by Dena Christy
“I’m sorry for assuming the worst. I’ll be there for her for sure, but I can’t guarantee that it’s going to do any good. She’s convinced that her curse will turn me against her and she is keeping me at a distance.”
“Keep trying. I’ve known her for a long time, and I don’t want to see her give up on herself. And I don’t think you want that either.”
Nick shook his head and stood. “I’ll do what I can. Is there anything else you need from me?”
“No, you can get back to work.” Cadric turned away from Nick to focus on his computer and Nick walked out the office door. As he made his way back to his office in the infirmary, he mulled over what Cadric had said. He couldn’t imagine his life without Hadria, and his heart ached that she felt so low. A part of him wished she’d opened up about what she was thinking of doing. Alex had really done a number on her, and for a moment Nick wished he was still alive so he could kick the other wolf’s ass. Unfortunately Hadria was so focused on her curse, that she couldn’t see that Alex had been a treacherous asshole before they’d gotten together. Nick was sure he wasn’t the first wolf to betray Hadria, but he would definitely be the last. Now all he had to do was convince her of that. He had his work cut out for him, but she was worth any hurdle he had to overcome.
Nick walked into his office and reached for his phone as he sat behind his desk. He punched in Hadria’s number and waited for her to come on the line.
“Do you want to come out to my place for dinner tonight?” he asked after she’d answered. He realized he’d caught her off guard, since there was a perceptible pause on the other end of the line.
“Why don’t we have dinner at my place like usual?”
“I packed all my stuff this morning, so I won’t be going back to your place tonight. You’re well enough to go back to work, so you don’t need me to babysit you anymore.” Nick had realized this morning that being in close proximity to Hadria and not being able to do much about it was wreaking havoc with his sanity. Besides, he needed to keep Hadria off balance so she wouldn’t keep building her emotional walls against him. “I’m sure you’ll be glad to get me out of your hair.”
Again she hesitated over the line. “Well, it will be nice to have my space back. And dinner sounds nice.”
“Great. Do you want me to give you a lift out there?”
“No, I can drive myself. I’ll want to go home and change before I go out.”
“Okay, I’ll see you later tonight then,” Nick said. He put the receiver down. He grinned to himself as he tried to focus on his work. How much he would get done was anyone’s guess, since he knew he was going to spend the rest of the day watching the clock.
Chapter Five
Hadria walked into her house and slammed the front door behind her. Alex’s ugliness had reared its head again.
They’d cracked the laptop she’d found at Horn’s compound, and she analyzed the emails on it. Cadric wanted information on the wolves injected with the formula, and the location of the missing women. Details on those things were scant. The laptop contained mountains of information about the Order and its members. Hadria’s name came up more than any other. Alex had featured her in most of the emails, and reading through them, Hadria realized how little he’d cared for her. He put in details of her curse and made her into a joke.
She dropped her purse on the floor and went into her bedroom to change. She picked up her cell phone to call Nick, tempted to cancel their dinner plans. Nick would insist on knowing why, and she didn’t want to share her humiliation with him. She’d go for a while, plead exhaustion and come home.
She went to the closet, searching for something to wear to Nick’s house. Flicking through the clothes, she spied one of Alex’s shirts. When she’d learned of his betrayal she’d purged everything belonging to him from her house, but she’d missed this one. It had been his favorite shirt, and it mocked her, sitting in her closet next to her things.
She walked quickly from the room and went into the kitchen, hunting for a pair of scissors. With them clutched in her hand, she strode back to her bedroom. She ripped the shirt from the hanger and stared at it. The scent of the shirt hit her nostrils, smelling so much like Alex that nausea clawed at her stomach. With the scissors she sliced through the shirt, cutting and tearing at the fabric until it lay in tatters at her feet. She laughed as she looked at Alex’s favorite shirt. If she was into symbolism, then the shirt personified her pride, shredded and tattered at her feet.
She sat on the bed, her mind whirling. Her pride hurt more than anything. Alex had attracted her at first, and God knows she’d enjoyed the sex with him. But as she thought about it, all they’d shared was the physical, and although she’d known his body well, she’d not known him on a deeper level. She gathered up the torn strips of fabric and left her room.
She banished Alex from her mind as she dumped the remains of his shirt in the garbage. Her doorbell rang, and thankful for the distraction she closed the lid on the garbage can.
She pulled her front door open, surprised to see Samara standing on the other side.
“Hey baby girl. Come on in. You’re lucky you caught me, I’m heading out to Nick’s place soon.”
Samara came into the house, her face subdued. Hadria remembered the last time they spoke, and she owed her an apology.
“Listen honey, I’m sorry for the way I acted the other day. I’ve been frustrated with my situation and feeling sorry for myself. I took it out on you and shouldn’t have.”
Samara turned to her and hugged her. “I’m so glad you aren’t mad at me. I know you think you’re being pushed out of my life, and if I ever made you feel that way I’m sorry. You are the closest thing to a mother I have and I’ll always need you.”
