by Dena Christy
***
Nick made his way to Hadria’s room, his steps lighter than they’d been in days. He’d worked the night shift so he would be finished in time for her discharge from the infirmary. Lee had examined her and pronounced her fit to go home. She wasn’t completely healed, but she’d recovered enough to be able to leave.
Nick discussed his concerns for her with Lee. They both agreed something prevented her from healing as fast as she should. Nick made a mental note to discuss the situation with Cadric, perhaps he had an explanation for it. Lee said Hadria hadn’t been forthcoming about what the problem could be.
“Are you ready to blow this pop stand?” Nick asked as he pushed open the door to Hadria’s room.
He stopped in the doorway, his breath catching in his chest at the sight of her. She sat in front of the window, looking out at the lake. The sun shone in her hair like a golden halo. God, she’s beautiful. If only she would realize how good they would be together.
She turned her head, and a small smile lit up her face when she saw him. Her smile didn’t reach her eyes, and he would give anything to take her troubled look away.
“Are you springing me from here?”
“Yep. Your chariot awaits.” He came forward and took her hand, pulling her up to stand beside him.
“It’s not that I don’t like the accommodations, but it would be nice to get home. I’m looking forward to the peace and quiet.”
“Had a few visitors have you?” Nick kept hold of her hand and walked out of the room with her. He noticed she didn’t try to pull away, and he took that to be a good sign.
“I think every member of the Order whose in town has come to talk to me.”
“A lot of people like you. You sound surprised that they would take the time to come see you.”
“I didn’t realize that most of them did. Since the whole Alex fiasco there’s been quite a bit of talk. I’m just surprised that the other members were concerned about me.”
“You have friends here. Don’t listen to the rumors going around about you and Alex. They aren’t worth listening to.” Nick clamped his mouth shut, not wanting to talk about her former lover. The other wolf was dead, and she hadn’t deserved how he had treated her. If he’d lived, Nick would have made sure he knew it.
They were quiet as they made their way through the tunnels and out the Tower House door. His car was parked in one of the parking lots. He settled her into his car and then he got in and started the engine.
“How are you feeling? Any lightheadedness or pain?” She sat in silence beside him, and he took a quick peek at her. She was staring at his hands like a hungry wolf eyeing a juicy steak. He fought back a grin. So his hands did it for her did they? “Did you hear me?”
Hadria tore her eyes away from him and stared out the passenger side window. She sighed and turned back to him. “You don’t need to play doctor with me Nick. I’m fine.”
There was a beat of silence, and Hadria closed her eyes. A grin tugged at the corner of Nick’s mouth. She knew he couldn’t resist a line like that, and he didn’t disappoint her.
“Maybe I want to play doctor with you.”
She squished her lips in that sexy way she did when she fought back a smile. He lived to make her do that, and he loved it when she lost the battle. She was strong today, and he noticed she sobered quickly.
“Don’t Nick. This isn’t a good idea.” She stared straight ahead.
“What isn’t a good idea? Driving you home? How else do you expect to get there?” Nick put the car in motion as she sighed beside him.
He understood what she meant, but wanted her to spell it out. He wanted to open a discussion with her, to talk about what was going on between them. And he knew she needed to be coaxed into talking about what was on her mind.
“Flirting. You flirting with me is not a good idea,” Hadria said as she glanced over at him, her eyebrows drawing together in a scowl. Nick resisted the urge to take his hand off the wheel so he could smooth the small dent between her eyebrows. After sparing her a brief glance he kept his eye resolutely forward.
“Flirting is a natural response to attraction and is completely healthy. Plus it’s fun, and you can’t have anything against fun, can you?” He took his eyes off the road for a second to turn and wink at her. She was so fun to tease. It was easy to get a rise out of her, always had been.
“I have nothing against fun. I just don’t think you and I should be having too much of it together.”
“Give me one good reason why not?”
“I’m cursed, in case you’ve forgotten.”
That stupid curse again. She seemed determined to beat the subject to death. “I don’t believe in curses, so try again. Why should we fight our attraction for each other?”
“I’m too old for you,” she said, and he swore he saw the corner of her mouth twitch when he glanced at her.
“You don’t look a day over twenty-eight, which would make you younger than me.”
“I’m over a thousand years old, which makes me ancient compared to you.”
“Ooh a cougar. God, you’re turning me on now darlin’. This is sounding better and better. I’ve always wanted to tangle with an older woman.”
Nick heard Hadria blow out a sharp breath. He was walking on thin ice now. Too much teasing and she would lose her temper. Which was a turn on too. Seeing her full of fire and passion did it for him, which told him he was in too deep with this woman. He glanced over at her again and saw that far away expression on her face. The smile disappeared from his face and he no longer wanted to joke. Alex intruded again, even if it was only in her mind.
“Don’t do that,” he said, his voice a low growl.
“Do what?”
“Think about him.” His hands tightened on the steering wheel as he stared out the windshield.
“Do you read minds now? How did you know I was remembering Alex?”
