Settling Ashes: A New Adult/College Romance (The Ashes Series Book 2)

by Gardin, Diana

  “Every word,” she affirmed.

  “I meant what I said too,” I told her.

  “I know,” she aid, her expression troubled. “That worries me. No self-sacrificing. Let’s just focus on proving your innocence. We have to find the woman who really took Hannah out of her house that night.”

  “Yeah,” I said, running a hand over my hair. “We do. You up for this?”

  “I’m up for anything that keeps you here with me,” she said simply.

  I pulled over to the shoulder, stopping the car and placing it in park. I turned to look at Paige.

  “What are you doing?” she asked curiously. “Did you forget something?”

  “Yeah,” I said. “This.”

  I leaned over the console, cradled her face in my hands, and kissed her, claiming her lips with all of the pent-up fervor I felt for her. I couldn’t wait any longer to taste her. Everything she had done, everything she had said tonight made me want her. I wanted her for loving me as fiercely as she did, and for wanting to protect me and keep me safe even though I had been unable to do that for her with Hannah.

  She kissed me back with an equal amount of need, and she sighed against my mouth as I reached under her sweater to wrap my hands around her waist and pull her onto my lap.

  She straddled me, running her hands down my shoulders and arms lightly, and I responded to her every touch with a jolt of pleasure.

  “We should go home,” she whispered, pulling back slightly to gaze down at me from her perch.

  “We should,” I agreed, my breathing ragged. “We should definitely go home.”

  Then she bent down and kissed me again, and I was lost to all reason. Her tongue trailed over my bottom lip just before she pulled it into her mouth and bit down gently with her teeth. I pressed myself against her as she sat in my lap, and groaned in frustration and pleasure at the contact.

  “I can’t wait to get you under me,” I whispered as I pulled away. I cleared my throat, and placed her abruptly back in her seat. “So let’s make that happen, now.”

  “Okay,” she said breathlessly.

  I drove the rest of the way to her apartment like a madman, slowing only when a stoplight required it.

  When we pulled up, she opened her door and bolted before I could cut the engine or help her out of her seat.

  I left the car in just as much as a hurry, chasing her down the sidewalk.

  We entered the apartment to find that Gillian was in her room with the door shut. The giggling from behind the door indicated that she wasn’t alone.

  Paige stopped short, looking toward Gillian’s door and then back at me, raising a brow.

  I shrugged. I had been in a fog the entire time Paige was gone, but I hadn’t noticed Gillian starting to date anyone.

  Paige looked at me with smoldering eyes. “Let’s go to bed.”

  Eight

  Paige

  Clay’s hand tugged me halfway down the hallway before I was whipped around to face him. His lips were on mine before I could take a breath, and I melted into him, letting him kiss me senseless. His hands were everywhere at once, under my shirt, raking up my back and then back down to cup my bottom all within seconds. I gasped against his lips as he lifted me in his arms. I looked down at him and wrapped my legs tightly around his waist. Our eyes remained locked as he continued up the hallway into my room, kicking the door shut behind him with his foot.

  He lay me gently down on the bed as he kicked off his shoes, and I leaned back on my elbows, watching him. I lost contact with his blue eyes as his shirt lifted over his head, and my eyes drifted down to his bare chest and stomach. I gaped as I laid eyes on what I’d been missing: the skin ripping over the hard muscles of his chest and stomach, the trail of dark hair creeping just below his belly button to hide beneath the waistband of his jeans.

  Which he removed next, revealing the soft cotton of striped boxer-briefs. I couldn’t just lie there anymore; I rose onto my knees and reached out for him. He came willingly, grabbing the hem of my sweater before pulling it over my head and tossing it onto the floor.

  We hadn’t spoken, instead choosing to just absorb the moment of being here with the other again after a month’s separation. A month wasn’t long, but being away from Clay for that amount of time felt like a lifetime.

  I ran my hands over the abdominal muscles, feeling each one jump under the light caress of my fingers, and I smiled with anticipation. As I let my fingers trail lightly over his chest, he grabbed my hands and closed his eyes briefly. Then, with a jerk, he slid my legs out from under me and laid me down, landing over top of me as we both crashed to the mattress.

