Subject 12

by S. W. Douglas

  She cried quietly for a little while. I stroked her hair gently and sat without saying a word. What was there to say, really? "It's okay that son of a bitch raped you then because it was a long time ago." sounded an awful lot like "Vivian, I've grown tired of my testicles. Would you do me the favor of removing them?" to my ears, not that I'd say anything like that in the first place. I was good with electronics, guns, and killing people with my bare hands. I could fly at supersonic speeds and stop the air from entering someone's lungs with a mere thought. As spectacular as those things were, they didn't give me a master's degree in psychology, nor experience in the proper way to handle a beautiful women crying on my shoulder because they were raped. Eighteen years or eighteen minutes, it didn't make a damn bit of difference.

  "The worst part is," she sobbed suddenly, "that Jessie doesn't know."

  I almost said something, but before I could I stopped myself.

  My brain did what an Olympic diver would describe as a failed reverse half-gainer with a double twist --- or, as a drunken frat boy would say, a wicked belly flop from the really fucking high board.

  "Wha?" Cognizant thought does not imply full control of jaw muscles and tongue, as any teenager in a bedroom with another naked person will tell you.

  "Clockwork was Jessie's father," she choked out. "I've never told anyone that. Not even Wildcard. When we broke up it was because I wouldn't tell him who got me pregnant. He thought I'd cheated on him and, and..." She gritted her teeth together and let out a half-scream. "Goddamn it!"

  I looked down at her tear-streaked face, at the pain in her eyes, and came to a decision. Alright, it wasn't a decision, more of a feeling. And it wasn't really made so much as drawn.

  I guess what I'm trying to say is that when I kissed her it was because, at that precise moment, there wasn't anything else in the world I could do.

  To my surprise, she kissed back. It was hesitant at first, but it quickly became more passionate. As her hand found its way into my hair I found my own passion inflamed by hers and I kissed her harder.

  Okay, harder is the wrong word. I just didn't want to say "passion" again. More intensely was, perhaps, the best way to put it. Deeper, of course, would have worked just as well. But I said harder and I'm sticking with it, damn it.

  The kiss went on for what seemed like half an hour but could have only been a few seconds before I had to shift my position on the bed. I took the weight off my arms and brought my free hand up to her face to caress it softly, but at the change in position and movement she pulled back, the spell breaking as her lips left mine. Maybe she thought I was going to grab her breasts or something, I had no way of knowing, but the sudden rejection hurt in a way I hadn't been expecting. I stopped my hand from going further, but she put her palm over it and patted it gently in what I thought she'd hoped was a comforting manner. It wasn't.

  "I'm sorry," she said, sniffing a couple times. "I'm just really tired." She forced a smile. It looked hollow.

  "Are you sure that's all it is?" I cleared my throat.

  "Yeah..." She held the word for a second and trailed off, staring into space.

  "Why don't I believe you?" I kept my voice quiet and my tone gentle but no matter what, I'd just thrown down a gauntlet, and the repercussions were going to be unpleasant. Down boy, you're staying in my pants tonight.

  "Are you calling me a liar?" Her voice was stiff and cold and I could feel her pulling back from me emotionally even if her body stayed still. "How dare you?"

  "How dare you?" I fired back. "Don't lead me on, tell me things, kiss me like you mean it, and then say you're really tired just because you thought I was copping a feel."

  "What?"

  "Yeah," I said, the anger starting to roll off me faster and hotter than I'd realized. "Don't think I didn't know what was going on. I was trying to touch your face, to reassure you, to share a moment of intimacy, and you break the kiss because you think I'm headed for your tits. Well, damn it, I wasn't. I'm not the kind of guy who can take advantage of a woman in distress like this. I kissed you because I wanted to, and I wanted to reassure you, not because I wanted to see if you'd throw me on the bed and ride me like a cowgirl breaking a bronco. Christ!"

  "No. No, no. Holy hell, no. It's not like that. I'm sorry. Damn it, I didn't mean... I didn't think..." She burst into tears and buried her face in her hands.

  I suddenly stopped being angry.

