< Table of Contents
Prologue 4
Four years later… 5
Along the Lines 1
Nightmares 6
Confrontation 12
Behind the Gates 21
War between Lovers 27
Memories 34
Making the Dent 42
Revelation 52
Reactions 59
Mends from Reveal 65
Entrapment 74
Katana and Longsword 84
Pull Release 94
The Confession 106
Secret Coronation 114
Hades 125
Finding the Search 132
Dark Control 137
Annalisa 142
Message 153
Transcript 163
Demon Astator 169
Anhk-Life 176
The War 181
Epilogue 188
Acknowledgements 190
Detachment 190
Exclusive Sneak peak of: Onyx 190
Prologue- Astator 191
Chapter 1 194
INDIGNATION
By Celinda Santillan
For My Angelic Brother
“Never show weakness.” -Julian
/body>
Prologue
My heart is aching. It’s beating faster and faster as I let myself fall, drowning in tears. Nothing can save me from the torture I’m consumed in. Nothing at all.
I said, ‘Let me live’. Yet my message wasn’t clear enough.
Now I stand here alone, with the rain coating me wet. I hear the sound of thunder, I see lighting, but nothing will move me. I want to die and let this drive me to the point of no return. It is a simple wish that I want. I close my eyes to feel the darkness engulf me with the moon shining upon me.
“Alyssa!”
I don’t turn around. I completely ignore the familiar voice that once brought my sense back. I can’t move my limbs that are paralyzed. The voice has no effect on my heart or mind. I take a step forward. The ground beneath me vanishes into thin air. I feel myself fall. I open eyes to acknowledge what I just done. What have I done? Someone! Help me! My cries are silent.
I didn’t want to do this. I promise I didn’t. What happened to me? I repeat the same question over and over again.
My mind is spinning as I wonder what made me jump off the bridge. What made me end up in the ER between life and death?
What drove me to the insanity to commit suicide? I was never this weak, this broken. How could my life turn upside down when I had control? It doesn’t make sense, but it happened to me just like other victims. Every year hundreds of thousands experience what I did. They feel alone, weak, disgusted with themselves. Ashamed, they feel ashamed. This is what I feel.
I leave my eyes open as I hear nothing, feel nothing. I only see a bright radiant light that blinds me.
Then I see a figure before I hit the bottom. Someone familiar. I know exactly who it is. I know who was my downfall, who led me to this helpless person I never was. Just one word. One word that I will never forget.
Julian .
Four years later…
“Oh, you can do better than that.” Brandon Vinson whines.
Alyssa Pike just smiles. “What do you want me to say?” She says to her best friend who’s behind the camera.
“Let me think… It’s our senior year. You won Nationals first place for DECA on the community service project. You’re head of Prom committee. And you got accepted to Yale! You can do better than ‘it’s been a good year.’ C’mon this is going to be in the year book video. Add some excitement.” He winks at her.
“Fine, Brady.” Alyssa passes her fingers through her long, light brown hair. She puts on a big smile for the camera like she always does. “I’m so excited! This has been the greatest year of my life. I’m going to treasure all these memories and take them to Yale with me. I’m a Viking forever!” She cheers a stereotypical ‘V’ from cheerleading and pretends to have pom-poms in her hands. Brandon turns off the camera and Alyssa slams her locker shut. She can’t pretend to be happy when all she can think about is how much work she needs to get done for prom. “Was that better?” She sarcastically asks.
“Much. Although I think you overdid it with the mini cheer routine.” They both laugh at the image of her as a cheerleader. “Hey, want to grab a bite before hitting the road?” He asks her with a slim smile.
“Yeah, let’s go to the diner, no Mexican food for you.” She grabs her small BFMV bag and walks alongside him.
“But those are the best.”
“Not when I have to share a hotel room with you.”
“You have no taste in food. You eat like a fish.”
“Are you sure you’re not from a Spanish heritage?”
“Nope. I’m all Irish.”
“Let me know when you find that pot of gold, okay?”
“I found it.” He throws his arm around her. “It’s called lucky charms.”
“Whatever. Do you have the tickets?” She waves to a few students that seek her attention. Her smile never falters.
“In the car.”
“What car did you rent?”
“A Chevy truck. I had to because you like to travel with big suitcases filled with rocks.”
“I do not!” She punches him lightly on his arm. “I just have a lot of work to do.”
“Forget everything that’s going on and have fun this weekend, will you? You’re starting to act like my Mom.”
“Well she is a Victoria Secret model. She must be busy all year long. By the way, where is she now?”
“She’s in the Caribbean somewhere. It’s her last shoot. She’s leaving to modeling for fashion design.”
“That means that she will be spending more time at home?”
“More time with my Dad.” He scrunches his nose in disgust. “They still go at it. They’re too old for it. I had to crash at your place last night because they were being too loud.”
“Oh, so that’s why I found you under my bed this morning.”
“No, you found me under the bed because you decided to kick me off the bed.”
“I don’t remember that.”
