A New Hope (Tales From a Second-Hand Wand Shop Book 4)

by Robert P. Wills

  Sure, sister, sure. Moonsday all day long.

  “Why wait?” I put her arms on my shoulders and put my hands on her hips. “We can go see him tomorrow.”

  “He’ll be back?” She snuggles up against me.

  I give my head a shake. I lay down the first ace. “No dearest, he’ll still be in South Jute. We can go out there ourselves and visit him. Drimblerod doesn’t keep any tabs on me so I can easily be gone.” I give my eyebrows a workout. “Tell your Mom you’re going to a friend’s house for a few days.” I add a wink.

  ‘But...’ Now she’s trying to squirm out of my arms. ‘South Jute’s a good day’s ride away.’

  I give a shrug as the second ace goes own. “We’ll sleep together under the stars. Then we can spend a day and a night with my Uncle, then we can come back.” Then the third goes down with a wicked smile. “It will be a glorious trip with just the two of us.”

  “Overnight?” Now she’s really squirming.

  Fourth ace. “Oh yeah. Over. Night.”

  ‘No... no, we can’t do that!’

  And that fifth ace, I toss out into the middle of the table right onto the pot. “Why not, toots?”

  She yanks out of my arms and pokes me in the chest. “I’m not that kind of girl!”

  I let go of her. “What?” I say just for fun as I count my winnings.

  She makes a break for Door. Luckily Door’s keeping track of what’s going on so it opens just in time for her to scoot out of it. She runs into Momalicious’ hip and hugs it. Flora drops her hand quick-like now that there are witnesses. It looks like she was doing some chest poking of her own.

  Nice.

  I watch Momalicious take Amaryllis by the hand and leads her out of sight.

  Problem solved.

  Door stays open because Flora’s right there. I’m hoping she leaves too. So I can take that nap.

  Hopefully.

  “So, Flora O. Willowfeet, it was nice you stopped by.” I give her a wave. “Really, it is.”

  “Grimbledung. I shall see you in exactly three weeks from today.” Flora says as she points a finger at me. “Exactly three weeks from today.”

  I give her a nod. Mainly because I really didn’t hear what she said; I was looking forward to the nap I was going to take when I got to the backroom. Or maybe a drink. Or both. “Sure, sure,” I give her as I wave again. “What you said.”

  With a nod of her own, the crazy fillet of Gnome-ness leaves too.

  Door closes all solemn-like.

  “Exactly my sentiment, Door,” I say to it. “I’m taking a nap. If anyone tries to come in, ring real loud so I’ll hear them.”

  Door rattles its catch.

  Peace and quiet.

  Finally.

  Chapter 58

  The Seed is Planted!

  Exactly two weeks and five days later.

  Grimbledung rushed into the shop. “Drimblerod! You’ll never believe what Pollux just told me!”

  Drimblerod sighed. He had heard the same story from Koza the day before. “There’s this massive mine that is full of gold and gems and wands but no one knows where it is?”

  “No! There’s this massive mine that is full of gold and gems and wands but no one knows where it is!”

  “Grim, just listen for a moment.” Drimblerod moved around the counter. He had been dreading this discussion since Koza brought it up a week before. “If no one knows where the mine is, it can’t be found.” He held his hands up. “Because no one knows where it is. That’s why it’s called the Lost Picman’s Mine.”

  “That’s what they all say!” Grimbledung winked. “But there is someone who knows where it is.” He moved around the counter.

  “Grimbledung,” pleaded Drimblerod. “Please...”

  “Ah ha!” Grimbledung flourished a sleek black wand. It seemed to have a glow all its own.

  “The Black. It came in a month ago, I think.”

  “Exactly!”

  Drimblerod moved to the counter. “Grim, what’s that wand got to do with anything?” He took it from his partner. “Granted, it’s definitely unusual wand.” He drew it under his nose as he sniffed deeply. “Lots of power in it.” He held it to his ear. “So much it’s leaking out, in fact.” He put it on the counter. “I’d have had Dummy give it a test but with everything else going on, it’s been stuck behind the counter.”

  “You know where this wand came from?” Grimbledung picked it up. He tapped the end against the glass counter. Little sparks flew out of it.

