Love Me or Leave Me Alone

by Nikisha Mock

  “Anything,” Damien said eagerly.

  “After this talk, when the last word has been spoken, I want you to never, under any circumstances, call me again. You hear me?”

  “Oh, is that it? A’ight Eva, that’s a promise. I just need to talk to you, that’s it.”

  “Okay. So I ask again, when and where?”

  “Meet me in about thirty minutes at the Applebee’s near your house.”

  “Done. You have ten minutes and not a minute more. If you’re late, the deal is off and I’m leaving.”

  “I’ll see you in a minute,” he said and hung up the phone.

  I wasn’t sure why I’d agreed to meet Damien, but if it meant that I’d finally be free from his random phone calls and texts then so be it. He could say the sky is green for all I cared as long as it was the last time I heard his voice. In the middle of my thoughts, my cell phone rang again. This time I looked at it first and it was Ayanna.

  “Girl! You are not going to believe the drama that has happened to me today!” I said without so much as a hello.

  “Aww hell, what now?” Ayanna said in an exasperated tone.

  “So I get this call from Tyler, only it wasn’t him on his phone. It was some chick named Karen and…” I started, but Ayanna cut me off.

  “The fuck? Oh hell naw!” she was screaming in the phone.

  “Yanna! Let me finish, damn!”

  “A’ight, a’ight my bad, continue.”

  “It was this Karen chick that Tyler had a nothing/something with before him and me. He said it was a random on and off thing, but that it was a done deal. I believed him because I felt he had no reason to lie to me. But she called me from his phone while he and her sister’s boyfriend, Jay, were at the gym.”

  “Hold the phone. Her sister has a boyfriend they call Jay? It better not be Ciara’s Jay?” Ayanna said.

  “You’re right, it shouldn’t be Ciara’s Jay this chick was talking about but…” I began, but Ayanna cut me off again.

  “Shut the book! I know this is a lie! Jay? Are you serious?”

  “Yanna, the girl said Tyler was out with her sister’s man which was no big deal because I don’t know her or her sister. But while she and I were talking, Tyler and his gym buddy came back to his house. Tyler put me on speakerphone to put homegirl on blast. Sure enough, Jay was in the background trying to testify for his boy. I’ve been trying to call Ciara ever since, but I keep getting her voicemail.”

  “Both of these fools are crazy! Ciara probably isn’t answering because she said she was headed to the mall. You know she doesn’t get good cell phone reception there. This is going to crush her. Where you at? We need to go to Ciara’s house once we get her on the phone. You gotta tell her this mess face to face. We can’t leave her alone with this kind of news.”

  “Yeah, I guess you’re right. Wait, this is her beeping in now.”

  “Wait! Where you at? Are you at home?” Ayanna asked.

  “Yeah girl, come on,” I said then switched lines.

  “Ciara, girl where are you?” I asked without saying hello.

  She laughed. “Dang girl, what’s with all the urgency?”

  “I’ve been trying to call you. Some major shit just went down. We gotta talk!”

  “Oh lordy. Well I’m just pulling up at home. Come on over,” she said.

  “Okay, I’m on my way. And by the way, is Jay there?” I asked curiously.

  “No. Why?” I could tell Ciara was beginning to worry.

  “I just asked. Ayanna is on her way too. We’ll be there in a few,” I said and hung up before Ciara could ask me more questions.

  At first, I was hoping she didn’t call Jay and ask what was up but even if she did, fuck it. He had no idea that I knew about this Asia chick.

  I dropped my kids off with my mom and got to Ciara’s house in no time. Ayanna pulled in right behind me. Perfect timing.

  “Did you tell her yet?” Ayanna asked, running to catch up with me at the door.

  “Shh! No, I did like you said and waited ‘til we got here,” I said.

  Ciara met us at the door. “Okay y’all, tell me what’s going on,” she said as she opened the door for us.

  We sat down at the kitchen table and I broke down the whole scenario for Ciara. Afterwards she didn’t utter a single word for a minute. I felt like shit for bringing this news to her, but she had to know.

