Nine Months to Redeem Him

by Jennie Lucas

  Drawing back, he pulled off his clothes and gently lay me back against the bed. My hair tumbled over the pillows. I shivered, closing my eyes as he kissed down my neck. His lips were warm beneath the cool ocean breeze blowing through the window. I breathed in the scent of him, clean and masculine, with the sea air and the rose petals scattered around us.

  He unhooked my bra. I gasped as I felt his lips nuzzle my breast before he drew my full nipple gently into his mouth. Pregnancy had made my breasts so big, he had to hold each with both hands in its turn. I gripped his shoulders tightly.

  Pulling back, he looked down at me. “You’re in your third trimester,” he murmured wickedly. “The doctor said you shouldn’t spend too long on your back....”

  Before I knew what was happening, he rolled me over, so I was on top of him. He pulled my knees apart, so I straddled his hips. My belly was huge between us, my breasts hanging almost to his face as I leaned forward to kiss him. I felt the size of him, hard and huge between my legs and the pregnancy hormones I’d tried to ignore for months suddenly rocketed uncontrollably through me, leaving me weak with lust. Pulling up, I came down hard, impaling myself, drawing him deep and thick inside me. He gasped, putting his hands on my hips. Not stopping, not waiting, I rocked back and forth, riding him with increasing speed until he was stretching me to the limit, filling me to the core, and with a loud cry, I exploded, and so did he. We both soared amid the fading purple shadows of the night.

  Afterward, he drew me close, holding me in his arms. He kissed my sweaty temple. “I never want to let you go.”

  “So don’t,” I whispered. My body felt illuminated, glowing with happiness. I pressed my cheek against the warmth of his bare skin, glorying in the feel of his arm wrapped snugly around me in bed.

  “Let’s go to Las Vegas,” he said suddenly.

  Blinking, I lifted my head to look at him. “You want to elope?”

  I thought I saw a shadow cross his eyes. Then he gave me a lazy smile. “I don’t want to give you the chance to change your mind.”

  “I won’t.” I looked down at my engagement ring. “Though this thing is so heavy, I feel lopsided. What is it, ten carats?”

  He grinned. “Twenty.”

  “What! I think you might have overdone it!”

  “I’ll get you a ring for your other hand. Then it won’t be a problem.” He stroked my cheek. “Just say you’ll run away with me tomorrow.”

  It sounded like a dream. But... I bit my lip. “Without my family?”

  He gave a low laugh. “I should have known you wouldn’t like that thought. Bring Howard with us, then. And whomever else you want. Plenty of room on the jet.” He stroked his jaw ruefully. “Though I’m still waiting for him to hit me on the jaw.”

  I snorted. “Howard would never go through with it. He loves you too much now.” Then my smile faded. “Madison is coming home tonight....”

  “From Mongolia? Is it the first time you’ve seen her since Penryth Hall?”

  “Yeah. I need to try to work things out.” I sighed. Rising to my feet, I started to pull on my clothes.

  “Don’t go.” He held out his arm. “Stay with me tonight.”

  I looked at him longingly, then shook my head. “I need to talk to Madison. But then...” I looked at him. “If she forgives me for breaking up her engagement, and Howard can come, then...”

  “Then?” he said, his voice filled with rising hope.

  I smiled at him. I felt so happy, there were tears in my eyes. “Then I’ll elope with you in the morning.”

  With an intake of breath, he rose to his feet. Taking me in his arms, he kissed me softly. “Go home. See your family tonight.” He gave me a smile that was brighter than the sun. “And I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  It felt so good in his arms, so warm, so right. It felt—like home. I bit my lip, suddenly reluctant to leave. “On second thought, maybe I could stay here tonight. I’ll see Madison tomorrow....”

  With a low laugh, he shook his head. “No. Go. Talk to them. Then we can start our new lives tomorrow.” Drawing back, Edward looked thoughtful. “Anyway, I think there’s something else I need to do tonight.”

  I frowned. “What?”

  “Just something,” he said evasively.

  “Bachelor party?” I half joked. He didn’t even crack a smile.

