My Fiancé's Brother (The Guilty Series Book 2)

by Odette Stone

  His voice was anguished. “I’m so fucked up.”

  “No, your not.”

  “Chris knew me. You don’t know me. If you did, you would hate me.”

  I had no words. The only comfort I had was to hold him tight.

  When I woke up, he was gone.

  Chapter 41

  Jackson was in mourning. He didn’t talk. He didn’t smile or laugh. He was dutiful in his duties of taking Chloe for walks or helping me around the house, but the man I knew was missing. He had completely withdrawn into himself.

  I didn’t understand him, but I did understand grief. So I did my best to be there for him. I made dinner for him. I was home when he came home. We were two silent strangers living together. It was breaking my heart, but I knew enough to not push him on anything. This pain was something he needed to work through on his own.

  He never asked me about my life, but even worse, he completely stopped talking about Alien. He seemed to have lost all interest in both of us.

  ***

  Two more weeks passed. Jackson, for all intense purposes, might as well have been deployed. He was completely withdrawn and didn’t even notice when my cast had been removed. We just coexisted together. We were two roommates who never talked.

  At dinner, I watched him eat, and then I decided to press my luck a bit.

  “I have an ultrasound scheduled tomorrow for 5 PM.”

  Green eyes looked at me.

  “Did you want to come?”

  He slowly nodded his head. “Sure. Text me a reminder.”

  “Okay.”

  ***

  The next day, I waited outside the clinic until 4:59 PM. There was no sign of Jackson.

  Me: At our appointment. Are you running late?

  No response.

  With a sore heart, I went into the appointment by myself.

  The technician asked me if I wanted to know the sex of the baby. My eyes filled with tears. This was a decision that we were supposed to make together.

  “No thanks.”

  She gave me a sad smile.

  ***

  I cried on the way home. I had no idea how to deal with this situation. Did I give Jackson more time? Did I confront him? What was I supposed to do? I thought losing him to Harper would be the worst thing in the world. But this, this was worse. He didn’t want to be comforted. He didn’t want my love. He was pushing me away and there was nothing I could do about it. How long would this last? How long until the delicate relationship that we had started to cultivate was completely shredded.

  When I came in the door, Jackson was standing in the kitchen on his phone. He didn’t even glance up when I walked in.

  Suddenly, I was so angry. I put my bag on the counter.

  “Where were you?”

  He looked up at me. “What are you talking about?”

  I swallowed my pain. “We had an ultrasound appointment.”

  He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment. “Fuck. Emily. I’m sorry.”

  “I waited for you.”

  His eyes narrowed on my face. “I thought you were going to text me a reminder.”

  “I did. I texted you the address. And then I texted you at 4:30 and at 5 PM. Neither text you replied to.”

  He shook his head. “I didn’t see any texts.”

  “I texted you!” I said, feeling so pissed. So hurt.

  He tossed his phone onto the counter. “Can we drop it?”

  I stood there and watched as he walked out into the backyard. I snatched up his phone to see if he had gotten my texts.

  I stared at his phone in disbelief. The guy wasn’t even bothering to read my texts. All my texts were on his phone. They were just unread. Tears blinded my eyes. I stood there looking down at his phone.

  Harper’s name was also in his message list. Frowning, I swiped onto her name. All of her texts were being read.

  I shook my head in disbelief. Was this really happening to me? What was she saying that was so important that he was reading all her texts and not mine? I looked up at Jackson who was standing on the deck, with his back to me. Yes. I was going to be that chick.

  I clicked on her name.

  I started to scroll through her texts.

  ***

  Harper: I forgot to tell you. The other day, I was running and I had this huge runner’s high. And then, out of nowhere, I orgasmed. Remember the first time I had an orgasm when we went running? I can still remember how hot that made you when you realized what had happened to me.

  ***

  Harper: I know you said you are married and not available, but recent events makes me think otherwise. All I can think about is how much I want you to put your face between my legs until I scream.

  Attached was a picture of her on a bed, her legs spread and wearing no fucking underwear.

  I stood there transfixed. Staring at the picture. Wanting to throw his phone across the room. I hated her.

  ***

  Harper: I want you to make me beg. I want you to fuck me until I can’t feel my legs. I want to scratch my nails down your back. And when you give me that knowing smile, I know you want the same thing.

  ***

  Harper: Want to run again today? Same place, same time?

  ***

  Harper: I’ve been thinking of you all day. I can’t get you out of my mind. I can tell you’ve been thinking about me too. When am I going to see you next?

  ***

  I stood there feeling like my heart was shattering into a million pieces. My hands were shaking. My heart was pounding so hard. My husband was being sexted by his ex-girlfriend. She was sending him dirty pictures and dirty texts detailing all the dirty things they used to do or things she wanted to do. Pure rage coursed through my veins.

  With ice control, I carefully set his phone down on the counter. He had read every single one of her texts but none of mine. I was devastated.

  Without saying a word to him, I picked up my bag and walked back out of the house. Chloe obediently followed me out to the car.