“Because I know you. Your eyes get sad when he’s in your thoughts. And unfortunately you are willing to throw up any barrier you can to deny what you think you can’t have. And what better barrier than him, your curse personified.”
Hadria didn’t say anything. She probably hadn’t realized he read her so well. She should have. They’d been friends for the better part of four years, and he paid attention to everything she said and did. It was the kind of guy he was. Attention to detail was one of his strengths, it’s what made him a good doctor. She should have realized this trait would carry over into his personal life as well.
“Nothing to say?” he asked when the silence in the car got to be too much.
“I’m tired Nick, and I don’t want to argue anymore. I’ve made my opinion on this clear, and I would hope that our friendship means enough for you to respect that.”
Low blow. She knew him pretty well too and her familiarity with him told her exactly what to say to stop him in his tracks. She only did it when she figured he was out of line, and it always worked. He didn’t stop this time. Too much was riding on this discussion just to let it go.
“I have nothing but respect for you. Alex put you through the ringer, and I hate that he did that to you. While you were with him, I kept silent about my desire for you because you weren’t free to do anything about it. I made a promise to myself when I was waiting to find out if you were going to—” his voice cracked for a moment, and he took a deep breath to compose himself. “I promised myself that I would be honest with you about what’s going on inside me if you recovered. I’m attracted to you. I want you. I want to have a chance to explore that. Please don’t deny that you’re attracted to me too because you don’t hide it well at all.”
“You’re right. I’m attracted to you, and it scares the shit out of me. What if it all goes wrong?”
Relief poured through Nick. They were finally getting somewhere. She needed to see what her almost dying had done to him. His vulnerability would show her how much she’d come to mean to him. She was scared, he understood that. Hell,
he was scared too. He’d never felt anything this big for any other woman before and he didn’t want to screw it up. The difference between them was he was willing to take the risk. Her brush with death had shown him that he needed to show her what was in his heart. He only hoped he could help her through her fear.
“What if it goes right?” he asked as he took one hand off the wheel to clasp her hand.
“With my history I can’t even contemplate that. I had so much hope with Alex. It’s why I was blind to what he was like for so long. It would kill me if you turned out to be just like him.”
That’s it. He slowed the car and pulled over to the side of the road. He undid his seatbelt and turned to face her.
“I’m not Alex.” A tight band of anger clamped around his chest, but he didn’t shout. He didn’t want to yell at her. “Alex was a self-centered prick before you hooked up with him. He would have betrayed the Order with or without being with you. I’m not like him and I’ll never be like him. If you were my woman betraying you would never cross my mind.
Hadria examined her hands resting in her lap, and wouldn’t meet his eyes. He watched the swift rise and fall of her chest, and for a moment almost stopped pushing her. She’d been through a lot in the past few days, but he couldn’t put an end to this discussion. She would only build her emotional wall stronger and higher. He doubted he would ever be able to break through it if he didn’t grasp this moment. He undid her seat belt. His finger rested against the bottom of her chin as he raised her head, gazing deep into her eyes.
“Listen to me. I’m not him,” he whispered as he pressed his lips against her cheek, slowly moving over her skin until he reached her ear. “I’m not him.”
Her breath sobbed out of her chest, and she clamped her eyes shut. He could see the struggle in her face, but thankfully she didn’t pull away. Her head fell forward, and she rested her forehead against his shoulder. He closed his eyes when he realized she was softly crying against him. He wrapped his arms around her and held her as she cried. She needed this, and if he could offer her comfort he would gladly give it to her. It killed him to hear her cry, especially with the awareness that he’d brought this to a head.
After a few minutes she pulled back and swiped her hands against her eyes. He let her go and turned back to face the front of the car.
“I’m sorry,” he said as he pulled his seatbelt back on and waited for her to do the same.
“For what?” She sounded surprised, but he owed her that apology for what he’d just done.
“For putting too much pressure on you. You’ve just come through a rough ordeal and the last thing you need is for me to try to get you to take this relationship further then you’re ready for. I can wait for you.”
“What if I’m never ready?”
Nick turned his head and forced a smile on his lips. “Let’s just take it one day at a time.”
Hadria nodded and rested her head against the seat and closed her eyes. He started the car and pulled back onto the road.
It didn’t take much longer to reach Hadria’s home, and he pulled into her driveway. He shut off the car and got out to walk around to her side. He helped her out before opening up the trunk and pulling out a duffle bag. Her eyes darted to the bag as her eyebrows drew together.
“What’s that for?”
“Didn’t I tell you? Until you are fully recovered, we’re roommates.” He whistled softly under his breath as he walked toward her front door. He didn’t turn to look back at her as he waited for her. She would slug him if she could see the satisfaction written all over his face.
Chapter Three
Roommates? Christ, she could hardly resist him during a ten minute car ride. How was she going to fight her attraction for him if he was going to be living in her house?
“You aren’t funny,” she said as she pulled her keys out of her purse and unlocked her front door.
“I’m not intending to be funny. You need someone to look after you while you recover.”
“If my recovery is in jeopardy, don’t you think they would have kept me at Headquarters?”