  “How do you feel honey?” I asked.

  She sighed. A single tear rolled own her left cheek.

  “I knew it was something. I refused to go looking for it. But I knew it was something. That shit found me anyway, didn’t it?” she said in a whisper.

  Ayanna grabbed her hand. “Listen Ciara, you and Jay have been together since mutt was a pup. I know this hurts, especially hearing it from your girls. But talk to your man. Make him tell you what the deal is. This ain’t over until you say it’s over. You hear me?”

  “Yeah, I hear you. But he better make it good, because it sounds like one of us is about to be homeless and it sure as hell ain’t about to be me!” Ciara said.

  Just then, we heard Jay’s car pulling up. Ayanna and I stood up. We looked at Ciara to see if she wanted us to stay or go. She shook her head, indicating that she was alright.

  “If this negro gets out of hand, you call me,” I said as we turned to leave, “I’m only going around the block to the café on the corner. I can be back here in no time flat.”

  “Thanks Eva. You know I’ll call you if I have to, but I got this y’all. Thanks and I love you both,” Ciara said.

  But there was something about the quiet voice with which she spoke that sent a chill through me.

  Outside I turned to Ayanna and said, “Do you think we should really leave?”

  “I’m just not sure. But she said she got this, so we need to respect that. Besides, Jay’s ass ain’t crazy. I wish he would do something stupid. Come on, let’s go get some coffee and let all this drama settle down,” she suggested.

  On the way to the café, I checked my phone which I’d left in the car. I had five missed calls; two from Tyler and three from Damien. Oh shit! I was supposed to meet Damien an hour ago! Oh well, so what? He deserved to be stood up. I’d deal with his ass much later, if ever.

  Inside, Ayanna and I chose a window seat and talked.

  I let out a long heavy sigh. “This shit is unreal. Tyler really fooled me, but Jay beats all. I need to know exactly how long this Asia girl has been in the picture. Ciara has been nothing but good to him. That should have been enough to keep him at home with her and only her. These men and their shit will make you catch a case for real.”

  “Shit. A man ain’t worth my freedom. If he wants Susie, Jane, and Helen, let him have all of those broads. I’ll go get Jim, Bob, and Randall. I refuse to be one of many women a man has and know about it. Ayanna plays second to none. This is why it’s been so long since I’ve been in a relationship. Just the other day, I had to break it down to Mario about not rushing into things. Ever since that first night at his house, he has been really pushing to spend every minute possible with me. He rarely agrees to meet up at his house, usually we just chill at mine. I like spending time with him, don’t get me wrong. He’s just becoming a little too clingy for my taste, and I wasn’t expecting this at all.”

  “Wow, has it been that bad? Maybe you need to just talk to him and ask him what he’s looking for. If you two aren’t on the same page, then this could turn ugly real fast,” I warned.

  “I know and I have tried to explain to him that I will not be forced into anything serious. I’ll move in that direction when I’m good and ready. I made it perfectly clear from the beginning that I wanted to take things slow. Now I like him a lot, Eva. You already know that for a fact. I just have mixed emotions when it comes to him. I think it has something to do with Dre. For the life of me, I can’t get that fool out of my mind. Or my bed for that matter,” she said then looked away from me.

  I paused for a second. “Hold up, p
lease tell me you are not messing around with that boy’s cousin, not to mention roommate? Yanna! What are you thinking girl?”

  “Eva, you don’t even have to say anything else because I have asked myself the same damn thing. After that night, Dre started calling me. He said he got my number from Mario, but I don’t believe that. He must’ve seen it on the caller ID or something. There’s no way Mario would give his own cousin my number.”

  I was shaking my head because with college guys, hell with any guys for that matter, you just never know.

  “What? You think he really gave him my number? If he did, why would he push so hard to make this thing exclusive?” she asked.

  “It could all be just a game for them. Stranger things have happened. All I’m going to say is please be careful. You are playing with fire. I suggest you pick one and be done with it. I don’t want anything crazy to happen to you,” I said as a warning to my friend.

