by E. L. Todd
“Toby, get back here.”
He left the bar.
She groaned then chased after him. When she walked out the doors, he was leaning against a tree, looking cocky as usual.
“I’m glad you decided to join me.” He grabbed her hand pulled her up the sidewalk.
“Knock it off,” she said. She jerked her hand away.
Toby put his hands in his pockets and walked forward.
“I’m trying to talk to you.”
Toby started whistling.
“You’re so fucking annoying.”
“Like you aren’t,” he snapped.
“Then don’t talk to me anymore.”
“I wish,” he said. “Believe me, I thought about it many times.”
They argued the entire way to his apartment. Abby was growing more irritated with each passing moment. At one point, she threatened to punch him in the jaw again.
When he walked into the apartment, he locked the door then dragged her to his bedroom.
“Toby, no.”
He pushed her on the bed then pulled his clothes off in a flash.
“What the hell are you doing?”
“You don’t get to spend a week in London with Fernan, fucking all over the place, and then come here and make a life-changing decision. Not until I get my two cents in.”
“Sleeping with you won’t change anything.”
He dropped his boxers then crawled on top of her. She was fully clothed but forget about that as soon as he moved on top of her. His chiseled physique and tight muscles made her lose her focus.
Toby pressed his mouth against hers and kissed her passionately, making her moan automatically. She succumbed to her desire for him and wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling him to her.
He pulled her underwear down then lifted up her dress. He ripped a foil packet then covered his cock with the latex.
Her mind returned and she realized what she was doing. “No.”
“Yes.”
“Toby, I said no.”
He leaned over her, his tip rubbing against her. “You really want me to stop?”
His question hung in the air.
“I didn’t think so.” He slipped inside her, immediately stretching her.
His control over her made her slip away. He dominated her, taking charge of the bedroom. His unrelenting determination made the liquid pour between her legs. She couldn’t describe it. It just happened.
Toby moved into her hard and fast. He pushed her against the headboard then thrust his hips, making the wood slam into the wall repeatedly. Abby gripped the back of his neck then rocked from below. They both moved as fast as they could, using each other to reach their goal. Sweat dripped down her body but that didn’t stop her. She wanted Toby, wanted as much as she could get.
“Fuck me,” she said between breaths. “God, yes.”
Toby grabbed her ass and slammed into her harder. “With pleasure.”
Abby felt the fire between her legs. “Right there…”
He grabbed the back of her neck and moved quickly. “Come on, baby.”
She looked into his face as the orgasm started. Her eyes closed as she rode her high.
“Look at me,” he commanded.
She obeyed him.
“I want to watch you come. And I want you to know who’s making you come.”
His words just made her hotter.
“Now fucking scream my name, Abby.”
“Toby…”
“I said scream.”
“Toby!”
He grabbed her and fucked her as hard as he could. “Scream.”
“TOBY!” She gripped him tightly as the orgasm reached a crescendo and started to fade.
“There you go.” He took a few extra breaths before he released himself inside her. “Abby…yeah.”
When they were finished, their bodies were still together. He didn’t move from on top of her. The sweat from their bodies clung together. Where Abby ended, Toby began. He caught his breath while he stared down at her.
“Have you ever fucked anyone like that before?”
She pulled her hair out of her face. “No.”
“Neither have I.” He pulled out then disposed the condom.
Abby lay back on the bed, trying to stop the room from spinning. Toby lay beside her, his hand resting on her thigh. They were too hot to cuddle.
“Now tell me he’s the best you’ve had,” he said.
She breathed heavily but didn’t speak.
“That’s what I thought.”
She was too exhausted to argue. But she didn’t have a good argument anyway.
When the temperature of their bodies returned to normal, Toby hooked his arm around her waist and rested his face in the crook of her neck. His chest rested against her shoulder, and his foot touched hers.
“Did you see any good art?” he asked.
“A lot, actually.”
“Did you buy anything?”
“No, it’s too complicated to ship out. But Fernan bought a few things.”
He kissed her neck gently. “My life was pretty boring without you. I went to the market but didn’t see any paintings I liked.”
“You went alone?” she asked.
“Yeah,” he said. “And I trained alone. Not the same without you.”
“It was probably easier, more convenient,” she said with a laugh.
“I don’t like easy or convenient,” he whispered. His hand moved across her stomach, touching her gently.
She sat up. “I should go…”
“You just got here.”
“Even so.” She pulled on her clothes. Toby didn’t reach for his. He remained naked on the bed. Even when he was limp, he was still big. She fixed her hair then moved toward the entryway. He followed her and crossed his arms over his chest.
“Now can we have our conversation?” she asked.
“He and I are even now.”
“There’s no competition.”
He shook his head. “But there is.”
She crossed her arms over her chest and looked at the ground. “I’ve been…”
“Look at me when you talk to me. Not the ground. Me.” The annoyance in his voice was unmistakable.
She looked up.
“There you go.”
