by Dena Christy
“Nick is the most loyal man I know. The other ones you were involved with didn’t have the same integrity that Nick has. Let’s face it, Alex was the poster child for disloyal self-centered douchebags.”
Hadria didn’t want to talk about Alex or Nick for that matter. Samara’s attention would not leave the subject unless Hadria came up with a suitable diversion. “My curse and Nick isn’t the only problem right now. I have another worry.”
“What is it?” Samara leaned forward in her seat. Hadria drew in a deep breath, not sure where she should begin.
“I’m sure you’re curious about why I’m not healing as fast as I should,” she said, and she took a sip of her tea, buying time to gather her scattered thoughts.
“I had wondered. There is a cause for it, isn’t there?” Samara said.
“Yes. I’ve been away from Valhalla too long. My powers are eroding. My night vision went first, and now my ability to heal quickly is going away.”
Concern drew Samara’s eyebrows together as she put her hand on Hadria’s arm. “Did you know this would happen?”
“No. I was one of the first Valkyrie to leave and Odin wasn’t sure what would happen to me. He thought it might be a possibility.” Hadria ran her finger around the rim of her mug. Odin had been clear in his warning, but she had not heeded it. When she first left she was so hungry for change she thought herself invincible. Years of living on earth, hunting down the worst monsters in existence had proven she wasn’t.
“So what does it mean exactly?”
“It means I’m slowly becoming human, or something close to human I suppose. While it’s not the most horrible thing to happen to me, it will make my work with the Order impossible.”
“So what can we do to fix it?”
“I can go back to Valhalla.” Hadria could think of nothing else to do, and by broaching the subject with her daughter she was hoping to get an idea of how Samara felt about it.
Samara shook her head. “Besides that.”
“There isn’t a cure for this, Samara. I wish there were.”
“So you become almost human. You could still live a full life. There are plenty of things you can do with the Order that don’t require field work. You and Nick could be together, and I’m sure you wouldn’t miss going out on missions all the time.”
“It’s not about field work. My curse makes it impossible to be with Nick, and if I can’t be with the Order there is nothing really holding me here.”
Hurt flashed across Samara’s face. “What about me? I still need you.”
“You have Eric and soon you’ll have your baby. You won’t need me as much as you used to.” Hadria realized she wasn’t explaining herself well, but how could she express that she felt like life was moving on without her. Samara had her own life and Eric was the person she relied on for support. It was how it should be but it left Hadria feeling at loose ends. She’d failed at every romantic relationship she’d ever had, and she didn’t want to risk her heart anymore. Her daughter was becoming independent of her, and now it looked like the work she enjoyed would be taken from her. What was left?
“You know what,” she said, pushing her mouth into a smile. “Don’t listen to me. Since the shooting I guess I’ve had to face my mortality, and it’s got me a little down. I’ll be fine. I’m glad you have Eric in your life, and I’m looking forward to having a grandchild.”
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Samara reached out to touch her arm, and Hadria avoided her hand. If Samara touched her she would be able to read her emotions. She didn’t want Samara to know she was a long way from fine.
“I’m tired. Do you mind if we cut this visit short so I can sleep?”
“Hadria, you’ve been sleeping for days. Haven’t you had enough sleep yet?”
“I didn’t get much rest last night, and I could use a nap. Besides, didn’t you and Eric want to go shopping for some baby things?”
“We did, but if you need me to stay with you I can. Maybe I should call Nick if you aren’t feeling well.”
Since Nick was part of the problem, calling him certainly wouldn’t help her. Hadria took a deep breath hoping to calm the tension rising inside her. “There isn’t any need to disturb him at work.”
“Hadria I really don’t think—”
“Can you just leave! I haven’t had any time to myself since the shooting. Between you and Nick I’m with someone constantly. I just want some time for myself. Is that too much to ask?” Hadria reached up to pinch the bridge of her nose. That had come out harsher than she intended.
