by Odette Stone
“It was long.”
“And now you’re at work?”
“About to get on the bird.”
“You’re getting on a helicopter?”
“Yup. They’re just loading up.”
“Oh.” I tried to imagine Jackson in his environment. “Are you wearing a uniform?”
“Yeah, we’re geared up.”
I was exhausted. I could not imagine having to start work this late at night after a six hour car ride. It sounded brutal. “I wish you had gotten some sleep.”
“I’ll sleep on the flight.”
“Okay.”
A short pause. “I applied for housing for us. There’s a waiting list for houses, which I expected.”
“Oh. How long do you think it’ll take?”
“Not sure. Could be up to four months.”
Four months? That seemed like an interminable amount of time. I would probably be as big as a house. I still couldn’t wrap my brain around the fact that I was actually having a baby. Would I not see him until then?
“You still there?” he asked.
“Yes,” I cleared my throat. “Just doing some mental calculations.”
“About what?”
“About how big my stomach is going to be in four months.”
He laughed. “Look whatever happens, we’re just going to make it work, okay? Don’t fret.”
“Okay.”
“Emily, I’m going to be out of touch here but you can text me. I’ll get my texts.”
“Are you going to be safe?” I felt an inordinate amount of anxiety about his departure.
“Oh yeah, we’re just training.”
A male voice spoke to him. “Hey MacDog, get off the phone with your therapist.”
I heard him laugh.
“Did someone just call you MacDog?” I was just getting a glimpse of his world. It was so very different than anything I could have imagined.
“Yeah. That’s my name around here. So what are you going to do this week?”
“Tomorrow the movers are coming to pack and move me to the penthouse. I have an appointment with a realtor to post the loft for sale. She is going to help me stage the place.”
“What about Matt’s stuff?”
“I texted him and asked him to send me an address so that I can arrange for movers to send him his stuff.”
“Huh.” I couldn’t read his tone over the line. “You going to be okay?”
“The movers will help with everything and I have Martha to help me.”
“You can tell her that I still dream at night about her pancakes.”
I laughed.
“Those were some of the best pancakes I have ever had in my life.”
“She will love that.”
“Have a good night, Mrs. Hunter.”
My whole body reacted to his voice calling me Mrs. Hunter.
“Stay safe.”
“Always.”
I hung up the phone and stared into the dark. Did he feel weird about this? He seemed so normal on the phone.
I tossed on my side and punch my pillow a few times. I just needed to take this a day at a time and not freak out.
Chapter 11
The next day I was doing some last minute packing to move back to the penthouse. The movers were scheduled to show up any minute. Footsteps sounded and then Matt was walking into the loft.
“Matt.” I tried to hide my surprise.
“You and Jackson took off so quick on Wednesday. You didn’t even say good-bye,” Matt’s voice sounded sulky.
“Was your mom okay?”
“Yes, she was fine.”
We stood there looking at each other.
He cleared his throat. “I’m sorry I jumped out of the way. It was more instinct than anything. I didn’t mean to put you in danger.”
He seemed sincere. “That’s okay. It all worked out.”
“So has Jackson gone back to Virginia?”
“Yes, he left yesterday.”
He looked over at the boxes. “I got your texts about you moving out. That’s actually why I’m here.”
I stared at him, feeling a sense of anxiety grow in my stomach. “Okay.”
“I want to give this another shot. We need to make a go of this.”
“Matt.”
“No, hear me out. I really mean it, Emily. I think that the last two months have been crazy. Crazier than anyone could possibly handle, but that doesn’t mean we have to keep reacting to the crazy. I love you and you love me.”
“Matt…” I floundered. Why was it always so hard to be upfront and straight with this man?
“I didn’t realize just how scared and alone you felt until you publicly proposed to Jackson.” He gave a half laugh. “I mean, you really put the guy on the spot there, but you need to know that you aren’t alone here, Emily. I’m here for you and I want us to get married. I know we can have such a beautiful life together.”
He was absolutely convinced that this is what was going to happen. Matt had unfaltering confidence.
“Jackson and I got married.” I blurted it out.
He took a step back and slowly shook his head. “No.”
“We went to the courthouse yesterday.”
“You’re telling me that you’re actually married.”
“Yes.” My voice was small.
Matt’s face looked flushed. His lips pulled back, and he almost snarled. “Well, that was a very stupid thing to do, Emily.”
“Matt….”
I shook my head. “That’s not true.”
He rolled his shoulders. “You think Jackson wants a wife much less a baby? When I suggested to him that I was willing to step in as a father and to marry you, he couldn’t get on board fast enough.”
I felt my heart freeze into a solid lump. “He told you that?”
Matt gave a sharp laugh. “You still don’t get it, do you?”
“Get what?”
“The only reason why Jackson messed with you is because he was trying to get to me. It has been like that my entire life.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“Jackson only dates blondes. Tall, leggy blondes.”