“As I was saying,” she said in a dark tone. “I’ve been thinking. I can’t keep juggling the two of you. I feel guilty for having two men in my life, even if you know about each other. I know it hurts both of you.”
“I couldn’t agree more.”
“So I know I need to choose someone. But there’s one problem.”
“What?”
“I’m not ready to be serious with anyone, as I said from the beginning. And the best option I have is to stop seeing both of you.”
He raised an eyebrow. “What?”
“I don’t want to have a physical relationship with either of you. But when I do put myself back together, I…I want to be with Fernan.”
Toby’s eyes widened. The dark color of his irises became more prominent. Without speaking, he conveyed just how much that statement hurt. His arms were still crossed over his chest but his muscles were tighter. His jaw was clenched, and his breathing had increased. “That makes no fucking sense.”
“Fernan and I have more in common. We both love and appreciate art. And he’s gentle with me, patient. If I don’t want to talk about something, he drops it. If I don’t want to do something, he backs off. He just understands me better. You are completely the opposite. All we ever do is argue, and when we aren’t arguing we’re about to. We share absolutely no commonalities. Nothing between us makes any sense. And you make me uncomfortable when you push me. I hate feeling vulnerable like that. And your Paul’s brother. That will always be a rift between Alexandra and I. I can’t be with someone that’s related to her ex.”
He held up his hand. “Shut up.”
She stilled at his command.
“That’s the dumbest reason
I’ve ever heard. Just because Paul is my brother doesn’t mean it will affect our relationship. I have no problem with Alex and I don’t mind seeing her. I’ve never had a problem with that. The only one with a problem is her. And she should make it work if you love me and want to be with me. Alex isn’t selfish, so I’m shocked she would say something like that. So don’t use that as a fucking excuse.”
Abby looked at the ground. “It doesn’t change everything else.”
“Abby, you’re an idiot.”
She sighed. “That’s exactly what I’m talking about.”
“You know why we argue?” He stared her down, his eyes breathing fire. “Because we care. We bicker and fight because we’re both equally passionate. We aren’t stone statues like Fernan, where we can just brush everything off. When we want something, we fight for it. You’re misinterpreting all of that. The first time we met, I was defening Paul and you were defending your sister. Neither one of us were going to back down, which we shouldn’t. So we make perfect sense.
“And it also means we’re extremely passionate toward each other. Our chemistry is unusual and explosive. I’ve never felt that way toward another person. And call me crazy, but I like arguing with you. I’m not normally a confrontational or argumentative guy, but my mouth won’t stop when I’m with you. I like being around you. I don’t ever want to stop being around you.
“And how can you fuck me like that and not want more? Maybe Fernan only makes love to you, but trust me, that will get old really quick. Fucking is even more meaningful when two people love each other. You can go places you’ve never gone because you trust each other. I’ll make love to you every night for the rest of our lives, but I will definitely fuck your brains out too.” He stepped closer to her, his arms by his sides. “Fernan lets you run away from your problems, but a real partner doesn’t do that. He babies you, and that’s never going to happen with me. I don’t care if you’re uncomfortable or don’t want to talk about something. You will face your fears and you will overcome them. You know why? Because I give a shit about you. Fernan doesn’t. He just wants to do whatever he can to keep you around. I’m not like that. I will always put you first.” He grabbed her shoulders and squeezed them. “You’re wrong about everything, Abby. Fernan isn’t the right guy for you. It’s me. It’s always been me.” He pulled her to him and rested his forehead against hers. “If you want to take this slow so you can work on fixing yourself, I accept that and encourage it. But you aren’t seeing Fernan anymore. Just me.”
Abby felt the confusion sink in. His words left her at a stop with infinite paths. She breathed in his scent while they stood in his kitchen. The smell of sweat still hung in the air. “I’m sorry…”
“It’s okay.” He kissed her forehead. “We’ll work through this.”
“I already told Fernan that I chose him.”
“So?” Toby snapped. “Tell him you changed your mind. Or have me do it.”
She pulled away. “I’m sorry…”
“You’re sorry?” Anger poured into his features. “You still choose him?”
She averted her gaze and nodded.
“Look at me when you break my heart.” His voice sliced through the air. “When you execute a man, you hold his gaze. This is no different, Abby.”
She felt her tears bubble to the surface.
“Before you say it, consider this. When you walk out of my apartment, that’s it. We’re done. I won’t chase you, I won’t look after you, and I won’t care about you—not in the way I do now. I’ll move on without looking back and I’ll never bother you again. I’ll be just a friend, but never anything more. When you leave, I’m going to disappear. The man you fell in love with will be gone and you’ll never be able to get him back.”
The words stung. Every time she took a deep breath, it burned.
“So make sure you know exactly what you want before you walk out that door.”
She ran her fingers through her hair in agitation. “I don’t know…”
“I do.” He opened the door. “Get out of my apartment. If you want to be with Fernan, fine. Have a boring, lifeless, unreal relationship that doesn’t mean anything. And enjoy your untarnished relationship with your sister.” He stared her down, unflinching.
