by Syd Parker
Forty—five minutes later, she heard Lex’s car in the driveway. It had been several weeks since their conversation, and although the first few days after had been awkward, they were getting back to normal again. She didn’t almost spill her guts every time she was around Lex, and Lex had stopped looking hopeless. She had started to believe that this was going to be okay.
Aspen was putting a last shake of cinnamon on the apples when Lex came in, her arms loaded with bags. “I thought you were just picking up a couple of things.”
“Yeah, it ended up being a little more than a few things.”
Aspen started unloading the bags. “Ice cream. Chips. Beef jerky.”
Lex grinned sheepishly. “I was starving. Everything sounded good.”
“Well, ice cream will go well with the pie.” Aspen wadded up the bags and put them in a recycling container underneath the sink. “Apple pie okay? I could freeze this and make something else if you prefer.”
“Apple is fine.” Lex washed her hands. “Are you hungry? I can start dinner now.”
“Actually, yes.” Aspen confessed. “I am starving.” A loud rumble made them both laugh.
“Sounds like we woke the dragon.” Lex dodged the dishtowel that Aspen sent flying her way. “Hey! You want dinner; you had better behave.”
Aspen glared in her direction. “Just get to cooking or you won’t get your pie.”
Lex waggled her eyes suggestively. “You never denied me your pie before.”
“Things change.” Aspen said with a hint of a tremor. “Well, stop standing there staring at me and start cooking.”
Lex held her gaze, the air between them fraught with emotion. It would be so easy to take what she wanted, possess Aspen once again. Her heart was torn in two different directions. The life she was yet to live, and the love she was leaving behind. She tore her eyes from Aspen and willed her heart to stop thundering in her chest. She swallowed the lump in her throat. “Pan…do you have a skillet I can use?”
Aspen pulled a stainless steel skillet out of the cupboard and handed it to Lex with a confused look. “No grill for the steaks?”
“Nope. Cass…” Lex cleared her throat. “I learned a new method. Much juicier." She turned the stove on and set the skillet on the burner.
“You know it’s okay to talk about her. You are engaged.” Aspen washed a head of lettuce and set it on the counter to dry. “How did you meet?”
“Her store. Saks. I was up for a Polk award. It’s a journalism award, and I needed something to wear to the banquet. I went to Saks to get a tux. Cass was working her way through college as a sales clerk. She fitted me for a tux…and fitted herself right into my life.” Her tone dropped.
“You sound like that wasn’t your choice.” Aspen’s senses were working in overdrive. She heard regret in Lex’s tone, or so she thought. Maybe she was just putting doubt where it shouldn’t be. “I’m sorry. That's really none of my business. I’m sure she is wonderful, and you both are incredibly happy.”
“Yeah, well she is very persuasive. We started out dating, and the next thing I knew, things started showing up in my apartment. A toothbrush, makeup, panties. Little stuff, but I blinked, and suddenly, there she was living with me.”
“But you do love her right?” Aspen cocked her head to the side and studied Lex’s face. “I mean you are marrying her.”
“Yeah, I guess.” Lex dropped the steaks in the hot skillet and watched them sizzle for several seconds, before she turned around and leaned against the counter, her arms across her chest. “I mean, yes. I do. I guess it’s all just happening a little fast, that’s all. I was content to just live together, but she has this picture of a big wedding in her head. I guess I just prefer the way we did it.”
The admission sent their thoughts reeling to ten years before. They had married on the porch of the ranch and had a small ceremony with just friends and family. They spent the afternoon hiking, enjoying their first few hours together. “It was good, Lex.”
“We were good, A. Don’t you think? Everything about us was special.”
“Lex, don’t.” Aspen felt herself closing off emotionally, protecting herself. Every day that passed, it became more and more difficult to keep her distance. “Don’t talk about what used to be. This is now and this…” She pointed between them. “…this thing between us is friendship, or at least the beginning of it. We had our chance, Lex.”
“Did we?” Lex searched her face, looking for something; a sign that maybe Aspen felt the same way. “What if our second chance is now, and we are ignoring it?”
“Lex, I believe in second chances, just not with me.” Aspen’s tone held an air of finality about it. “We had our chance. This is an opportunity for us to move on from the past, maybe be friends again. I’d like that.”
Lex saw the determination in her eyes and knew there would be no convincing her otherwise. “Sure, yeah. You’re probably right. What are the odds lightning strikes twice, and we get consumed by the love of a lifetime again?”