  “Someone made it, of course.” Drimblerod shrugged. “Like all wands.”

  Grimbledung shook his head. “Exactly!”

  “Grim...” Drimblerod tried again. “What does that wand have to do with the Lost Picman’s Mine?”

  “It just so happens that this wand was brought in by an Orc.”

  “The one that shouts and shakes his fist?”

  Grimbledung shrugged. “Well, it’s all part of the art of haggling. But yes; that’s him.”

  “What does that have to do with the Lost Picman’s Mine?” Drimblerod looked at the wand. It was definitely unusual, but unusual wands often have mundane origins.

  “The Orc said he got it off a dead guy who had a sack full of wands that he got out of a mine.”

  “Wait a grain of sand, Grimbledung...” Began Drimblerod.

  “The guy would have carried more out but he was worried about having a bunch of wands in one sack.” He winked. “Which was probably right because he ended up blowing himself up and this wand...” He tapped it with his finger. “... was the only one to survive.”

  “But if the guy was dead, who told the Orcs that?”

  Grimbledung opened his mouth. Then closed it.

  “Exactly.”

  Grimbledung frowned. “No wait!” Grimbledung snapped his fingers. “Maybe it was with his dying breath!” He smiled triumphantly. “Hah!”

  “Grim, no one knows where the Lost Picman’s Mine is. Otherwise it would just be called the Picman’s Mine.” He snapped his fingers. “Hah!”

  “Well, this wand came from there, which means we can use it to find the mine once we get close to it.”

  “We don’t even know where that was, Grim. We’d be wandering the wilderness looking for a lost mine.”

  Grimbledung shook his head. “S’Am told me it was past some town full of zombies on the way to EternCity.”

  “EternCity is a long way from here, Grim. A long way.” He startled. “Did you say a town of zombies?”

  “Well, we don’t have to go there if you don’t want to.”

  “I don’t want to.”

  “Go to the town of zombies?”

  “Go at all.”

  Grimbledung pursed his lips. “A mine full of gold and gems and wands; just think of it.”

  “Don’t say it,” Drimblerod warned.

  “Fortune.”

  “Don’t...”

  “Glory.”

  “I said not to say it.”

  “Fortune and Glory, Drim! And it would be ours. All ours.”

  “Fortune and Glory is a myth that gets folks killed.” Fortune and glory? Drimblerod thought. Fortune and glory and songs sung about you! “So who would watch the shop while we’re away?” Fortune and glory!

  Grimbledung considered that for a moment. “We could get Semfeld and Liverioso to watch it for us. Their place isn’t built yet so they’ve no place to set up shop.” He spread his hands. “They could set up here, we could give them part of the profits and by the time we get back, they’d have saved up enough to build their own place!”

  Drimblerod shook his head. He wanted to go, but the thought of leaving the shop in the care of others scared him. “How do we know we can even trust them?” It’s a chance at fortune and glory. They’ll sing songs about the Gnomes who found the Lost Picman’s Mine.

  “Chéri trusts them. How could you get a better endorsement?” Grimbledung crossed his arms.

  Drimblerod exhaled. “Well...”
<
br />   Grimbledung leaned forward. “Well?”

  “Well, we’d have to wait for you to be back to normal size so we could make a normal sized Shambler to pull the wagon.”

  “That’s soon right?” Time was something else Grimbledung had trouble counting.

  Drimblerod nodded. “Another couple of days, by my reckoning.”

  Grimbledung hopped back and forth. “That’s plenty of time to get everything in order- then we’ll be on our way! Then we’ll be back before anyone knows it. Then they’ll all sing about it.” Grimbledung winked. “Like this.”

  Fortune and glory for the Gnomes!

  They’ headed out of their homes

  and out on the plains they went.

  Darkness, rain, and such didn’t scare them.

  Zombies couldn’t deter them.

  But they came back with their fortune

  and their glory too!

  “Well that was about the worst song about fortune and glory I’ve ever heard,” said Drimblerod. “Ever.”

  “Well, that was off the top of my head”[40], said Grimbledung defensively. “It’ll be much better when the professionals do it.”