  “It’s nothing.” Turning away, he pulled on his jeans. His face was hidden in shadow. “Just one last thing I want to do before I say my marriage vows.”

  “Oh?” I stared at him, waiting for him to explain.

  He suddenly wouldn’t meet my gaze. “I’ll walk you out.”

  A moment later, I backed my car down the small driveway of the Malibu cottage, and soon eased onto the Pacific Coast Highway. As I looked out at the moonlight flickering over the Pacific, in the flashes of flat beach between the tightly packed million-dollar houses clinging to the strip of shore, I’d suddenly felt I’d never been so happy. Or so terrified.

  Because I loved him.

  He’d never once said he loved me.

  I gripped the steering wheel. It’ll be fine, I told myself. Edward didn’t need to love me. We could still be happy together. Friends. Parents. Lovers. Partners.

  But what was he so anxious to do tonight, “before we spoke our vows”?

  It didn’t matter. He’d promised he’d never break my heart again. It couldn’t be another woman or anything like that. He was probably just planning a surprise for me. Like a wedding gift. When I saw it in the morning, I’d have a good laugh at my own fears. Getting married should mean that I could trust him. I never needed to feel insecure again. Right?

  It’s nothing. Just one last thing I want to do before I say my marriage vows.

  Oh, this was ridiculous. I was only four blocks away from my stepfather’s house in Beverly Hills when I banged on the steering wheel in irritation, then yelped as the big diamond cut sharply into my hand. Sucking my finger, I pulled over.

  Forget this. I was going back to Malibu to find out what he was hiding from me. If it was some awesome wedding gift, I’d hate myself later for wrecking the surprise.

  I flipped my car around, heading back west, toward Malibu.

  Thirty minutes later, I was turning down Edward’s small street, when I saw an expensive SUV pull ahead of me. It was going way too fast down the lane. Idiot, I thought. Then to my shock, it pulled haphazardly into Edward’s driveway. A woman leapt out of the driver’s seat. But not just any woman.

  It was Victoria. The beautiful, vicious wife of Edward’s cousin, Rupert. Dressed in a tight, sexy red cocktail dress and six-inch high heels.

  I forced myself to keep driving slowly, past the cottage without stopping. But in my rearview mirror, I saw the cottage door open. Edward welcomed her swiftly inside.

  Then the door closed behind them.

  A horn honked ahead of me, and I swerved just in time to avoid crashing into opposing traffic. Cold sweat covered my body. This was what he wanted to do before he spoke marriage vows?

  A bachelor party for two?

  I remembered Victoria’s earlier words: I wanted him so badly, I would have done anything to get into his bed. Anything.

  Numbly, I turned back on the highway, back toward Los Angeles.

  There had to be some rational reason for Victoria to be with Edward tonight. Something beyond the obvious. But as I tried to come up with a reason, all I could think about was that Edward had never claimed to love me. Not in all this time. He’d said he wanted us to marry for the baby’s sake. And that he wanted me in his bed.

  He hadn’t yet promised fidelity. So it wasn’t like he’d broken any vows. No. The only promise he’d broken was when he’d said he would never break my heart.

  Why was Victoria there, alone with him in the house? Why would she
visit him so late at night, wearing a skintight red dress? Why was she even in California at all?

  I wiped my eyes savagely.

  Traffic was light, late as it was, and I soon pulled past the gate of Howard’s white colonial house. I saw Madison’s expensive red convertible parked in the driveway. A car as red and wicked and expensive as Victoria St. Cyr’s dress as she’d snuck in for a private tête-à-tête with the man I was supposed to marry tomorrow.

  My legs trembled as I walked inside the house. Inside the large, lavish kitchen, I saw Howard and Madison sitting at the table, smiling and talking. But in this moment, I couldn’t deal with it. I started to walk past the kitchen, but she saw me. She rose to her feet, her face serious.

  “Diana,” she said quietly. “It’s good to see you again.”

  I stopped, clenching my hands at my sides. Madison looked tanner, a little weathered, her cheeks a little fuller. No makeup. No false eyelashes. Her blond hair was lightened by sun. She was wearing a white cotton T-shirt, jeans and flip-flops.

