“You can make me young for a week?”
Maca shook her head, hair whishing around in slow motion as she did. “Now don’t get your hopes up, Grimbledung. Making youth. Good and true youth by turning back someone’s age is a long and dangerous process that probably won’t give you the results you’re looking for.” She looked at Akita. “And I don’t think that’s what we’re doing today.”
“But you said...”
“You have to understand, Grimbledung, if I were to make you young again...” She raised a finger. “If, I were to make you young again, it would cost you several hundred gold and you’d end up being exactly the person you were at that age.”
Grimbledung did a little hop. “Great!”
Maca shook her head. “No, you’d be that age again. Everything you learned from that point forward would be lost to you because you’d have the exact mind of what you had at that age. It would take the rest of the week just to convince you that you knew us and should trust us. Not to mention getting you to go undercover at the school to find that thief or thieves.”
Akita moved away from Grimbledung and began to peruse the shelves. He was under orders to not tell anyone of the details of the secretive undertaking. He hoped that Grimbledung wouldn’t repeat that particular comment to anyone. Ever.
Maca saw Akita move and nodded at him, realizing her mistake, she pressed on hoping the comment would be lost forever in Grimbledung’s mind. “So what we’re going to do because we want you as crafty and wily as you are now, is to just change your physical appearance for a while.”
Grimbledung did a little hop. “Great!” He flexed his arms. “I’ll be unstoppable with a youthful body and my wise old brain!”
Maca giggled then shook her head again. “No. Keep in mind your actual age won’t have changed, so you’ll not be able to run like a youngster. You’ll just look younger.”
Grimbledung frowned. “Well, hopefully I won’t be doing any running then. So I’m going to look young. That’s great!”
Maca nodded at Grimbledung as she gestured to the half-doors. “Exactly. That’s what I can do; give you the appearance of youth.” As she moved to the swinging doors, Akita and Grimbledung fell in step behind her. “Oftentimes, that’s even better than real youth, you know,” she continued as she pushed the doors open and stepped into the workroom of her shop.
“How so?” Asked Grimbledung as he and the Constable joined Maca at the dark, gnarled table in the center of her workshop. “Seems to me that’s not very helpful.”
“You said it yourself; you would have your youthful looks but the cunning you’ve developed over the past three centuries.” She smiled. “So you’ll have the upper hand with whatever you’re trying to do, I would think.”
Akita gave Maca a nod.
“So what’ll this take? An hour or so of laying on yon table while you crush vulture beaks and pour tears of elephants into a bowl?” Grimbledung stick out his tongue. “Maybe hock a loogie in it for good measure?”
Maca blinked at the Gnome. “What? That’s gross.” She looked at Akita for help. He just shrugged. “No. All you have to do is drink some of this potion here.” She reached her hand to an old, battered wood shelf. The carved skulls on the top corners seemed to glower down at everyone in the room. After only a moment, a slender bottle with a glass stopper rattled then lifted. As it rose over the lip on the shelf, Maca looked at Grimbledung. “I’d think you would want to be young looking for a week just in case. You really can’t take another dose of this for a good month afterwards so you need to take it all at once.”
“Well, I guess I’ll go for a week just in case.” Grimbledung stifled a giggle as he thought of the mischief he could get into if he solved the thievery problem within a day and then had the rest of the week to mess around town, unrecognizable to everyone. “That sounds good to me.”
Maca turned as the bottle came into her hand. “Then for a week of youth, at your size, you need to drink about half of this.” She turned to her worktable and placed the bottle on it. She reached under the table to a shelf and selected a small glass. She examined it in the light.
“Woo! Shots!” Grimbledung waggled his ears. “Now you’re talking. Set ‘em down and fill ‘em up!” He hopped back and forth. As he made his way to the worktable, he sang:
Belly up to the bar Gnomes!
Belly up, belly up to the bar, Gnomes,
and don’t leave your money at home!
Only drink by day or night
Or somewheres in between!
Akita laughed. “I know that one!” He moved beside the Gnome and joined in:
Belly up to the bar Wolves!
Belly up, belly up to the bar, Wolves.
