Jared's holding my face in his hands, his green eyes full of worry as they peer into mine, but I can't seem to focus on him. Even though he's literally right in front of me calling my name, it's like he's a thousand miles away and the only voice I can hear clearly is the one in my head that keeps repeating the same message over and over.
Hanna, my sweet, sweet Hanna. How 'bout we play a little game of trade. You have something I want and now I have something you want. If you want him back...alive, you know how to reach me. And Hanna, don't keep me waiting. I can't guarantee how long I'll be able to resist having a little bit of fun.
The side of my face begins to sting and I realize it's because Jared's slapped me. I blink in confusion, my hand going to the welt forming on my cheek.
"I'm sorry," he apologizes. "I couldn't get you to respond. I've been yelling your name." He kisses my forehead then looks deeply into my eyes, his own heavy with concern. "Can you tell me what's wrong? What did you hear on the phone? Who did you call?"
Blondie's message replays in my head once more. I can't bring myself to say it out loud. If I do, then it's real. If I do, then it means he has Adam, the one person in the whole world I wanted more than anything to protect from all this.
"Hanna," Jared pleads.
I open my mouth to speak, but I still can't bring myself to say the words. Voicemail is all I can get out and even that is garbled and barely comprehensible.
Jared and Will both reach for my phone. Jared get's to it first. Activating my voicemail he and Will put their heads together to listen. I know the exact moment when they get to Blondie's message, a message he left using Adam's phone, a message that changes everything.
Jared drops the phone back onto the counter, then wraps me in his arms while Will grabs a hand full of his own hair, kicks the island cabinets, and lets slip a particular four letter word that rhymes with ‘duck’.
"Someone want to let the rest of us know what's going on?" Eric asks as he looks back and forth between Will, Jared and I.
CHAPTER TEN
In my hand my phone weighs heavy with the fate of not just my brother but Jared too. It wasn't supposed to be like this. Adam was supposed to be safe because he didn't know and now...
The time stamp on Blondie's voicemail was from three hours ago and Blondie said not to keep him waiting, but I didn't know about the message until just now and...
What if my call comes too late…?
What if Blondie's…?
Like all my other thoughts I can't finish this one either.
Seven pairs of eyes watch me, waiting for me to make the call, but I'm afraid. I'm afraid Adam thinks I've already abandoned him because it's been so long. And I'm afraid Blondie's already done something terrible to him for the same reason. And I'm afraid to choose between Adam and Jared because I love them both and I don't want to lose either one of them. How am I supposed to choose one over the other?
I can't.
There has to be another way, any way, and I swear I'm going to find it because I can't let Blondie win. I can't give up my brother and I can't give up Jared. I just...can't.
Swallowing the lump lodged in my throat, I dial Adam's number. My hands shake with each digit I touch. My heartbeats increase with each ring until Blondie's voice comes over the line and my heart comes to a sudden jarring stop.
"Hanna, how nice of you to call. I was starting to get a little worried there." I can hear the smile in his voice. It's all fun and games to him and it makes me sick to my stomach to think about all the ways he could hurt Adam.
"Adam?" I choke out.
"Is still alive, for now. Though I have to admit, I did have a little bit of fun. After all, you did keep me waiting." At the sharp intake of my breath, he laughs.
Choking back the vomit making its way up my throat, I attempt to steady my voice, utterly failing in said attempt when the words come out. "What do you want?"
"What I've always wanted. Bring me Jared and I'll give you back Adam in one piece. More or less."
"Where?" Tears run down my face, dripping from my jaw, as I stare at Jared.
"Someplace public. Someplace fun. Someplace where your Guardian friends will have to play nice." He pauses and I imagine he's grinning from ear to ear in that sadistic, menacing way he always does. I doubt he intends to play nice. "The Iron Knife. Midnight. Middle of the dance floor. It's the perfect place don't you think, since that's where it all began - you, me, and little dead Sammy having fun outside the club in the alley?"
Fear, anger, and an overwhelming urge to throw up everything I have ever eaten in my entire life battle it out inside my body. "I'll be there," I manage to say without my voice cracking.
