The Single Dad's Family Recipe

by Rachael Johns

  No. I can’t do this.

  Yanking her phone out of her pocket, Eliza began typing out an apology message to Lilly and as she did so, she turned and started back in the direction she’d come. She was just about to press Send when her foot caught on a crack in the path. A yelp left her mouth as her phone flew out of her grasp and her whole body shot forward. Instinctively, she put her hands out to try to save her fall, but it didn’t quite work out. Two seconds later, she found herself lying flat on the path, a small crowd quickly gathering around her.

  Her first thought wasn’t the pain on her head or the embarrassment of falling so spectacularly in such a public place. It wasn’t even, Where is my phone?

  “You okay?” asked a man, crouching down next to her and depositing her phone on the ground.

  “Let me through, I know first aid,” boomed a very familiar voice from somewhere above as Eliza attempted to pick herself back up.

  “Oh, my God, I know her,” shrieked Lilly, dropping to her knees beside her.

  Eliza had never been happier to see her friend in her life. She stopped trying to get up and instead burst into tears—it seemed crying was the only thing she was good at these days.

  “Oh, Lize.” As the strangers dispersed, Lilly helped her into a sitting position, then dug around in her purse and conjured a small packet of tissues as she spoke. “What have you done to yourself? You’ve got a horrible gash on your forehead.” She thrust a tissue against the spot and held it firmly. “Do you think you can stand, or are you feeling dizzy? If you can get up, we should go into the restroom and clean you up. That way, I’ll be able to have a proper look and see if you need stitches.”

  But Eliza didn’t care about the blood trickling down the side of her face. She was almost numb to the pain that accompanied it. Her hands rushed to cradle her stomach as she thought about the new life growing there.

  What if this fall makes me lose it?

  Then the pain came—in the form of a big whoosh to her heart.

  “My baby,” she whispered.

  “Huh?” Lilly blinked and her hand fell from Eliza’s forehead as her gaze dropped to Eliza’s stomach. “What did you just say?”

  “I’m pregnant.” Eliza said the words for the first time since she’d told Lachlan. Grammy knew that something was going on but Eliza hadn’t been able to bring herself to mention the baby yet. Part of her had thought if she didn’t tell anyone, maybe it would just go away but suddenly she knew with absolute certainty she didn’t want that.

  As terrifying as the idea of being a mom again was, as scared as she was of messing up and experiencing more pain, she wanted this chance and she wanted to have it with Lachlan. Sitting on this hard ground now, she craved his arms around her. But what if she did lose the baby? Lachlan might think she’d got rid of it on purpose.

  As these thoughts whirled through her head, her sobs came harder and faster.

  “Oh, honey.” Ignoring the blood now, Lilly drew Eliza into her arms. “It’ll be okay.”

  Her friend held her until her tears finally started to subside and then she gently suggested they go clean Eliza up. “Do you want to go back to my apartment—Britt will still be out with my mom—or do you still want to have lunch?”

  “I don’t think I could eat anything right now,” Eliza said.

  So Lilly gave her a hand up off the ground, then held her close as they headed to find a cab. In the car, she gave their driver her address and then held Eliza’s hand the whole way to her place. Neither of them said anything—a silent agreement not to air her dirty laundry to their cabbie—and when they got into Lilly’s house, she took Eliza straight into the bathroom and tended her wound before anything else.

  When the blood had stopped, the area was clean and Lilly had applied antiseptic cream to Eliza’s forehead, she stood back and said, “If you’re unlucky, you’ll end up with a Harry Potter scar on your forehead.”

  Eliza almost laughed. Her life might be a shambles but Lilly always had the ability to make her feel a little better.

  “So...I would offer you wine,” Lilly said, “but in the light of what you’ve just told me, maybe juice would be better for this discussion. Want to come sit down?”

  Eliza nodded and a few minutes later, they were both sitting on Eliza’s couch, nursing a glass of juice. She took a sip and then put her drink down on the coffee table. “I’m not really sure where to start.”