Better loosen your belt
Only drink when you’re all alone
Or with somebody else!
The pair finished together:
Belly up to the...
Baaaarrr!
“You know I try to run a respectable business here,” said Maca. She put the glass on the worktable. “Honestly.”
“Where’s mine?”
“None for you; you’re on duty,” said Grimbledung. He stuck out his tongue.
“Yeah? Well soon you’ll be too young lookin’ for anyone in town to serve you anything stronger than milk or apple cider,” chortled Akita. “For a whole week.”
Grimbledung sucked his tongue back into his mouth. “Now hold on a minute. Let’s think this through.” He started to back away.
Akita put his hand on the Gnome’s back. “Oh no ya’ don’t. You’ve already agreed to this.”
“Will you sneak me a drink?” Grimbledung said in a loud whisper.
“Honestly,” interjected Maca. “If it’s that much of an issue- I’ll buy you a drink.”
“Contributing to the delinquency of a minor?” Tut-tutted Akita. “Honestly.”
“Contributing?” She pointed at Grimbledung. “He’s full up of delinquency. He’s not taking any more donations.”
Grimbledung frowned. “Hey, I thought bartenders were friendly folk!”
“That your experience?”
Grimbledung shrugged at the Constable. “Well not always. Neckless over at the Mora Tau isn’t always friendly.”
“Most people call him Maurice.”
“Maurice? Really? I’d never have guessed,” Grimbledung admitted to Maca.
“Maurice Tarbender,” said Akita.
“Tarbender? Hey! I’ve been getting his last name right!”
“Not on purpose,” said Akita.
“Well how was I to know?”
“Mayhap by asking?” Maca poured the potion carefully into the glass. “That should do it.” She put the glass in front of the Gnome.
“So do I have to sip it, or take it with food, or what?”
“Just drink it, you silly Gnome.”
Grimbledung picked up the glass and in one well-practiced motion, downed it. “That’s it?”
“That should be it. Unless there’s an adverse reaction. Which is highly unlikely since you’re a Gnome.”
“Adverse? That’s bad right? Adverse reactions are bad!” Grimbledung hopped up and down. “I don’t feel so good all of a sudden.”
“Don’t worry, you’re fine.”
“But they’re bad reactions!” Grimbledung gripped his belly and moaned. “I’ve got a baaaad feeling about this all of a sudden.
“Well, sure.” Maca shrugged as she picked up the bottle and re-stoppered it. She let go of it. Instead of falling to the floor, it moved smoothly back to its proper place on the shelf. “That’s why they’re adverse.” She smiled at him. “You’ve nothing to worry about. Really.”
“Well, that’s the kind of thing you mention to a Gnome before giving them some strange potion to drink!”
Maca put her hand on Grimbledung’s shoulder. “That’s a very stable and safe potion for Gnomes, Grimbledung; you don’t have to worry a bit about it. Actually, it’s only dangerous to people who are allergic
to...”
Grimbledung fell over dead.
Maca and Akita stared at the heap that was, until very recently, Grimbledung. “Nuts,” said Akita. “Drimblerod’s not going to be happy.”
Maca gaped at Grimbledung’s corpse. “Wha... What?”
“Well, even if he’s not younger, he’s at least stopped aging, right?” Akita bent over to look at Grimbledung. “That’s somethin’ anyway.”
“I don’t understand. This potion is only poisonous to folks who are allergic to jointed charlock. Who ever heard of a Gnome allergic to jointed charlock? A Dwarf sure, but a Gnome?”
“Never seen him eat it, now that you mention it. Regular radishes by the handful, but not its wild cousin.” Akita sniffed Grimbledung. “That there is one dead Gnome.”
“I mean...”
Akita looked at Maca. “Can you fix him?”
Maca looked at a weathered hutch. “Well, I suppose I can...” She glanced back at the Gnome. “Unless he’s also allergic to turnips. Then it’ll really be a chore.”
Akita shook his head. “Nope. Seen him eat piles of them.”
Maca let out a sign. “Well, that’s a relief. Get him on the table and I’ll prepare the antidote.”
Akita picked Grimbledung up and placed him on the table. “Say, will that counter the youthfulness potion?”
