by Nikisha Mock
Chapter 17
“Answer the door, Ciara, I know you’re in there because I can hear the TV,” I said through Ciara’s front door.
I waited a beat and still no other sounds came from inside the house besides the TV so I knocked again. As I was about to knock for the third time, the door opened slowly and what I saw scared me and immediately brought tears to my eyes.
Ciara stood in front of me, eyes blood red and full of tears. Her hair looked like it had been pulled back into a ponytail at some point, but it was now unruly with strands of hair sticking out in every direction. She had on one of Jay’s large t-shirts. It was so big on her that it came down to her knees and was dirty. It looked like she’d spilled something brown down the front of the shirt.
I moved forward with my arms outstretched, but she moved out of the way and then turned and sat down on her couch. It was an odd movement but I was going to roll with it and follow her lead. Sitting beside each other, no one spoke for quite some time. The TV was on, but I couldn’t tell you what was playing because I wasn’t focused on it at all. Ciara moved her mouth to speak but no words came out. Instead, she just started crying and rocking back and forth. This time when I reached over to hug her, she didn’t resist. We cried together for a long while and when she was ready to talk, I was ready to listen.
“Eva, I’m sorry for not returning any of your calls but I just couldn’t talk to anybody. It felt like I closed in on myself and couldn’t find my way back out again. I still feel that way. I have let Jay be my whole world for years. I felt like I sent myself right out the door with him when I made him leave. I forgot who I am and who I’m supposed to be. How did I become that chick?” she cried.
“Shhh. Don’t go blaming yourself for trusting in your man and your relationship. What were you supposed to do, live your life on edge and never enjoy what the two of you were building together? No Ciara, you did what any woman in your position would’ve done. You trusted Jay with your heart. There is nothing wrong with that, honey.”
“When he came home that day and you guys left, I wanted to yell. I wanted to scream and throw things. But when I saw Jay and he looked at me with those sexy eyes, I don’t know what came over me. I walked up to him and kissed him fiercely. Something clicked inside me and I had to have him right then. Of course, he had no idea what you had just told me so he was more than happy to oblige. We knocked over the coffee table and everything on it. We almost knocked over the TV stand. He was going slow and soft at first but I told him I didn’t want that. I told him to fuck me hard and not to stop. I wanted him to finish the pain that he had already caused.”
“What’s gotten into you today, C?” he asked me.
“Right now, all you need to know is that I want you to fuck me hard and don’t you dare stop until I cum!”
“Jay started smiling and grabbed my ass real tight as he continued to pound me. I put my arms around his back and then I tried to scratch all the skin off. Jay yelled a little, but I squeezed my legs tighter around him and told him he better not stop. The more he pounded me, and the deeper he went, the more I rose up to meet his punishment. I could feel him shaking and I knew he was about to cum. As he did, so did I and then I started crying. Jay thought I was feeling so good that I was emotional so he tried to kiss me. I let him put his lips on mine and then I tried to bite his fucking bottom lip off! He screamed and jumped back and away from me. I jumped up too, and punched him in his left eye.
“Ciara, what the fuck you doing?”
“Kicking your ass you lying, cheating, piece of shit!”
“What? What the hell you talking about girl?”
“Who the fuck is Asia, Jay?”
“Silence. Dead muthafuckin silence. Eva he dropped his head and didn’t say one word. I screamed at him and told him he better start talking. He was just shaking his head from side to side. I told him if anybody should’ve been shaking their head, it was me because I was the one feeling stupid. But what he said next I was not prepared for.”
“Ciara, damn, I never wanted you to find out this way. I am so sorry baby. I should’ve told you long before now.”
“Told me what, Jay? That you been fucking some bitch named Asia behind my back? Well I’m glad you didn’t do me any fucking favors!”