  “How about who the father is?” Lilly said.

  “Very funny. I told you I’d started seeing Lachlan.”

  Lilly nodded. “But you also told me you were taking things slow. Next thing you tell me, you’re knocked up.”

  “It was a shock to me, as well,” she said as she told her friend about her resolve not to ever have another baby. “I even told Lachlan I wasn’t sure I wanted to have the baby,” she concluded.

  Lilly’s eyes widened. “You thought you might get rid of it?”

  “I don’t really know,” Eliza admitted. “I hadn’t thought as far as logistics. All I knew is that I couldn’t face the thought of becoming a mother again and so I came back here to try to get my head together.”

  Lilly reached for Eliza’s hand. “And has it worked? Have you made a decision?”

  Eliza let out a long, deep breath. “I’ve thought about nothing else for five days but until that moment I fell today, I was as confused and terrified as ever. I couldn’t help feeling that if I allowed myself to feel anything for this baby, it would be a betrayal to Jack. But when I tripped, my first thought was of the baby’s safety and suddenly I knew...” She sniffed as tears threatened once again. “I knew that whether or not I want to, I already love this child. And not only do I also love its father, but I love his two gorgeous children, as well. My heart feels like it could burst with love for them all.”

  “Oh, Eliza.” Lilly squeezed her hand. “Just because you love another baby doesn’t mean your love for Jack is any less. I know how scary this must be but you are the bravest person I know and you can do this. You deserve to be happy again.”

  “But what if Lachlan doesn’t want me anymore?” She remembered the look on his face when she’d said she wasn’t sure if she wanted to have the baby and a chill filled her heart. How could she ever have thought such a thing?

  Maybe she’d already ruined things with him.

  “I haven’t met Lachlan,” Lilly began, “and I can’t tell you what he thinks or feels, but from the little bits you’ve told me about him, he sounds like a caring and reasonable person. Go back and talk to him. Tell him what you just told me.”

  At the thought of seeing him again, Eliza’s cold heart sped up. It was time to stop running and face her fears. Time to stop waiting to wake up from her nightmare and start living again.

  She lifted her arm and looked at her watch. “I wonder what time the next flight to Oregon is?”

  Lilly’s face split into a grin. “Leave that to me. You go pack your bags and I’ll book you on it.”

  “I thought you didn’t want me to live in Oregon,” Eliza said, braving a smile.

  “I didn’t. I don’t. But I do want you to be happy, so I’ll learn to live with it.”

  * * *

  When Eliza turned her key in the lock of her grandmother’s apartment twenty minutes later, she wasn’t surprised to hear voices. Barely a day went by without one friend or other of Grammy’s dropping in for a drink. But she stopped dead in her tracks when she registered the male voice.

  No. It can’t be. The voice belonged to someone much younger than Grammy’s usual gentleman friends and maybe she was hallucinating but it sounded very familiar.

  Light-headed, she almost tripped again in her haste to get into the living room and let out a shriek at the sight of Lachlan sitting on the couch. He offered her a tentative smile, but it was Grammy who spoke first.

  “Hello, El
iza,” she said calmly. “I was just about to message and say you had a delivery. How was your lunch with Lilly?”

  “It was fine,” Eliza found herself saying and then realized that was a lie. “Actually we didn’t eat lunch. I...” Her words failed her as she met Lachlan’s gaze and her heart filled with love. It was so unbelievably good to see him.

  “Good Lord.” Grammy pushed out of her armchair, crossed the room and touched her hand to Eliza’s forehead. “What have you done to your head?”

  Lachlan swore and rushed to his feet. Both of them stood before her, fussing.

  She brushed her grandmother off and kept her gaze on him. “It’s nothing. I’m fine.”

  “In that case, I think I’ll take myself for a walk around the block,” Grammy said and then, with a quick pat on Eliza’s arm, she retreated.