“Of course. I’ll just get out of your way.” Samara grabbed her purse and headed out the door.
Hadria sat on the sofa, sighing as she relaxed back into the cushions. She loved Samara but she was glad she was gone. Now she didn’t have to pretend everything was fine.
She sat like that for a few minutes, before getting up off the sofa. There was something she needed to check, and if she remembered correctly it was in her bedroom. She walked into her bedroom and opened the closet door. High up on the shelf was a small wooden box. She pulled it down, cradling it in her hands as she sat on the bed. Slowly opening it she pulled out a silver necklace with a large onyx pendant and cradled it on her lap. Odin had given it to her on the day she left Valhalla. It was her last link to her old life, and she’d never once used it or looked at it during her entire time on earth. Closing her fingers around it, she felt the warm energy of the pendant pulse in her hand.
She closed her eyes, wanting to call forth the strength to use it, to take her back. That would be the easiest thing for her to do. Go back to Valhalla and put her curse and her heartache behind her. She pictured Valhalla in her mind and the pendant grew hot. Startled she dropped it back into her lap. Her Order tattoo tingled, and as she rubbed it, it reminded her that she was still bound by her oath to serve the Order. Until she was released from her bond, she wouldn’t be going back to Asgard.
Chapter Four
Hadria stood outside Cadric’s office and took a deep breath. Today was her first day back on duty, and hopefully if Cadric agreed to release her from her bond, it would be her last. She raised her hand and knocked on the door. Cadric’s deep voice came from the other side of the door and bid her to enter. She turned the knob and entered his office, closing the door behind her.
“Have a seat.” Cadric stood as she walked in and waited until she sat in the chair across from his desk before resuming his seat. “How are you feeling? No ill affects from your ordeal I hope?”
“I’m feeling much better now,” Hadria said as she licked her lips. She needed to say the right words to broach the subject she needed to talk to him about. She respected Cadric and loved working for the Order. She didn’t want him to think she wasn’t happy working with him. She just needed to be released from her oath so she could go back to Valhalla. She wanted to put her time here behind her. She was positive once she returned to Asgard, all the betrayals and heartache she’d experienced here on Earth would disappear.
“Good. I have a new assignment for you. It’s a little different from what you’re used to, but it will be the most important assignment you’ve ever had.”
“About that, Cadric. I actually wanted to talk to you about releasing me from my oath.”
Utter silence followed her words, and Cadric looked at her, the smile disappearing from his face.
“Release you from your oath? I think you’d better tell me what’s going on.”
“I’ve been with the Order for a long time. I’ve loved every minute of my work here, but it’s time for me to move on. I’d like to go back to Valhalla.”
“Has something happened? Has someone said or done something to make you want to leave?”
“It’s nothing anyone has said or done. It’s just time I was moving on.”
“Why don’t you be honest with me? Tell me why you want to be released from your oath.”
Hadria should have known that this wouldn’t be easy. Cadric wouldn’t
release her from her oath simply because she asked him to. She shifted in her seat as she gathered her thoughts.
“To be perfectly honest, I’m becoming a liability to the Order. The incident at Horn’s compound should be a perfect example of that.”
“You were ambushed. It could have happened to any of our agents. I’m surprised actually that it hadn’t happened to you before now.”
“Cadric, I’ve been away from Valhalla for too long. My powers are fading and I don’t know how much longer they are going to hold out. I’m healing much slower now, and who knows when my ability to shift into raven or wolf form will go too. I can’t go out on a mission not knowing if I’m going to be able to do my job. Not only does it put me at risk, but anyone I’m paired with as well. Please release me from my oath.”
“Does this have anything to do with what happened to Alex?”
“I just told you why I want to be released.”
“And you know as well as I do that you’re waning powers can be accommodated here. Now I’ll ask you again, does this have anything to do with Alex?”
Cadric leveled her a probing stare and Hadria couldn’t hold back what she was feeling, what she hadn’t expressed to anyone else before.
