Seasons of the Heart: Omnibus

by Janette Oke

  Mrs. Foggelson met me at the door. "Oh, josh!" she said with a little cry and she moved quickly toward me, her arms outstretched.

  I held her for a few minutes. She was crying against my shoulder, but when she moved back she quickly whisked away the tears and motioned me to the sofa.

  We talked about Willie for a long time; we both needed it. I asked about Camellia.

  "How is she?" I asked.

  "Crushed!" said Mrs. Foggelson. "She's crushed-but she'll make it. We've talked on the telephone a couple of times"

  "When will she be home?"

  "Today. On the afternoon train. That was the soonest she could come."

  There was a pause; then she added, "It seems like such a long way to come for such a short time, but we both felt it important that she be here for the Memorial Service"

  "Short time? What do you mean?"

  "She has to go back right away. She's writing important exams next week:"

  "You mean she's going to stay on in school?" I couldn't believe it. Why? Willie was no longer there to draw Camellia to South Africa.

  Of course, I reasoned, Camellia would not want to quit classes halfway through a year. I admired her for that. But she quit the Interior Design course before she had completed it. I was puzzled, unable to understand the difference.

  "If she doesn't write these exams, she loses a whole semester. That would set her back considerably."

  I nodded, a bit surprised that Camellia still wanted to be a nurse.

  I went with Mrs. Foggelson to meet Camellia's train. Some of the Corbin family were there as well. There were more tears. Camellia went from one to another, being held and comforted. When it was my turn there was nothing that we could say to each other. I just held her and let her weep, and my heart nearly broke all over again. The three of us walked on home through the chill winter air and Mrs. Foggelson set about making us all a pot of tea.

  "Your ma says you need to go back soon;' I said to Camellia.

  She nodded slowly, a weary hand brushing back her curls.

  "You're still set on nursing?"

  "Willie said that is the biggest need out there-and who knows? If there had been a nurse there, Willie might not have died"

  I could understand that much but not what it had to do with her situation.

  "I just wish I hadn't wasted so much time," she went on as though talking to herself. "If I had started my training at the same time Willie did .. She left the statement hanging.

  "But you didn't know."

  "No, I didn't know." Her tone was tired, empty; then she smiled softly. "But at least I'll have the joy of serving the people that Willie learned to love."

  It finally got through to me then. Camellia was still planning on going to Africa.

  "You're going to go after this?" It seemed out of the question.

  "Of course," she said simply, as though I shouldn't even need to ask. "They need me:"

  CHAPTER 27

  God's Call

  The three of us made it through the Memorial Service; Mrs. Foggelson asked me to sit with her and Camellia. And then we saw Camellia off on the train again. She held her mother a long, long time as the tears flowed.

  "Mamma, I love you so much;' she sobbed. "If I didn't have to go, I'd stay with you-you know that:"

  Mrs. Foggelson seemed to understand. She looked Camellia straight in the eyes and said earnestly, "Remember-always, always stand true to your convictions, to what the Lord is telling you:"

  They hugged one another again, and then Camellia turned to me.

  "Thank you, josh, for always being there. For being such a dear, dear friend to Willie and me:" I couldn't say anything in reply. I just held her for a brief moment and then let her go.

  I was restless over the next several days. I couldn't seem to think, to sleep, I didn't care to eat-I couldn't even really concentrate when I prayed. My prayers were all broken sentences, pleas of isolated words, fragments of thoughts.

  I walked through the days in a stupor. I went through the motions of chores each day. The animals were cared for. Chester got his daily massage and exercise. I moved. I functioned. I spoke. Occasionally I even heard myself laugh, but it was as though another person were existing in my body.

  I had to make a trip to town. We needed some groceries and the whole household seemed anxious for a new set of papers.

  I went the usual route, picked up the papers at the post office, shuffled through the mail, and my eyes lighted up as they fell on an envelope from South Africa. It was from Willie! And then my whole body went numb.

  But Willie is dead! Willie is no longer in South Africa!

  I looked at the postmark. It was dated several weeks back. Somewhere the letter had been held up.

  I put the letter in my coat pocket, I wonder if I'll even be able to read it, I thought. But at the same time I knew that there was no way on earth I could keep from reading it.

  I didn't open the letter until after I had arrived home, cared for the team, done the chores, had my supper, and retired for the night. I didn't tell anyone about it either-I wasn't sure how its contents were going to affect me.

  At last I opened it slowly and let my eyes drift over the familiar script. My hands were shaking as I held the pages to the light of the kerosene lamp.

  Willie, in the usual fashion, wrote about the people he was getting to know, how they were learning to trust him and listen when he talked to them about Jesus. His love showed in every word he spoke. You could tell Willie was happy that God had called him to South Africa.

  He made comments about my last letter and asked questions about my family and the community. He sent his love to Mary and even teased me a bit about having two eligible young ladies in the household.

  Then he began to talk about Camellia. How happy and blessed I am that God brought us together! I always cared for Camellia-right from the first day that she came to our school. I watched silently as you and Camellia became friends, both sad and happy at the same time.