I lifted my chin a notch. I could feel the blood pumping wildly in my veins. “So?”
“So, you are a tiny redhead. No offence, but you would’ve never been a ping on his radar. You want to know why Jackson and I are at odds? He’s not a nice person. He came into my life when I was seven and our family never recovered. He’s been trying to ruin my life since the day I met him.”
“You’re lying.” My lips felt numb.
His laugh was harsh. “Why would I lie about that? Have you ever asked yourself why I have never brought up his name nor invited Jackson to be part of our lives? You have no idea what you are dealing with. I can’t believe you married him.”
“Jackson is the father of this baby.”
He shook his head in disgust. “No, he is not. He merely donated his DNA and impregnated you. But that man will never be a father to that child. You need a heart and some emotions to actually parent a child. Jackson has neither.”
I had to take a few deep breaths while his harsh words sunk into my body. Cold fear snaked up my back.
“Why would he marry me if he didn’t want to be part of this child’s life?” My argument sounded weak to my own ears.
Matt shook his head. “I knew you were naive but I didn’t realize that you were such a fool. Jackson wants to fuck with me. And it doesn’t hurt that he married someone that has more money than he knows what to do with. Sure hope you signed an ironclad prenup.”
My eyes widened in shock.
He rolled his head. “You really did it. I tried to protect you, but you’ve got nothing but heartache and pain ahead of you. It devastates me that I couldn’t save you.”
I stood there for a long time after he walked out.
***
Jackson: How did the move go?
***
Beth sat on my couch beside me and lis
tened to me pour my heart out about everything that had happened, including my shotgun wedding and my last conversation with Matt.
“Matt’s being a dick,” she said decisively, but I could tell that she was hiding her worry.
“Do you think I made a mistake? What if Matt is right? I mean, what do I really know about Jackson?”
“I hate that Matt is still fucking with you.”
“What if Jackson did all of this to get back at Matt?”
We stared at each other for a long moment. She squinted. “Well, to get someone pregnant and marry them is a pretty elaborate plan to mess with someone else. He could have just beat up Matt or something.”
I let out a big breath. “You’re right.”
“Besides, Jackson was nice right from the get go. He fixed your car and he helped you with your wedding.”
I dropped my face in my hands and moaned. “But why would someone like Jackson even want to marry someone like me? It makes no sense that he even slept with me in the first place.”
She reached out and touched my arm. “When you’re with him, what does your gut say?”
I tried to remember. I loved how protective he was. How after I had been attacked he had sat and watched me sleep. How he was so playful with Chloe. This is a man who picked up a broken sad dog off the side of the road. “He saved Chloe from eminent death.”
She nodded. “Yes, he totally did. Matt would have driven on by but Jackson went out of his way to save your dog.”
I looked around the room. “And he save my life too.”
“Yes, yes! These are not actions of a cold-hearted guy. Plus he got punched in the face standing up for you at your wedding.”
I took a deep breath. “Yeah.”
She rubbed my arm. “Don’t let Matt get in your head. He’s just being a jerk about all of this.”
I looked around the loft in anguish. “What if Matt is right? What if Jackson married me for my money?”
She sighed and gave a little shrug. “I don’t know the answer to that. He doesn’t seem like the type to me.”
I inhaled. “I just feel so weird. It’s been three days since he left and now he is gone. When he’s around me it all makes sense. When he’s gone, I’m constantly questioning everything.”
She patted my hand. “The moment you get out there, things will get easier. Everything will be perfect when you get there.”
Chapter 12
Jackson: You around? Haven’t heard from you.
***
Three more days passed by. I felt terrible about ignoring Jackson but I just felt really weird about stuff. Matt had planted some serious doubts in my mind and it felt like someone had ripped the blinders off my eyes. What if Jackson had only slept with me to mess with Matt? Matt said that he only dated tall blondes. I had a vision of the hostess from the other night at the restaurant and the jealousy that washed through me almost made me physically sick.
Matt hadn’t lied about the fact that he hadn’t ever brought up Jackson’s name. He had kept Jackson carefully hidden. It was only when he had gotten sick that he had been wild and reckless enough to invite Jackson into our lives.
Still, I couldn’t reconcile Matt’s version of Jackson with my own. Jackson seemed to me to be a man of great honour and character. It didn’t jive with Matt’s rendition of a heartless, emotionless man who’s only goal was to harm and manipulate. But then again, I was a terrible judge of character these days. I didn’t trust myself.
***
The doctor walked into the examination room and looked at me, “How are you feeling?”
I lay back on the table. “Good.”
“Looks like you are about 13 weeks pregnant?”
I blinked. Had that much time passed already? “Yes.”
“Any nausea?
“Almost none.”
“Have you felt any contractions or heavy cramping?”
“No.”
She took my blood pressure. “Your numbers are good. Have you been walking?”
“Swimming and walking.”
“Baby loves it when mom does light exercise.”
