And then he was holding her in his hands and the feeling was too wonderful. Blood pounded through her veins and between her thighs, a steady throbbing started.
“Oh, Haley,” he breathed. “You’re so beautiful.”
She closed her eyes and drew in a shuddering breath. “That feels so good.”
Such an inadequate word.
Especially when he lowered his head to her right breast and took it in his mouth. The sensation was like a jolt of sensuous electricity when he flicked his tongue over the tip. She thought the pleasure was too much to bear until he turned his attention to the left side. Unable to restrain the tension building inside her, she nearly whimpered with need.
Marlon straightened and looked at her, his eyes burning with passion. His chest was rising and falling fast and furiously. He took her hand and led her to the side of the bed.
“Are you sure about this?” he asked.
“Absolutely.”
That was all he needed to hear before sweeping aside the quilt, blanket and sheet in one move. She toed off her sneakers as he unfastened the button on her jeans and slid them down with her panties. Embarrassment and shyness threatened until he dragged his shirt off. The sight of his naked chest, the contour of muscle, stole the breath from her lungs. Then he kissed her and they were skin to skin from the waist up. Shyness disappeared as the exquisite intimacy set fire to her blood.
He pulled back reluctantly and reached into his jeans’ pocket for his wallet. Reaching inside with two fingers, he pulled out a square packet and set it on the nightstand. Protection. Thank goodness he’d remembered because she hardly knew her own name.
Then his heated gaze settled on her face as he unfastened his jeans and pushed them down and away. She barely had time to admire the strength of his body, the muscular arms and legs, before he easily lifted her into his arms and settled her in the center of the big bed.
Before she had a chance to get cold, he was beside her, sliding an arm beneath her and pulling her close. He cupped her cheek in his palm and kissed her. With his teeth, tongue and touch, he stoked the fire inside her. He dragged his hand over her breast and down her belly. With one finger he parted the folds of her femininity, then entered her, preparing her. His thumb brushed over the bundle of nerves coiled at the juncture of her thighs and it was like the best electrical shock she’d ever had. The jolt nearly brought her up off the bed.
But that was just the beginning. He began to stroke her—over and over—building the pressure. She writhed, unable to hold still. Her hips lifted, seeking, as the throbbing in her center grew unbearable. And then there was an explosion of pleasure like a nuclear blast. Wave after wave shuddered through her and Marlon tenderly held her until it was over.
“Oh, my God—”
He smiled. “Yeah.”
Words could never describe such a feeling. Finally, she understood what all the fuss was about. Her next thought was that she didn’t know it all because she was still a virgin. Before she could figure out how to phrase a question, he was reaching for the condom he’d put on the nightstand.
After covering himself, he gathered her into his arms and whispered against her hair, “You’re even more passionate and responsive than I imagined.”
She was stunned that he’d thought about her like this.
“You imagined me?”
“After that first kiss.” He grinned. “It made me wonder. You were so quiet and shy in high school. But just that once, I felt something.”
“Wow.”
If only she’d known he noticed her. The revelation made her daring and she lifted a hand to his neck, then slid her fingers into the hair at his nape. Pulling him down, she settled her lips on his and felt his breathing quicken, his heart pound. He rolled over her, bracing his weight on his forearms as he nudged her thighs apart with his knee.
“Put your legs around me.” There was an intensity in his husky voice, an urgency in his movements.
She did as he asked, anxious now to take the final step, know this last secret. She felt him push into her and braced herself. When he thrust gently, there was a sharp pain when the resistance was gone. But she felt him tense.
He froze for a moment, confused. “Haley?”
“Don’t stop,” she whispered, holding him fast. “Please.”
The discomfort faded and then she wrapped her legs more securely around him, drawing him in deeper. He groaned and his hips started to move. In moments, his body went completely still, then tensed as he cried out with pleasure. She held him tight as release surged through him. Now that she knew the awesomeness of the sensation, she smiled. Her heart soared at the wonder of giving him that. When he lifted his head, she dropped her arms. He rolled out of bed, then grabbed his pants from the floor before disappearing into the bathroom.
Her body was a little sore in the best possible way and she had a flash of insight. Sex didn’t make her a woman. It just made her glory in being one.
Unfortunately, the glow only lasted until Marlon came back and handed her the hotel robe that had been hanging in his closet. “We need to talk.”
Not the words she’d wanted to hear. It couldn’t be a good sign. “Okay.”
While she slid her arms into the sleeves and tied the robe around her waist, he turned his back. But when he spoke, she didn’t have to see his face to know he was upset.
“You’re a virgin?”
“Not anymore.” She turned on the nightstand light.
He whirled around. “Did it occur to you at any point that it was information I should have?”
“No.” She leaned against the headboard. “It’s kind of a catch twenty-two. I didn’t know what you needed to know because I’d never done it before.”
“You’re twenty-four years old. How is that possible?”
“Life intervened. I got busy. And my mom always told me not to rush into sex because there’s only one first time and it should be special.”
