Unwritten

by Alex Rosa

I’ve had the most incredible day so far, and I’m annoyed for not allowing a day like this to happen sooner. But I guess it had to happen this way.

  We all had to work for this somehow. From dealing with my mom to finding the balance among friends, and oddly enough, to me finding out there’s no way I could stop loving Caiden Anderson if I tried.

  Life is ridiculous that way. Life just won’t allow our heart to let some people go.

  I walk to the edge of the lake, tugging on my sweater as I lift my leg to dip a toe in the slow, lapping waves. My senses take surprising comfort in the brisk cold of the water, reminding me of the bitter cold of the ocean on the west coast. I think about the crashing waves in Santa Monica, a fairly short drive from my apartment in Los Angeles.

  The popular beach area is a place I’d frequent for jogs or a simple stroll on the sand. I always wondered why I head there when I’m in need of clarity when it actually never gives it to me.

  I tried so many times, hoping the ocean would someday make me as happy as everyone else who is drawn to it.

  I know why it didn’t now.

  With my eyes pinned to the lakeshore, I’m able to count almost ten beats before the retreating wave makes an effortless crawl back to the sand without a care in the world. My whole body finds a home in the sight, because it’s a reflection of what this place gives me, and why I love it here.

  While I was gone, I tried the ocean in hopes for that same calm, but never got it. I must have been seeking this familiarity in the turbulence of the ocean, in hopes the sea would smooth out and soothe the homesickness I didn’t know I was suffering from. Instead, the water thrashed against the sand and surfers under the sunshine and had a funny way of reflecting my emotions inside me, even if I didn’t realize it.

  Now I’m here, and it just makes sense. Everything makes so much sense.

  Strong arms come around my waist, spooking me out of my thoughts, and a deep baritone spills over me like thick, warm molasses. “What are you thinking? Please tell me it’s good.”

  I should probably tell Caiden he needs to take a step back. We’ve been doing so well today, but I lose the ability to use my mouth when his nose nudges my head to the side and he places a kiss behind my ear.

  “Hm” is all I got.

  “Nice sunset, huh?”

  I blink open my eyes and see the sun resting just above the tree line, glowing purple as it gets closer to the horizon, the purple blending into a bluish-green with the trees, and it’s stunning.

  “Beautiful, actually.”

  “I’m sure it has nothing on those California sunsets, though.”

  “You’d be surprised what PineCrest has over LA”

  The corner of his mouth twitches and I realize he thinks I mean him, and I let him think it. He wouldn’t be wrong, even if I don’t confirm it out loud.

  “Walk with me?”

  I look over his shoulder to see Cameron and Tyler helping with logs from Brandon’s truck. Brandon is busy looking at CeeCee like she’s his world as he speaks, but the good part is, she’s smiling as she listens, and even if it’s slight, I know they’re making progress, bit by bit.

  The group is on the verge of lighting our small fire for a night of storytelling, laughter, and drinks, and us stealing away for a little doesn’t feel like a crime.

  “Walk where?” I ask.

  He shakes his head. “Stupid question.”

  He starts his strides up the shore, grabbing for my hand, tugging me after him.

  I don’t bother giving my friends a heads-up where we’re disappearing, because I know it would come with a dose of cajoling embarrassment.

  I trail after him, keeping a solid grip on my smile. I stare at his hand wrapped securely around mine. My eyes dance over his tattooed hand, the rockabilly typography reminding me that I want so badly to know what the letters on his knuckles say.

  My eyes are happily distracted when we come up to our tree, the same one we spent many days and nights at as kids. Then I remember our last argument here just weeks ago. Telling him to let me go seems like such a far-fetched idea now.

  He releases me, not when we’ve reached the tree, but instead when we get to the dry sand in front of the water. He plops himself down and pats the space next to him.

  I smile, scanning the surroundings for a brief second to take it in. Serene. It’s the only word that does it justice.

  “You look... good, Hailey,” tumbles gently out of Caiden’s mouth, drawing my vision to his.

  I nod, because I’m guessing he means my carefree state.

  I clumsily take the seat he’s offered. Maybe I’m a bit giddy because I’ve had a few beers, but my gut tells me I’m just happy I get Caiden to myself for the first time since this morning.

  I exhale. “I get you to myself, finally.”

  Caiden doesn’t reveal full-toothy grins often, but when he does, it’s such a win. He lifts his hand, tugging on his bottom lip, and he’s so distractingly handsome. Growing up did him good. The lines of his face and body are so much more defined, just like the soul they hold.

