‘Oh, yes, it is, Fin.’ His voice was silkily soft, dangerously so. ‘I’m obviously perfectly acceptable to you as a lover no one else knows about, but I’m certainly not to be taken home to “meet Mother”!’
She didn’t want him to meet her mother, but that had nothing to do with this. ‘You aren’t my lover!’ she gasped defensively, fiery colour darkening her cheeks.
‘If the telephone hadn’t rung when it had and interrupted us, I would have been!’ He held her gaze, challenging her to deny it if she could.
And Fin knew that she couldn’t. Not now. Not any time in the future. She had wanted him as much as he had appeared to want her. Appeared? He had wanted her!
‘And what would have happened to your relationship with the precious Derek then?’ Jake continued scornfully. ‘I suppose your mother already approves of him!’
As it happened, she had no real idea what her mother thought of Derek, her mother not really ever saying much about him at all. If pushed she would probably say that he seemed ‘nice’. Fin frowned at that realisation. She really would have to ask her mother what her opinion of Derek was. At the same time she was sure that Jake wouldn’t enjoy being called ‘nice’ by anyone! And she wasn’t sure what her mother would feel about Jake, didn’t think she would probably get over the shock of seeing him again enough to express an opinion either way!
‘Oh, just go, Fin,’ Jake told her impatiently now as she didn’t answer his taunt, his expression one of disgust. ‘Come back when you stop being little in emotions as well as stature! If I’m still here then I might be willing to listen to what you have to say to me.’
If he was still there, Fin mulled over dejectedly on the drive from the cottage, implying that she could be wrong about that few weeks’ grace she had imagined she had, that he might leave very soon after all. And she couldn’t bear the thought of him leaving!
It was because she knew she felt that way that she didn’t drive straight home. She needed a little longer to come up with a good excuse for David to withdraw his invitation, and also she knew she owed it to Derek, no matter how she might have wavered yesterday, to be honest with him regarding how she felt about him.
She made the drive to Derek’s flat with the intention of telling him exactly that. She was more than a little puzzled to find he was still in bed, having hastily pulled on a pair of trousers as he’d hurried to answer the ringing of the doorbell. Fin was more than a little shocked when she saw who had been in the bed with Derek!
‘I can explain,’ Derek began to splutter awkwardly as he saw Fin’s gaze pass by him to the woman who had followed him from the bedroom, in the act of tying the belt to Derek’s robe about her waist as she covered her nakedness beneath it.
Sheila. Derek’s secretary. Although she was obviously more than just that!
Fin had met the other woman half a dozen times or so, had spoken to her on the telephone when she’d called Derek, much more than that. She was ten years older than Derek, married, with two teenage children.
Fin’s gaze returned dazedly to Derek; and she had been feeling guilty about the times she had returned Jake’s kisses …!
‘Well, what did you expect?’ Derek went on the defensive as he saw Fin’s astonishment at the whole situation, his face flushed with resentment. ‘I told you days ago I wasn’t about to sit at home night after night, waiting for you to spare me a few minutes of your time!’
Fin could have pointed out that this was the middle of the afternoon, not ‘night’, and that what he had just been doing certainly hadn’t involved sitting! Well … it might have involved the latter, after all, but she certainly didn’t want the details about that either.
‘I think I had better leave you two alone to talk,’ Sheila put in quietly before going back into the bedroom, a tiny, attractive woman with raven-black hair.
Fin didn’t think she and Derek had anything left to talk about. They had obviously both been suffering delusions about their relationship—this afternoon should have proved that, to both of them. And now it was over. Because it was over. Even without the involvement of her own confused emotions towards Jake, Fin knew she wouldn’t have been able to reconcile herself to Derek’s affair with Sheila and just carry on with their own relationship.
Derek glared at her, obviously furious at being caught out in this way. ‘You had better come in— No?’ He scowled as she shook her head. ‘But we need to talk,’ he protested.