“You never know. You might have a relapse,” he said as he shrugged and lifted his open hands up to his side. “Just so you know I have a very good mouth to mouth technique.”
Oh brother. She rolled her eyes, grateful for his good mood. A teasing Nick was easier to handle than the tender, serious man he’d been in the car a few minutes ago. “I’m sure you do, but I don’t think they taught you to use your tongue in medical school.”
“Whatever works to get your heart pumping darlin’.” He gave her a wink and a grin, and she couldn’t resist laughing. He always knew just what to say to get her out of her low moods.
“I’ll show you to the guest room,” she said as she walked down the hall and led him to her spare room. She didn’t get a lot of guests, but sometimes Samara stayed over. He threw his duffle bag on the bed and turned to look at her, the teasing light still in his eyes. His standing beside the bed gave her ideas she didn’t want to contemplate. She turned a little too fast and her head swam for a moment. She swayed on her feet and in seconds Nick’s sure, steady hands cupped her elbow.
“Okay, you’ve had enough for one day.” All signs of teasing were gone from his face. She couldn’t reply as she fought the dizziness. He scooped her up easily in his arms and left the guest room. She rested her head against his chest, the smell of his freshly laundered shirt tempting her to bury her nose in the fabric. It was a good thing she was so weak, or the firm arms and strong chest muscles pressed against her would coax her in to doing something about the longing he stirred in her.
He walked the short distance down the hall to her room and laid her gently on the bed. Thankfully the dizziness had dissipated as soon as she was on her back. He sat beside her on the edge of the bed, his gaze intent as if he was searching for any sign that she might pass out.
“I’m fine Nick. Just tired.”
He brushed her hair away from her face and moved his hand down to her cheek. She rested against his palm and closed her eyes.
“Go ahead and sleep for a while. I’ll make you something to eat later if you’re feeling up to it.”
“You don’t have to wait on me. I’m capable of looking after myself.” Tiredness melted her bones into the mattress, and she hoped he wouldn’t require her to prove her independence.
“Let me take care of you,” he said, his voice low as he slipped his hand out from under her and her eyes opened. He took the fleece blanket folded at the bottom of her bed and covered her with it, tucking it around her. She closed her eyes again and felt the press of his lips against her forehead. “Get some sleep.”
She heard his feet make a soft scuffing sound on the carpet. The bedroom door made a soft click when he closed it behind him. She had always had an independent streak, but realized it was nice to be taken care of once in a while.
Exhaustion weighed heavily on her, and she realized how far she still had to go to a full recovery. She was surprised that Lee had allowed her to be released from the infirmary. That must have been Nick’s doing and was also the reason he was staying with her. He would have guessed she would be missing her home, and in all likelihood talked Lee into letting her out. She smiled as she felt herself drifting on the edge of sleep. Typical Nick. He was the best friend she’d ever had, and if it wasn’t for that goddamn curse, she would have progressed past friendship a long time ago. Turning her thoughts away from the past and the future, she concentrated on the here and now as she quietly drifted off to sleep.
***
Hadria breathed a sigh of relief when Nick finally left for work. His staying here in her house stretched her nerves to the breaking point. Relief from the attraction burning inside her came when he went to work. He’d been here for two days and showed no signs of leaving. She felt she’d recovered enough, but he said she needed a couple more days of his particular brand of loving care. His bedside manner was comprised of long looks, flirting,
and small touches, and it drove her crazy.
“How’s your new roomie working out for you?” Samara asked. She grinned and waggled her eyebrows, her enjoyment of Hadria’s predicament obvious.
Samara came over to visit her every day, arriving a few moments before Nick left for the day. The first visit surprised Hadria, but now she suspected Samara and Nick thought she needed a babysitter.
“I’ll be happier when he goes back to his place.”
“Why, aren’t you two getting along?” Samara got up when the kettle whistled and made them both a cup of tea. Hadria smiled gratefully from her seat at the kitchen table when Samara set a mug of Earl Grey in front of her.
“We’re getting along just fine.” She blew on her tea and took a sip. How could she explain the havoc living with Nick brought to her well ordered life?
“So why do you want him to leave?”
“Do you know how hard it is to be attracted to someone when you can’t do anything about it?”
“You’re preaching to the converted, honey. When Eric and I first met, he had a ridiculous rule that we weren’t going to have sex with each other. It was hard wanting him so much, but it eventually worked out.” Samara laughed as she ran her hand down her still flat belly.
“Your situation with Eric was different from mine with Nick. At least you didn’t have a curse to contend with.”
“True, but I was responsible for his brother’s disappearance, a fact which I hid from him. I lied to him. My fear of losing him stopped me from being honest, and I did lose him for a brief time. Thank God he came to his senses and realized he couldn’t live without me.” Samara smiled and took a sip of her tea. “Would it be so bad, getting together with Nick?”
“I’ve told you before, I can’t risk it. It would destroy his life in addition to mine. You know what happens to any wolf involved with me, they betray me in the worst possible way and then they die. Ever single wolf I’ve been involved with dies in the end. I couldn’t live with myself if that happened to Nick.”