  "Oh, shit, I'm sorry." I threw my arms around her and hugged her tightly. She didn't hug me back but she didn't try to push me off. "I'm sorry, Vivian. I'm really sorry."

  She sobbed for a minute before she finally wrapped her arms around me again. "I'm sorry," she croaked. "You were right and I'm sorry."

  She pushed me back a little and looked into my eyes. "I wanted to... but then..."

  "It's okay," I whispered. "Really."

  She smiled faintly. "No, but I can make it okay."

  I cocked my head to the side. "Say what?"

  And she kissed me. She pushed me back onto the bed and kissed me as hard as she probably was capable of.

  I choose to draw the curtain shut at this point. The next two hours were between her and I alone.

  "Oh, God, that was... That was good."

  I welcomed the gentle air movement that cooled some of the sweat on my chest. "Yes. Very good. Very very good."

  "Amazing, perhaps?" Her breath was still coming in gasps but they were slowing down. Her face was very flushed.

  "Just don't say fantastic," I laughed. "Though the fact that it stretches that much could be considered pretty impressive."

  "Show-off." She laughed and snuggled into the crook of my arm, her breasts rubbing against my chest in a very pleasant way. "Thank you for being so gentle."

  "It was my pleasure. I mean that."

  "Yeah, I know. I could feel it, in case you couldn't guess." She giggled and sighed. "I'd forgotten how good that felt."

  "Me too."

  She kissed me, hungrily, on the lips. "But don't be getting any ideas. I'm a little raw at the moment."

  I glanced at the clock. It was over an hour later than when I'd last seen it. "I think I can figure out why." I stifled a yawn. "Do you want me to stay or...?"

  "Do you want to stay?" She sounded surprised and maybe a little hurt.

  "Of course. My legs feel a little wobbly." I smirked and kissed her forehead. "That's why I asked. If you wanted me to leave right now I'd have had to disappoint you."

  "Bastard," she chuckled, slapping me on the shoulder. "Do you want to stay or not?"

  "I would like nothing more right now."

  "Good," she purred, throwing her arm over my chest. "I hope you don't snore. It would kill my afterglow and I'm too tired to whip up a tonic for it. I'd have to use cyanide."

  I knew she was joking but even as we both drifted off to sleep some part of me couldn't get past the Venom I heard in her voice.

  I awoke with some reluctance. My body wanted to hold on to the blissful absence of thought and consequence for as long as possible. Perhaps there's something to that feeling. It's one of innocence, mostly, and of happiness, though of loss as well. When we sleep we are all equal. Awakening only disturbs that, and forces what we call the "real world" to intrude into our consciousness, for better or for ill. To our bodies, unless we were recently locked in the throes of a nightmare, it always seems like a bad thing.

  I was comfortable, warm, and my body was doing the normal morning thing. That is to say that, despite the night before, my erection could have cut glass.

  Venom may have noticed this when I rolled over and put my arm around her. I was relieved she hadn't already gotten up or left, strangely enough. I was also glad she hadn't put anything on for clothing after I'd fallen asleep.

  My body had the right idea.

  "Mmm, good morning." She was laying on her side, facing away form me, so I couldn't see her face.

  I moved the arm draped over her, my palm finding her breast and cupping it, her nipple
tightening against the touch. "Good morning to you too."

  "Mmm, that feels good." She scooted her hips back and that pressed her butt against my groin, my erection sliding between her cheeks. "Oh, fuck, so does that."

  "You're telling me." I tried to pull myself closer but she stopped me.

  "Just a sec." She wiggled her hips and moved up and down for a moment till I she had worked it so I was no longer laying between her buttocks. "Much better."

  This time when she pressed back what I slipped between wasn't her butt. I felt wetness slide over the tip of my glass-cutter and all I could do was sigh.

  "Yes. Much better," I whispered into her ear before I kissed the side of her neck as I pressed myself against her back. "Much, much better."

  "We should probably join the others before long. They might start worrying."

  "You're right," I said, wishing I didn't have to pee. "Any idea what breakfast is going to be?"