She made no effort to step inside the flat, never wanted to do so again, knowing she would always think of him here with Sheila. ‘I only came here today to tell you I don’t think we should see each other any more. I had intended talking to you,’ she admitted. ‘But Sheila’s presence here makes that rather superfluous.’
‘How did you find out about the two of us?’ Derek said accusingly. ‘Some busybody saw us together, I suppose, and—’
‘I had no idea you were involved with Sheila until I arrived here just now,’ Fin cut in firmly, knowing she couldn’t let him think that was the reason she had come here, to try to catch him out with his mistress!
Although she did wonder now about where he had actually been the other evening when she had telephoned him at the end of that early-finishing rehearsal. Had he been here at the flat all the time, with Sheila, and chosen not to answer the telephone? Could that be why he had been so bad-tempered and defensive the next day? Had the expensive perfume been a salve to his guilty conscience? If it had it certainly hadn’t stopped his wanting to continue the affair!
‘I don’t think it’s me you have to worry about any more, Derek,’ she told him disgustedly, sure that her conclusions were the correct ones.
He frowned. ‘You aren’t going to make trouble for me at the office?’
She gave him a pitying glance; was that really all that was important to him, that his job should remain secure? She could see by the resentful flush to his handsome face that it was.
‘I was thinking more of Sheila’s husband and family, actually,’ she said softly. ‘But that’s for the two of you to work out,’ she added flatly. ‘Goodbye, Derek.’
‘But—look—when will I see you again?’ He reached out and clasped her arm.
She was amazed, considering the intimacy of his relationship with Sheila, that he should even want to see her again. What was even more amazing was that he should imagine she would want to see him again after this!
‘Never,’ she told him with a finality that couldn’t be doubted, even by someone as obviously insensitive as him, looking down pointedly at the hold he had of her arm until he slowly released her. ‘I’ll take my business, such as it is,’ she added self-derisively in view of his opinion of her work, ‘elsewhere. And don’t worry,’ she scorned. ‘I have no intention of telling your bosses why!’ She turned and walked away, her head high, her dignity intact.
Derek and Sheila. Incredible. It had never even occurred to her that Derek would take his resentment towards her other interests, namely the Sovereign Players, and use it to excuse his affair with another woman, moreover a woman who was married to someone else. Thank God she hadn’t ever married him, because she had no doubt in her mind now that he would have acted in the same way once they were married if he’d felt the provocation was enough. And what a mess that would have been. The worst of the whole situation was that he didn’t even feel guilty over what he had done, considered it was mainly her fault for leaving him to his own devices night after night! She had thought that that was where trust came into a relationship, knew how she had felt today after her own behaviour with Jake. Obviously Derek wasn’t troubled by the same sort of loyalty.
She was better off without him, no matter that there didn’t seem to be a future for her with the man she did love, either!
* * *
David was alone in the sitting-room, reading the newspaper, when Fin finally got home, having driven around for a while after leaving Derek, but knowing that she ultimately had to go and at least tell David the, truth about J
ake; maybe he would know what to do?
‘Your mother is lying down,’ he told her easily, laying down the newspaper as Fin joined him.
Fin frowned. ‘Is she all right?’ She had never known her mother to rest during the day before.
‘She’s lying down on my instructions,’ David assured her ruefully. ‘Much against her will, I might add,’ he added teasingly. ‘No, she really is fit and well, Fin. I’ve spoken to Dr Ambrose myself, without your mother being aware of it, of course,’ he grimaced. ‘And he says everything is perfectly normal, despite the age thing. The thing is, it’s me, really,’ he looked a little sheepish. ‘I think I’m actually enjoying the role of fussing protector!’
Fin relaxed a little, smiling as she sat down in an armchair. ‘I’m sure Mummy is enjoying your being like that!’
‘She hasn’t told me yet what I can do with my fussing,’ he acknowledged ruefully, ‘so I don’t suppose she minds too much. I hope not, because I have a feeling, as the pregnancy progresses, that I’m going to get worse!’ He winced self-consciously.
‘Mummy will just have to get used to it,’ Fin dismissed distractedly.
