by Laura Hilton
“Jah, that was last Sunday. Almost a week ago. And I still have nothing to say to you.”
Joshua winced at the sharpness of Annie’s words. He didn’t dare glance at Luke. His being there beside her was probably rubbing salt in Luke’s open wound. Lord, please bolster our self-restraint and help us to avoid fighting. He went up the steps, intending to slip inside.
Luke glared at him again as he balled his fists. He’d taken a couple of steps toward Joshua when a knock sounded.
All three of them looked toward the window. There was Isaac, peering out.
Danki, Lord. Joshua opened the door and went inside. He hated leaving Annie alone with that man, but her daed was right inside, obviously watching. And Joshua would keep his eye on them, too.
Finding the pitcher of pink lemonade on the kitchen table, Joshua helped himself to a glass, then made his way into the living room. He saw that Isaac had opened the window a crack, maybe so that he could keep an ear tuned to the conversation outside.
Isaac looked up from his newspaper and nodded to the chair on the other side of the end table, so Joshua sat down, glancing out the window as he did. He couldn’t hear a word of Luke and Annie’s conversation. They’d probably walked away from the haus, out of earshot. Served him right for trying to eavesdrop.
He sipped his lemonade, wondering where everybody else had gone. Lydia might be napping. Aaron’s upcoming marriage had been published, so he was probably over at his future in-laws’ haus. And Cathy…she could be anywhere, which concerned him. How much mischief had she caused in his absence?
Isaac glanced at the window, then looked back at Joshua. “Did you have a gut morgen? You went with Annie…to that battlefield, I’m thinking?”
Joshua gawked at him. Isaac knew where they’d gone? If it hadn’t been a secret to him, then would others in the community know, as well? Maybe Annie had told her daed. He forced himself to relax. “Jah. It was gut. Lots of traffic. And I’m not sure what I expected from a battlefield, but it was just a field. Nein crops, to be sure. Some buildings, but they weren’t open for touring.”
Isaac nodded. “Figured it’d be as such. Did you have lunch? Cathy prepared some extra sandwiches for you and Annie. We have some bags of chips and sliced raw vegetables, too. Cathy needed to go to work this afternoon because the girl who usually works on Saturdays traded days with her.”
So, that explained Cathy’s absence. Joshua eased back in the chair. “Jah, the couple who gave us a ride took us to a Bass Pro Shop. There are some restaurants there…on the third floor, I think.” He hesitated, trying to remember the building layout. “We took a glass elevator up there and got something to eat, after we’d ordered drinks at the koffee shop there. Some kind of fancy tea…chai, I think it was called. Kind of spicy, but not too bad.”
Isaac chuckled. “These places with fancy koffees are generating quite a following among our young people. Annie used to go to McDonald’s for a free ‘Frappe’ almost every Friday when that promotion was going on. It’s the only koffee she’ll drink, as she’s convinced tea is healthier. I’m not sure where she came up with that, but some of the tea she brings home isn’t too bad. Not like the iced mint or lemongrass tea my frau makes by the gallon. Never did care for it, either. But I think that’s what got Annie hooked on the stuff.” He shrugged, set down his newspaper, and stood. “I came inside because that redheaded bu was here, and I wanted to keep an eye on things. But I guess he’s taken Annie off somewhere, so I might as well go out and work a little in the shop. Need to get some of those leaf blowers fixed.”
“I’ll help.” That would beat sitting around waiting on Annie to reappear, wondering what Luke had said to her, and whether she would fall for it. Joshua downed what was left of his drink, set the glass in the kitchen sink, and followed Isaac out to the shop.
***
Annie kept a two-foot space between herself and Luke as they walked away from the haus, back toward the fields she’d just crossed with Joshua. She kept her eyes on the ground, not wanting to stumble. She didn’t want Luke to touch her at all, not even to steady her. “What did you want to talk about?”
“Us.” Luke grunted and spun to face her. “What were you doing, walking with that…that transplant?” He nearly spat.
Annie sighed. “Jah, we were coming home.”
“From where?”
“We went to Springfield. Wilson’s Creek Battlefield and then the Bass Pro Shop.” She aimed a smirk in his direction, then belatedly realized she shouldn’t have told him. His daed was on the school board. Ach, she might have just gotten herself fired.
He made no comment.
She wiped her suddenly sweaty hands on her apron. “We were just walking. There’s no sin in strolling together.”
“He was gripping your arm.”
“I lost my footing, and he wanted to make sure I wouldn’t fall.”
“You know the reputation he has.”
“Jah, I know. But it’s unfounded.” It had to be. At least, she wanted it to be, and so she would keep on believing what Joshua had told her to be true.
Luke huffed. “He told me straight-out that he’d win you away from me.”
Her heart lurched, then landed with a dull thud somewhere near her big toe. “That was just talk.” But it explained so much. His kind, caring, overly protective manner. The whispers. The invitation to take a walk or a buggy ride. He’d been treating her as some sort of trophy to be won, a heart he could hang on the wall, like the fish and buck mounts at the Bass Pro Shop. He didn’t really like her; he just wanted to win. Tears burned her eyes, but she willed them not to spill over onto her cheeks. “That’s not what we’re talking about.”