"I can't wait." He laughs like the jokes on me just before he hangs up.
The phone drops to the floor at my feet with a thud. Near me Jared sits so still he's like a statue. His face is a mask showing no emotion, but his eyes, God his eyes, they show everything, and I can't take it. My breakfast claws its way back up. Covering my mouth with my hand, I dash to the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind me.
I heave until there’s nothing but emptiness left inside of me.
I'll never eat eggs again.
I flush the toilet then drag myself over to the sink to rinse my mouth out with mouthwash. I stare at my reflection in the mirror. My eyes are red and puffy, my face blotchy from crying. I wipe my eyes, forcing myself to get it together because even though I just want to curl up on the bathroom floor and let myself fall apart, I can't. There's too much at stake and not enough time to figure it all out.
I take a few deep breaths then splash some cold water onto my face. I dry off then step away from my reflection. Leaning against the wall, I suddenly feel so heavy and I slide downward until I’m sitting on the floor with my knees pulled to my chest.
How am I supposed to do this?
How am I supposed to trade Jared for Adam?
I rest my head on my arms and begin rocking myself back and forth.
I can't.
I can't trade Jared, and I can't leave Adam, and I don't know what to do.
What am I supposed to do?
A soft knock on the door pulls me from my downward spiral.
"Hanna? Can I come in?" The door opens before I answer. Jared steps in closing it behind him. He sits down on the floor beside me taking my hand in his. It's a long time before either one of us talks.
"I know what you have to do and I'm okay with it." He stares at my hand in his. "It'll be okay. I'll be okay."
"How can you say that? It's not okay. None of this is okay Jared, none of it, and I can't do it. I can't just hand you over to him. I can't."
"You don't have to hand me over because I'm volunteering. He has Adam, Hanna, and if this will save him, then there really is no other choice."
I look at him now and he looks at me. "I don't want to lose you."
"And I don't want you to lose your brother."
I kiss him then, his lips soft and urgent under mine. There's a quiet desperation to it like he's saying goodbye and that this will be the last kiss we'll ever share. I don't want him to say goodbye and I won't say goodbye. I pull him closer. It's not close enough.
Inevitably, he separates from me and the space between us feels like miles, not inches. He stares at me, his eyes roaming over every square inch of my face as though he’s memorizing it. He’s made his decision.
"No, Jared. I won't let you do it. Blondie can't have you and he can't have Adam either." Strength I didn't even know I had begins to build within me the longer I look into his impossibly bright green eyes. And the more I look, the stronger I feel and the more I fall for this perfect boy sitting beside me who's willing to give his life for my brother. "There's another way. There's always another way and I swear with every last breath in me we’re going to find it. I’m not going to let Blondie win."
Hand in hand, Jared and I make our way towards the living room where everyone is congregating. On the sofa, Eric, Logan, and Will co
nverse amongst themselves in hushed tones, while Owen, Luca, and Cassidy carry on their own little conversation near the fireplace along the wall. Once they notice Jared and I, the room falls silent.
"What did he say?" Will asks referring to the conversation I had with Blondie. Someone's moved my phone from the kitchen floor to the living room coffee table and Will's eyes shift from me to it. Avoiding the phone I stare at Will instead, noticing that at some point in time he's put on a form-fitting white tee-shirt and is no longer half-naked.
I squeeze Jared's hand tighter. "He wants me to exchange Jared for my brother and if I don't..." I trail off not wanting to finish, not wanting to say the words out loud. "He wants to meet tonight at midnight in the middle of the dance floor at The Iron Knife."
"No," Eric says immediately. His voice is a bit harsh and I flinch. His face softens as he looks at me. "I know he has your brother Hanna, and I'm sorry, I truly am, but we can’t hand over Jared. We have to think about the bigger picture."
"Well, obviously we can't just hand over Jared," Luca says. "But we can't leave Hanna's brother to die at the hands of a psychopath either." That word—die—hits me hard like a physical thing, knocking me back a step. "We've sworn to protect the innocent from The Fallen," Luca continues. "And what is Adam if not innocent?"
