“Just because you know the score it doesn’t mean you can keep your emotions in check. It’s not like ordering your dog to sit, stay, play dead.”
How she wished her feelings were dead, but just the opposite was true. Emotions were alive, well, thriving out of control.
“I know.”
“Have you slept with him?” Elise asked.
If anyone else had asked, Haley would have been shocked and embarrassed. Elise knew that she’d never had sex. “No.”
“Do you want to?”
“Yes,” she said simply. No point in lying. Her friend always saw through her.
“So you really do care.” There was gentle understanding in Elise’s soft voice.
“How did you know?”
“If you didn’t, you wouldn’t even consider going to bed with him.” Sympathy and understanding were soft in her friend’s blue eyes. “Maybe Marlon is the reason you’ve waited this long.”
She was right. Warm feelings for this wonderful friend welled up and tears filled her eyes. She felt a little less alone because there was someone in this world who knew her so well.
“I miss you so much.” She reached over and squeezed Elise’s hand. “I wish we could talk like this more often.”
“Well, I’ll be back in Thunder Canyon for the holidays. We’ll get together then.”
“Christmas seems so far away.”
“The time will fly,” Elise promised.
“I could be more patient if it wasn’t going to be a temporary visit. When Grant and Stephanie’s baby is born, you’re going to want to be close to your niece or nephew. A good reason to make it a permanent move. Don’t blame me for keeping my fingers crossed.”
“They’re your fingers, but—” Deep sadness dimmed the sparkle in Elise’s eyes. “I really can’t live there. Too many bad memories.”
Haley nodded, knowing all about the awful things that had happened. But she couldn’t help hoping that the next visit would change her friend’s mind about making it a move back for good. She was going to need the comfort of talks like this when Marlon went back to his regularly scheduled life and took her heart with him.
“It won’t kill you to have some dinner, Haley.”
Marlon lounged in the open doorway to her room. The search had taken all afternoon. They’d made phone calls, tacked up copies of his sketch all over town and driven around looking for Roy without success. It was getting late and he could see how tired she was. Her exhaustion would make the trip back to Thunder Canyon an ordeal. Without a license, he couldn’t take over the driving for her.
Finally he’d made an executive decision and reserved two rooms for the night at a hotel. He’d known it was the right decision when she didn’t fight him on it.
After a trip to the local Walmart for necessities, he’d come next door to convince Haley that a hunger strike wouldn’t help find the teenager and would only hurt her in the long run.
“It feels wrong,” she finally answered.
“Are you afraid you’ll have fun?” he challenged.
“Of course not—” She stopped, a puzzled look on her face as she tried to figure out what, if anything, she’d admitted.
“Then you don’t want to spend time with me.”
“I do, it’s just—” Again she stopped, frowning.
Marlon definitely wanted to spend time with her. He just wished there wasn’t a dark cloud hovering over this trip, that she could be carefree and forget about responsibility for a while. He wanted to give her that before it was time to go.
He moved farther into the room—a duplicate of his. There was a king-size bed covered with a blue-green patterned comforter. The walls were cream-colored and dark wood nightstands bracketed the bed. A bathroom was to the right by the door. It was your basic, generic hotel room.
He should know. He’d stayed in what felt like a million of them, traveling around by himself. But just having Haley next door made it different, special and he wanted to do something for her. Buying her a nice dinner seemed right.
“What is it, Haley?” he asked again. “There’s nothing more you can do tonight. We’ve left cell phone numbers with everyone possible. If anyone has information about Roy, they’ll call. Let’s stand down. Just for a little while.”
Her brown eyes darkened with the conflict raging inside her. Finally her gaze lifted to his. “Is this one of those times when you’re not taking no for an answer?”
“You noticed that about me?”
“Didn’t have to notice. You’re not shy about announcing it.” She shook her head and muttered, “Darn sales personality.”
“I know.” He grinned as he took her elbow and guided her from the room. “Gotta love it.”
“It’s very irritating.”
“Part of my charm.” At the end of the hall, he pushed the down elevator button.
“You call it charm. I say pigheaded, obstinate and inflexible.”
“Takes one to know one. And my mother calls it perseverance.” When the doors whispered open, they stepped into the car. “She always said it would be a good quality in an adult. A kid? Not so much.”
“Your mom is a smart lady.”
“I take after her.” That finally merited a smile. She’d made him work, but it was worth the reward.
There was a nice restaurant right next door and this time he didn’t make the mistake of kissing her on the way. Although the memory of her response to his mouth on hers last night hinted at a more positive outcome.
They walked inside the place, which had candlelight and white tablecloths. The hostess greeted, then seated them in a quiet corner of the uncrowded dining room. It was impossible not to notice the romantic surroundings.
Haley looked beautiful in unforgiving sunshine, but by candlelight she took his breath away. Her brown hair was loose and teased her shoulders and cheeks, making him want to bury his fingers in the silky softness. This place had probably been a mistake. Somewhere called Bubba’s Burgers and Beans would have been noisy and loud, not at all suited to passionate thoughts. Although he wasn’t sure even that atmosphere would have completely erased his growing need to touch her.