“I just wanted to warn you.”
Annie nodded. “And you did.” But she couldn’t keep her voice from catching. She hoped Luke hadn’t noticed. That he wouldn’t guess she’d developed a crush on Joshua. That she was just another girl who’d fallen for him. She sucked in a breath. “But what about you? You jumped the fence, Luke. What made you kum back?” She studied him, noticing for the first time that his face looked soft, babyish, compared to Joshua’s, which was stronger, with a more chiseled jaw. Handsomer.
Ach, Joshua. Why did he have to go and break her heart, just to prove that he could? Once more, she ordered herself not to cry.
“You.”
She blinked, momentarily thrown off track. What had they been talking about? That’s right—she’d asked him why he’d come back to the Amish. Talk about blunt. She’d never known Luke to be so transparent. “Me?” She didn’t want to feel flattered, but she couldn’t help it. At least Luke was up-front about his feelings toward her. In his eyes, she wasn’t just some conquest to be won.
Joshua, on the other hand, was adept at playing games with her heart. She wouldn’t dwell on that now. Maybe later, when she was alone and could think things through.
“I asked you to kum with me. You said nein. I can’t marry you if I’m on the wrong side of the fence. And I intend to do that, Annie. I wanted it to be this wedding season, but I guess that won’t work out. I talked to Bishop Sol, and he refused to let me start back into classes, even though I took at least half of them before I left. He says I need to think about things, make sure I’m coming back for the right reasons, before I take the instruction classes.”
Annie nodded. “That seems wise.” Bishop Sol had made some pretty controversial decisions recently, especially regarding Shanna Stoltzfus, whom he’d allowed back into the community after she’d left for college and earned a nursing degree. Apparently, the bishop wouldn’t extend the same grace toward Luke. Annie wished she knew why.
And yet, Bishop Sol had also urged the school board to show leniency in her own discipline for taking the scholars on an unauthorized field trip.
Well, he wasn’t likely to explain his reasons to a mere girl.
“I’ll kum by tonight after dark to take you for a walk,” Luke went on. “We can start courting again and then marry, just as we planned, only a
year later. Next wedding season.”
Luke spoke as if everything was settled. But it wasn’t. Not by a long shot. Annie was just thankful he hadn’t persisted in talking about her day with Joshua. He could have accused her of trying to recreate memories she’d made with him, and he could have threatened to expose her to the bishop, or to his daed, but he hadn’t.
No matter. She would still be fired over this. Even if Luke had forgotten where she’d gone, he would remember eventually. And if he was displeased with her for not wanting to marry him, he would have no problem ratting her out.
Nein, she wouldn’t settle for Luke. But how could she decline tactfully? “I don’t know, Luke. I need…we need to pray about this, about us, before we jump into a relationship again. Bishop Sol is right. We need to be sure.”
Oops. She realized she’d left room for a measure of hope—an indication that she might be willing to get back with him. So much for a tactful “Nein.”
“I am sure!” Luke insisted loudly. He gripped her upper arms and gave her a hard shake. She cringed, and he released her, stepping back. “I just don’t want you to be wooed away by that transplant.” Again, he’d almost spat the last word.
“Don’t worry.” She rubbed her upper arms. She’d probably develop bruises there. “There’s no chance of that happening.” Especially since Joshua saw her merely as a trophy to be won. Then, he’d drop her. Cold.
“You’re too levelheaded to fall for a jerk like him.”
Annie held her breath for a moment. “Jah. Jah, I am.” She hoped it sounded like she meant it. Because she knew she didn’t, at least not completely. In fact, she was fairly positive she didn’t mean it at all. Honestly, if Joshua came to her right now, and kept up his sweet act, she’d have just as strong a crush on him. The question was, which man was a bigger jerk? Luke had hurt her physically before. Not seriously, of course, but he’d never apologized. Not once.
Joshua had always treated her with nothing but kindness. And if she spent another day or two like this afternoon with him, her heart would be firmly within his grasp.
Never mind a day or two. It already was.
She loved Joshua Esh.
***
Joshua struggled to focus on the task at hand. He’d situated himself too close to the open shed door, and he couldn’t stop himself from glancing out at the field where Annie and Luke stood, talking. They didn’t appear to be arguing. And that didn’t bode well for him.
Besides, he was a little scared that Luke would tell Annie about how he’d announced his intention to steal her away from him. If she found out about that, whatever would she think? She would conclude that all of his talk about waiting to court until he was sure had been hollow words. That he hadn’t meant them. And that she’d be wise to stay away from him.
Isaac put down the equipment he’d been working on and walked over to the door to peek out at the couple. Maybe he was worried about Annie, too. Or maybe he was concerned because of how often Joshua was spying.
Moments later, Luke raised his hand, turned away from Annie, and set off at a run toward the Schwartzes’.
Isaac sighed. “He’ll kum by again tonight.”
Battling a wave of sadness, Joshua looked up at him. “You think so?”