  And now God has turned everything around; Camellia is going to be my wife. I can hardly believe the way I have been blessed; I hope with all my heart that you haven't been hurt. It will be a long time yet before Camellia can join me; I'm counting every hour, but God is making the busy days pass quickly, and before we know it, she will be at my side.

  And then Willie said, Josh, I don't have to tell you this, but the most exciting thing in the world is to live day by day in the will of God. He has a perfect plan, and if we are obedient to Him He will accomplish it, whether it takes fifty years, twenty years or a single day.

  A sob caught in my throat. I read the paragraph again. Then I went on.

  I am thankful that God gave me a good home, a good church, and good friends so that I could learn that truth without fighting it. I know that you have often wondered why the Lord hasn't called you to the pastorate or to the mission field. The important thing isn't where we serve, but how. The question is not "what does He have for me in the future?" but `Am I obedient to Him right now?"And you can walk in obedience, josh, wherever you live and serve.

  May God lead you, josh, in whatever He has for you. You're the greatest buddy a fellow ever had. Love, Willie.

  I cried many tears over that letter. I read it so often in the next several days that I could have repeated it by heart, yet I had a hard time getting to the truth of it.

  I was in the barn one morning exercising Chester when the door opened and Uncle Nat came in. After warm greetings, Uncle Nat came over to check out my horse. He was nearly as pleased as I was to see how well Chester was progressing.

  "He looks real good, josh," he said to me. "Soon he'll be running at a full gallop again:"

  I grinned.

  "Well, I sure hope the ice and snow are off the ground before then;' I said. "Don't want it to happen again:"

  "Oh, it will be;' said Uncle Nat with confidence.

  I shook my head. "Seems to me this winter has hung on and on," I said soberly.

>   Uncle Nat looked at me evenly. I could read questions in his eyes. He pulled forward a barn stool and sat down.

  "So, how's it going, josh?" I knew that it wasn't just a passing question or a social pleasantry.

  I let Chester drift back to his own stall, and I sank onto a soft mound of straw.

  "I don't know," I said honestly. "It's been a tough winter."

  Uncle Nat nodded.

  "Tough times make us grow, Josh;' he said simply.

  I thought about that. I hoped I had done some growing.

  "The farm's doing well;' Uncle Nat went on, encouraging me to talk.

  "Yeah;' I nodded, thinking of the good seed grain in the granaries, the fine stock in the pasture, and the tractor waiting for spring.

  "You should be real proud of yourself," Uncle Nat continued. "I know we all are:'

  "You are? That's good, but I still-"

  "You unhappy with farming?" Uncle Nat's question brought me up short.

  "Oh no;' I was quick to inform him. "I like it-love it. It's great to watch things grow-and change-and to know that you've been a part of it"

  "But something is bothering you:"

  "Well, I mean-I still don't know what God wants me to do in life. I expected by now that He would show me, but He hasn't yet. By the time a fella is past twenty-two, he should have some clear direction about his life, he should know what he's supposed to do:"

  Uncle Nat gave me a playful poke on the arm. "I thought maybe you had girl troubles," he teased. "Couldn't make up your mind about which one of those fine ladies-"

  "Naw," I answered, "not girl troubles." But I pondered Uncle Nat's words.

  "I wouldn't even dare to choose a girl now," I added defensively. "Not til I know what God has in mind for my life:"

  "I see;' said Uncle Nat.

  We were both silent for a few minutes.

  "But you enjoy farming?" said Uncle Nat, as though to clear up a point. "You don't feel any kind of guilt for being here for the last several years?"

  I had to be here," I said, surprised that Uncle Nat didn't understand that. "Grandpa and Uncle Charlie needed me. There was no one else to help them"

  "And with your hard work and good management you have turned the farm around-it's better now than ever."

  I appreciated Uncle Nat's lofty compliments, and I had to admit that there was some truth in what he said.

  "And you think that the two men will be able to handle the farm now by themselves?"

  It was a foolish question. Anyone could see that Grandpa and Uncle Charlie wouldn't do much farming in the future.

  "You know they couldn't," I said rather abruptly.

  "So they still need you?" Uncle Nat left the question hanging in the air between us. I didn't even try to answer it.

  "Have you ever considered the fact that God might want you to go on farming? That farming might be His call for you?"

  "Farming?" I paused for quite a while. Then I said, "Not really. I just supposed-" I shook my head.

  "But you do enjoy farming?" pressed Uncle Nat.

  "Sure I do. But it all seems kind of pointless. I've been trying hard to build up the farm so that it would be productive, make money" I lowered my head and picked absently at some straw. "I had even promised God that the money I made would be used to support missionaries-like Willie. And now-now it all seems wasted:' My speech ended with a sob caught in my throat. Uncle Nat sat silently for several minutes until he could see that I had control of myself again.

  "I suppose Willie's early death seems a waste to you, too, josh"

  Uncle Nat had tied up my confused feelings into a neat package. I said nothing.

  "I don't understand about Willie's death;' went on Uncle Nat. "It is sad and it causes us all much pain, but it wasn't wasteful. God doesn't make mistakes, josh."