“It’s my fault that Alex betrayed the Order. If it wasn’t for my curse, it would never have happened. I’m a liability to you and I can’t continue.”
“I’m going to say this once. Curse or no curse, it was Alex’s decision to betray the Order, not yours. I’m going to tell you something that no one else knows. The reason Alex was recruited was because of his ties to James Horn, and I was hoping to take advantage of that. We’d been watching James for a long time, and I could see that there could be problems with him at some point during the future.”
“So with Alex you were hoping to have an inside man?”
“Yes. Obviously his ties to James were a lot stronger than I had anticipated. So if it was anyone’s fault that Alex betrayed the Order it was mine.”
Hadria didn’t think that Cadric would deliberately lie to her, and it was obvious he believed what he was saying. She couldn't help but feel that if Alex hadn’t been involved with her, his loyalty to the Order would never have broken. It was her curse that tipped the scales.
“Does this mean that you aren’t going to release me from my oath?” Hadria had a feeling that this was what this little chat was leading up to. Cadric may be her friend, but she knew with him that the Order always came first.
“I’m afraid at this time that I cannot release you. As I said, I want you on Dark Wolf, and until that is done I cannot let you go. Perhaps once it’s finished we’ll discuss it again. Until then, I don’t want to hear anymore about you going to Valhalla. And if I’m completely honest, I hope that once you get over how things went with Alex, and once Samara has her baby, you’ll want to stay”
Hadria’s shoulders sagged, and she slouched in her chair. She looked at Cadric and could see the regret in his eyes. It did little to make her feel any better.
“Have you talked to Samara about this? I’m sure she’d have something to say about you leaving her, especially now.”
“No, I haven’t talked to her about it yet. I wanted to talk to you first. I didn’t want to tell her unless I knew it was going to be a sure thing. I’m sure you’re right, I’ll get over this Alex thing and I’ll be better in no time.” Hadria forced a smile on her face, and looked Cadric in the eye. “Is there anything else we need to discuss before I get to work?”
Cadric was silent for a moment, looking at her with a serious expression, and for a moment Hadria thought he would call her out on her fake cheerfulness. He gave a small shake of his head, before turning his attention to the paperwork on his desk.
“I think that’s everything. Just try to settle back in the best you can, and don’t push yourself too hard at first.”
Hadria stood and turned toward the door. Cadric cleared his throat behind her and she looked back at him.
“Can you find Nick and tell him I want to see him?” he said absently as he marked something down on the piece of paper in front of him.
“Sure,” she said as she walked out of Cadric’s office and closed the door behind her. A frown knotted her forehead as she wondered what Cadric could possibly want with Nick.
She walked down to the infirmary, and made her way to Nick’s office. She knocked on the door jam, and Nick looked up from his work, and a lazy smile spread across his face when he saw her.
“Well hello darlin’,” he said as he beckoned her inside his office. She stepped inside the room, and she let out a slow breath to calm the nervous flutter of her stomach. She mentally kicked herself for being so foolish. Nick was her best friend and it’s not like he’d never smiled at her before. “What brings you here? Do you want to sneak off and play hooky?”
“Considering I just met with Cadric and told him that I’m ready to work again, I don’t think us playing hooky would go over well. Besides, he wants to see you.”
Nick frowned for a moment. “Do you know what it’s about?”
“Haven’t got a clue, but you better get down to his office. You know how he doesn’t like to be kept waiting.”
Nick stood and walked around his desk toward her. Hadria turned quickly and went towards the door. She felt his hand on the small of her back, the heat of it spreading through her body. She stepped sideways and his hand slid away. She turned to him with a bright smile pasted on her face.
“I have to get to work, so I’ll see you later.” Hadria didn’t wait for him to respond before she turned away and with quick strides made her way toward the stairwell that led up to the fourth floor where her office was located. She took a quick glance back and saw Nick standing outside his office, looking at her with a frown on his face. She raised her hand to wave, and he turned on his heel and went in the opposite direction. She slowly lowered her hand as she went into the stairwell.