“No I should’ve told you a long time ago that I fell in love with someone else. It wasn’t intentional, but things were rocky between you and me. When I met Asia, she was so easy to talk to. It was all innocent at first, but as I got to know her, the more I realized that we had the same ideas about life and where we want to be in the future. Her goals match mine and she’s so enthusiastic about life. I didn’t mean to fall in love with her. I never thought things would go on as long as they have, but after awhile it just felt so right. I had no idea how to tell you.”
Ciara’s voice broke and tears fell down her face but she didn’t make any sounds. I rubbed her arm and gave her time to get herself together before she spoke again.
“Eva, I could not believe that this man that I had loved with all my heart for all these years was actually standing there telling me that he loved another woman. As much as I didn’t want to, I told him if this Asia chick was that great and he loved her so much then that is where he needed to be. I opened the front door and told him to get the fuck out.” What she’d just told me was some heavy shit. I didn’t know what to say. I mean, I was glad that she took a stand and put Jay out. He deserved that and then some. What I wasn’t happy about was the fact that she had to live with knowing that the man she loved so much had basically told her that he’d fallen out of love with her. My heart went out to her at that moment.
“Ciara, I hope you never blame this on yourself. If Jay was able to allow himself to open up to another woman that easily then he was never in this relationship for the right reasons anyway. He damn sure wasn’t worth your time. I know he hurt you, but you can bounce back from this. Sure, it’s hard but you have to get yourself back to the Ciara that I know. Honey, you didn’t forget who you are. You were just in love and there is nothing wrong with that. Jay didn’t deserve the woman he had in you. Fuck him and his sideline bitch because that is all she will ever be. It started out as a lie and it will end the same way because what goes around comes around. For now though, we need to get to work on you. What can I do to help?”
Ciara took a deep breath. She was still crying but it was softly now and more controlled.
“Eva, you being here is enough for me. I have tried to figure out how Jay could just leave like that and never try to call me or say over and over that he’s sorry, but I realize that he’s able to do that because he’s not sorry. He doesn’t give a damn about me, and he’s showing me that every day that goes by without him reaching out to me. I know I look a mess and I will get myself together. I just needed some time because I couldn’t face the world feeling the way that I do. I couldn’t even face myself,” she said.
“Oh girl, I know that and you are entitled to take as much time as you need. But I’m here now and we’re going to fix this mess, starting with this hair of yours. Girl, when is the last time you washed this mess?” I laughed.
Ciara laughed too. “I look a mess, huh?”
“Yeah, but you’re still as beautiful as ever. Why don’t you go shower and wash your hair? When you get out, I’ll condition and blow dry it for you.”
“Okay. And Eva,” she paused. “Thank you. You are always there when I need you the most and I love you for that.”
“That’s what friends are for. I love you too, C.”
While Ciara was in the shower, I started cleaning the house. I made sure everything was neat and in order. . I cooked a quick meal for us, and even braided Ciara’s hair in two big braids so that she wouldn’t have to deal with it for a while. We hugged and told each other that we loved each other. I told my girl to keep her chin up and know that she will bounce back from this, just like always. I left feeling like my girl would be alright.
Chapter 18
> “Mommy, can we go do something fun today? Just the two of us?” Kayla asked in what must have been the sweetest voice she could put together.
I smiled down at my mini me. “You read my mind little diva. Let’s go!”
We went to my favorite nail spa and got pedicures and manicures. She always enjoys this just as much as I do. I love having these precious mommy/daughter moments with her.
As I was sitting with a hot paraffin treatment on my feet, a woman walked in speaking a little too loudly on her cell phone.
“Yeah, I want a pedicure please,” she demanded, only taking her cell phone away from her ear long enough to bark her orders.
She continued to babble into her cell phone which was very tacky in my book, but the things she was talking about began to catch my attention.
“Girl yes, he is going all out for me this time. I told him to invite his best friend, but he told me he got a new girlfriend and he spends all his time with her. What? Yeah girl, I know. My baby is so sweet. I told Jay, he going to have to stop spoiling me the way he does because I will get used to it.”