“I do. I hit my arm on the edge of your bed stand. I even have the bruise for it.” He steps back and slowly lifts the cuffs of his light green, long sleeve shirt that matches his eyes. She can see the edges of the mark are a faded green while the actual mark is a pale purple.
“That’s looks bad, Brady.”
“I see I won’t be getting a sorry from you.”
She rolls her eyes at him. “You being a baby. It’s not my fault you fell. I gave you a copy of my keys for emergencies. Not so you can sleep over to avoid your parent’s sex life.”
He pinches the bridge of his nose. “Don’t say sex and parents in the same sentence.”
“Why not? Your Dad is handsome. Last year he was voted fifty-six on the world’s sexist man chart. No wonder your Mom-”
“Stop. Please, no more.” He looks like he’s in physical pain.
Brandon was never one to brag. That’s why she loves him. His father was a well-known baseball player who retired two years ago while his mother is a Victoria secret model, who apparently is retiring this year. He comes from a very successful family, but it never got to his head. The Vinsons moved to Wisconsin in order to live a normal life outside of Hollywood, but it’s hard to live a normal life when you’re a celebrity. Brandon still has his fair share of dealing with paparazzi, although they sometimes give up since he doesn’t give them what they crave for, a story.
“Earth to Alyssa?”
“What? Sorry. What was that?”
“Let’s move faster so we can get there on time.”
“I’m not forgetting anything, am
I?” They walk through student parking the lot. The sun is shining high and the clouds are nowhere in sight. It seems like the perfect day. No, it is a perfect day. She’s going to a concert and then spending the weekend away with her best friend. Prom and graduation is coming soon. It’s all going the way it should be. She’s living her life the way it was always meant to be.
“Hey, Brandon?” They both turn around to the red head that’s in several of their classes.
“Yeah?” He questions with a frown.
“Hey, Marissa.” Alyssa steps back from his grip to hug the gentle girl.
“Hey, Alyssa. Um… am I-?”
She just shakes her head. “Not at all. Is there something you need to tell me? Never mind you called for Brandon, right?”
“Yeah, I-I mean no. I mean I-I don’t know.” The shy girl stumbles through her words.
“Do I know you?” He asks with a confuse frown.
“No?”
“Brady, this is Marissa. She’s the one who won a full scholarship to Princeton to become a Marine Biologist.”
“Oh, the nerdy one.” Alyssa slaps his stomach almost instantaneously. “The hot one?” She repeats the punishment. “The very smart one?” He groans from the impact of her hits. She just shakes her head in defeat.
“You really know how to make a girl feel special.”
He cockily grins. “I know.”
She ignores him and turns to the girl who is exactly what someone would call a Texas woman. Her hair is orange-red that highlights the freckles on her skin. Her eyes are always gentle and innocent. She’s really shy, but sweet at the same time.
“Marissa, excuse him. He’s not a friendly person when he’s not feed.”
“You make me sound like a dog, Aly.”
“No, I’m not. They have better manners.” She points out to him. “Anyways, what do you want with this rude man?”
“Oh, I- never mind. It was nothing. I’ll just go.”
“No, come one tell us.”
“Well, you know it’s traditional for a guy to ask a girl to the prom, but there’s this list. I’m on the list of girls who have to ask a guy instead. I was wondering-”
“I’m going with Alyssa to the prom.” Brandon states proudly.
Alyssa’s mouth drops. “I- Oh, well, sorry then.” Marissa turns around and walks away, but not before showing the redness on her cheeks from embrassement.
Alyssa narrows her eyes to her best friend. “What?” He asks without a clue in the world.
“She took all the courage to come over here and ask you to prom and all you can say about it is ‘what’?”
“We said we were going to go to prom together since it’s our last year.”
“No, you said that. I said I wasn’t planning on going. Everyone just thinks that I am.”
“But it’s prom. All girls are supposed to be dreaming about it for months.”
“Since when am I like other girls? I’m serious about this. I’m not going to prom and you can’t make me.”
He silently curses. “Because of you I turned down a hot girl. Thanks a lot, Aly.”
Her mouth gapes open once more. “You have to be-”
“Hey! Marissa! Wait up!” Brandon jogs past her.
“Men.” She rolls her eyes. “You can’t live with them; you can’t stab them in their sleep without being charged with murder.” She turns around to find Marissa and Brandon in a deep conversation.
She can clearly tell his interest in her. Marissa’s interest obviously shows as her cheeks turn a light shade of pink. They would make a good couple if they give each other a chance. Alyssa genuinely smiles. If her life was only that’s simple. Maybe one day she will meet someone who sweeps her off her feet like in those fairy tales she used to read. That would be that day. She looks past her best friend and stares at the park in front of the school. The tall oak tree looks so out of place. Her smile disappears and she looks away. They say that memories will be there to forever haunt you. It’s true. It never goes away. They stick with you until you draw your last breath. You do live pass it though. That’s all she will ever hope for.
“Alyssa?”
She snaps her attention to the person in front of her. Her eyes widen for a split second. Her vision corrects and she sees the man in front of her. For a split second she saw him. She saw Julian, but who is really in front of her is Brandon.