***
Nick blew out a frustrated breath as he walked down the hall toward Cadric’s office. He had himself tied up in knots over Hadria again, and she was making it abundantly clear that she wanted him to keep his distance. He’d hoped she would be relaxed around him now that they were spending more time together. His close proximity was having the opposite affect on her, and he could see her becoming increasingly tense as each day passed. Perhaps he should cut his losses and just leave her alone.
Nick attempted to relax and smooth out the tension in his face by putting Hadria out of his mind for now. They appeared to be at a stalemate and focusing on it wouldn’t do him any good. He raised his hand to knock on Cadric’s door, and entered his boss’ office when he gained permission.
“Close the door behind you and sit down,” Cadric said with a scowl as he shoved the papers in front of him to one side.
Nick shut the door, and sat in the chair directly across from Cadric’s desk. “Hadria said you wanted to see me, but she didn’t know what it was about.”
“She doesn’t know because I want to talk to you about her.”
Alarm shot through Nick and he sat up straighter in the chair. “What’s wrong with her? Has Lee told you something that he hasn’t told me? I was pretty sure that she was getting much better, but if there is something wrong with her I want to know what it is right now.”
“Physically she’s fine, at least for now. She wants to leave the Order,” Cadric said.
Nick’s racing thoughts halted when Cadric’s words penetrated his mind. “She wants to leave the Order? You mean like retire? I would think that would be something that she would have every right to do. I’m sure you don’t want to lose her, but I don’t really understand why you’re telling me.”
“She thinks she’s losing her powers and she wants to go back to Valhalla. We can’t let her do that.”
Nick frowned as he tried to determine what was behind Cadric’s urgency. He knew his boss’ every waking moment was devoted to the Order, but surely he could understand someone wanting t
o move on from it.
“What exactly is it that you’re trying to tell me?”
“If Hadria goes to Valhalla she won’t be coming back, Nick. She’ll go there to die.”
Nick leaned back against the chair and closed his eyes. He didn’t know what to think, what to say. Hadria was the most important person in the world to him, and the thought of her leaving, of her dying, was completely abhorrent to him.
Cadric must have read the emotions crossing his face, for he nodded his head “Alex’s betrayal was the final straw for her, and I think she’s given up. She’s using her fading powers to convince herself that she would be of no use to the Order. Do you see now why we have to convince her to stay? I told her I want her on the Dark Wolf case, so we have some time, but she needs to stay.”
“Are her powers really fading?”
“Unfortunately they are. But she has a number of years before they are gone completely and she could still be an important member of the Order without them. Field work will eventually be out of the question, but someone with her experience can do a whole host of other things here.”
“What exactly do you want me to do?”
“Whatever you can to convince her to stay. You have feelings for her, don’t you? Why don’t you act on them?”
It took a moment for Nick to wrap his head around what Cadric was saying, and once he realized exactly what his boss wanted him to do, a slow anger burned in his belly.
“Are you suggesting that I sleep with Hadria to get her to stay with the Order? Are you seriously suggesting that I use her that way to compel her to stay?”
Cadric drew himself back in his seat, and Nick could see the muscles in his face tighten.
“I am not at all suggesting that you sleep with her. I’m suggesting that you give her a reason to want to stay. Right now Hadria is laboring under the mistaken belief that she is cursed, and that her relationship with Alex is what caused him to fuck us all over. There have been a lot of changes in her life. Samara has Eric and soon a new baby, which I’m sure Hadria is happy about, but I also think she’s feeling pushed out of Samara’s life a little. And now her powers are fading, and she feels she’s losing her place here as well. She’s reaching the end of her rope, and she needs you right now. I’m not blind Nick, I know you feel something for her. She needs you more than ever right now. All I’m suggesting is that you be there for her, and tell her how you feel.”