s attention. He was such an attractive man, and always so well attired. The eyes of every woman in the room drifted to him. He approached the marquess and marchioness, thanking them warmly for the invitation, then went over to see Lady Rachel. She could feel the scrutiny of the entire room turning towards them, although it would appear to the casual observer that the couple was hardly noticed at all.

  “Good evening,” said Lord Esterhaz. “It is lovely to meet with you again so soon. Your family is kind to extend their hospitality to me.”

  “I am glad you could come, and on such short notice. I find myself surprised that you were able to tear your attention away from the palace. Our small gathering will seem dull compared to life at court, I’m afraid.”

  “I do not believe I could ever find your company dull.”

  Her heart skipped a beat when he spoke to her so graciously. Rachel was amazed that this man, the most handsome man in the prince’s company, found her to be so captivating. Perhaps it was possible that he thought she was attractive enough for more, that maybe there could be a strong romance between them, like storybooks and children’s tales.

  “I did not have the opportunity to fully express how beautiful you looked at dinner the other night,” he said. “I am sure that there were many ladies there who were jealous of your unique allure.”

  Rachel felt color rushing to her cheeks. This man seemed to either make her unsure of what to think or to make her blush. She was embarrassed that he always had a way of getting such reactions from her. She hoped he would not notice her take a deep breath and not have some secret way to detect that her heart beat faster.

  “Lord Esterhaz, I have decided to play something in your honor as our guest this evening. With your permission?”

  “Please. I am looking forward to hearing your selection.”

  Rachel went to the pianoforte, sat down at its bench, and prepared to play. She decided on one of Beethoven’s sonatas and hoped that she could perform it as well as the ladies of Austria might. Looking down, she tried to focus on the white keys of the instrument as her fingers pushed deliberately across them and somber music filled the room. Every time she glanced upward and caught sight of her audience, it made her nervous. The Count of Esterhaz, especially, made her nervous, so she tried hard not to ever look up, even if that meant a less engaging show. Rachel finished playing Beethoven, then decided on a more cheerful, Irish air. Her mother gave her a stern look for that, but she felt that the Irish airs were where her real talent as a musician was. After she finished and got up from the seat, Rachel received applause and compliments.

  “Your playing was exquisite,” said Lord Esterhaz. “No one in Vienna could match your skill.”

  “You are being too kind. I am sure there are many musicians in Vienna that could easily put my playing to shame. Have you ever had the pleasure of meeting Beethoven?”

  “Regrettably, I have not.”

  The conversation in the drawing room droned on around them. Their own exchange did, to her ear, as well. Small talk about music and the selections she played. It was a racket of information that wasn’t necessary. Rachel decided that the time had come. As much as her mother would deplore a direct approach, she would at least get an answer to what had been bothering her for some time. If there was to be anything between them, then she needed to know what his intentions were. And even though she wanted to blurt out her main question, Rachel knew she could best understand the situation by finding out how long he planned to stay in England.

  “Lord Esterhaz, if I may be so bold as to ask you a question?”

  “You may. I am intrigued to find boldness in an English lady as you ladies are so reserved compared to those of my homeland.”

  “I am aware that you are visiting England for the season, as a close friend of His Royal Highness. But after the season is over, what are your pla
ns?”

  “I believe you are asking if I intend to stay here, in your lovely country, or return home. Am I correct?”

  “Yes. I know I have no right to ask such a question, but I felt like it may be important somehow.”

  “And so it is. In truth, I do not know when I will leave. It all depends on several factors, one more important than all the others.”

  His answer was as mysterious as ever. Rachel wondered if she should flatter herself by thinking she was the one factor more important than anything else. She did not have a spare moment to give it more thought than that because dinner was announced. The guests made their way through the great hall and into the dining room. They took their places at the table according to rank and status. With such a small guest list, the meal was far more intimate than it had been at the prince’s home. The courses were served leisurely. It did not escape Rachel’s notice throughout, that everyone was interested in the Count of Esterhaz. He seemed to be the guest of honor.

  Dinner conversation was light and cheerful. There were many questions about the part of Austria that he was from. Everyone seemed most fascinated by what he thought of England. Lord Esterhaz was courteous and answered all inquiries with a smile. Rachel listened intently, realizing that she did not know much about him. She was not trying to get ahead of herself, but depending on what could happen in the future, she may well be the next Countess of Esterhaz. It would be a good match, and one that her mother would approve of, judging by how she treated the count. The marchioness was extremely attentive to her guest, and Rachel could sense the absolute glee. But what of her own feelings on the matter?

  As she ate a delectable piece of lamb, Rachel thought about it for a moment. How did she really feel about him? Lord Esterhaz was handsome and regal, a true match for her rank and the dowry she had. He seemed pleasant enough, but not at first. He well knew that marriages between people of their class had little to do with love and more to do with social position. But is that even what she wanted? Rachel concluded that, if she had to consider the question to this degree, she must not love him. At least, not yet. But was he a man that she could ever grow to love?

  And if she ever developed strong feelings, what would she do about all the advances he seemed to enjoy from women of every rank and age? Rachel knew a woman of society was never supposed to question her husband’s activities outside the home, but was she strong enough to really live that kind of life? From the amount of attention he received, she was confident that there would be quite a lot of the count’s activities she would have to ignore.

  Dessert was being served, and Rachel was lost in her own thoughts again. It seemed to happen more and more. She looked at the count and he looked back from across the table. He smiled. She wanted to ask him about when he wasn’t smiling, the grave look he gave her father at the prince regent’s dinner table. But there was no easy way to bring that up. It felt like those words defined their whole relationship. Was it possible that she had misread him then, or that she always had? It must have been her imagination. Since Lord Esterhaz walked through the door, he had been so cordial, not only to her, but to her family as well.