A waitress in black pants and pristine white blouse appeared beside them. “My name is Claire and I’ll be your server tonight. Can I get you a cocktail or glass of wine?”
Marlon looked at Haley and the frown told him that’s where she drew the line. Fun was one thing, but keeping a clear head because of why they were here took priority.
“Iced tea for me,” he said.
“Make it two,” said Haley.
“Coming right up.” She handed them menus and left to get their drinks.
“No beer?” One corner of Haley’s full mouth lifted.
“Gotta keep a clear focus. Just in case.”
The approval shining in her eyes made him feel as if he’d just gone to the head of the class. It was a potent reaction and that was dangerous. Possibly leading to promises he wasn’t sure he could keep. He didn’t want to risk doing anything to lead her on. There wouldn’t be a repeat of not keeping his word.
He opened his menu and had to force himself to read the choices. The time for him to go back to L.A. was approaching far too quickly and it felt as if he couldn’t look at her long enough. Hard enough.
“So what are you having?” he asked, not really seeing the words. He chanced a glance and she was nervously chewing on her lip. “What?”
“The prices…” She glanced up.
“I can afford it.”
“You don’t have to.”
He wondered if she’d ever been to a restaurant more upscale than The Hitching Post. He doubted it. No one seemed to know if she dated. The jerk in college probably hadn’t taken her anywhere fancy. This might be his only chance to do something for the woman who took care of everyone else.
“If you don’t order whatever you want, regardless of the cost, I’m getting you the most expensive dinner they have.”
Her eyes widened
. “There are things listed without the cost. It says market price.”
“Live dangerously.”
“Really?”
He was. Just by being here. “Yeah.”
When Claire came back with drinks and said, “Are you ready to order? Or do you need a few minutes.”
“I’m ready,” Haley said. “Petite filet mignon, medium rare, with a baked potato and house salad.”
“Good choice,” said Marlon. “I’ll have the same.”
“Coming right up.”
Fifteen minutes later they were digging into their meals. The pleasured expression on Haley’s face was a mixed blessing. It was good to see her enjoying an experience that he took for granted. Bad because blood flow went south of his belt as thoughts of other ways to pleasure her refused to leave him alone. He was a jerk and the seventh level of hell wouldn’t be low enough for him.
When she declared herself too full to eat another bite, half her steak still sat on her plate. He finished it for her.
“I had a feeling that would happen,” he said.
“Is that why you ordered the smaller cut? Because the women you take to dinner leave half of theirs?”
And just like that the sad, guarded expression was back in her eyes. Before he could ask her about it, Claire returned and they declined dessert, so she took his credit card.
“What’s wrong, Haley?” he finally said.
“I was just wondering if Roy had dinner tonight.”
The “women he took to dinner” remark told him it was more than that, but he didn’t want to go there. Instead, he asked, “Why do you do that?”
“What?”
“Shut down the fun. Punishing yourself doesn’t do anything except make you feel sad. It doesn’t change the fact that bad stuff happens and none of it is within your control.”
She slapped her cloth napkin on the table and glared. “You don’t think I already know that?”
“I know you know,” he said. “More than anyone you should understand how important it is to live in the moment. You can’t walk around waiting for the other shoe to fall.”
“That’s easy for you to say. When you went to college, left home for the first time, no one called a few weeks later to tell you your mother was dead. You didn’t have to rush home in a state of shock to a brother and sister even more traumatized than you.
“One day you’re the oldest child and the next you’re parenting the only family you have left in the world.” She drew in a shuddering breath. “Do you have any idea what it’s like to be dumped into a responsibility that you didn’t ask for and in no way deserve?”
“You did an unbelievable job,” he said sincerely.
“If that’s true, I couldn’t have done it without Ben Walters. He was like the father I never had.”
“Even more than you know.”
“What does that mean?” she demanded. “Why don’t you like him?”
“I think you’ve got that reversed.”
He hadn’t meant to say anything to her, but couldn’t be sorry he had. It was important before he left to let her know that when he’d said he was going to call her, he’d fully intended to do just that. He needed her to know that he wasn’t a heartless player, that she was wrong when she’d mocked his commitment capability. He wanted to clear the air.
“Six years ago I kissed you at the football carnival and told you I’d call. Somehow Ben Walters found out.” He shrugged. “No secrets in a small towns.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Ben warned me to stay away from you. That you weren’t my type and he wasn’t too old to make me sorry if I hurt you.”
“Ben threatened you?”
“It was a guy thing. And he was right to do it.” Marlon watched her jaw drop. “For what it’s worth, recently he told me he was wrong about me.”
“I never knew that.” Surprise chased the sadness from her eyes. “All this time I’ve been thinking the worst about you.”
“So what you said about commitment not being one of my strengths…” he teased.
“I’m sorry.”
He wasn’t looking for an apology, just clarification. And he definitely didn’t want to make her feel bad. “Please don’t look like that. I just thought you should know why I didn’t call back then. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
And if there was a God in heaven he wouldn’t hurt her now. Or ever.