I was thinking to myself that this chick couldn’t possibly be talking about the Jay that I knew, but I got the answer to that about a minute later. In walked another woman and they started talking real loud. “Hey girl, I’m so glad you made it!” the human chatterbox said.
“Hey Asia, I’m glad I made it too. After the week I’ve had, Lord knows I could use this time to relax,” the other woman said.
Asia. Jay. I turned the names over in my mind and then chuckled to myself. These are the simple bitches Jay and Tyler were involved with? Well Jay is still apparently with Asia and all I could do was trust that Tyler had come to his senses about this Karen broad. They continued their chatter and had no idea that I was listening to every word.
“Look mommy, my nails are all pink with blue stars!” Kayla said as her manicurist sat her down next to me.
I smiled at my baby. “I see that baby doll. They look really pretty.”
“Aww, she’s so pretty,” the one named Asia said.
I looked up at her and didn’t respond immediately, I just kind of stared at her. She smiled uncomfortably and I said a polite ‘thank you’ and then turned back to talking to Kayla.
Karen never spoke a word. She was just staring at me and then she turned to her sister and resumed their conversation.
“So have you talked to Ty?” Asia asked her sister.
Karen sighed and shook her head. “Asia, I don’t know why you keep asking me that. No, I haven’t. He made it clear that things with us are done. I cannot keep hoping that one day he will change his mind. I deserve better than that. It’s not like I can’t find somebody else.”
“True but still, I know that you were happy when you were with Tyler. I don’t know who this Eva bitch is, but I intend to find out. When I do, I plan on having a little fun,” Asia said and had the nerve to laugh like it was the joke of the year.
I squeezed my eyes shut for a second and took long, deep breaths. I had to mentally calm myself down, especially after being called a bitch by a total stranger.
“What’s wrong, Mommy? Does your head hurt?” Kayla asked. She must have seen me with my eyes closed.
“No baby, I think it’s some of the smells that are in here. Something is really stinking up this place all of a sudden,” I said loudly.
I could feel the ladies looking at me so I looked up to return the favor. They were still talking, only not as loudly as they had before.
As Kayla and I got up to leave, I stopped at the counter in front of the spa to pay for our services. At that moment, the door behind me opened and I could hear Asia yelling, “Hey baby! Over here!”
I put the pen down that I was using to sign the credit card slip and turned around slowly. When our eyes met, he stopped completely in his tracks. My eyes must have been shooting daggers at him because he flinched a little.
“Uncle Jay!” Kayla screamed and ran up and hugged Jay around the legs.
“Uncle Jay?” I heard both women say in unison.
“Baby be careful, you’ll ruin your nails,” I said as I tugged on Kayla’s arm a little, never taking my eyes off of Jay.
“Hey. How you been, lady?” Jay managed to say as the shock of seeing me wore off.
“Hey? How have I been? You know what, fuck you Jay. You are nothing that I thought you were. I always had good things to say about you. Whenever Ciara had doubts, I was always the one telling her to talk things out with you and to listen to what you had to say. Boy, what a fool I was. You never deserved a woman like Ciara and you will never replace her. I don’t give a damn how many sidelines you pick up in the street, they will never be who Ciara was for you. I hope you can sleep well at night knowing that. And for the record, I am just fine. I’ll tell Tyler you said hello.”
As I prepared to make my exit, I turned to look back at the two sisters whose eyes were glued to Jay and me as if we were the latest soap opera. I emphasized Tyler’s name and said it extra loud so that both women could hear me. I stood there, looking first at Asia and then at Karen. Then I grabbed Kayla by the hand, put my purse on my shoulder, and sashayed right up out of that place. Needless to say, Hollywood Spa and Nails would no longer be my favorite place. It had been tainted.
During the drive back to my mother’s house, I was pretty much quiet. Any doubts I’d had about Tyler’s involvement with Karen had been squashed when I heard her say out loud that she was done trying to get back into his life. But I was more upset about Jay. Asia was so busy bragging about her ‘man’ this and her ‘man’ that and she had no idea that I was the best friend of the woman she and Jay almost destroyed with their bullshit.