Abby moved toward the door but she didn’t cross it.
“There’s no going back, Abby.”
She took a deep breath.
Toby put his hand on her lower back and pushed her forward. When she moved into the hallway, she looked back at him. “I hope that made it easier on you.” He slammed the door in her face.
Chapter Eight
“You seem down.” Paul sipped his beer and returned it to the table. He was already on his third bottle.
“I—I’ve been better.”
“What’s up?”
“It’s kinda weird to talk about it with you.”
“Because it’s about Toby?” He picked at the pretzels in the basket and chewed on a few. His fingers were covered in grains of salt.
“Yeah.”
“What happened?”
“We aren’t seeing each other anymore.”
He nodded. “That explains why he’s been in such a bad mood lately.”
“He has?” she asked.
“Yeah. He almost attacked the defendant in his trial the other day.”
She felt her heart race. “What? Why?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess the guy said the wrong thing. Thankfully, the bailiff restrained him. The entre case would have gone out the window if Toby touched him.”
“Wow…”
“What happened?”
“I just ended it and he wasn’t happy about it.”
Paul wiped his fingers with a napkin then drank the rest of his beer. “He really liked you.”
“I know he did. But I made it clear what I wanted out of the relationship. He tried to take control and change it.”
“He probably hoped he could make your relationship serious.”
“Well that didn’t work…” She rested her elbow on the table. She wasn’t in the mood for being polite or pleasant company.
“Did Alex say anything after she saw me?” He ordered another beer from the waitress and tried to play it cool.
“Not really,” she said. “She was more interested in why I was with you.”
“Why does it matter?” he asked.
“Since I told her you were totally fine, I can’t say that’s why I’m spending time with you. So she assumed I was sleeping with you.”
He raised an eyebrow. “And how did that make her feel?”
“She was pissed—obviously. But I convinced her she was out of her mind.”
“So she was jealous?”
Seeing the hope burn in his eyes pained her heart. She knew she had to distinguish it. “No. She was just upset about the sister betrayal. She’s very happy with Blaise, Paul. I’m sorry.”
He gripped his skull. “I wish I could just forget about her.”
“I know…”
“We’re two single losers sitting in a bar—pathetic.”
“Two losers?” She smiled at him. “I only see one.”
He chuckled.
“At least we have each other.”
He clanked his bottle against her wineglass. “I’ll drink to that.” He downed half of it in a single gulp.
Abby noticed the amount he was drinking. It was more than usual. “Paul, I think you’ve had enough.”
“I’m fine.” He shrugged it off. “This is how much I normally drink.”
“Well, it shouldn’t be.”
“I’m fine,” he repeated.
“Paul, I know you’re going through a hard time, but drowning yourself in alcohol isn’t going to help.”
“You’re one to talk,” he said with a laugh.
“I haven’t been drinking much…”
“But you replace it with sex. Face it, we aren’t that different. We’ve both done the exact same things to make ours
elves feel better. But I come off as the bad guy.”
His words collided against her, the truth settling in. “You’re right…”
“I know I am.” He ran his fingers through his hair then slumped over. “Too bad we can’t just hook up and fall in love. We wouldn’t have to hide from each other.”
Abby always thought Paul was attractive but she would never do that to her sister. “That would never happen.”
“Toby would kill me.”
“I doubt he’d care, actually…”
Paul pulled out his wallet and put too much cash on the table. He couldn’t even count. She picked up the fifty and put it back in his wallet. “That’s a fifty, not a five.”
“Oh.”
After they left the bar, the stopped on the sidewalk. Abby didn’t want Paul to walk home alone. He was practically stumbling with every step he took.
“Can I come over?” she asked.
“Sure.” He shrugged.
She hooked her arm through his and walked with him back to his apartment. Paul was quiet on the return, but his breath reeked with alcohol. It was bleeding through his pores and his clothing. Abby breathed through her mouth and ignored it.
When they got inside his living room, Paul fell on the couch. Abby made sure all the windows and doors were locked before she rubbed his back gently.
“I want to die,” he whispered.
Her hand stilled at his words. “Paul, it’ll be okay.”
“No, it won’t.” He sniff escaped his lips.
The agony in his voice broke her heart. She moved onto the couch beside him and held him. “Shh…”
“I had everything and I threw it all away.” He took a deep breath and steadied his emotions. “Now she’s fucking some asshole every night, she’s going to marry him, have his damn kids…fuck.”
“Paul, breathe with me.” She placed his hand on her chest. “Concentrate.”
Paul closed his eyes and tuned his breathing with hers. When they were in sync, his emotion passed. He cuddled beside her on the couch, his hold tight. Abby knew she’d be sleeping there tonight.
She interlocked her fingers with his and sighed. “We’ll get through this.”
He squeezed her hand. “Together.”
Chapter Nine