  Suddenly I was driving on the highway with the huge gates and the stern looking guards in my review mirror. I didn’t even know where I was going. I just needed to drive. By the time I pulled into Newport, I was shaking. I pulled over at the boardwalk. I just needed a minute to collect myself.

  I let Chloe out of the car and watched as she raced across the beach. I was pretty sure I was in a state of shock. I staggered to a bench and sat down.

  My phone rang. It was Jackson calling. I hit ignore.

  I couldn’t do this anymore. I could not. Jackson was so obviously over this marriage. He hadn’t read a single one of my texts. I wondered how many time he had stared at the crotch shot of Harper.

  Jackson: Emily. Call me.

  Jackson and I were not a couple. Nope. Jackson was in an emotional partnership with Harper. They were the couple. Maybe Jackson had resigned himself to committing to this marriage but the person he really wanted to be with was her.

  My phone started ringing. It was Jackson again. I hit ignore.

  Jackson: Emily. Answer your phone.

  I watched as Chloe walked along the sand, her nose to the ground. I needed a plan. I was sitting on a beach in Virginia with my dog and my purse. I needed to figure out what to do next. I could go home to New York, but that didn’t really appeal to me. Maybe I could just drive down the coast? Take a week to just come up with a better plan than that. Chloe and I could hang out on the beach. We could buy some clothes and dog food.

  It was a good a plan as any.

  Jackson: Tell me where you are.

  I stood up. “Come on Chloe. Let’s go.”

  As we walked back to the car, Jackson called again. I powered off my phone and tossed it on the dash.

  ***

  I drove for an hour along the coast line in the opposite direction of New York.

  Jackson loves Harper.

  Jackson will never love me.

  The words were stuck on repeat in my head. It was alm
ost a relief to realize it. You get so wound up about ‘what ifs’ and worry about every aspect of it, that when it ends, you just think, okay it is over. It’s done. I gave it my best shot and I failed. Now the struggle is over. Jackson literally took his big hands and ripped open my heart to a mushy mess. But there is a certain comfort with hitting rock bottom.

  I had no business being part of Jackson’s life. We didn’t know each other. Now we were just two strangers that were forced together because of a baby. It was the worst reason to get married. And now I was ending our marriage. It was the only sane thing to do.

  I swung into a Walmart. I picked up some essentials. I also bought some dog food for Chloe. I drove another hour and then when I could barely keep my eyes open, I checked into a motel that was dog friendly. I took a long shower and climbed into bed with Chloe. I curled up around her and went to sleep.

  Chapter 42

  After a tragedy, the best part of your day is those first few seconds when you wake up, because for a moment or two everything is fine. Then as your mind wakes up, you remember, and then pain snuggles up against your heart. I lay there in bed, feeling almost incapacitated by how bad I felt.

  I thought I would feel better in the morning, but I felt decidedly worse. I was essentially on the lam. Running away from my husband. I had absolutely no idea where to go or what to do next. All I knew is that I needed to be alone. I missed him. I thought that my love would be enough to make everything okay between us, but all it was doing was crushing me.

  Yes he was in mourning. He was grieving the loss of his friend, but he was also in the process of letting go of this relationship. He was pushing me back so far. He was making his choice. He wanted nothing to do with us anymore. The fact that he was reading Harper’s texts but not mine told me everything.

  I sat on the edge of the bed, floundering in my pain. He was committed to me. He would remain the faithful and dutiful husband, but I realized that I wanted more. I needed more. I wanted and needed him to care about me. That is something that would never happen.

  I loved him with all my heart but it wasn’t enough. A successful partnership required both people to love. He loved Harper and he would never love me. I had thought that with his interest in Alien that somehow it would be okay. He would love our child and I would love him and somehow we would make it work. But now his disinterest in Alien was clear.

  I needed to find the strength to leave this man. My heart might be shattering over the loss of him in my life, but for my baby’s sake, I needed to do this. I would not raise this baby in a home where it’s father was indifferent and unable to care.

  ***

  I heard a knock at the door. I don’t know what I thought. Perhaps it was housekeeping. What I was not expecting was to swing open the door and see Jackson standing there, filling the entire door space. He was wearing the same clothes he had been wearing last night, but he had added a baseball cap. He looked exhausted. How had he found me? What was he doing here? What did he want?

  “How did you find me?” I stammered, my hand on my neck.

  “Emily, I am a navy SEAL. It is my job to find people.”

  “I didn’t want you to find me.”

  He gave me a measured look. “Can I come in?”

  My heart was beating again. I hated how hope surged through my body. I was such a sucker for punishment. I stepped back. He walked in and immediately the room felt smaller. I crawled to sit on the bed. And then I waited.

  He leaned against the wall across from me and crossed his arms.

  “Want to tell me why you walked out?”

  I refused to answer.

  He tried again. “Is this because I missed the ultrasound?”

  The man was clueless. “Why bother following me? Why not stay back with your slutty girlfriend?”

  “What are you even talking about?” His voice was exasperated.

  “Harper.”

  “Harper is my ex-girlfriend. You’re my wife. Understand the difference. Why are you so stuck on her? She’s history.”