Hadria put her arms around her daughter and squeezed her eyes shut tight. She needed to hear that. Her powers were fading and her job would change, but she had a good life here, with people who cared about her. She didn’t know if she was ready to give that up. Thankfully she didn’t have to make that choice right now.
Samara drew away and walked into the living room. “So how was your first day back at work?”
“Shitty,” Hadria said as she slumped down on the couch.
“What happened?” Samara perched on the sofa and curled her legs up under herself, a concerned frown wrinkling her brow. “Hadria you’ve only just recovered from a shooting and major surgery. Are you sure you’re ready to go back to work?”
“When I was at Horn’s compound we found a laptop and we’ve managed to crack it. On it were a bunch of emails and to make a long story short I’ve seen in black and white exactly how little Alex respected me. Most of them were pretty humiliating, and I’d rather not go in to details.” Hadria’s voice was steady and matter of fact as she talked to Samara. She was quite proud that she didn’t feel gutted anymore. Perhaps destroying his shirt had been therapeutic.
“I’m so glad I killed that bastard. How could he do that to you?”
“He didn’t love me Samara, he probably never did. That’s why he could betray me so easily. The funny thing is, I didn’t love him either. He was more like a comfortable pair of shoes, ones I could slip on when it suited me but could forget about whenever I wanted.”
“I’m glad you finally realized what I knew all along,” Samara said, her expression smug.
Hadria’s eyes widened. How the hell had Samara known that she didn’t love Alex? “You knew I didn’t love him? I didn’t even realize it until a few minutes ago.”
“Hadria, I know you and I can read you like a book. I knew your emotions were not engaged. I think it was your way of protecting yourself. You believe in this curse so much, that you didn’t want to love Alex, and besides your heart was engaged elsewhere, even when you were with him.”
“Why didn’t you say anything?”
“Would you have believed me?”
Hadria considered it for a moment. She was stuck so far in denial about her lack of feelings for Alex, anyt
hing Samara had said wouldn’t convince her otherwise.
“You’re right. Maybe I’m fooling myself about Nick too.”
“Oh no,” Samara said as she shook her head. “Those feelings are real and what’s more, unlike Alex, Nick has feelings for you. The man goes to see chick flicks with you. If that isn’t a sign of devotion, I don’t know what is.”
Hadria laughed. She’d certainly dragged Nick to enough movies, ones she had known he would hate, and he hadn’t said a word of complaint.
“So what do I do? About Nick?”
“Just go to his house and stop throwing your walls up. Nick would never hurt you. Deep down I think you know that.” Samara reached out and put her hand on top of Hadria’s. Hadria turned her hand so her palm faced up and she squeezed her daughter’s hand.
“I’m afraid to let him in. What if the worst happens?” Hadria bit her lip and looked at Samara. She wanted to believe in Nick. Alex’s betrayal of the Order had hurt and humiliated her, and she believed her curse had tipped the scales for his doing what he’d done. If Nick did the same thing, it would destroy her.
“You can’t spend your life being afraid. If you don’t take a chance, nothing is going to happen. But nothing is a pretty lonely place, and besides what if something wonderful happens? What if you find a man who will love you for the rest of your life, who will never betray you? You can trust Nick. I wouldn’t be telling you this if I didn’t believe it was true.”
The tightness in Hadria’s chest eased. Samara was right. She knew Nick, and he’d never done anything to hurt her, and deep down she didn’t believe he ever would. Whether he was strong enough to resist her curse remained to be seen, but she wanted to believe it was possible.
“I should get going over to Nick’s place. He’s making dinner for me, and I don’t want to make him wait too long.”
Hadria stood and Samara got off the couch and hugged her. “Good luck. You’re doing the right thing. Nick would be so good for you. You deserve to be happy after all you’ve been through. Let yourself be happy.”
“I’ll try. Thanks Samara.”
“Hey what are daughters for.” Samara kissed her on the cheek and made her way out of the house.
Hadria returned to her room and pulled something to wear out of her closet. She put a hand to her stomach, trying to calm the butterflies who’d taken up residence there. It was now or never. She was going to stop fighting her attraction for Nick. She only hoped it was the right choice.
***
Nick pulled into his driveway, excitement thrumming under his skin. He wanted Hadria and she was worth fighting for. By the end of the night she’d know it too. He shut off the engine, and just sat looking at his home. What did she think of it? She’d been out here before, but had never said. It was different from her cute cookie cutter house in the suburbs. The sun painted the rustic log structure he lived in with a golden glow as it filtered through the trees surrounding his property. The perfect house for a wolf. Privacy and the ability to take off running in the woods was what he needed in a home, but what did Hadria need?
He walked into the house and went to the kitchen. When he’d made his impromptu invitation he hadn’t really given any thought to what they’d eat. He spied some stew in the freezer and pulled it out. It wouldn’t take long to heat up, and the simple fare would give a casual tone to the evening. He didn’t want to scare Hadria off, and a fancy meal would send up red flags for her.
He glanced at the clock wondering if he should go for a run before she got there. He needed to do something to dial down the energy bouncing around inside him, and a run would help him relax.