  “Why do you think I stole you away? I was getting bored of Cameron and Tyler arguing over who gets dibs on Olivia Humbolt. It’s obvious that girl wants nothing to do with either of them. Plus, Cameron’s been stupidly looking at you in that bathing suit of yours.”

  “That’s why I put this sweater over it. He doesn’t mean any harm. He’s just been drinking.” I purse my lips, trying to hide the smile I get when I get a hint of Caiden’s jealousy.

  “Can’t really blame him, though.”

  I exhale, chuckling quietly, but my resolve is sincere. “Ya know, I’m glad I’m here with you, Caid. I just feel like I should tell you that. Life is filled with all these funny moments, and time is precious, and I just want you to know that. I need you to know that.”

  “What’s gotten into you?” He laughs, leaning in. I think he’s going to kiss me, but his hands reach for something else entirely.

  Apparently moved by my words, or growing impatient, he grabs for my waist, lifting me onto him. My legs straddle his thighs while my hands take a firm grip of his biceps, needing to steady myself.

  “Caiden,” I shriek through a giggle, but I’m not moving. No way.

  He raises both of his hands to my face, cradling it as he examines me. “It’s sort of unbelievable, isn’t it? How far we’ve come?”

  I nod, a mixture of sadness and happiness twisting around my heart, giving it a gentle squeeze in my chest, because sure, we’ve made it far, but where the hell are we going?

  I peel his hands from my face, holding them between us, finally giving me a moment to examine his knuckles.

  “What do these tattoos say? I’ve been wondering.”

  I lift them both, and the moment the two words become recognizable, a single word on each hand, he says it out loud.

  “Stay true.”

  My face heats when I look up to see Caiden’s eyes on me, hooded, serious, and heavy.

  “Stay true,” I repeat back. “Any special significance?”

  His short huff of a chuckle brushes against my face. “Of course. It’s always been about you, you know that? No matter how hard I tried.”

  I sit up straighter, comfortable on the perch of his lap. I tilt my head to examine his stern look, but there’s a bit of apprehension behind that deep green glimmer.

  I really love the way Caiden looks at me. He cares what I think.

  He continues, “I got trees and the forest, and all these picturesque places tattooed on my body, and then I realized that all these places were special to me because they were places that meant something to us. It’s funny really, to know that all the things you love were because of another person. It’s annoying, actually,” he says playfully.

  I grit my teeth. He laughs, leaning close enough to place a chaste kiss on my lips before pulling away.

  “Even those words, stay true. I got them to be a reminder to stay true to who I am, to what I need, to f
ollow my heart. The problem is, Hails, you rule those, too. I tried for the longest time to pretend it wasn’t true. I repressed the fact for so long, begging for some other purpose—which totally contradicted the words. Then...” He sighs. “It all comes back to that moment I saw you in the bar, or maybe when I kissed you in the station. It was game over. If I didn’t push myself to have you, then those words wouldn’t mean shit. Stay true means staying true to myself and you.”

  He releases a long breath, as if he’s just revealed a secret. The corner of my mouth lifts when I catch his transition into caution, watching me process his explanation. His large hands are still being held by mine, my thumb tracing over the word Stay.

  I want to say something, but words don’t feel powerful enough. It’s ironic since I’m a writer, but with him in front of me, my legs wrapped around him, my skin over-sensitized and slick with the summer evening, the sun nearly gone over the horizon, and my heart trying to find a way to beat out of my chest, I do the only thing that seems appropriate.

  I lift his hand slowly upward. I watch the slow, apprehensive bob of his Adam’s apple in his throat as I bring his knuckles to my lips, kissing each letter lightly.

  When I’m done with his knuckles, I lift his arm higher and pepper kisses over the tattoo on his forearm, tracing my lips over my hidden initials among the woods that remind him of us.

  I hear a quiet groan leave Caiden before he pulls his arm out of my grasp so he can grab my face, pulling my mouth to his. It teeters on frantic, his lips nearly bruising mine. I wrap my arms around his neck. I choose Caiden over oxygen as I pull him as close as possible, pressing my lips into his.

  His tongue coaxes my mouth open, diligently tasting me.

  I breathe him in, soak in him, devour him, focusing and loving how every synapse in my body is on the verge of short-circuiting when his hands trail heavily down my chest, over my thin sweater, stopping at my hips, pressing me harder into his, feeling his erection against my throbbing core.

  The feeling it elicits is almost too much, making my mind fuzzy with need as I pull away in a tight gasp, keeping us nose-to-nose.