  She has to know this is serious. People can really get hurt over smaller situations than this so she has to know it’s only a matter of time before this whole situation blows up in her face.

  “I know you’re right, Eva. The plan was just to have a little fun with Mario, but he got under my skin. I like him a lot, I told y’all that. But once that night with Dre happened, things changed. Dre is intense, persistent, and everything Mario isn’t. Dre makes my body feel like it’s on fire, and Mario makes me feel like I’m floating on air. One feels like love and the other feels like death but in a good way. Weird? Sure. But either way, I haven’t been able to stop it.”

  “Crazy is the better word to use because that’s exactly what this is. Ayanna, you better get a handle on all this and fast. It may seem like fun now, but somebody’s going to get hurt if you keep this up and it better not be you.”

  “I will Eva, I promise. I’ll call Mario and talk to him tonight.”

  “Why Mario? He’s clearly the one that cares about you. Sounds like Dre is all for a good time and may possibly be a little dangerous based on the way you described him. Just be careful. That’s all I ask.”

  “I promise Eva. Hey, do you think we should go back and check on Ciara?” Ayanna asked.

  “I was just about to say the same thing,” I said as we paid our bills and headed back to Ciara’s house.

  As we walked up onto the porch, we noticed that the front door wasn’t closed all the way. I was about to knock but suddenly Ayanna grabbed my arm.

  “Ouch! Girl what is wrong with…” I started but she shushed me.

  “Listen!” she whispered harshly.

  And I did. What we heard shocked us. Ayanna tipped the door so that it would open a little more and all we saw were clothes scattered across the living room floor. We could hear heavy panting and what sounded like someone being slapped. I was about to burst through the door and then I heard Ciara say “Yes Jay! Damn, that’s it, baby. Fuck me harder!”

  I just dropped my head. Ayanna was giggling underneath her breath. I didn’t see what was so funny. I couldn’t imagine how they ended up fucking at a time like this.

  “What in the...how in the... you know what? I’m not sure what I was expecting, but this sure wasn’t it. I thought she would’ve sent Jay running up out of here. He must’ve had the bomb ass alibi and excuse,” I whispered.

  “Nope. He has the bomb alright according to Ciara, but it has nothing to do with words,” Ayanna couldn’t hide her amusement. “Come on Eva, let’s go. I do believe our girl’s going to be just fine.”

  “I guess you’re right,” I laughed and we got into our cars and headed in separate directions.

  I went to get my babies and go home. After such a drama filled day, all I wanted was a hot shower and my bed. Maybe even a drink with a man named José. Hopefully, Ayanna was headed in the direction of sanity, but it seemed to have left the building when it came to the mess she’d gotten herself into. Before bed, I said prayers for all of us because I’m sure we’re going to need them.

  Chapter 16

  One Week Later

  I hadn’t heard from either of my girls in a week, and I was starting to worry about them both. I decided to give Ciara her space because I knew she would come around when she was ready. I sent her a text every day letting her know that she was on my mind and all I’d get back was a smiley face. I knew that meant that she needed more time.

  Tyler has been on my mind all day also, and Damien has sent one text after another. I ignored every one of them. I was completely drained after dinner with my babies, but my mind was still racing with thoughts of Tyler. Once I got the kids in bed, I decided to return his calls. He must have been waiting for me to call because he answered on the first ring.

  “Eva, I’m so glad you called me back. Listen, we need to talk about all this,” he said in one quick breath.

  “Okay.”

  “Can I come over? I need to see you baby.” He sounded so pitiful.

  “Okay,” I said again and hung up the phone.

  I just didn’t feel like arguing. I was tired. I was physically, mentally, and emotionally tired. If Tyler wants to come over and talk, I’ll let him. A part of me already knew that I was going to let him off the hook with this one, but it would not be easy and it all depended on his explanation. If I hadn’t heard Jay’s words for myself, I probably wouldn’t have believed him at all.

  I showered, turned on a movie, and waited for Tyler to get here. I didn’t have to wait long because he was ringing the bell as soon as I sat down. I had to take a deep breath when I opened the door. Tyler was looking all kinds of good in a black t-shirt, black Yankee fitted cap, and True Religion jeans. I am a sucker for a man who dresses well.