Maca looked from the hutch to the Gnome and back again. “Well, it may actually make it last longer, now that you mention it.”
Akita let his tongue hang out. “Ahhh. There’s a bright side then.”
Maca shook her head as she moved to the hutch and opened one of the side cupboards. She pulled out several vials and put them on the workspace under the shelves that connected the two cupboards. She pulled a mortar and pestle from a corner of the workspace. “That Gnome’s got some Dwarf in his past,” she muttered under her breath as she put ingredients in the mortar. She glanced over her shoulder. “Please don’t mention this, Akita.”
“He prolly knows that there’s a Dwarf perched somewheres on his family tree. And I think he’s gonna know what happened to him when he wakes up.”
Maca shook her head. “Not that. This.” She turned back to the mortar and spit in it, then used the pestle to mix the now moist concoction.
Akita laughed. “This gets better ‘n better.”
Maca brought the mortar to the table. She took the mixture from it and rolled it into a small ball. “This should do the trick.”
“Should?”
She opened a drawer under the table and removed a dark jar. She pulled off the lid and dunked the ball into it. “Chocolate makes it go down better.”
“Chocolate? Is this a professional type of antidote?”
Maca’s eyes flashed red. “Just open his mouth, mister smarty tail,” she added with a smile.
“Yes ma’am.” Akita took Grimbledung’s chin in one paw and put his other on the Gnome’s forehead. He pushed his hands apart and Grimbledung’s mouth opened wide. “He’s not gonna choke on that thing, is he? It’s kinda big.”
“He’s dead. He can’t choke on anything right now.” Maca dropped the ball in then replaced Akita’s hands with her own. She pressed Grimbledung’s mouth tightly shut.
“How long will that take?”
Grimbledung thrashed on the table then sat up, wrestling his head out of Maca’s grip. “Gah!”
“My sentiments exactly,” agreed Akita.
“What kind of operation you running here, Mistress Maca?”
“Just calm down, Grimbledung,” said Maca as she offered her hand to help him off the table. “You’re fine now.”
“Sure, now. But just a little bit ago, I was stranded on the docks without a coin to my name! Yet again. That gondolier is getting pretty tired of me just sitting there you know. I don’t know if you realize this or not, but it’s not the most pleasant place to pass the time.”[26]
“Well, you’re back now... so you’re allergic to jointed charlock? As a Gnome?”
“Well sure. My whole family is.” With Maca’s assistance, Grimbledung hopped off the table. “Regular radishes are fine, but them wild ones are lethal. Not sure why, really. It’s kinda embarrassing as a Gnome.”
“Well, I’m sorry about that,” said Maca, “I never would have suspected or I would have...”
Akita cleared his throat. “So how long until the youthfulness potion starts working?”
“It should be any time now, really.” Maca peered at Grimbledung. “Any time at all.”
“That works. That means I can get to the school in morning and get this mystery solved and have a week of young-looking fun.”
“And I’ll get your drinks,” said Akita. He winked at Maca. “Unless you got a reason to buy him drinks.”
Maca squinted her eyes at the Constable. Another flash of red accompanied the look.
Akita grinned wide at the female. “Now, now. I was going to do that anyhow.”
“Wooo!”
Maca and Akita looked down at Grimbledung. Or at least where Grimbledung should have been. There was now a very large, wild-looking mass of black wavy hair obstructing their view of him. The mountain of hair tilted back and a small, wrinkle-free Grimbledung-ish face looked up at them. The sides of the hair wiggled as the ears buried deep inside did so. “Wooo!” said the youth as his pants dropped to the floor. Then his tunic joined it as he passed through the neck-hole.
“Well, that’s a fine how do you do.”
Grimbledung grinned at Maca. “Right?” He flexed his arms and posed. “They used to call me muscles.”
“I’d have thought they called you locks.”
Grimbledung stuck out his tongue at the Constable. “And no one’ll recognize me now. I’m going to show Drimblerod!” He ran right out of his shoes to the swinging doors, passing under them easily.