He winced. “If I’d known, I would have made it special.”
“It was,” she protested. “I’m glad it was you. I really wanted you to be the one.”
“The one?” He couldn’t have looked more surprised if she’d slapped him.
“You said yourself there was something simmering between us.”
“Yeah.” Regret shadowed every angle of his face. “And I was stupid for saying that. I was doing my damnedest to resist temptation—”
“I’m glad you didn’t.” That was an attempt to tease him out of this severe mood, but the muscle jerking in his cheek told her she’d failed.
“It’s no use, Haley. Maybe if I were a different man…”
“Shouldn’t that be my call?”
“How can you make the right one? You have nothing to compare.”
She stood up and walked over to him, close enough to feel the anger rolling off him and let him feel hers. “Sex is just a physical act. The fact that it’s my first time doesn’t mean I don’t know my own mind. I know who I like and don’t like. I’ve been around.”
“So have I. Enough to know I’m not good enough for you. I’m not the right guy. I can’t be what you need.”
The words pierced her heart and drew blood. It was vital that she be alone when the pain of it hit. Without a word, she grabbed up her clothes. She’d waited to be with a man, wanting it to feel right. And it had. So wonderful, so right. And she hated that Marlon thought it was wrong. But he was wrong. A woman who’d saved herself for the right man shouldn’t feel as if she’d made a mistake.
Haley wasn’t sure how she managed to find her way to the door connecting their rooms. Even more surprising was how she held back the tears. But they didn’t fall until she’d made it safely to her side and was alone. They fell because she was alone and always would be.
The next morning Haley bought a cup of coffee and a scone from the Starbucks next door to the hotel. She was steering clear of Marlon. Her eyes were swollen and achy from crying, but that wasn’t the reason for her
evasive actions.
What was she going to say to him about last night?
In her fantasy of first-time sex, cuddling afterward had been a component. Followed closely by falling asleep wrapped in a pair of strong arms. Her anxiety about the scenario had been more in the nature of what to do about morning breath.
Physically, she was a little sore and couldn’t help being glad of the proof that she was no longer pure as the driven snow. If she’d told him, what would he have done to make it different? Most likely he’d have sent her away.
With no clear answer to the questions, she walked back to the hotel and through the Western-themed lobby. To her left was the registration desk, a replica of a saloon bar with brass foot rail. The ceiling was made of natural pine open beams and there was a river rock fireplace in the corner. A leather couch and two wing chairs formed a conversation area around it. On the coffee table stood a metal sculpture of horse and rider. Somehow the artist had managed to convey the illusion of motion, of racing across the plains.
If anyone could appreciate creativity in any medium, it was her. Sketching had always been her serenity and she figured after last night she’d be churning out a lot of stuff when she got home.
She wished she was there now and was tempted to hop in her truck and go. But she just couldn’t skip out on Marlon, no matter how big a jerk he’d been. That didn’t mean she wouldn’t take the coward’s way out and avoid him just a little while longer.
She scurried through the hotel lobby and went outside to the courtyard. Sitting on a wrought-iron bench, she scanned her surroundings. It was a landscaped rectangular area surrounded on three sides by the four-story buildings. A fenced-in pool was at the far end with grass, trees, flowers and shrubs in the middle. It was a peaceful place, or might have been if she wasn’t in the middle of a personal crisis.
She should have stayed in Thunder Canyon. The trip had been a waste of time. Roy was still missing and she’d slept with her major crush. On the failure scale, she was two for two.
“Here you are.”
She jumped at the sound of Marlon’s voice behind her. Lost in thought and wallowing in a healthy portion of self-pity, she hadn’t heard him approach.
“Here I am.” She didn’t turn to look at him.
“Do you mind if I join you?”
Yes. But it would be best to get this over with. She shrugged. “Suit yourself.”
He sat down beside her with his own Starbucks cup in hand. “I’ve been looking all over for you.”
“And you found me.”
She dug into her bag and broke off a piece of scone—not out of hunger because her appetite had deserted at the sound of his voice, but just for something to occupy her hands. The longer she could keep from looking at him the better.
If only she couldn’t smell the spicy fragrance of his aftershave, the clean manly scent of his skin after a morning shower. Her insides quivered with excitement in spite of the rational voice warning that it was a waste of energy.
He took a sip of coffee. “Are you all right?”
“Of course.” She chewed the pastry without tasting anything. “Don’t I look all right?”
“That’s not what I meant and you know it.”
“What did you mean?”
She could have taken pity on him and answered the question she knew he was asking, but her charitable streak was nowhere to be found. If it was up to her, ignoring the whole thing would be the way to go.
He let out a long breath. “We need to talk about last night.”
“No, we really don’t.”
“Okay then. I need to. You can just listen.”
“No, I really can’t.” She started to stand, but his hand shot out and tugged her back down. She hated that his slightest touch put a hitch in her breathing.
“Don’t be stubborn.”
“Can’t help it. I was made that way.” She set the bag and coffee on the bench between them.