"I know he's an innocent Luca, but what is one life compared to the lives of many if we turn Jared over to The Fallen?" Eric counters. I swear if he lets Adam die without so much as trying to get him back I'll— "But don't get me wrong," Eric continues, cutting off my thoughts. "I'm not saying we shouldn't do whatever we can to get Adam back, I'm just saying handing Jared over can’t be the way." The fisted hand at my side relaxes.
"Maybe we can do a fake trade," Luca suggests.
"And how do you propose we do that?" Eric asks.
"I don't know." Luca grabs ahold of Owen’s arm, twisting it around to see his watch. "But we've got fifteen hours to figure it out."
"There is nothing to figure out." Completely avoiding my eye, Cassidy looks Jared over. "It's too dangerous." She shifts her gaze back to Luca. "Whatever Blondie's plans are for Jared, you can bet your ass it won't benefit any of us. I say it's time we do what Thomas suggested."
"No," Will says flat out and I wonder whom exactly this Thomas guy Cassidy keeps mentioning is and why every time his name comes up Eric and Will shut down his suggestions venomously. What exactly does this Thomas guy want to do with Jared?
"Yes," Cassidy spits back. "Thomas gave you guys a chance to do it your way and it's clear that’s no longer working. To even consider trading or 'fake trading' Jared is the dumbest thing I've ever heard." Luca makes to protest, she cuts him off before he gets a full word out. "Yes, Luca, I know we swore an oath to protect humanity and the innocent and that's exactly what we would be doing if we handed Jared over to Thomas right now." Her brown eyes move to my direction. I used to think brown eyes were warm, like melted chocolate, but not her eyes, her eyes are cold and hard. "I'm sorry Hanna," She's not sorry at all. "But sometimes sacrifices have to be made for the greater good."
Sacrifices have to be made for the greater good?
She talks about Jared like he's not even a person but some thing that needs to be taken and locked away. Well I don't think so. She is not taking him and she is not handing him over to whoever this Thomas guy is. And I'll be damned if she thinks my brother’s life is nothing more than collateral damage.
My teeth clench together, my fingers curling into fists. "No one is handing anyone over to anyone and we are not leaving my brother for dead."
"It's not up to you to decide. You're not even one of us. You're just some stupid girl who got in the way." She sizes me up, finding me worthless by the look in her eye, and I snap.
Blind rage burns through my veins with such intensity it shouldn’t even be humanly possible. The symbol on my wrist ignites further fueling it and on some level I know what I'm about to do is wrong, but right now I don't care in the least bit. Focusing on Cassidy and nothing else I lift my hand; she lifts with it, her feet dangling in the air. Her eyes widen in surprise.
I squeeze my hand into a fist so tight blood pours from my palm and runs down my wrist as my nails dig into flesh. In my mind, I imagine it's her I'm squeezing. She cries out in agony and I know I should probably stop, but I don’t, because I want her to suffer. I want her to suffer like my brother will suffer at the hands of The Fallen.
The room falls into chaos with everything happening at once. Eric, Logan, Owen, and Luca rush to Cassidy who's screaming and clawing at herself, unable to stop the pain, and unable to get down while Jared and Will rush to me. They're grabbing at my arms and shouting things I can't seem to hear because all I can focus on are the sounds of Cassidy's screams and all I can feel is the satisfaction of causing them while also being completely horrified by it.
Jared steps in front of me, filling my vision. "Hanna, you have to stop," he tells me.
Will is still trying to lower my arm, and as I stare at Jared seeing the shocked look in his eyes at what I'm doing to Cassidy, I let him. Releasing my hold, Cassidy falls to the ground, landing hard on the floor. I don't look at her, or at what I’ve done to her, but hearing her coughing and gasping for air in-between cries of pain is suddenly more than I can take as the reality of what I just did sinks in.
"I'm sorry," I mumble without knowing whether I actually mean it or not because I hate her, possibly more than I hate Blondie. And I can't bring myself to look at her. I can't bring myself to look at any of them. And I can't stay in this room one second longer. Turning, I bolt for the door and once I'm outside I run and run without looking back.