  I was having trouble forming a coherent thought at the moment. I mean, Clay had been my first sexual experience, because Beau and I hadn’t gone there when we dated. We had been so young at the time. But things with Clay had been different from the beginning; things were just as physical as they were emotional. He’d been the first guy I’d exposed myself to after the fire, and he touched me and loved me as if I were a whole person. It was intangible, the connection I had with him for that very reason.

  Being with him again this way was making my heart rate speed to dangerous levels.

  “No more waiting,” he whispered, allowing one of his hands to trail from cupping the side of my face down my collarbone. My breathing hitched as he continued his journey downward, stopping with a light caress that had me biting my lip to keep the moan building inside me contained.

  “I need you, Paige.”

  I nodded, lifting so he could pull off my jeans, which were creating a heavy barrier between us. He pulled them down slowly along with my underwear, stopping to kiss the sensitive spot just inside each thigh as he removed them.

  He came back toward me when my clothes were lying in a heap at the foot of the bed, and our eyes locked again as he slid into position, hovering just on top of me and holding himself up with his hands.

  “I love you,” I said. My voice was fiercer than I intended, but the words were truer than any I had ever spoken.

  “I’m never letting you go again,” he promised as he bent his head to brush my lips with his. “I need you by my side, Paige, for everything. I can’t do this without you.”

  “Show me how much you need me,” I begged, because I couldn’t wait another second for all the barriers between us to disappear.

  He rose again to stand next to the bed. I heaved a deep sigh as he removed his boxers and retrieved a condom out of his jeans pocket, not wanting to wait another second to feel every bit of him connect with every bit of me.

  As I watched him, the thought struck me that this beautiful, sexy, successful man wanted me. He wanted me and no one else. He didn’t care what physical and emotional scars plagued me, he only cared that I wanted to be with him and that I was safe by his side. The thought melted my insides, and made me grateful that I was lucky enough to have found him when I needed him the most.

  He was back on top of me in no time, and my hands fumbled to join his as he slowly guided himself into me. I closed my eyes with the rush of painfully sweet oblivion that came with his entrance.

  A finger pressed under my chin, and I opened my eyes to see Clay’s full of emotion. He gazed down at me, pleading silently with me to hold his stare.

  “Hold onto me, baby,” he commanded, and my arms went around his waist. My fingernails scratched lightly at his skin and he groaned with the delightful sting of it.

  “I missed you,” he whispered in a strained voice into my ear, bending his head toward mine so I could hear him. His hand caressed the left side of my face where my scar lay visible to him and I turned my head toward his hand to kiss his wrist lightly. “I’ve never wanted anyone else since I met you, Paige, and I never will. You’re it for me. This is it for me. Forever.”

  I felt a tear slide down my cheek and raised a hand to brush it away, but Clay stopped my progress. He interlocked our fingers and slowly brought my hand to his mouth to kiss it.

  “I
t’s a happy tear,” he said, smiling down at me. “Leave it.”

  I moved against him more fervently, feeling the pleasure beginning to escalate, and his eyes widened as he kept up with my motion. The connection between our bodies and our hearts became one single entity again, like no time had lapsed since we’d last been together. And we both skyrocketed into ecstasy while our eyes and our bodies were locked in perfect submission to one another.

  ~**~

  I didn’t need to open my eyes the next morning to know that I was home. Clay’s strong arms encircled my waist from his spot behind me, and I smiled at the warmth of him. I’d missed his heat enveloping me in the mornings. I wanted to feel it next to me every morning for the rest of my life. The thought nestled in my mind as a pleasant surprise.

  Although our relationship was serious, and we both knew it, never once had we had the luxury of discussing our future. Did we have one? I knew I wanted him, and he’d hinted at the fact that he wanted to have this, have us for the long haul. After losing him for a month, finding peace with him again had me wondering whether or not I could really keep him. The thought of losing him again made me want to roll over and vomit on the floor. I couldn’t lose him again, ever.