That’s why I always say be careful what you say in public because you never know who is who. Jay looked like he saw a ghost when he saw me, but what was that about? He was obviously on his job, making sure his new love was completely spoiled and happy, so what difference did it make if he saw me or not?
He told Ciara to her face that he was in love with Asia, so why did it matter to him or not if Ciara was doing okay? Tyler was constantly telling me that Jay asked about Ciara on the regular and I was constantly telling Tyler to tell Jay exactly where he could go. I meant what I said to him in that spa. There was no way that Asia chick could compare to my girl. First of all, she was classless and she was rude. She was a bragger and there is nothing that I hate more than a loud mouth. I decided that I wouldn’t even tell Ciara about seeing all of them. She was doing fine, and I planned on making sure that she stayed on that path. Fuck Jay.
“Kayla, mommy’s sorry for using bad words in front of you, okay? It’s just that I don’t like your Uncle Jay very much anymore. In fact, you know that he and Auntie CiCi aren’t together anymore, right?” I asked my daughter.
“Yes ma’am, I know. Does that mean he’s not my uncle anymore? I know he’s not really my uncle, but do you want me to stop calling him that?”
“Well I don’t like telling you what to call people, but it wouldn’t hurt my feelings if you decided to just call him Mr. Jay if you ever see him again.”
“Okay Mommy. You got it!” Kayla said, smiling at me as usual.
I love my baby girl. She is so insightful to be her age. I hoped that continues on to her adult years so that she can pick up on any games a guy tries to play with her. A mother can only wish for that.
At my mother’s house, Miles was sitting on the porch playing with his PSP as usual. He looked up when we came up on the porch and smiled at us.
“Hey Momma,” he greeted me.
“Hey Miles, how’s your granny?”
“She’s cool. She went inside to start some dinner for us.”
Inside, I was greeted to the smell of chicken frying on the stove and biscuits baking in the oven. My momma never missed the opportunity to cook for her family. I greeted her with a kiss on the cheek and a smile.
“Hi, baby. Did you and Kayla enjoy your day?”
“
We sure did, Granny. Next time you have to come with us!” Kayla exclaimed while hugging her grandmother around the waist.
“Yeah Ma, you should come with us next time, you’d like it,” I said.
“I might do that,” she said and winked at me. “You going to stay and eat with us?”
“I would, but I promised Ayanna I would go and help her get ready for the party.”
“Okay darling. Tell the girls I said hello, would you?”
“Of course Momma, and as always, I really appreciate you watching the kids for me tonight.”
“Now you know you don’t have to thank me. My grandbabies are all the company that I need, and it is never a problem with you bringing them over here. I know you spend as much time with them as you can and you’ve made sure that all their needs are met and then some. I’m here to make sure that you never forget to take some time out for yourself. You deserve a break too, baby.”
I love my momma with all my heart. I hugged her again and then I hugged each of my babies before leaving to go meet Ayanna. She needed me to help pick up a few things.
We decided to go to Sam’s Club and buy most of the food and things that we would need.
“Ugh, I don’t know why you had to come to Sam’s on a freakin Saturday. You know that’s when the whole city decides to come and shop.”
I hate trying to shop when the stores are just crawling with people. It knocks my irritation level up ten notches.
“Waaa, shake it off you big baby. We’ll be in and out, you just watch.”
“Oh I know we will because I will leave your ass right here.”
“And if you do, you betta keep driving and don’t look back because when I catch your ass, I’m slapping the shit outta you.”
We laugh and joke with each other like this all the time. It’s what let us know we were truly friends. She knows I would never leave her, but I’ve been tempted a time or two because Ayanna is like somebody’s grandmother when it comes to shopping. She leaves no aisle unturned. You can expect to be in any store with her at least an hour, and that’s minimum.