  “You look—different,” I said slowly.

  “And you look pregnant.” She smiled. “Dad told me you and Edward are back together....”

  Tears rose to my eyes. “I’m tired,” I choked out. “Excuse me. I have to go—to bed....”

  I made it to my bedroom just in time, before the sobs started. Even with the air conditioning, the air felt oppressively hot. I stripped down to a tank top and tiny shorts and collapsed on the bed. Posters on the walls that I’d put up as a hopeful teenager, of places I’d hoped to see and the life I’d hoped to live, stared down at me mournfully. It felt like the walls were closing in.

  As my head hit the pillow, I wept, covering my face, wept with choked sobs until there were no tears left, and I slept.

  The phone woke me up. I flung my arm to answer it.

  “What is your answer?” My agent’s voice pleaded.

  Slowly, I sat up in bed. My hair felt smashed against the side of my face, and the tank top I’d been sleeping in barely covered my breasts properly. I felt sore, too. For a moment I smiled, remembering how Edward had made love to me last night.

  Then I remembered what had happened afterward. How I’d seen Victoria sneaking into his house for one last fling.

  It’s nothing. Just one last thing I want to do before I say my marriage vows

  Cold despair seeped through me, and I pulled up my comforter almost to my neck.

  “Well, Diana?” My agent said with desperate good cheer. “Do you want to be a star?”

  I felt awful. Outside, the morning light was clear, the sky a pale blue. It almost never rained in California. Not like Cornwall. I missed the fog and bluster and wild gray storms. They suited me better.

  “Diana? The blockbuster in Romania? Are you in?”

  “Sure,” I said dully. “Why not?”

  His congratulations were so loud I had to pull the phone away from my ear. Then he started talking about terms and conditions and other contract stuff I didn’t care about. Hanging up, I pulled on a robe and went downstairs.

  “Rough night?” Madison looked up from the kitchen table, where she was now eating a bowl of cornflakes. Then her eyes widened. “Nice ring.”

  I looked down at my left hand. “Yeah,” I said dully. “Want it?”

  She laughed. “Good one. So you’re engaged? I’m so happy for—”

  “Edward’s cheating on me.”

  Madison’s mouth fell open. Then she looked dubious. “Are you sure? He seemed so in love with you last December. I mean, I even flirted with him,” she blushed a little, “and he totally froze me out.”

  “I’m sure. I saw a woman he knows, his cousin’s wife, going into his place late last night. Wearing a sexy dress.”

  “There could be all kinds of reasons for that. Geez. Maybe, um...” She frowned, scratching her head. “Hmm.”

  “I don’t want to talk about it,” I said, grabbing the milk and a bowl.

  Madison pressed her lips together. “All right,” she said finally. “Whatever you need. I’m here for you.”

  I stared at her incredulously. “What happened to you in Mongolia?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “You seem so—different.”

  “I grew up, I guess,” she said quietly. “I decided to stop taking other people’s stuff. Their careers. Their lovers. It never made me happy. It only made me feel bad about myself.” Her eyes met mine as she whispered, “I’m so sorry for what I did to you.”

  I stared at her in shock, trying not to cry.

  Then Madison’s mouth fell open as she looked past me. In slow motion, I turned around.

  Edward stood in the kitchen doorway behind me, dressed in a tuxedo that was molded to his perfect body. He smiled, looking from Madison to me. “Looks like all is forgiven.” His blue eyes glowed with joy. “How soon can you be ready to go?”

  My lips parted in a silent gasp. Then snapped shut.

  How dare he act like this—look at me as if he loved me—when he’d been with another woman last night? And Victoria, of all the women on earth! Did he truly have no soul? I couldn’t bear to even look him in the face.

  Reaching down, I pulled off the enormous diamond ring. My fingers were swollen, so I had to yank hard. I held it out to him coldly.

  “I’ve changed my mind,” I said. “I can’t marry you.”