“I believe that,” she said. “But it happened. And that wasn’t the worst. It’s hard for me to live in the moment, let my guard down and have fun. Taking a chance, moving forward…that hasn’t worked out so well for me—”
Her voice broke and her lips trembled. She put her hand over her mouth, looking completely destroyed by the collapse of her composure. Without another word, she stood up and hurried out of the restaurant.
Marlon quickly signed the credit card receipt Claire had unobtrusively slipped on the table, then followed Haley. He couldn’t stand to see her look like that.
But it was worse to stand back and do nothing. She wasn’t alone; he was there. The least he could do was hold her while she cried.
Chapter Thirteen
Haley wasn’t sure how she managed to find her way to her room, what with tears blurring her eyes. But she did, and stopped outside her door, fumbling in her jeans pocket for the card key.
It had been six years since her mother died. She’d managed to get everything under control. She was under control, always. So, what had made her melt down like that after so long? Why tonight?
Why with Marlon?
Just thinking his name brought a fresh wave of emotion and she couldn’t see to get her key in the slot. It didn’t help that her hand was shaking.
“Damn it,” she said brokenly.
“Haley?”
She’d felt him behind her even before he’d spoken. All she wanted was to be alone and have her little scene in the privacy of her room.
“Please go away.” Was that too much to ask?
“I can’t leave you like this.”
Apparently it was. “I’m fine.”
“All evidence to the contrary. What’s wrong?”
Too much to put into words. How could she tell him that she’d lost it because the future couldn’t include him when they both wanted different things?
Just like that a fresh wave of tears trickled down her cheeks and she pressed a hand over her mouth to stifle a sob.
“Nothing’s wrong.”
“I don’t believe you.” His hands on her shoulders turned her. “Come here.”
He wrapped his arms around her and pressed her close. She rested her cheek on his chest, comforted by the steady beat of his heart, the warmth of his body.
“Don’t cry, Haley. We’ll find Roy.”
“I know.”
It was easier to let him think that was the problem than explain she wasn’t as selfless as he thought. This emotion was all about her. “I didn’t mean to spoil the evening. You didn’t need to follow me back.”
But she couldn’t manage to be sorry that he had.
“I can’t stand to see you so upset. I had to make sure you were okay or do something to fix it.”
“Stand down.” She sniffled. “I’ll dry.”
He backed her up a step and looked down. “Promise?”
“Yes.”
They stared at each other for several moments and she knew the exact moment he went from comfort mode to something else entirely. His brown eyes darkened and a muscle in his jaw tensed.
“You need to go in your room.” His voice was deep, dangerous.
In a brief, blinding flash of clarity she knew that this was one of those turning points in life. A place where choices happened along with regrets. She could choose to live and look back with pride or duck and run and be sorry about it for the rest of her days. Was it only last night that she’d planned to go to his room and take the step? Fate had given her a second chance and she couldn’t throw it away.
�
�No,” she said. “Take me to your room.”
Surprise jumped into his eyes, but the darkness was back a moment later. “That’s a bad idea.”
“Then you don’t want me?” The brazen words were out and she couldn’t believe she’d actually said it.
“I wouldn’t say it like that.”
“Then how would you say it?”
He shook his head. “Don’t look at me like that.”
“How?” she asked.
“Like I yanked the funding on your project. I’m trying to be a gentleman and it’s not easy.”
“Why isn’t it easy?”
“Oh, God—” He swallowed hard. “Because you’re beautiful. The feel of you— Your skin is— So soft. You’ve completely destroyed the sliver of self control I’ve managed to retain until this second.”
Her heart pounded and her spirit soared. She’d made him feel like this? “Really?”
“Hell, yes. I want you more than I’ve ever wanted any woman in my life.”
“I want you, too.” She heard his sigh of surrender and knew she’d won.
Like a gunslinger pulling a six-shooter from a holster, suddenly his card key was in his hand and a second later the door to his room was open. Flipping the switch, he led her inside as the entry lit up. The door had barely closed before she was in his arms with his mouth on hers.
Haley slid her arms around his neck and pressed against him. The muscles in her legs were going lax and she hung on for all she was worth. Marlon’s kiss was filled with hunger and any insecurity she once had disappeared as instinct and need took over.
His tongue traced the seam of her lips and she gladly opened to him. When he swept inside and boldly claimed her, the tempo of her breathing increased. The moan of need in her chest refused to be contained and the sound of it fueled the tension in his body as his hands seemed to explore everywhere. He caressed her back, curved his fingers at her hips to pull her against his hardness. Sliding his palms up above her waist, he stopped and brushed his thumbs over her breasts, making her nipples erect and sensitive.
She wanted him to touch her bare skin, ached to feel her breasts in his palms. As if he could read her mind, he tugged at the hem of her T-shirt, pulling it up and over her head. With a flick of his fingers, her bra loosened and he slid the straps down her arms before dropping it on the floor.
Taming the Montana Millionaire Page 15