He reached for the top button of his shirt when he heard a car pull up in the driveway. He lowered his hands and walked toward his front door.
Hadria stood on the other side, and Nick’s breath caught when she smiled up at him. He took a step back while she entered the house. “Dinner won’t be ready for a bit. I just got home a little while ago.”
“What’s for dinner?” Hadria asked as she toed off her shoes.
“Some stew I threw together. I can make something else if you’d rather.” Nick clamped his mouth shut before he started babbling.
“No stew sounds good. Is there anything I can do to help?” Hadria said as she walked into the kitchen and over to the stove to give the stew a stir.
“No, I got everything covered. To be honest, I was hoping to go for a run while we wait. If you don’t mind that is.” Her presence made his restlessness grow, and he needed to go for that run.
“Do you want some company? I need some exercise after being so inactive lately.”
Nick blinked, not knowing what to say. There was a definite change in her behavior since the last time he’d seen her. She was acting like she used to before the whole Alex fiasco, as if she wanted to spend time with him. She wasn’t pushing him away, and tempted as he was to let her go with him, he knew she wouldn't be able to keep up.
“I don’t run in human form, Hadria.”
“I know. I wasn’t planning on running in human form either.”
She could transform into a raven and Nick thought maybe she would fly beside with him in that form. “Well, come on if you’re coming.”
“I’ll wait for you outside.” She turned the heat down low on the stove, and quickly walked past him, going out the back door. Nick frowned for a moment. Maybe she wasn’t comfortable watching him shift. He did have to get naked to do it, and he was sure to the casual observer it looked as painful as it felt. He shrugged. Whatever made her more comfortable. He took off his clothes, closed his eyes and braced himself for the pain.
It ripped through him as his limbs shortened. Arching his back, his spine compressed and he could feel his face elongate into his wolf form. He was used to the pain and had learned a long time ago not to fight it, to ride with it until his change was complete.
Once he was in his wolf form he shook himself and padded to the back door. Nudging it open with his snout, he walked down the steps, breathing in the crisp fall air. He loved being in this form. It was freeing and he could forget everything that was going on with his life and just embrace the run. He looked around for Hadria, but didn’t see any ravens anywhere. He caught her scent on the wind and followed it into the woods.
He drew up short when he saw another wolf there waiting for him. It had golden fur, and its eyes were an icy shade of blue. The wolf yipped in greeting and as he cautiously approached, he caught her scent and realized it was Hadria.
She came forward, licked his face and gave him a playful nip before taking off into the woods. With a howl of joy, Nick took off after her.
He followed the bright golden flag of her tail deeper into the woods. She was fast, but he was faster, and before long he caught up with her. Contentment settled inside him as his paws rhythmically hit the ground, the wind blew through his fur and Hadria’s scent settled in his nostrils. They ran together for a long time before turning back toward the house.
Nick watched as Hadria transformed in a bright sparkle of golden magic. God she was magnificent. If he’d been attracted to her before, then he was doubly so now. It had never bothered him that she wasn’t a werewolf, he wanted her for who she was. But now seeing her in wolf form ignited something primal inside him. He needed to claim her. But how to convince her that they would be good together?
“Well come on if you’re coming.” She held the back door open for him and he trotted inside. She went to the stove, to focus on their dinner while he changed back into his human form. He pulled on his jeans, not bothering with the top button. Excitement burned through his veins.
“Why didn’t you tell me you could change into wolf form?” Not once in all the years he’d known her had she ever given any indication that she could turn into a wolf.
“It never came up in conversation. You did know that Valkyrie’s are shape shifters didn’t you?”
“Yeah, but I thought you’re form was a raven.”
“It
is, but I can also change into a wolf.”
She still had her back to him so he couldn’t see her face and read her expression. He really wanted to know what she was thinking and why she had chosen now to show him her wolf side.
“Why now?” he asked as he took a step toward her. He had a feeling her changing into a wolf in front of him indicated some change in her attitude, but he couldn’t figure out what.
“Why now what?”
“Why change into a wolf with me now?”
She sighed and set down the spoon she’d used to stir the stew. She reached out, shut off the stove and turned around to face him. Her eyes widened slightly when she took in the sight of his body, bared above the waist. He resisted the urge to puff out his chest when he caught the spark of interest in her eyes.
“I wanted to show you everything. I know you know me better than anyone else, but I wanted to show you something you didn’t know. And I thought it would be fun if we ran together. We haven’t had too much fun together lately.”
“So what made you decide this now? When I was at your house, you were adamant about keeping your distance.”
She took a deep breath. “I’m tired of being afraid of what I feel for you. I want to give this thing between you and me a chance to grow.”
For a moment Nick didn’t say anything as he felt a surge of pure elation course through his body. The moment he had wanted to happen, had waited for, thought about and anticipated for four long years was finally here. His mouth went dry. Christ, talk about pressure. He wanted her so bad that his hands were shaking now that he knew she was willing to explore a relationship with him. What if it wasn’t good between them? What if all the build up and anticipation didn’t bring fireworks?