  The moment the door clicked shut, Lachlan spoke. “Are you sure your head’s okay?”

  She nodded.

  “Look,” he began, “I know I said I’d give you time but there’s something I want to say and it can’t wait a moment longer.”

  “Me, too,” Eliza said. “In fact, I was just coming back here to pack my bag and fly back to Oregon.”

  “Really? Does that mean...?” His voice broke on the word and he paused a moment before continuing. “Does that mean you’ve made a decision?”

  She nodded. “I’m sorry I’ve caused you pain and stress these last few days, but getting pregnant felt like a nightmare. Having Jack was the best thing that ever happened to me and losing him the absolute worst. I’m terrified that something might happen to this baby, that I might make another fatal mistake.”

  “You didn’t make a mistake,” Lachlan said, a flash of anger in his eyes. “What happened to Jack was a terrible accident and there are no guarantees in life. I’d be lying if I promised you we won’t have hardships, but I can promise you this. I love you, Eliza Coleman, and therefore I’ll respect whatever decision you make regarding our child. If that means me taking on the baby because you don’t think you can, then I will. And I will love it and look after it with all my heart.”

  Eliza’s heart clenched with even deeper love for this man. Already he had his hands full with two children, yet he was willing to take another one on all by himself.

  She opened her mouth to tell him but found she couldn’t speak past the lump in her throat.

  “But,” he continued, “I need you to know that I believe in you. I think you can do this, I think you’re stronger and braver than you give yourself credit for, but if you choose motherhood again, then you won’t be alone. If you choose us, I promise whatever we face from now on, whatever highs and lows life throws at us, we’ll face them together. I want to be there for both you and the baby. I want the five of us to be a family. But the question is...what do you want?”

  And despite the decision she’d made in Central Park and as much as Eliza wanted to accept Lachlan’s offer, as much as she wanted to believe in herself and them as much as he did, a tiny voice from the past was still crying out to her.

  “Tyler made those same vows to me,” she found herself saying, “yet when everything—”

  “I’m not Tyler,” he said forcefully and he stepped forward and took hold of her hands, bringing them up to rest on his chest. “But this is your decision.”

  And as she looked into his lovely blue eyes, she knew his words to be the absolute truth. Life had already thrown a lot of pain and drama at Lachlan but he hadn’t turned to illegal substances like Tyler and he hadn’t tried to run away from his problems like she had. He was a good, good man. The very best man. And he was offering himself and his beautiful children to her.

  She’d be an idiot not to accept him.

  “Is it my turn to speak yet?” she asked.

  Lachlan’s lips twisted slightly upward. “Go ahead.”

  She took a quick breath and then told him about the last five days in which she’d missed him like she’d miss a limb. “I wanted to come back to you, but I still wasn’t sure I could face the idea of parenthood again. Then today...” She slipped her hand out of his and gestured to her head. “I slipped badly in Central Park and as I fell onto the pavement, everything fell into place in my head. I realized that this baby is a blessing and so are you.”

  “Really?” He blinked and sounded choked.

  “Uh-huh. I was rushing back to Oregon to beg your forgiveness and tell you how much I love you and Hallie and Hamish and that I want to be a family with you all.”

  “Really?”

  She nodded and laughed. “Is that all you can say now?”

  And in reply, he took her face in his hands and kissed her till she was breathless. It didn’t take long. His mouth had that kind of effect.

  “I love you, too,” he said again, “and I’m so proud of you.”

  She glowed inside but suddenly had a thought. “Who’s looking after the restaurant?”

  He grinned. “My family and our wonderful staff. Apparently I’m an ass to work and live with when you’re not around, so they told me not to bother coming home without you.”

  She wasn’t sure if she believed him or not, but before she could say this, he said, “You know how I told you my favorite color was brown?”

  Eliza half laughed, half grimaced. “How could I forget? It’s the only thing not quite perfect about you.”

  Still smiling, he gently took a chunk of her chocolate-brown locks and twisted it around his finger. “Until I met you, my favorite color was blue.”