  "That's what SueAnn said the day we got word of his death. But, Uncle Nat, that's really hard for me to swallow. Look at Willie-if anybody was being faithful to God, he was. So why did God let him die like that, so young, with so much ahead of him?"

  Uncle Nat looked intently at me. "Josh, none of us can know for certain why these things happen. We may never know. Because God gave man a free will and he chose to sin, we now live in a world marred by sin-"

  "But Jesus' death sets us free from sin!" I protested.

  `As individuals who trust Him-yes. From the judgment of sin. But as long as we live on this earth, we will have to live with the effects of sin:'

  "Like evil?"

  "Evil, and sickness, and accidents, and untimely death-all those things that don't quite seem fair. We live in a sin-damaged world, Josh. People do get sick and die. We may not understand it, but we do know-"

  "That God loves us and wants the best for us:' I finished for him. Somewhere, in the darkness of my grief and confusion, I felt a light beginning to dawn.

  "We have to believe that or life has no meaning;' Uncle Nat agreed in a soft, firm voice.

  "Now, I don't know the reason for what happened. But there is a purpose. God can make `all things work together for good'-those aren't just words, josh. I'm sure of that. Willie's life accomplished what it was meant to accomplish. Willie was obedient to God. He was right where God wanted Him to be at the time that God wanted him to be there. He wasn't running away; he wasn't fighting God's plan. He was obedient. God can always-and only-fulfill His plan for us when we obey Him-about the daily decisions and the big ones."

  Parts of Willie's letter flashed back into my mind. That was what Willie was trying to tell me. All that was really important was that I obey God now, this very moment, at this very place. Tomorrow could be left in God's hands.

  Uncle Nat was talking again. "Do you feel that you are disobeying God in farming, josh?"

  "No;' I was able to answer honestly. "I really don't."

  "Then if you are not disobeying Him, could it be that you are obeying Him?"

  I stared at Uncle Nat, thinking. Then I began to chuckle. "It seems so simple," I said, tossing a handful of straw into the air.

  "Maybe it is. Maybe we're the ones who make it complicated:"

  I felt as if a great burden had suddenly been lifted from my shoulders. Uncle Nat and I hugged each other and then he held me away and said softly, "Josh, there are other missionaries who will still need to be supported. Camellia, for one."

  Tears filled my eyes. I guess there was no other missionary I would rather support than Willie's Camellia. I nodded, too choked up to speak.

  "You ready to go?" asked Uncle Nat.

  I was ready all right. I had been spending too much of my time hidden away in the barn lately. Chester was doing just fine on his own. He didn't need me that much anymore. At least for now, God wants me to be a farmer-the best one possible, I thought. Unless or until He shows me something else ... And I had the big issue settled. I was ready to get on with some of the other decisions that a fellow has to make. I gave Uncle Nat a smile-the first in a long time, it seemed. We left the barn and I fastened the door securely behind me.

  As we headed for the house, I lifted my eyes to study the farm I loved. A distinct feeling of spring filled the morning air.

  Spring's Gentle

  PromIse

  To all the men and women of the soil, past and present, who have fought against the elements and the changing times to maintain their roots and to pass on a heritage. We need you. We cheer you on. God bless you.

  CONTENTS

  Characters ...................................................522

  Chapter 1 A Beautiful Morning 523 ................................

  Chapter 2 Togetherness 527 ......................................

  Chapter 3 Visitors 535 ...........................................

  Chapter 4 Summer 541 ..........................................

  Chapter 5 The Ford 547 ..........................................

  Chapter 6 A Caller 554 ..........................................

  Chapter 7 Changes 5
60 ..........................................

  Chapter 8 Troubling Thoughts 568 ................................

  Chapter 9 Eying the Field 574 .....................................

  Chapter 10 Spring 581 ............................................

  Chapter 11 An Awakening 589 .....................................

  Chapter 12 Courtship 597 .........................................

  Chapter 13 Plans 604 .............................................

  Chapter 14 Sunday's Comin'! 611 ...................................

  Chapter 15 Beginnings 619 ........................................

  Chapter 16 Christmas 624 .........................................

  Chapter 17 Adjustments 635 .......................................

  Chapter 18 Life Goes On 641 ......................................

  Chapter 19 Happiness 648 .........................................

  Chapter20 Tough Times 655 ......................................

  Chapter 21 Planting Again 660 .....................................

  Chapter 22 Hope Upon Hope 667 ..................................

  Chapter 23 Sustained Effort 674 ....................................

  Chapter 24 Striving to Make It 685 .................................

  Chapter 25 Another Spring, Another Promise 693 ....................

  Epilogue .....................................................698

  CHARACTERS

  Joshua Chadwick Jones-The boy raised by his aunt Lou, grandfather and great-uncle Charlie. Josh is now an adult, farming the family farm.

  Grandpa and Uncle Charlie-The menfolk who shared Josh's home and life.

  Matilda-The neighborhood schoolteacher who boards with the Joneses.

  Mary Turley-Housekeeper and neighbor girl who helps the men with the kitchen duties. In Grandpa's thinking, two girls in the house made the arrangement more "respectable"