  "I have no idea. When I'm here I usually chase everyone out of the kitchen since Corrine would live out whatever boxes looked shiny in the supermarket if she could, and the last time Jackhammer cooked anything the fried eggs would have bounced if anyone had thrown them against a wall."

  "Ah." I scratched the side of my face where a barely-dodged muzzle flash had burned me enough to hurt for a while. "I don't suppose you have some prepackaged cereal in the place, do you?"

  "No. But I did see a can of concentrated orange juice in the freezer yesterday."

  "Um, what does that have to do with anything?"

  "Nothing. But I thought I'd say something." She slipped a shirt over her head and wiggled her arms through the sleeves. "You should be getting dressed too, you know."

  "Alright, alright. No need to twist my arm." I got up and stretched. Muscles sighed happily under my skin. "I'm going to need more clothing. I don't mind wearing this two days in row but if I'm going to be around for more than another day or so I'm going to need something else. I can only stand next to a washer so many times in a week before I get bored."

  "There should be a bunch in your closet, but the styles might not be to your taste." She laughed. "I think we can do something about that." She grabbed my arm and pulled me around the bed, wrapping herself around me and kissing me intently. "I certainly don't want to see you get bored too soon. Too much I want to do with you."

  "And me you, I'm sure." I replied when she finally let me up for air. "But breakfast first, okay?"

  "Okay."

  I'd put the uniform back on. I hadn't really felt like going back to my room just to go through the closet to see if I had a full wardrobe or not. It was only slightly fragrant anyway.

  Steamroller had cooked. Whether it had been agreed upon in advance, which implied a tacit approval of our tryst, or simply had happened merely because Venom hadn't and the other three denizens of this wooden palace had been hungry, I wasn't about to ask. It was obvious that the two of us had spent the night together. A simple bed check would have told anyone curious as to my whereabouts --- or at least that I hadn't slept in the one provided for me. If anyone had felt it worth bringing up in conversation then there wasn't much I could do about it.

  Steamroller was not as good a cook as Venom. Hell, just by looking at the lumpy eggs and runny oatmeal I could see that culinary talent wasn't one of her powers. Woe betide he that suffers the wrath of grapes and attempts to eat food prepared exclusively by the female half of the marriage that ruled this roost.

  Still, it ate. I'd been served worse many times in the past. Food you get out of a trash can often was more tasty, if the flavor of impending botulism was a favored one. I'd come to appreciate it.

  And it made me look so pretty.

  "Pass me some of that toast, if you please," Jackhammer said, tapping Venom on her shoulder. "And some of that jam too. Oh, the raspberry sounds good."

  "Here you go!" she said, sliding the Mason jar past her plate.

  "Thanks."

  "You're welcome."

  I chewed a large glob of egg thoughtfully. Even the food wasn't spoiling her good mood. She was practically glowing. "When you're done with that, I think I'd like some too."

  "Pass this on down when you're done with it, if you would," he said, passing it to Wildcard. I might have felt bad if he hadn't immediately put a large spoonful on his plate before passing it to me without even looking up.

  No matter how many times I'd seen it, watching a man's arm double and triple in length was awesome.

  I took it from his outstretched hand and thanked him, dropping a dollop into my oatmeal bowl and then spreading a little on a slice of buttered toast. At least the toast wasn't burnt. Had to give her credit for that.

  Mixing the jam into my oatmeal made it an interesting fuschia that didn't look at all poison-arrow-frog toxic. Not in the least. Nor did it make a lump I'd thought looked suspiciously like a tooth suddenly have the appearance of a large blood clot.

  It did, however, make it palatable.

  "So," I said, trying to distract myself from the glop in the bowl, "is there anything planned for for the day?"

  "Mostly gettin' ready for tomorrow, I think. Ain't much on the table for you, me, and the WC here till this afternoon when I thought we might go see if some of the early berries are ripe yet. The girls were goin' to go shoppin', I think. Right?"

  "Right," Steamroller said, peeling a banana. "Vivian told me the kitchen was running low on a few things and I wanted to pick up my new costume at Herefordson's to make sure they got the measurements right. I don't want to go tomorrow and find out they cut the bust too low again." She took a small bite. "And I thought while I was there I'd see if they could make up that special order while we were in town or not."