“Jah. I’d hoped she’d say nein.” Isaac turned away from the door and pulled out his pocket watch. “She’ll be fixing supper soon. You have plans for the evening?”
Joshua forced a laugh. “Nein.” Not since Annie had turned him down. And then gone and accepted Luke, two times in one day.
“Tomorrow?”
“It’s not a church Sunday. Will you be at home or traveling around visiting family?”
Isaac frowned. “At home. My frau, she doesn’t get out anymore, except for doctor’s appointments. I have to hire a driver for those. Maybe family will stop by. Two weeks ago, Lydia’s parents were the only ones who came. Her siblings and aents and onkels didn’t bother. I know my frau is feeling secluded, but I don’t know how to fix it. We could build a ramp to get her out of the haus without having to carry her, but she wouldn’t be able to go any farther than the yard.” He looked around, shaking his head. “Not sure how well a wheelchair would roll out here. And the ground is too rough for a walker.”
Joshua thought for a moment. “They make portable ramps…I’ve seen them in Pennsylvania. They’re metal, and you can fold them up to carry along in the back of a buggy. You could get her into other homes that way. Maybe, if you ask her therapists, they might know where to order one.”
Isaac shook his head. “One of the conditions of home therapy is that she can’t leave home for any reason except a doctor’s appointment. They say she can’t even go out for church. And Bishop Sol decided that, given Lydia’s current condition, we shouldn’t host church services until she’s well. I understand why, but I know Lydia would enjoy seeing people. Though it would tire her out terribly.”
Joshua rubbed his chin, feeling the roughness of a day’s worth of stubble against his fingertips. He glanced out the door again at Annie, who was crouched down, picking up something from the ground. She stood up and tucked whatever it was behind her ear. Her pencil. It had gone all the way to Springfield with her, Joshua realized with a smile.
Quickly, his smile faded, as a lump formed in his throat. If only she’d notice him with her heart’s eyes.
Chapter 15
Annie awoke suddenly and sat up in bed, listening for whatever it was that had roused her. Sure enough, her bedroom window was showered with what sounded like a handful of pebbles. She jumped out of the bed and peered outside, praying she wouldn’t see Luke standing down there. She’d told him not to come, hadn’t she?
But there he stood, holding a flashlight so that it illuminated his face, as he’d always done when they were courting.
With a groan, Annie opened the window and leaned her head out. “Jah?” she hissed.
“I told you I’d kum by tonight.”
She must have imagined telling him not to come. “I’ll be right down.” She wanted to say, “I told you, I needed to pray about it first. Go home.” But she was afraid of what he’d do if she rejected him then and there. She closed the window again, quickly dressed, and then hurried down the stairs, avoiding the squeaky step. She’d wait until she was outside, away from the haus, to tell him to go back home. Otherwise, his temper would probably wake her parents. And Joshua.
She stepped into the dark kitchen, wishing she’d taken the time to grab her own flashlight. Even the almost full moon didn’t illuminate the haus very well. She extended a hand to feel her way around the table and chairs. Two or three steps was all that it took for her to run into something. Hands gripped her upper arms, and she gasped.
“Easy there, Annie,” Joshua said, his tone bemused. “Where are you off to in such a hurry?”
Heat flooded her body, and she stepped out of his arms. “Ach, just…um….” Well, this was awkward. How could she tell the man of her dreams that her former beau was waiting for her in the side yard? She cleared her throat. “What are you doing up?”
“I came down for a glass of water. I thought I heard something.” He flicked on his small flashlight. “And I did. Hear something, I mean.” He paused and, in the dim glow of his penlight, surveyed her with a serious look. She thought he looked almost passionate, like he wanted to kiss her. His gaze flickered over her lips.
Annie felt her heart leap to her throat. He did want to kiss her! Her, Annie Beiler. Worse, she wanted that kiss, with every cell in her body. She held her breath.
For the longest time, he stood there, studying her, as if attempting to memorize every inch of her face. But then, he suddenly blinked and stepped back. “Go on. Your beau is waiting.”
“He’s not my beau,” Annie whispered. Tears welled in her eyes, and, this time, they spilled out, drenching her cheeks. Would she be turning her back on what her heart really wanted by going out to Luke?
“Ach, Annie. Maybe you should tell him that.�
�� Joshua sighed, then reached out with his right hand, his fingertips grazing her damp cheek. He swallowed hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing, as a finger came to rest on her lips. It lingered there a moment before he dropped his hand. “Go. Before I do something I shouldn’t.”
He was right. He shouldn’t kiss her, and she shouldn’t want him to. At least he was man enough not to take advantage of a woman with little self-restraint. That spoke volumes of his character. Maybe it really wasn’t as Luke had suggested. Maybe Joshua actually liked her for her, and not for the sake of his ego.
She blinked the tears from her eyes, wiped her face, and slipped past him, out the door.
***
Joshua stepped over to the kitchen window and watched Annie hurry to meet Luke. His heart ached, and his fingers curled into his palms, the nails digging into his skin. Luke said something to her as he gestured toward the road, and they started walking in that direction.