  Tyler walked in but he didn’t move to go around me. He walked straight forward, so I had no choice but to move backwards. His stare was intense and I lost my breath. When my back bumped against the wall, he still didn’t stop coming forward. With no room left between us, he continued to stare. Just when I was about to speak, he put both hands on the sides of my face and kissed me. I thought my knees would buckle. I can’t put into words what this man does to me!

  “I have been waiting to do that all week,” Tyler said in rushed breaths.

  “Is that right?”

  “Hell yeah! Damn Eva, I have missed you so much. I want you to know that I don’t want anything to do with that girl and it was all just one big ass misunderstanding. I put her ass in check and I haven’t heard from her since. I know that’s really hard to believe but please try, baby. I need you to believe me. I don’t want to miss out on you because of a misunderstanding like this.”

  I was touched by his words. He sounded so sincere that I already believed him, but I needed to hear what he had to say. I needed to look him in his eyes as he spoke to me. I was sure that I could get over this little mishap, but he needed to know that I did not think it was cool that he left this woman in his house.

  “See, the thing I don’t understand is why you were so comfortable with leaving her alone in your house? Why would you do that? Couldn’t you have just taken her to her sister’s house or at least waited around until she came? It just seems a little too close for comfort to me,” I said.

  “I know and I’m kicking my own ass for doing that. But I saw that she needed help so I lent a helping hand. I never thought twice about giving her a ride because she can be a little irritating and I didn’t want to hear her drama about why she felt like things didn’t work out between us. I am sorry for putting you in a situation where you had to doubt me. I would never purposely do that.”

  “Okay, Tyler, I believe you. What’s most important is the fact that you cared enough to explain things to me. What helped you the most is the fact that Jay was there and I was able to hear him put old girl on blast. Otherwise, it might’ve been a lot harder for me to believe you. Hey, speaking of Jay, have you talked to him?” I asked, remembering about him and his chick on the side.

  Tyler took a deep breath and shook his head. “Man, I don’t know how Jay managed t
o get himself involved with that girl and before you ask me, no they did not meet through me. Karen and Asia aren’t even that close. Asia just moved back into town about a year ago. Jay knows Ciara is a good woman, I have no idea why he’d want to mess that up, and I’ve told him that over and over.”

  But enough about them, let’s talk about you and me. Are we good?” he asked, looking at me again as if he could see through me.

  I smiled at him. He made my heart warm when he looked at me like that.

  “Yeah, we’re good. Just be careful. You don’t have many free passes with me,” I said and winked.

  “Yes ma’am. Don’t worry about it. I plan on making this all up to you.”

  “Do you? So when can I expect this repayment?”

  “Right now.”

  Tyler grabbed me and picked me up so that my legs were on either side of him. I laughed and told him that he better not drop me. Right after he carried me upstairs he put me down on the bed and stretched my legs apart.

  Starting at my feet, Tyler gently massaged my entire body and then he told me to turn over to my stomach. I was wearing a camisole and panties so it was easy for Tyler to maneuver around them. He caressed my neck and then placed gentle kisses from there down to the small of my back. His hands were all over me. His fingertips sent waves of pleasure throughout my entire body each time they touched me. He had the touch of an experienced masseuse. I was enjoying every minute of it.

  He was making sure he showed me how much he missed me. Tyler came to me and stood between my legs which were dangling over the edge of the bed. He leaned forward and hugged me. His muscular arms felt so good around me that I never wanted him to let go. He climbed into bed and told me to relax. He told me that he just wanted to be there with me and he wanted me to just relax and rest. I turned onto my side with my back to him and he put his arm around me and hugged me close to him. I don’t recall ever feeling so safe than at that moment. It was beautiful because it wasn’t about sex and it didn’t feel forced or phony. Being with Tyler in this way let me see him in a different light and it let me know that he was interested in me and how I felt, not just for what I could do for him sexually. I had to respect that about him. I drifted off to sleep thinking that I could get used to this.