  "Good idea. See if you can get some stuff to go with it, while you're at it. Maybe four sets?"

  "I was thinking five, actually."

  "Five works." Jackhammer scraped a small pile of eggs together on his plate but decided at the last minute it wasn't worth the pain. "Just make sure they don't overcharge you again. I hate goin' down there to straighten out a bad bill. I can hardly understand a word they say with that accent of theirs."

  "Look who's talking," Venom said, winking in his direction.

  By then I was quite lost. "Anything I can help with?" I interjected.

  "No, I think we have it all wrapped up," Steamroller replied, stabbing a lump of egg on her plate that promptly dissolved. "Thanks, though."

  She was trying, at least. "Alright. Just let me know if I can do anything."

  We ate in silence for another minute or so. There was something big in the room and nobody wanted to talk about it.

  "About last night," I began, seeking to get it off the table.

  "Yes, about last night," Steamroller interrupted, smiling. "Viv, darling, you are positively glowing this morning."

  At least conversation picked back up and I knew it wasn't because of why we were late for breakfast. Too bad I couldn't really pay attention without feeling my cheeks get a little red.

  And I thought ten years of the military had burned that out of me before I even joined Alpha Zulu.

  Finally we got around to the coffee and fruit part of the meal. They ate well here, come hell or high water.

  "...want to leave here early in the mornin', if that's alright with y'all. I'd rather get another hour or two of sleep than have to make small talk all afternoon."

  "Sorry to stick my nose in here, but since I seem to be included in these plans and have no idea what you're talking about, do you think that maybe you could fill me in?" I sipped my now-tepid coffee and wished I had more of the whiskey from the night before. The combination might have been nearly sacrilege, but it was good.

  A quick look around the room told me all I needed to know about the elephant in the room. Apparently it was me.

  "Did I say something?"

  Venom looked at Steamroller, who gave Jackhammer a glare, who passed it along to Wildcard, who seemed oblivious. He had joined us but wasn't eat
ing anything.

  "Tomorrow we're going to Reno," Venom supplied.

  "And you're coming with us," Steamroller continued.

  "To a memorial service at the Guildhall," Jackhammer finished.

  I nodded. "Anyone I know or just a pro forma appearance because I have that Guild Inspector ID and I haven't given it back yet?"

  "It's someone you knew, sort of," Steamroller replied after another ride on the meaningful look train, Wildcard being the apparently-oblivious caboose yet again.

  "Yeah," Jackhammer said with an evil-looking grin. "You touched him in ways nobody else ever did."

  I heard the impact of Steamroller's foot on his shin from across the table. He didn't even flinch.

  "I'm lost here."

  "Vivian, you tell him. I think it might be best if you did."

  I gave Steamroller a look before I turned to face Venom. She was staring at her coffee mug even though it was empty.

  "Who is it?" I was starting to get a bad feeling.

  "Grid Iron," she said quietly.

  "No," I said, shaking my head. "No way. Not in hell or heaven or a hooker's bed. Not happening."

  "I'm afraid it is, son," Jackhammer tapped his cane on the floor. "Why don't you girls start cleanin' up the table. I think I got somethin' to talk about with our friend here."

  Wildcard tapped Jackhammer on the shoulder but all he got was a shake of the head. He saw I was looking at him and shrugged his shoulders. I shook my head as well.

  I wasn't angry. Not yet. It probably hadn't sunk in yet.

  "Son, you're comin' with us tomorrow to Reno, and while we're there you're goin' to attend the service." Wildcard had grabbed a few plates and left the room with our female companions. "And that ain't a request." He picked up his glass of juice and sipped it.

  "What do you mean, I'm going to attend a memorial service for that waste of sperm? Why the fucking hell is there even going to be one? I can think of a hundred things that would be better than celebrating the life of a man who had to sneak up on his hand to masturbate!" Anger had started to seethe in from the edges and it came through in my voice. It was bad enough they were going to have a memorial service for him, but to expect me to go with them? That was insane.