He shakes his head. His dazzling smile spreads every time their eyes meet. “Are you day dreaming again?”
She nods in agreement. His brown-blonde hair is different than the rave black hair she used to love. His light green eyes contrast the endless black ones she learned to live with. Brandon is such a handsome man, but he’s not him. He’s not the man from her nightmares; he’s not the man from her heart.
He starts to tell about what happened with Marissa, but she ignores him. Her mind is gone off far away. She squints her eyes when the rays of the sun hit her. A temporary blindness causes her to remember all those times she had gone to the oak tree for a nice romantic afternoon. It all ended, but the memories are still there. Haunting her. Reminding her of something that will never be again.
Brandon has been so patient with her, but she notices just how much she can fool those around her. He knows almost nothing of her fears, or her sense of solitude. Best friends don’t keep secrets, but hers are too buried to be brought alive and that’s how she will always want it. Too many years she’s spend grieving over someone who never loved her, a man who doesn’t deserve to be in her mind.
Brandon and Alyssa get into the Chevy truck and drives off.
“I need to call my Dad and I’ll be set.” Alyssa begins to dial her father, but stops herself short. She turns back to her best friend. “Umm… can you take me home? It’ll be quick. I forgot something.”
“Sure.” He thinks nothing of her request.
Ten minutes later she opens her front door with her zebra-striped set of keys. She can hear someone in the kitchen. That’s odd. No one is ever home. In the Pike household everyone is too busy to ever bother to see each other. That’s her childhood. Alone, and fending for herself emotionally. The only thing she has is the money her parents give her, but that is never enough. You can’t buy love and affection with money. It just doesn’t happen. If maybe her parents were around long enough to help, she wouldn’t have took so long to heal.
She enters the kitchen. Her father stands, leaning over the counter to get a better view of his laptop. His fingers are typing away with such speed. There’s yellow folders spread all around him.
“Hey.” She greets him with a strained smile. She can’t see her father the way she used to. Not after what he’s done. It’s unforgivable, but he’s still her father and it hurts to even think about what he does when he’s not at home. Maybe his secret is the reason he’s almost never home.
He turns to see his daughter with a smile that is true. “Hey. What are you doing here?” He lifts his index finger to his lips in thought. “Weren’t you going with Brandon to, that, what was it? Concert, right?”
“Yes. I told you and Mom, but I forgot my camera so I’ll just be out of your way.” His eyes seem so true, filled with love only a father has for his daughter, but if he really loved her he wouldn’t have betrayed her, or her mother. Everyone has a choice and he chose wrong in her eyes.
“You’re never in my way, sweetheart.” He packs all his files and closes his laptop. “Go ahead, and don’t let me keep you here. Have fun and be safe. Oh, and no boys.” She raises her eyebrow at him. “Other than Brandon.” Alyssa nods as her father pecks her on her forehead. ‘Love is true, love is sweet, but love can never erase the wrongs in life’. A motto she has heard so many times, and it’s never done her wrong.
Alyssa turns to watch her father exit the house. Memories are meant to bring you those times of joy and happiness, but to her it’s always been saddening and frightening. Even with all these years passing she will never forget the regretful and teary look her fathe
r gave her. If only she knew how to mend her worried father. He might not have made the best choices a father should have, but she knows he loves her more than anything. She can see it in his eyes. He worries about her. The worry of her own death. She hasn’t forgotten what happen that night of the ‘accident’, as she liked to call it. Those, like her father, think that her memory loss of that day is due to trauma. They will never know just how much she’s ashamed of that day to even acknowledge it. It did happen, but why talk about it? It doesn’t help. It doesn’t erase anything. You talk about what happened and then you mourn over it even more because there’s that one person that reminds you of it continuously.
In the eyes of others, she may not remember, but her father remembers it perfectly. He was the one to treat her when she entered the ER.
Along the Lines
The rockish-styled fans around them screams fill their ears. Alyssa and Brandon move to the front where their front row seats are located. There are no lights, other than from the stage of course. You can tell how much this band has an affect towards the crowd. So far she’s heard nothing, but greatness, to be expected of the concert. That’s why the tickets were a little over ninety dollars.
She screams along with the crowd when the guitarist jumped into his solo. “Who’s this band?” She screams over the crowd to her best friend to be heard.
“Trivium!” He doesn’t take his eyes off of the stage. He bops his head to the metal core music while screaming with the audience. They hold each other’s hand and become another member of the crowd. The power of destruction and emotions that come off of metal music is like an adrenaline rush. She was never one to like the color black, or the rock fashion, but she has taken a liking to it. It’s the only type of music that lets her express her emotions through each beat. It’s more like a therapeutic treatment for her. If she listens to this type of music, then she doesn’t have to worry about always being the one to fill the hole that claims to be filled each and every day.
After the band goes off stage grinning to their now new fans, another band goes on. Alyssa stares at the woman in wonder. She has a beautiful long ivory gown. Her hair is long and brown filled with perfect waves. Her eyes are vacant. Her corset top fits her body fine and the skirt flows with each step. Like a vengeful angel ready to strike.
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