  “Caiden,” I groan, knowing I don’t want to budge, but I ache for more, and wonder if this is one of those moments I should slow down.

  “Don’t you dare think right now, Hailey Elwood.”

  I giggle, shaking my head, the tip of my nose delicately rubbing against his, fighting logic, love, and lust. “Playing hard to get is getting... hard,” I sigh.

  With the night sky reflecting off the surface of the lake as the only source of light, I can still see the shadows of Caiden’s smile as it stretches across his face triumphantly.

  “Why make us both suffer, then?” he replies.

  “I don’t know,” I chide. “Seems like the right thing to do. I thought you’d be the one suffering, though, not me.”

  He laughs. “Don’t stop kissing me, Hailey. You know you want this as much as me, and that’s okay...”

  “See, now you’re not playing fair, because I don’t follow orders, Caid—”

  His lips cut me off. The brash contact is exactly what my body needs more of. His mouth presses hard into mine.

  “You are so difficult,” he says between our lips.

  A skirting giggle escapes me between his possessive capture of my mouth. I meet him for every lapping stroke as my tongue dips into his, eager for more.

  We are definitely breaking the boundaries, but I don’t care anymore.

  “Why do you make me beg?” he whispers as he pulls his lips away from mine to begin a trail down my neck.

  “Because I can. I can’t let you think this’ll be easy,” I breathe out.

  His fingers dig into the flesh of my thighs as he squeezes. “I think you just like to drive me crazy.”

  “That, too,” I hum, reveling in the smooth drag of his lips over my collarbone.

  I wrap my arms around his neck. Looking over his shoulder, I note that the glow of the bonfire is far off in the distance on the shoreline. My eyes sink to a close, absorbing the sound of the lapping lake waves and the feeling of Caiden’s lips trailing back up to my own.

  My mouth is eager for their return. I press mine to his frantically. His returning growl is one that rocks my insides, shooting quivers down my legs. As if his hands can sense it, they slowly drag upward. My core throbs for him to get closer with each slow inch. I teasingly press my hips into his. He releases another groan.

  “Hailey...” he whispers, his sentence trailing off against my lips. “It’s like we’re seventeen all over again.”

  “Who says you’re going to make it to home base on the shore, Caiden Anderson?” I smile against his mouth.

  His hands against my thighs rise with fevered determination suddenly as he takes a good hard grip of my ass, pushing me into the bulge of his swim trunks.

  “I do.” He grins as he slides the sandpaper scuff of his chin across my jaw before placing a kiss on my thumping pulse point.

  My hips reflexively press themselves into his. An explosion of need rips through me. It’s as if he just tapped into the deepest corner of my psyche: a carnal need buried among the memories I tried forgetting, but that was always there, waiting to be unleashed.

  “Tell me you want me, Hailey, so I know I’m doing the right thing.”

  I grab for his face, crashing my lips to his, pressing into him, my body and soul seeking relief in so many different ways.

  “I want it. I want you,” I mumble through rushed kisses.

  A moan of approval escapes him as his fingers hook under the strings of my bathing suit bottom.

  I dip my tongue into his mouth, tasting him, devouring him in a way that screams more need than want.

  I can feel his fingers fumbling for the strings, until I feel a gentle pull on the bikini, and I’ve never been more thankful for their structure when the fabric falls from my body.

  His large hand curves over my sex, and I’m so riled up, I push myself into his palm, his fingers trailing between my folds to the opening of my sex, teasing the entrance at first before slipping one, then two fingers inside.

  I buck against his hand, my body drenching his fingers.

  “Holy shit,” he groans against my mouth, starting an in and out rhythm with his hands as he says, “I’ve wanted you so bad, for so fucking long.”

  My hands drag down his chest, trying to keep my goal in sight while keeping a leash on the rampant pleasure rolling through me. I reach the waistband of his swim trunks, unbuttoning them, not hesitating a second before slipping my hand inside, getting a hold on his hard cock, dragging my hand up and down the shaft in sync with his fingers inside me.

  “I need you,” I breathe against his mouth, my thumb working the tip of his length.

  He huffs out a frustrated breath and pulls away, his eyes in a frenzy and his hips bucking into my hand. “I don’t have a condom.”

  My skin feels on fire, and I can already feel a light sheen of sweat over my body with the evening humidity.

  “I’m on the pill,” I sigh. “I’ve never been with anyone without a condom.”

  “Neither have I.” He pauses to groan, my grip on his cock gently tightening. “But that’s a lie. Technically, we both have.”