  “I’d hope so.” Drimblerod looked around the shop. “So you think those two Humans can handle the shoppe while we’re away?” He did some rough calculations in his head. “EternCity will be about two week’s walk there.”

  “So we’re gone two weeks” Grimbledung thrust his hands in the air. “Easy radishy!”

  “No, Grim,” Drimblerod shook his head. “That’s two weeks there, and two more back minimum. Plus we need to find what we’re looking for and that could take another few days. Probably a week.”

  Grimbledung dropped his hands to his sides.

  “And that’s not taking into account anything that distracts us from our journey. Or if we get lost. Or if the weather gets bad and we lose a day. Or any number of other things.” Still- fortune and glory!

  “So we’re gone just over a month then?”

  Drimblerod nodded.

  Grimbledung thrust his hands in the air again. “Just over a month for gold and gems and wands galore!”

  “Oh, there’s one more thing.” Drimblerod leveled his eyes at his partner. “One very important thing,” he said gravely.

  “What’s that?” Grimbledung moved to his partner.

  “Flora is expecting you to be around in two days. You can’t leave before then.”

  “She’ll understand,” said Grimbledung. He waved his hand dismissively. “Once she sees all the gold and gems and wands, she’ll understand.”

  Drimblerod raised an eyebrow at his partner.

  “I’m sure of it,” Grimbledung assured. “So when am I full sized again?”

  “Well, since the last time you asked my right before your terrible song?”

  “Yeah.”

  “It’s still two days.” He looked worriedly at the door. “You sure you don’t want to stay an extra couple of days so that Flora doesn’t get upset?”

  “She’ll be fine, Drim.” Grimbledung patted his partner’s shoulder. “Trust me on that.”

  “If you say so,” Drimblerod wasn’t convinced. Hey, it’s not your girl that’s getting upset. You’ll have your fortune so you can have any female you want! Drimblerod nodded.

  “I’m glad you agree.” Grimbledung rubbed his hands together. “So we need to gather up some supplies and make sure the Magicians are on board with the plan.”

  Drimblerod nodded. “How about I get the supplies and you talk to the Humans?”

  Grimbledung shook his head. “Why don’t you talk to the Humans and I’ll get the supplies?”

  “I think I’d be better at getting supplies.” Drimblerod thought of being on the open road with only the supplies his easily-distracted, poor-judging, planning-inhibited partner decided to get.

  “Not at all,” said Grimbledung. “I’d be happy to get the supplies while you talk to the Humans.”

  “That’s not what I said,” said Drimblerod.

  “So I’ll go over to Pozz’s shop and have him put together a standard adventurer’s package for just over a month and you can talk to the Magicians.”

  If he’s going to Pozzuoli’s then we’ll be fine. Pozzuoli wouldn’t sell us short. Drimblerod nodded. “All right. Go to Pozzuoli’s and explain to him in detail exactly where we’re going without leaving anything out so he can get us properly outfitted with everything will need for the entire trip there and back again.”

  Grimbledung nodded. “I’ll do that right now.”

  “In detail, Grim. Don’t leave anything out or he won’t know what to outfit us with.”

  Grimbledung waved over his shoulder since he was already heading toward Door. “I’ve got it.”

  “All right then, I suppose.”

  Door opened and Grimbledung stepped out onto the boardwalk. He turned to look back in the shop. “Don’t worry partner; we’ll have more stuff than we know what to do with,” he called. Then he walked off.

  Chapter 59

  Outfitted For Glory?

  Grimbledung moved down the street quickly. Tell Pozz where we’re going? He shook his head. “Then old Pozz’ll just go out there and beat us to it!” He said to a passerby. “Not a chance. Same goes for you, Mister Dwarf,” he added. “Not a chance.” He waggled his finger at him for good measure.

  The Dwarf, not wanting to get caught up in (another) hour-long conversation with the odd Gnome, moved off quickly.

  Grimbledung made it to Pozzuoli’s shop Everything In Between in record time- since no one would stop to talk to him. He opened the door and stepped into the large shop. “Anyone home?” He called.

  “If’a no one was home, the door, she would be locked,” said a familiar voice.

  “Pozz! It seems like it’s been ages since we’ve talked.”