“Why didn’t you tell me you’d never been with a man?”
The words felt like an accusation and she went on the defensive. “It’s not something I should have to apologize for.”
“God, no—” There was adamant agreement in his tone. “I’m the one who should apologize.”
“Darn right.” She chanced a look at him and the sincere regret in his expression deflated the serious case of mad she was carrying around. “Why?”
“I should have known,” he said miserably.
That shocked her. “How could you?”
“There were signs. Your reaction to that kiss on the way to dinner, for one.”
“It just surprised me. I haven’t kissed that many guys.” The defensive words just popped out. She prayed he wouldn’t pity her. That was something she couldn’t bear.
“How many?”
“A few.” She glanced at him and it didn’t look like he was feeling sorry for her. “Including you? Two.”
“The guy when you were in college?”
“How did you know that?”
“I asked around because—” He raked his fingers through his hair. “Your reaction when I kissed you was—I was afraid I’d screwed up. Ben and Linda didn’t remember you going out with anyone in Thunder Canyon, but thought there might have been someone when you went away to school.”
“You made inquiries into my personal life?”
“I was trying to understand,” he defended. “I figured someone hurt you and that’s why you pushed me away. Now I know the truth.”
Could they just be done with this conversation? “It’s no big deal.”
“You’re wrong. It’s an incredibly big deal. When a woman gives herself to a man for the first time, it’s a gift.”
“Really?” Her gaze snapped up to his and she couldn’t detect anything but honesty there.
“A gift and a responsibility.”
“Why?”
He was quiet for several moments. “A woman’s first time can affect her attitude about sex forever. A guy feels pressure to make it good. I wish I’d known—”
That was so sweet. It was the subtext of what her mom had said from the male point of view. And she knew without a doubt that her mom would have liked Marlon.
“I handled it badly,” he continued. “I’m really sorry about that. Somehow I’ll make it up to you.”
A glow spread from her midsection outward until every part of her was tingling. Obviously he didn’t consider her an alien from the planet Zatu and that boded well for a second time. She was all in favor of that.
She touched his arm and the warm skin melted any lingering insecurities. “For the record, my attitude about sex is alive and well.”
He studied her for several moments, then wrapped her fingers in his big hand. Apparently he decided she was telling the truth because his mouth softened into a smile. “Good.”
As much as Haley wanted to hold on to this moment, they needed to figure out their next move. “What are we going to do about Roy?”
He let go of her hand and picked up his coffee, taking a sip as he thought. “I think we’ve done everything we can here.”
“But he’s still out there somewhere.”
“Billings has a population of over a hundred thousand,” Marlon pointed out. “It’s like looking for a needle in a haystack. There are kids in Thunder Canyon who want to hang out at ROOTS. They need to be your priority.”
She sighed. “You’re right. It’s just—”
“The ones who run away need the most help?” he guessed.
“Yeah.”
“He knows how to find you.” He squeezed her fingers reassuringly, then released her and stood up. “Let’s go home.”
“Okay.”
They walked back into the lobby and she started for the elevator when he put a hand on her arm.
“I’m going to check out at the front desk since we’re down here,” he said.
“I’ll go with you.”
They talked to Paul, the clerk on duty, who charged the
credit card Marlon had given them yesterday. He’d insisted on paying for her room, too, and said she could reimburse him later. Something told her he wouldn’t take her money, though.
Marlon folded the printout of the charges and slipped it into the back pocket of his jeans. “Thanks.”
“No problem,” the young man said. He smiled and looked at each of them in turn. “Come back and see us again, Mr. Cates. Mrs. Cates.”
Haley was trying to process the fact that Paul thought they were a couple even though they’d had separate rooms. He’d probably only looked at the total, not the itemized charges. It was an honest mistake. The real surprise was Marlon’s reaction.
“We’re not married.” His tone was adamant and he couldn’t get the words out fast enough.
He could have let the misunderstanding slide. Who cared if a man they would never see again thought they were married?
Obviously Marlon cared. He’d been incredibly uncomfortable with the idea. Setting the guy straight and in that sharp tone was the equivalent of backing up several steps and putting his hands up to distance himself from any part of her being his Mrs.
It was a sad and sobering reality check. Just moments ago she’d been a starry-eyed lover looking forward to a second time. But the truth was, he regretted the first time. If she’d told him she’d never done it before, he’d have sent her to her room with a pat on the head. He didn’t want the responsibility.
He didn’t want to be tied down to a place or a person.
Especially a person.
And her reality check went one awful step further. This whole time she’d been worried about her crush on Marlon. Worried about making the same mistake. She wouldn’t have slept with him if she didn’t care. A lot. So she hadn’t made the same mistake. This was so much more than a major crush.
She’d fallen in love with him.
Chapter Fourteen
It was a quiet afternoon at ROOTS. Marlon and Haley were the only ones there. They’d been back in Thunder Canyon for twenty-four hours and still no word from Roy. He hoped the kid was on her mind and not what happened between them.
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