I wanted to look over my shoulder and see who she was talking about. It was a surreal experience to be referenced as the mom in this situation.
“So do you have any questions for me before I do your ultrasound?”
“Are you sure I’m pregnant?”
She smiled. “I’m sure you’re pregnant. Why do you ask?”
I looked down at my hands. “I don’t know. I don’t really feel anything. About the baby yet. I feel tired and I have to pee more but that’s it. I don’t feel anything. Shouldn’t I feel some emotions or something?”
She put my chart down. “You know there is a reason why a pregnancy is nine months. Biologically, it’s so that the baby can grow enough to sustain life outside of you, but it’s also a time that you and dad can get used to the idea. What you are feeling is very common among a lot of women.”
“It is?”
She reached out and squeezed my hand. “It is. Now why don’t we do the ultrasound? Sometimes seeing your baby can really help. And we can take a nice photo to give to dad. Sorry he couldn’t be here today.”
“He’s away for work right now.”
She pressed the wand against my stomach. She turned the monitor towards me. “Look mom. There is your baby.”
At first I couldn’t see anything, it just looked like a grey smeared abstract painting on the screen. And then I could see it. It almost looked alien. With a big head and a little body. Two arms and legs. Kicking and jerking in a slow weird motion.
I stared in stunned amazement at the screen. “That’s my baby?”
“That’s your baby,” she said with a smile.
“Inside of me? That baby is inside of me?” I sounded like a complete idiot but I couldn’t quite wrap my head around this. I watched as the little alien kicked and stretched its legs out. I looked down at my still mostly flat stomach. “I can’t believe that’s in me.”
She typed on the computer. “So baby is just over 3 inches long. It’s roughly the length of a pea pod. And it weighs about an ounce. Have you been reading any baby books?”
I shook my head. “No.”
“There are a few books that we recommend.” She smiled at me. “Reading about your pregnancy might also help you feel a bit more connected.”
Tears blurred my eyes. “I never really processed that there’s a baby inside of me.”
She pressed a button and then the machine whirled. We watched as the photo came out of the machine and she handed it to me. “Give that to dad. That might make it a bit more real for him too.”
The photo was clear. You could see the side of the baby’s head, an eye, a tiny nose. One tiny hand waving. Legs up, one tiny foot visible. I nodded, my heart in my throat.
I looked at the doctor, realization dawning on me. “I’m having a baby.”
She beamed at me. “You’re definitely having a baby.”
Chapter 13
Jackson: Hello?
I stared at the text on my phone. I was standing in the pregnancy book section of the bookstore. I was still in shock over my doctor’s appointment.
Me: Hi
My phone started to ring. It was from a number I didn’t recognize, but even so, I knew it was Jackson.
“Hello?”
“Emily, what’s going on?” The sound of his warm low voice washed over me. I stood staring blankly at the books in front of me.
“”What do you mean?”
“Well, you’ve been MIA. You freaking out?”
I felt my eyes blur with tears. Remembering how Matt had told me that Jackson had tried his damnedest to not marry me. That he only like tall blondes and that the only reason why he had been with me was to screw with Matt.
“A bit.”
“What’s going on?”
I swallowed, the tears were clogging my throat preventing me from speaking.
“Use your words, sweethea
rt.”
“Matt talked to me.”
Silence screamed down the line between us.
His words were slow and pronounced. “What did he say?”
I sniffed. “It’s fine.”
“It’s not fine if you’re crying.”
“I don’t want to talk about it on the phone.”
A long pause hung between us. “Well we’re going to have to talk about it on the phone because that’s the only form of communication we have right now.”
“I thought you wouldn’t be able to call me this week.”
“You gonna tell me what Matt said to you?”
Another pause.
Halting, “Matt said that you didn’t want to marry me and that you wanted me to marry him.”
“Completely untrue.”
“He also said that you only date tall blondes.”
“What does that have to do with anything?”
“Well, I’m not tall or blonde and not your type and so he said that the only reason why you messed around with me was so that you could get to him.”
“Is that what he told you?”
“Yeah.”
“And you believed him?”
“I don’t know.”
Another long pause and then he was speaking low and quiet into the phone. “You want to know why I messed around with you?”
I sniffed again. “I’m not sure.”
“Do you want to know?”
I did but I didn’t. I looked at the ceiling. “Okay.”
“I didn’t want to mess around with you. You were so off limits it wasn’t even funny. You were in love and engaged to Matt. But I couldn’t keep my fucking hands off you.”
“What?”
“That’s the truth. I didn’t want you, but I had to have you. I crossed so many lines with you that went against everything I believe in but I couldn’t stop myself.”
I leaned my head against the bookshelf. “Really?”
“That’s the truth.”
“Oh.”
Another long pause while I tried to process that. Jackson had wanted to be with me. It had nothing to do with Matt. My entire body tingled at that admission. Flashes of him kissing me, touching me, moving on top of me rolled through my mind.
“You done freaking?”