David looked at her closely. ‘What is it, Fin? When I telephoned Jake earlier at the cottage he said you were there with him …’ he prompted softly, his gaze searching.
Her eyes widened at his astuteness in realising that it was there that her problem lay, but then, she should have known David would realise there was something bothering her; he had always been very sensitive to her problems through adolescence, so there was no reason to think it would be any different now that she was an adult.
‘I was,’ she nodded. ‘I—um—I was tidying up for him before Gail gets back tomorrow—’
‘You don’t owe me any explanation, Fin,’ David said gently. ‘I told you I thought Jake was impressive.’
Fin gave a heavy sigh. ‘The problem is, David, that impressive isn’t the only thing he is.’ She chewed on her bottom lip. ‘Although he isn’t aware that I know this, Jake Danvers isn’t really his name.’ She gave David a pained look.
David frowned, seeming to think this statement over for several seconds. ‘I wouldn’t jump to any conclusions because of that,’ he finally said slowly. ‘People use an alias more often than we’re, obviously, ever aware. I’m sure Jake has a good reason for using his.’
It was evidence of just how much David liked the other man that he didn’t think Jake’s behaviour in the least suspicious!
Fin stood up restlessly. ‘Oh, he has a good reason for it, David,’ she sighed. ‘One I know only too well!’
David sat forward in his chair, looking up at her frowningly. ‘I’m sure that, whatever it is, Jake isn’t a criminal of any kind. I pride myself on being a good judge of character, and—’
‘I wish I could be as sure I was,’ she told him self-derisively. ‘But if you really think you know people that well … tell me your honest opinion of Derek.’ She watched him closely.
His brows rose. ‘My honest opinion?’ he challenged. ‘Are you sure that’s really what you want?’
‘Perfectly,’ she assured him drily; if he should say anything derogatory about Derek then it couldn’t possibly be any worse than what she already thought of him!
David shrugged. ‘You asked for it—he’s a self-opinionated, selfish, self-centred prig!’
Fin couldn’t help her gasp of laughter at his complete candidness.
He raised innocent brows. ‘Was that what you wanted to know?’
She nodded. ‘I wish someone had told me it earlier—maybe then I wouldn’t have had to find it out the hard way!’
David looked at her searchingly. ‘And did you?’
‘Oh, yes,’ she confirmed with finality. ‘I won’t be seeing him again.’
‘And Jake Danvers—or whatever his name is?’ David probed gently.
‘His name is Jacob Dalton,’ she told him in a rush. ‘Yes,’ she confirmed as he gasped. ‘I’m sure you know who he is—’
‘Angela Ripley’s husband …’ a voice cut in quietly from across the room.
Fin turned sharply, to see her mother standing in the doorway.
CHAPTER TEN
‘YOU’RE sure this is what you want to do?’ Fin moved forward as she sat in the back of the car, her mother in the front, seated beside David. ‘Jake may not even be at home now—’
‘I think we’ll just have to take our chances,’ her mother told her softly.
Fin had been absolutely amazed at her mother’s calmness after being told Jacob Dalton had been living in the area for the last week, that he was, in fact, the new director of Private Lives. Instead of being devastated, as Fin had imagined she would be, her mother had been curious to know more about him; what he was like now, what he had been doing with his life for the last ten years. Fin had been expecting almost hysteria, and instead she had found removed curiosity!
‘I think,’ David had said quietly after Fin’s mother had walked in on them earlier, ‘the important thing here is what restrictions Fin’s knowing Jake’s real identity has put on her feelings towards him.’ He gave her a probing look.
She had fallen in love with him in spite of those restrictions!
‘I thought as much,’ David murmured softly when he saw the tears in her eyes. ‘Fin, your mother never felt any resentment towards Jacob Dalton. If anything, the two of them shared a pain that could have, if they had had the opportunity to spend any time together at all, formed a bond of friendship.’
