Psychic Blues

by Mark Edward

  But watch out. Some of my peers operating in the vast psychic marketplace may not share my sense of conscience and will blithely tell you the name of your first-grade teacher, the color of the car you once owned, or your dog’s nickname, since it’s all out there now for anyone who does his or her homework. It’s not magick, only an inevitable technological toehold.

  So, is there any socially redeeming benefit to getting a psychic reading?

  Yes, I think so. Why not?

  Once, I was booked to perform handwriting analysis at a party of Beverly Hills lawyers. I sat in a spacious living room amidst a costly art collection while a smiling couple stood before me. The woman asked if I remembered her. I didn’t, but since I wasn’t doing the super-psychic know-it-all shtick and working that night instead with the more socially accepted “scientific” entertainment of graphology, I determined that it was okay to ask questions.

  “Can you give me a hint?”

  The gentleman offered, “You gave our son a reading at a bar mitzvah a few months ago.”

  I tried to recall what I had said. It is rare that an event coordinator will book a graphologist at a children’s party or bar mitzvah. Children under the age of eighteen generally don’t have a lot of life experience to draw from and any readings are usually short. Their handwriting is innocent and unpretentious.

  I leaned back in my chair and reflected. “Oh yes, I remember the party. It was a big one.”

  The father enthusiastically continued. “We just wanted to let you know how much you have changed our son’s life. You told him he was a strong people person and would grow up to be a successful world leader.”

  My mind began to click. I slowly remembered the exchange, like a photograph gradually developing in a darkroom tray.

  “Oh, yes, I remember him now.” I also remembered that the reading in question was as short and to the point as I have ever given.

  “Since he talked to you, he has changed so much. It’s incredible. He was having a terrible time with school, not doing homework, and not getting along with his little sister. He spent a lot of time alone. We were worried. Now, suddenly, he is outgoing and tells us he wants to lead people, just as you said. His little sister has started to put more effort into picking up her room, following his lead. It’s a miracle! You encouraged him. He has a better chance in life now. We thank you with all our hearts.”

  I sat for a moment in stunned silence, then eventually mumbled, “Eh . . . yeah. I mean, thanks. It’s great to hear I made a difference. Thank you for telling me. It means a lot to me. Really.”

  The mother added, “And of course, we want you to read our handwriting tonight and tell us about our futures.”

  The thought of giving either of them anywhere near the empowering reading I had given their son was a daunting prospect, yet anything less than a complete transpersonal makeover would have been anticlimactic. Still, I managed to give them both a positive reading and they went away happy, each clutching a handful of my business cards.

  Psychic readings like the one I had shared with their son might have been given without any regard for what I was saying or what it might eventually lead to. It was just another reading, like the 900 phone reading I had given Ginger, which ended up saving her life.

  What about the hundreds of people I have talked to over the years that I have never had the chance to hear from again? Maybe Cat Lady’s Oscar did actually show up again on her doorstep wearing a new collar and a new attitude. Danielle, the Lady That Never Listened, may have finally listened. Conversely, the readings that may have seemed profound and life-changing to me may have fallen on totally deaf ears. Most of the time, I never know. But sometimes reality trickles back. I never expect any karmic payback or credit in heaven, just an occasional glimpse of a higher power, if I’m lucky. That’s the real magic; there is a serenity and wisdom to quiet listening.

  Being psychic is a natural part of being human, and being human is a natural part of being psychic. There are no supernatural powers at work in my psychic supply-and-demand universe of instant gratification.

  One thing I know for certain about the future: There will always be a steady stream of work for psychics. As long as humanity continues to suffer the spectrum of emotions and phobias manifested in its own hypocrisy, dishonesty, bigotry, insecurity, greed, disloyalty, loneliness, deception, escapism, intolerance, superstition, complacency, and entrenched apathy, I’ll be there to listen.

  Imagine. If these character defects were to suddenly vanish from the face of the earth, I would too.

  ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

  Apart from the thousands of patient sitters I have entertained and shared my magick with, and without whose encouragement and praise both spiritually and financially this book may have never been written, I wish to thank: Tony Andruzzi, John Baldessari, Carl Ballantine, Jack Camp, Jack Dean, Tony and Kathy Delap, Lee Earle, Betty Easley, Michael Fraughton, Uri Geller, Joe Given, Daniel Hamilton, Curtis Harrington, Docc Hilford, The Amazing Kreskin, Jules Lenier, Pat Lindse, Jim Magus, Harley Newman, Adam Parfrey, Star Price, Carroll Priest, Quin, James “The Amazing” Randi, Ned Rutledge, Tony “Doc” Shiels, Cheri Soleil, Sandy Spellman, Joe & Marilyn Stefano, Dianna Stirpe and Richard Webster. Special thanks to Susan Gerbic for her tireless support and photographic expertise.