  “I’m not a fucking idiot, Jackson.”

  “I never said you were.”

  “I saw her texts. All of them. The sexting…where she is talking about her orgasms while running with you….or how she wants you to put your face between her legs until she screams…or the best one is when she talks about how you will fuck her until she can’t feel her legs and she attached a nice shot of her crotch while wearing no underwear.”

  “You looked at my phone.”

  “I did. And I noticed that you read all of her texts but you haven’t bothered to read a single one of mine.”

  His expression didn’t change.

  I crossed my arms. “You’re a fucking liar.”

  “How am I the liar.”

  “You just told me that she is history. Doesn’t seem that way to me.”

  “Did I text her back?”

  “No.”

  “I’m not engaging with her.”

  “Why is she sexting you? You’re married.”

  “I’ve made that abundantly clear to her.”

  “She needs to leave you alone.”

  “Emily, she is just trying to raise shit and it’s working.”

  “I hate her!” I yelled.

  He walked towards me and then he was crouching in front of me. Looking up at me with his beautiful green eyes. He took my hands in his. “I’m so sorry.”

  My lips started to tremble. “I thought if I loved you, it would be enough.”

  “It is enough.”

  I shook my head. “It’s not.”

  “Don’t give up on me.”

  I look down into his green eyes. He was so serious. I could feel my aching heart slowly start to beat again. I so wanted to fling myself in his arms. Why did this man have such a strong hold over me.

  “Harper wants you back.”

  “Let me handle her.”

  “She said that she goes running with you.”

  He shook his head. “I don’t. She just likes to show up on my runs.”

  “And you let her?”

  “I didn’t say that.”

  I fought my tears as I looked up at the ceiling. This was a disaster. I didn’t know if I should push to leave him or give him another chance. Why was he even here? Why did he seem to not care and then suddenly he was chasing me down. I felt so confused, I didn’t know what to do.

  Harper was a bitch. A cold, dog poisoning bitch who was doing everything in her power to steal this man away from me. She was cruel and cold and I hated her.

  I blinked at him. “What did you even see in her?”

  Shrug. “It was easy.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “Exactly that.”

  “And I’m not.”

  His smile was beautiful. “No. There is nothing easy about you.”

  My eyes filled with tears.

  “Just because it was easy with her, doesn’t mean it was better.”

  “Why isn’t it easy with me?”

  He looked down at my hand and rolled my wedding ring between his fingers. “Because you say things like you want to know me.”

  I felt a tear trickle down my face. “I do.”

  He moved to sit down on the bed beside me. His expression was one of true regret. “If you find out who I really am, you won’t love me.”

  I shook my head. “That isn’t true.”

  “I’m pretty sure it is.”

  “What happens now?” my voice was a whisper.

  “Do you trust me?”

  “Yes. Do you trust me?”

  He gave me a solemn look. “Completely.”

  “Where do we go from here?”

  He gave me a smile. “I’m going to stop being such a dick. And I’m going to be the husband that you deserve.”

  “Is this because of Alien?”

  “That’s part of it.”

  I needed answers. I couldn’t just keep plugging along here without a clue as to why we were doing
this. Integrity and a sense of honour was not a good enough reason to ruin four lives. “Why else?”

  He took a deep breath but he didn’t answer me. Green eyes held my own.

  “Why do you want to stay married to me?” I pressed.

  His face was devoid of expression. He just stared back at me.

  “Is Alien the only reason?”

  “It’s the sex.”

  My mouth dropped open. “What?”

  He took a deep breath. “It’s different.”

  My heart started to race. “How?”

  He didn’t respond.

  “Tell me.”

  “You feel more real than anyone I have ever been with before.”

  My heart literally stopped beating in my chest. And then so much hope bloomed inside of me, I almost stopped breathing. I stared up at him.

  “Emily say something.”

  I nodded. “Okay. I will come home.”

  Chapter 43

  Jackson was true to his word. It took a few days for both of us to just relax and remember who we were, but somehow we managed to find our way back from that dark place.

  Attentive and caring Jackson was back. He teased Chloe. Made dinners with me. We went for long walks.

  We went shopping for a new dining room table and he helped me pick out bedding for Alien’s room.

  He cuddled me when we watched TV. Things hadn’t been rekindled in the bedroom, but I was hoping. And waiting. Things were tentative but I could see how much he was trying. Now it was my turn to just be patient. The man was going through his stuff and I needed to let him figure it all out.

  ***

  Jackson: Away baseball game tonight against a civilian team in Newport

  Me: Oh. Do you need a cheerleader?

  Jackson: Only if she is cute and pregnant

  Me: That can be arranged

  Jackson: Eat dinner. I will pick you up at 5 PM.

  ***

  True to his word, Jackson picked me up. We drove to a baseball diamond in Newport. I sat on the top of the bleachers, one of the few fans from the military that had shown up.

  At the end of the seventh inning, I watched with disgust as Harper slowly picked her way up the bleachers towards me. All I could think of was how this woman, from day one, had done her best to try and steal my husband away from me. The texts she had sent Jackson alone were enough to make me sick.