  His broad shoulders seemed to flinch. There was a small sound from the back of his throat. He took a single step forward. I heard his low demand of a single word.

  “Why.”

  He was looking at me as if I’d betrayed him. As if I’d broken his heart. My throat hurt. How could Edward look at me like that, when he was the one who had never loved me?

  Lifting my chin, I looked at him, my fists clenched almost violently. “I thought I could marry you without love,” I whispered. Shuddering, I shook my head. “I can’t.” It was tantamount to admitting my own love for him. I felt like a pathetic fool. “I want the real thing.”

  My arm shook as I continued to hold out the ring.

  He stared down at the twenty-carat diamond ring as if it were poison. He seemed to shudder. “Keep it.”

  “I can’t.” I pushed the ring into his hands. My heart hurt so much I could hardly keep from crying. “It’s better this way. You can go back to London, and I’ll be going to Romania to star in a movie....” The movie? Who cared about that? What was I even saying? I shook my head desperately. “We’ll work out custody. You can visit our baby whenever you want.”

  He looked down at the enormous diamond ring, gleaming in his hand.

  “Visit?” he said dully.

  “Yes, of course, you...” My throat constricted. “I just want you to be free.”

  “Free.” He lifted expressionless eyes to mine.

  Unable to speak, I nodded.

  “I thought I could make you happy.” His voice was like a sigh, the last breath of a dying man. He tried to smile even as I saw a suspicious sheen in his eyes. “But I can’t force you to marry me. Of course you deserve love. You deserve everything.”

  My heart twisted. I felt as if I were drowning in the haunted sea of his eyes, seeing right through his armor to the anguished soul within. Was it possible I was wrong? Was there any other explanation for what I’d seen?

  “What did you do last night?” I cried out.

  Staring down at me, he sucked in his breath. Then he grimly shook his head. “It doesn’t matter.”

  “Tell me,” I begged. I knew I was making a fool of myself, but I couldn’t stop. If there was any chance, any chance at all that I was wrong... “What did you do when I left you last night?”

  He stared down at me for a moment in the kitchen. Then he slowly shook his head.

  “It’s bet
ter you don’t know,” he said quietly. Leaning forward, he cupped my cheek. “I will always provide for you and the baby, Diana.” Leaning down, he kissed me softly, one last time. “Take care of her. Be happy.”

  And he was gone.

  I stared after him, gazing at the empty doorway, standing on the cold tile floor wearing a robe, a tank top that didn’t quite cover my belly, skimpy sleep shorts and a dumb expression.

  My stepfather’s lavish, enormous kitchen turned blurry around me and I realized I was crying. I couldn’t even feel the tears. All I could think was that I’d been so stupid. I’d let Edward St. Cyr break my heart not once, but twice....

  “You are so stupid,” Madison said aloud, as if she’d read my mind and agreed wholeheartedly. Wiping my cheeks, I looked down at her sitting at the table. I’d forgotten she was there.

  She was shaking her head in disgust. “You gave him up for a movie? No career can ever fill the place in your heart where love should be.” She gave a harsh laugh. “I should know.”

  “He doesn’t love me,” I whispered.

  “Are you insane?” She looked as if she thought I was. “Did you see the way he looked at you? And from everything Dad told me about how he’s been waiting on you hand and foot...” She snorted. “No man does that for a woman, unless he’s desperately in love. Especially a man like Edward St. Cyr.”

  “He doesn’t love me,” I repeated, but my voice had turned uncertain. “He just said he didn’t.”

  My stepsister looked at me incredulously. “You said you deserved a marriage based on love, and he agreed with you. It sounded like you didn’t love him.”

  “What?” I put my hand to my forehead. A tremble was coming up through my body like an earthquake, rising from my feet to my legs to my heart. “Edward knows I love him. He has to know.”

  “Did you tell him? Recently, I mean?”

  “No, I...” I bit my lip. I’d told him in London, before he’d sent me away. But never since then. Desperately, I shook my head. “He doesn’t love me. He wanted to marry me for the baby’s sake, that’s all.” I looked down at my huge baby bump. “If he’d loved me...”