  Pozzuoli nodded. “It has been a long-a time.” He frowned. “A real long-a time.”

  “I hope things have been going well for you in the meanwhile.”

  Pozzuoli shrugged. “Business is good.” He looked left and right. “But the neighbors fight all-a the time.”

  “The hat and the shoe folk?”

  “They no get a long.”

  “Sorry to hear that Pozz.” Grimbledung moved to the counter. “Anything I can do to help?”

  Pozzuoli shook his head. “No, no.” He winked at the Gnome. “Don’t need extra witnesses.”

  “What? Witnesses for what?”

  He gave a noncommittal shrug. “I’m-a buying them out.”

  “You sure they’ll go for it?” Grimbledung narrowed his eyes. “You going to make them an offer they can’t refuse or something?”

  “I make them one offer and they take it.” He narrowed his eyes. “Or else.”

  “Or else what?” Grimbledung looked worriedly toward the two shops.

  Pozzuoli smiled at the Gnome. “So what the Grimbledung need today?”

  “Well, I need to get us outfitted for a little trip Drimblerod and I are taking.”

  “Oh? The trip; she is for business or pleasure?”

  It’s for fortune and glory! “Pleasure of course. We’re just running over to...” Don’t say EternCity! And don’t mention the Zombie town, or the Lost Picman’s Mine!

  “You don’t know where you’re going?” Pozzuoli leaned forward on the counter. “You sure it’s a pleasure and no business?”

  Yaaa! He suspects something! “No, no. We’re just running over to South Jute for a few days. We just need a few days supplies to get us to South Jute and back.” Smooooth!

  “How-a long you going to be gone?”

  Don’t’ say over a month like Drimblerod said! Think of another number that won’t be suspicious! “Two weeks, I suppose.”

  Pozzuoli nodded. “Two weeks on the roads. You got a place to stay in the Jute?”

  What would be more suspicious- a place to stay or not a place to stay? “We’re going to be staying out in the open, I think. We’ll be camping out.
”

  “Why not in an Inn? South Jute has some nice hotels.”

  “No!” Grimbledung realized he shouted it. “Err, I mean, we’re supposed to be camping. Drimblerod said so.”

  Pozzuoli shrugged. “So you need a tent then?”

  “Sure.”

  “To buy or to rent?” Pozzuoli pulled out a long quill.

  “What’s the difference?”

  “You want to keep-a the tent?”

  “What’d I want with a tent?

  “Renting a tent,” Pozzuoli said as he made an notation on a piece of parchment. “So food too?”

  Grimbledung nodded. “We can rent the food?” He stuck out his tongue. “Does that mean we have to bring it back after we pooped it out?”

  “Ahh.” Pozzuoli began, flummoxed. “No. The food you buy.”

  “We should probably eat, Drim and I.”

  Pozzuoli made another annotation. “Just you two?”

  “Mmm-hmmm,” Grimbledung said, noncommittally. He moved to look at a shelf of lanterns.

  “Need any wagon supplies? Extra wheel, parts, that-a sort of thing?”

  “Prolly not for such a short trip.” He picked up a lantern. “Folks buy these?”

  “They a-do.”

  “Why don’t they just use a wand?”

  Pozzuoli put down the quill. “Some people no like magic. Other times, magic, she no a-work and you need good old fire to see what you are doing. Or to cook.” He picked up the quill again. “You want one?”

  “Maybe one, I suppose.” Smooth! Grimbledung put it back on the shelf. He noticed coils of rope stacked beside the shelf. “We’ll take some rope too.”

  “How much you need?” Pozzuoli dipped the quill in the ink well several times to load it up. Rope was a high profit margin item.

  What’s a good length of rope? Twenty is a big number. That’s a lot of copper coins. “Twenty feet would be more than enough for what we’re going to be doing.”

  “What you going to be doing?”

  Yaaaa!! “Nothing. Nothing at all. I just like rope is all.”

  Pozzuoli made another annotation. “So anything else you need? You don’t got a lot of stuff.” He looked at the short, marginally profitable list he had made. Time to upsell. “Say, where you sleeping? On the ground? You need a good bedroll or two.”