  As dessert was concluding, the count stood up and spoke.

  “With your permission, Lord Rothward, I would like to raise a glass.”

  “By all means, sir. You have the floor.”

  “My gratitude. First, I want to thank the Marquess and Marchioness of Rothward for inviting me here tonight. I hope it will be the beginning of a long and amicable relationship between our two families. Tonight, I found that the entertainment was wonderful, and dinner, a delight. I have enjoyed the company here this evening and hope I am able to spend many more happy hours with our lovely hostess, Lady Rachel. To the health of the marquess, marchioness and Lady Rachel.”

  Rachel was speechless. All eyes turned towards her as everyone drank a toast in her family’s honor. Her mother was beaming, but her father had a reserved look on his face. Everyone else was smiling, and she smiled too. She thanked the count and dinner was concluded.

  She walked into the drawing room and felt that she may need a moment to collect her thoughts. He wanted to spend many more happy hours with her. Was that a proposal of marriage or the prelude to a proposal? Rachel needed time alone, but feared that was not to be. The moment the ladies were apart from the men, they bombarded her with their questions and congratulations.

  “My darling girl, why did you not tell me it was getting serious between you and Lord Esterhaz?” asked her mother.

  “I do not know. I was unaware it had become serious.”

  “You have made the match of the season!” said Lady Pinnstock. “When word of this gets out, you will be the most envied girl in all of London.”

  “I am so proud of you. What a match.” Her mother came at her again. “Your wedding is sure to be the best news of the entire season.”

  “You have to learn German, of course. I can recommend a tutor,” said Lady Dorshire.

  “If I were you, I would wait until the war ended before I moved to the Continent,” said the Duchess of Malham. “It’s just too dangerous!”

  “He is such a handsome man,” Lady Norwight gushed. “If I were twenty years younger, I would have snatched him up myself!”

  The ladies were all laughing and planning her wedding. Rachel was numb.

  “Do you really think he means to propose?” she said.

  “Don’t be daft,” said her mother. “He would never have expressed such endearing sentiments about our family and you if his intentions were anything less than marriage. It would be scandalous.”

  “Quite right,” added Lady Pinnstock. “Men do not make such declarations at dinner parties unless they mean to back them up. I would say you are as good as engaged!”

  The ladies all agreed that this was the case and went back to planning her nuptials. Rachel went back to agreeing politely and trying to look elated. She did not, in fact, feel elated. She felt overwhelmed and needed to speak with Cordelia as soon as possible. And to Alexander. Marrying the count could well mean never seeing her friends again, especially Alexander. Rachel was overcome with a sudden sense of panic at the thought. She did not want to spend her life without Alexander in it somehow. He had been a dear friend, and she wanted that to remain so. She had never considered what would happen if either one of them became engaged.

  The night was finally coming to an end. As the guests were leaving, Rachel knew she and the count were being watched. He took her hand and kissed the top, as was the custom on the Continent. She blushed. He assured her that he would see her soon and wished her a good evening. After everyone departed, Rachel’s mother hugged her and congratulated her again.

  “My darling girl, tomorrow you will be the talk of society. There will be little said about anyone else. You have made a wonderful match. I am unhappy to see you go so far from home, but I know you are going to love Austria.”

  “Now ladies, let’s not be too hasty,” said the marquess. “He has yet to ask my permission for her hand in marriage. I am well aware that you both must be excited, but I would say that excitement is a bit premature. Rachel, why did you not tell either your mother or myself about the serious nature of your relationship with that man?”

  “I did not know it was serious, father. I give you my word.”

  “I believe you. Now, do not set your expectations too high just yet. I am sure that everything will work out in the end, but try to keep yourself grounded until that time.”

  “How can you say that to her?” The marchioness was vexed with her husband. “You will upset her, and after she has had such good news tonight.”

  “You must understand, I want only your happiness, Rachel. But you need to be practical. Until he proposes, do not plan anything.”

  “I understand, and will be patient,” said Rachel. “Mother, father, I am quite tired. I will retire for the evening. Good night.”

  Her parents wished her good night, and she climbed the stairs to her roo
m. She was exhausted, but not disappointed in the slightest that it had not been a true proposal. Rachel was not entirely sure she wanted one from the count. It was strange that, what she desired so much just a few weeks ago, she hoped to postpone. And who had sent her those lovely flowers? She still wondered about that. Somewhere out there, among her peers, she had a secret admirer. Would she ever find out who that had been? It was all so strange and happening far too fast. How odd her life had become, she thought, as she retired for the evening.

  Chapter 8

  The days that followed were a whirlwind of activity. Word had spread around le beau monde that Lady Rachel was likely going to be the next Countess of Esterhaz. There were more social callers than normal at her home in Mayfair. Her family had always enjoyed an elevated position in society, but this had pushed things to new heights. Callers came by from even the prince regent’s own inner circle. It was overwhelming. The cards collected by the footmen at Rachel’s home represented nearly the entire social register for the season. She had seen nothing like it. Her mother was thrilled.

  As visitors came by throughout the day, the marchioness greeted them graciously and held court. She smiled so much that she glowed. Her daughter was the most successful young lady of the year. Lady Rachel’s expected position as the Countess of Esterhaz was widely thought to be a step up. After all, the count’s family was very close to the Hapsberg family, and they ruled an empire. Rachel found all the attention and pandering to be more than she could bear. On the third straight day, she snuck next door to Cordelia’s, and was pleased to find her closest friend at home.

  Cordelia welcomed her into the drawing room. Rachel was grateful for the peace and quiet of the house as well as better company.

  “I cannot tell you how exasperated I am,” said Rachel. “All of this attention is so overwhelming!”

  “But is this not what you wanted? I thought you would be thrilled to make such a match.”