***
Time passes, but I have no idea how much. Looking up, I see that the sun is still high in the sky, so it can't be much past noon, which leaves twelve hours. Twelve hours to find a way to save Adam without sacrificing Jared. Twelve hours to find a way to save them both.
"There you are." The sound of Will's voice rises from below. "What are you doing up in a tree? Everyone's looking for you, you know." He starts to climb. Reaching my branch, he straddles it, sitting directly in front of me.
"Who is Thomas and why does Cassidy want to give him Jared so bad?"
Sighing heavily, Will licks his lips then sucks them in to pinch between his teeth. "Thomas is Sam's dad." If Will notices me flinch at that particular revelation he doesn't let on. "After finding out about Jared, Thomas wanted him apprehended. He wants him locked up and monitored at all times until he turns eighteen and makes his choice. And if he makes the wrong choice, then he plans on having him eliminated." Momentarily looking away, he takes a deep breath. "He hates Jared, Hanna. He hates what he is, he hates that he's his wife's secret son, and he absolutely blames him for Sam's death. If Thomas had his way, I'm not sure if he'd even wait for Jared to turn eighteen before he..."
"Killed him," I whisper, finishing for him.
"Yeah." He moves a little closer until our knees are touching. His hair is down instead of slicked up into a faux hawk. Catching in the breeze, it sweeps across his forehead framing the seriousness held in his deep blue eyes. "But that's not going to happen. Sam wouldn't want that, and neither do I."
"What if Cassidy turns him over?"
"She won't."
"How do you know? She’s already more or less threatened to do so and if Thomas... if Thomas..." The tree shudders beneath us sending leaves spiraling to the ground. Will grabs ahold of me not only for support but to calm me before I bring the whole tree down with us in it.
"Trust me Hanna. She's not going to hand Jared over. Not after what you did. She's terrified of you. Besides, I would never let her."
She's terrified of you. Those four words haunt my thoughts and I can't stop myself from thinking about the way Cassidy's face looked all twisted in pain, a pain I caused. I hold my hands up regarding them as dangerous weapons that should be locked away. These hands, directing my telekinesis have already caused so much destruction that I'm afraid
of what I'm capable of doing next. I'm supposed to be one of the good guys. I'm supposed to protect people not hurt them, even if that person is a total bitch. And I know what I did to Cassidy was wrong, but I can't seem to make myself regret it. She threatened two of the most important people in my life and she got what was coming to her.
"What are you thinking?" Will asks.
I look him straight in the eye. "That if I had it to do over, I'd do it again." He bursts out laughing at my brutal honesty and I can't help but smile a little. "If you're laughing does that mean you're not mad at me for what I did?"
"No, I'm not mad," Will says softly. Relief flutters in my chest. "Because I understand why you did it and if I were in your shoes, I can't honestly say I wouldn't have done the exact same thing. I am however, slightly, maybe like this much," He holds his finger and thumb an inch apart. "Afraid of you now."
"Now don't lie Will. You know it's more like this." Taking his hands I spread his arms out wide. "I was pretty scary back there."
He laughs again and nearly falls out of the tree. Regaining his balance, he swings himself down to a lower branch. "Come on, we've got rescue plans to make." Like a monkey he swings from one branch to the other with ease and once he reaches the lowest branch he pushes off in a backflip landing flawlessly in the soft grass. A huge grin spreads over his face as he winks up at me.
Monkey I’m not and it takes me a little longer to climb back down. Not even considering for one second a backflip, I jump the old fashioned way. My foot slips out from underneath me upon landing causing me to stumble right into Will who is entirely unprepared. He falls backwards taking me with him.
"Your landing could use some work, though I can't say I mind the outcome." His fingers brush across my cheek as he tucks strands of blonde and blue hair behind my ear. He smiles in a way that makes my heart flutter when it shouldn't and I immediately mentally reprimand myself. In my defense though, that smile would have made any girls heart flutter, so maybe it doesn't have to mean anything other than that.
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