  I rolled over under the loose weight of his arm to face him, and found that his eyes were still closed. I watched him dozing under the bright ray of sunshine cast across his face. The dark smudges under his eyes resembled purplish bruises and his cheekbones were slightly sunken. His dark hair had curled almost to his collar, much longer than a month ago. His face and body were generally less filled out than the last time I’d seen him.

  His eyes fluttered and opened, and a flood of love gushed over my heart as he found my gaze.

  “Good morning, angel,” he said with a sweet smile. “God, I missed your face being the first thing I see when I wake up.”

  “I was just thinking the same thing,” I said. “Clay, you haven’t been sleeping or eating.” My tone was accusatory, because his responsibility was to take care of himself, and keep himself healthy. This wasn’t going to cut it.

  He rolled his eyes. “You’ve been inspecting me, have you?”

  “Yes,” I admitted. “You don’t look like yourself.”

  He shrugged, stretching luxuriously. “I’ve had things on my mind. Hard to remember to eat, definitely wasn’t falling asleep easily.”

  A pang of guilt shot through me. “Because of me.”

  “Hey,” he said quietly, focusing his warm blue eyes once more on me.. “You could stand to put on a few pounds yourself. And you’re back now, where you belong. With me. So we can feed each other, okay? You can feed me right now if you want to.”

  A mischievous smile crept onto his face. He sat up and pounded his chest like a caveman. “You, woman, kitchen. Me, man, eat.”

  I giggled, unable to maintain the stern look I wanted to give him. “You’re ridiculous.”

  A knock sounded at my bedroom door.

  “Get up, you two! I miss my best friend! If you’re not out here in five minutes, Paige Hill, I’m coming in after you!”

  Clay stifled a groan. “I forgot I have to share you. Dammit!”

  I started to sit up, but he grabbed my waist to pull me back down with him.

  “Life is so crazy right now. I don’t know when I’m going to get to have you just lying next to me in bed again.”

  “Tonight? Tomorrow morning? Tomorrow night? The next morning?”

  He grinned. “You promise?”

  “Every night?”

  His grin grew. “That sounds like a big commitment.”

  “Oh, well, if you don’t want to—“

  He sat up and pressed his lips to mine. “Silence yourself, woman. I want to.”

  There was that warmth again, spreading through my soul. I smiled at him, and then my smile faltered when I thought of last night’s meeting with his parents.

  “Clay,” I said.

  He read my expression, and reached up to brush the hair out of my eyes. “What’s wrong?”

  “Why didn’t you tell me about your dad?”

  He frowned. “I wasn’t trying to lie to you, Paige. People just tend to treat me differently when they find out I’m a governor’s son. Especially girls. I didn’t want to mess things up. I was going to tell you, but then everything went to shit.”

  I nodded. “Okay. I can understand that. But are there any more secrets I should know about?”

  He shook his head. “Nope.”

  “Good. We’ve got about one minute before Gillian comes barging in here. Let’s get dressed and go eat breakfast.”

  He groaned this time as I got up, but he let me go. He watched me grab a purple satiny robe out of my closet and put it on, tying the belt at the waist.

  I blew him a kiss as I slipped out of the room, closing the door behind me so he could get dressed.

  Gillian sat on a barstool with a giant white mug of steaming, fragrant coffee, drumming the fingers of her opposite hand on the countertop.

  “Well good morning, love,” she said with a scowl. “I’ve been waiting forever for you to wake up.”

  I walked over to her and wrapped my arms around her bare shoulders. Even first thing in the morning, Gillian looked cover-ready. She wore a stylish, off the shoulder sweat-shirt and stretchy, black pants.“ Aw, Gill. I missed your general cheer first thing in the morning.”

  “I missed everything about you,” she retorted. “And now Clay is monopolizing you!”

  She lowered her voice. “I haven’t forgiven him, you know.”

  I stared at her. “Gill! You’ve been giving him a hard time, haven’t you? Btu you knew he didn’t sleep with Hannah!”