  Epilogue

  “Mama!”

  Eliza jolted from sleep at the sound of her little boy happily calling to her from the crib in the next room, but Lachlan’s arms shot out and he wrapped himself around her, preventing escape.

  Her body immediately melted at his touch, but she pretended to put up a struggle. “Let me go,” she laughed. “I’ll bring Henry back in a second.”

  But even before he could reply, they heard laughter coming from their baby’s bedroom, telling them that Hallie and Hamish had got to their little brother first. She relaxed back into the bed and rested her head against Lachlan’s chest as they listened to their three children playing happily together.

  Sometimes she still had to pinch herself when she woke up to Lachlan lying beside her and the sounds of Hallie, Hamish and Henry began to fill the house. It wasn’t always easy holding down a relationship, running a restaurant and parenting three children with very different needs, but there was nowhere else she’d rather be and no one else she’d rather be sharing these responsibilities with.

  “What are you thinking?” Lachlan whispered to her, his hands sliding suggestively down her body.

  “I’m thinking I want you to feed us all pancakes for breakfast.”

  He laughed. Even though she was getting much better at cooking—and loved experimenting in the kitchen—he still made better pancakes than her and it wasn’t only the kids that loved them.

  “All right. You twisted my arm.” With a quick kiss, Lachlan rolled out of bed and headed out of their room, saying, “But you can pay me back in kind later.”

  “It’s a deal,” she called out to him as she hugged a pillow to her chest and gazed over at the photo that still had pride of place on her bedside table. Only now, the bedside table was in a bedroom she shared with her husband, in a house they shared with the three kids who had become her world and, together with their father, given Eliza a reason to truly live again.

  The day Henry was born, Lachlan had popped the question. He joked he’d been waiting for a moment when she wasn’t thinking straight, but Eliza knew the truth—he hadn’t wanted to rush her into anything. However, by then, they’d already been renting a house together in town while they waited for Mac and his team to build them a forever home, so it felt as if their fate was already sealed and she didn’t want it any other way.


  They’d waited only a few months before having a simple wedding at the distillery with only their closest family and friends and then the five of them had gone away on a honeymoon to Disneyworld together. She knew people thought they were crazy, going to such a place and taking their children with them, but Eliza hadn’t been able to even contemplate the thought of leaving Hallie, Hamish and Henry with anyone else.

  Even now, she sometimes panicked when she had to leave their baby with his grandmother or one of his uncles or aunties to go to work, but she loved working in the restaurant and each time, it was getting easier. With Lachlan’s patience and the help of a counselor, she was dealing with her grief, her guilt and her fears. And the last thing she wanted to do was stifle Henry because of her past and her hang-ups.

  “Mom! Time to wake up!” Hallie burst into the bedroom with Henry on her hip and Hamish not far behind them.

  “I am awake!” Eliza proclaimed as she turned away from the photo. She laughed as Hallie plopped Henry into her arms and climbed up beside them. “How could I sleep with the noise you three make?”

  “So-rry,” Hamish said, looking a little sheepish as he stood with his crutches alongside them.

  “Don’t be silly,” Eliza said, grinning at him. “Come up here and give me a hug.”

  Hamish didn’t have to be asked twice and Eliza’s heart swelled with love as Henry settled into her lap and the older children snuggled in on either side of her. As Lachlan clattered about in the kitchen making breakfast, she and the twins took turns making faces and trying to make Henry giggle while they waited for the pancakes to be ready. Just when she thought Henry might explode if he laughed anymore, Lachlan popped his head around the door. “Sounds like I’m missing out on a lot of fun in here, but breakfast’s ready.”

  “Yay! I’m starving!” As Hallie leaped from the bed and rushed past him, Hamish scrambled after her and Henry looked longingly after them both.

  Eliza met her husband’s gaze and smiled. “The moment this one can walk, we’re in trouble. He’ll be chasing after them for sure.”