Akita looked at Maca wide-eyed. “I would have thought that you of all folks would have had a better handle on something simple like a youthfulness potion.” He shook his head. “And you call yourself an Elf-Djinn.” He clucked his tongue on the roof of his mouth.
“So you’re trying to dig yourself into a hole?”
“Oh, I’ll be back later to get my comeuppance.” He winked at her, then quickly moved in and smooched her cheek loudly. “ ‘ Course, if you can’t handle a wee Gnome, what’re your chances against a full-grown Werewolf?”
“Oh, my chances are really good.” She raised her eyebrow at him. “Remember, above all else, I’m an all-powerful female.”
Akita smiled as he leaned on the table. “Oh dear. Mayhap I need to...” A shriek from the street made him look to the front of the shop. “Or actually, mayhap I need to catch me a naked Grimbledung.”
“That’s not the first time you’ve said that, is it.”
Akita grabbed Grimbledung’s tunic from the floor and made for the door. “Nope. I think I’m in double digits even.” He pushed through the swinging doors as another shriek wafted through the shop from the street out front.
Maca picked up Grimbledung’s pants. She let out a long sign. “I guess I’ll take Grimbledung’s pants to Second-Hand Sorcery,” she said to her empty workroom. She smiled. “So that makes three for me, if my count is right.”
Chapter 38
Grim Point Oh
Someone’s pounding on my head. At least I think someone’s pounding on my head. Maybe they’re pounding near my head. Either way, I don’t like it. Then I remember where I am. “I’m up, I’m up,” I call to the door. Hoping the pounding will stop.
‘Well, you’re going to be late for your first day if you don’t get a move on’, I hear Drimblerod say.
Now I remember- I’m supposed to be going undercover at Big Julie’s school. But... But something needs to happen first. I can’t remember what, but it’s important. With a shrug, I hope out of bed. I stumble as I hit the ground. Did someone raise my bed? I look around my room. And my table’s bigger too. What gives? I walk over to my mirror- it’s bigger too- and stretch. What? I st
umble back from the mirror; seems there’s some kid in my room! “What’re you doing in here, you little cretin?” I ask. The kid’s mouth seems to move with mine.
‘Grimbledung, stop mucking about in there and come get some breakfast. You’re going to be late’, Drimblerod yells into my room again.
Late? That’s right! I’m on a mission. I narrow my eyes at the youth who’s narrowing his eyes back at me. Good looking kid, there in my mirror. “Be right down, Drim!” I call at the door. Yesterday is kind of fuzzy to me, but some of it is coming back. Undercover work. I give myself a wink then turn to my wardrobe. Uh oh; that’s going to be a problem. I don’t have any clothes my new size, I think as I open the doors to my wardrobe. Inside I see a bunch of what look to me like doll clothes. “What’s with the doll clothes?” I ask.
Oh.
I pull out a tiny shirt and some breeches. There’s matching socks and underwear in the drawer. I slip them on as I start to go over my plan in my head. That’s when I realize I don’t really have a plan. Sometimes you can over plan these things.
‘Grimbledung Sixtoes esquire junior! Get down here!’ assaults my ears.
Junior? As I’m trussing my shoes, a thought occurs; Sixtoes? That’s not going to work. Folk in town know about Grimbledung Sixtoes. I’m famous, after all. What I need is a pseudo name. Something that will keep anyone from realizing who I really am. But something I won’t forget. I turn to pick up my satchel. “Hello. I’m Grim. Grim Noir,” I say to the mirror. I smile and nod as I do it. “Grim Noir; that’s me,” I say again. “Good to meet you, Grim Noir,” I say to myself. “The pleasure is all mine, meeting such a finely dressed, and well-spoken lad such as yourself,” I say. “Why, I don’t think I’ve met someone of your caliber in a month’s...”
‘Grimbledung! Get down here!’
I sigh at my reflection and with a knowing wink, go to the door. What’re these door latches doing so high up? I lift the latch and tug the door open. My feet only slide once as I tug the door open. Being this size is going to be a pain. It’s a good thing I don’t remember being this size. I decide to just leave the door open- there’s no sense in working up a sweat before breakfast.
A New Hope (Tales From a Second-Hand Wand Shop Book 4) Page 23