  “I knew,” she admitted. “But you were still gone. And he was still the reason. So yeah, I made his life a little bit of a living hell.”

  She held her fingers a millimeter apart for effect.

  “Oh, Gill,” I sighed. “He’s been a mess, I can tell. I don’t think he ate more than two meals the entire time. This murder charge has been really hard on him. I didn’t make it any easier by leaving.”

  My bedroom door opened down the hallway, and I quickly changed the subject.

  “So, who’d you have over last night?”

  “What?” Gill asked, the picture of wide-eyed innocence.

  “Were you giggling to your stuffed animals when we came in last night?” Clay asked as he entered the kitchen in his clothes from the night before and wrapped his arms securely around my waist from behind.

  I leaned back against him, savoring the contrast of his warmth and harness and the safety it conveyed.

  “Are you going to class today?” Gillian asked abruptly.

  “Subject change, huh? Okay, I’ll allow it. Yeah, I’m going.”

  Clay’s eyebrows shot up. “You are?”

  I didn’t miss the forlorn tone in his question. I arched back to kiss the tip of his nose.

  “Yep. Do you want to hurry home to get ready so you can drive me?”

  He smiled so widely his eyes crinkled in the corners. “You’re going to let me hover?”

  “I sure am. You get one free week of hovering. So I’ll see you in about thirty minutes.”

  “Yes, ma’am,” he said quickly. He dropped a peck on my lips, saluted Gillian, and walked out the front door at a clip.

  My gaze lingered after him, even after the door closed.

  “Stop it,” Gillian snapped. “I’m going to gag. It was really that easy?”

  “What was?” I asked.

  “To get back into that rhythm with him.”

  “Yes, Gill. It really was. Forgive him. Please? For me.”

  “What about Beau?”

  An uncomfortable zing of anxiety panged my gut. “What about him?”

  “I saw you two last night. It isn’t nothing. I’m sure Clay realizes it isn’t nothing.”

  I sighed. “I’ll always feel something for Beau. Especially after this month. He was absolutely wonderful, exactly what
I needed him to be. But what I have with Clay…it’s incomparable. I couldn’t match it with Beau even if I tried.”

  “You could,” Gillian argued. “If you gave him time.”

  “Gill,” I warned.

  “Okay, okay. Just playing Devil’s advocate. But your month with Beau and the feelings it dragged up aren’t going anywhere, Paige. So you’d better deal with them. Sooner rather than later.”

  Clay

  After the quickest shower I’ve ever had, I threw on a pair of jeans and a hoodie. As I grabbed my Graphics textbook off the dining room table, I caught Rob pouring himself a cup of coffee in the kitchen.

  “I heard,” he said, smiling. He walked over to me to bump my fist and pulled me in to a hug. “She’s back.”

  “Yeah,” I said, smiling. “She is. And I feel like a new man.”

  He appraised me. “You look like a new man. Shit, Clay, I didn’t realize until just now how much of a mess you were. Thank God she’s back.”

  “My sentiments exactly.”

  “So, Drew said she was in Haygood with some guy,” Rob mused carefully. He scratched his shiny chocolate brown head. “What was that about?”

  “Her ex,” I sighed. “The only person she could call, I guess. I’m not happy about it. And we haven’t addressed it yet. Right now, I’m soaking up the fact that she came home. To me. Beau is back where he belongs, and so is she.”

  “So nothing happened?”

  My teeth clenched. “Not that I know of.”

  Rob leveled his dark brown gaze at me. “You gonna ask her?”

  I considered. I still didn’t know if I was going to ask Paige about her and Beau. I knew it was a conversation we needed to have, but did I really want to know?

  Rob read my expression and he nodded. “Gotcha. You don’t know what to do yet. Well, right now, you need to focus on this charge, man. Do you know what the next step is yet?”

  “Actually, we all need to sit down and talk. I may need you guys on this one.”

  “I’m there, whatever you need, bro. Just let me know.”

  I slapped his back and turned for the door. “You’re the best, Rob.”