She shook her head. ‘Mummy has always hated anything that reminded her of Daddy, of the past—’
‘Fin, that might have been true once,’ her mother cut in gently. ‘We all do and say silly things when we’re in pain. And I was in a lot of pain when I got back from America after your father died. I destroyed all his photographs, as you know, refused to have his name mentioned around me, but the truth of the matter is, I got over all that years ago. Nine and a half years ago, in fact, when I first met David.’ She smiled glowingly at her husband, reaching out to clasp the hand he held out to her. ‘I love David very much, Fin. And we’re about to have a baby. Nothing, not even the return of Jacob Dalton into my life, and the memories that that naturally evokes, could upset the happiness I have now, with him.’
‘But—’
‘Not even that, Fin,’ her mother repeated firmly. ‘It’s over. It’s in the past.’
And Fin could see that she meant it, every word, that her own worry about the situation had all been in vain, needless. And she had allowed her apprehension about it to interfere with the natural development of her relationship with Jake.
A fact David had been completely aware of, as he’d looked down at her so searchingly, quietly suggesting it was time they all drove over to Rose Cottage and buried the ghosts of the past forever. Her mother had thought it was a wonderful idea, her goodwill towards the whole world at this particular time in her life extending at least as far as Jacob Dalton, and Fin’s protests that they couldn’t just go there and present themselves to Jake without giving him warning had been to no avail; David and her mother had been adamant.
And so Fin had come with them, all the time wishing herself anywhere but here, about to confront Jake with his past in the worst way possible. She doubted that he would take the coincidence of Jenny Halliwell’s being her mother as calmly as her mother seemed to have accepted his own presence here!
As their car arrived outside the cottage Fin could see Jake over by the Jaguar, about to get inside, although he straightened slowly as he recognised David behind the wheel of the car, his eyes narrowing warily as Fin climbed out of the back of the vehicle.
His gaze raked over Fin with an expression almost of disappointment, barely registering Jenny’s presence there at all, except as Fin’s mother and David’s wife.
Fin looked at her mother anxiously, seeing that she was trembling slightly at seeing this man again after all these years, despite what she had said earlier, although she seemed t
o have her emotions under control, her expression turning to one of curiosity now as she realised that Jake still had no idea who she was. Was she looking for changes in him? Fin wondered. There had to be plenty of those, Fin was sure, and not just physical ones.
‘Jake!’ David moved to shake the other man’s hand warmly. ‘Forgive us for all descending on you in this way, but once Fin arrived home and explained things—’
‘You decided you had no other choice but to withdraw your dinner invitation,’ Jake finished scornfully. ‘You didn’t have to come over here to do that—I was just on my way to see you and tell you the same thing!’
Fin swallowed hard. ‘You were?’
He looked at her coldly. ‘What other choice did I have?’
‘But—’
‘Jake,’ David put in firmly, ‘I would like to introduce you to my wife.’ He turned and held out his hand for Jenny to stand at his side, his hand warm as it clasped hers reassuringly. ‘Jake, this is Jenny,’ he told the other man softly. ‘Jenny, this is— But you know who this is …!’
‘Hello, Jacob,’ she greeted huskily, meeting his gaze steadily as his head jerked up at the correct use of his name rather than the diminutive, frowning at her darkly. ‘It’s been a long time,’ she added ruefully.
Fin watched him anxiously as his gaze moved over her mother searchingly, blankly. And then with dawning comprehension. ‘Jenny …?’ he voiced doubtfully, as if he didn’t believe what his eyes and memory were telling him. ‘Jenny Halliwell?’ He dared to voice the enormity of his thoughts.
‘It’s McKenzie now,’ she corrected with a warm smile. ‘But it was once Halliwell,’ she acknowledged softly.
He seemed to take a few seconds to take this in, his face very pale when he finally turned to look at Fin. ‘Then that makes you …?’
‘Paul’s daughter.’ She nodded reluctantly, waiting for the disgust to enter his face—but feeling just as concerned when it didn’t. Could it be that he really hadn’t known of his wife’s affair with her father? This was going to be so much more difficult to explain if he hadn’t! ‘And you’re Jacob Dalton,’ she added evenly.
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