Lex’s eyes burned into Aspen with such intensity that she felt her knees might buckle beneath her. Aspen’s heart stopped in her chest. All her bravado was about to fall by the wayside if she didn’t break the connection between them. She opened and closed her mouth several times before deciding no words would douse the flames inside her. Instead, she turned away, busying herself with anything that would push Lex’s look of desire from her mind.
Lex watched her pull away, the distance between them returning. Maybe Aspen was right. Perhaps friendship was what they would find here. God knows; she needed it. Too many hours on the road left her little time to keep any real friends, and Cass’s friends were all younger and too immature for her. “Maybe you’re right. Friends it is then.”
Aspen looked over her shoulder and smiled; relief in her eyes. “Good. Yes, that’s good.”
They fell into an amiable silence, working around each other comfortably. Aspen set the salad on the island and watched Lex bend over to put the pan—seared steaks in the oven. Her eyes dropped to her shapely bottom and her muscular legs. Aspen’s stomach jumped. Her traitorous mind pictured those legs wrapped around her, and she gasped out loud.
Lex spun around and cocked her brow questioningly. “You okay?”
“Yeah.” Aspen felt the heat rise in her cheeks. “I…uhh…I almost dropped the pie.” She held up the apple pie as if explaining everything.
“Okay.” Lex saved her the embarrassment of explaining the blush, instead reaching for the pie. “What does this need to cook on?”
“Three—fifty.”
“Perfect, that’s what the steaks are on.” Lex opened the door again and this time Aspen shamelessly studied her flawless body. She felt warmth effuse her body. She may be offering friendship only, but she would be damned if she wasn’t going to be stuck out in the middle of nowhere and not enjoy the scenery. “Umm, you wouldn’t happen to have another skillet, would you?”
“Of course.” Aspen pulled another pan out of the cupboard and handed it to Lex. “What’s this one for?”
“This is for my secret weapon.” Lex set the pan on the stove and fired up the gas. She pulled a package of shitake mushrooms out of the fridge and started chopping them. “Hey, can you open that bottle of wine?”
Aspen pulled a bottle of Kendall—Jackson Reserve Merlot off the counter and opened it. She handed it to Lex, who poured it into the pan and watched it sizzle. She tossed a handful of shallots into the hot liquid and watched the mixture steam.
“You are getting pretty fancy in your old age.” Aspen teased, but she was impressed. “You never cooked like this before.”
“Well, let’s just say I’ve had some time to perfect a dish or two.” Lex smiled and handed the bottle back to Aspen. “I’ve used what I need. Pour us a glass?”
Aspen took the bottle and felt the tips of her fingers brush Lex’s. Electricity shot up her arm, and she pulled the bottle away a little too quickly. She met Lex’s questioning
gaze and smiled ruefully. “So, when did you start drinking reds?”
Lex shrugged. “Mmm, a couple of years ago, I guess. Cass prefers them. I developed a taste for them after a while.” She turned and poured balsamic vinegar into the pan and brought the mix to a boil. She turned the heat down and added beef broth, Worcestershire, some tomato paste and fresh rosemary, stirring them all together. “Besides, Merlot makes a hell of a finish to the filet.”
“So, I’m learning.” Aspen watched her add flour—coated shitake mushrooms to the pan. Once they were tender, Lex added a teaspoon of Dijon mustard. She turned the stove to low and pulled the steaks out of the oven. The aroma of beef mingled with pepper and Merlot filled the room. “God, that smells divine.”
“Thanks.” Lex felt herself blush. For some reason, it mattered more to her that Aspen loved this meal then any she had made for Cass. The thought should have scared her, but it didn’t. She realized that she still had a need for acceptance and love from Aspen, maybe just on a different level. “Still like it medium?”
Aspen smiled; genuinely touched that Lex would remember such a small detail. “Yep. Still like a little moo in my meat.”
Lex dished salad onto plates and added the filets, dousing them both with equal portions of her mushroom sauce. “What kind of dressing do you want? Still blue cheese with a little Italian?”
Aspen’s face broke out in a smile. “You remember that?”
“You’d be surprised what I remember.” Lex poured dressing over their salads. “You’re hard to forget.”
“That’s funny. I always thought I was easy to forget, even harder to remember.” Aspen shot her a self—deprecating smile. “So, you want to eat in here or in the living room?”
“Mmm…” Lex sipped her Merlot while she decided. “Let’s do the living room. The Patriots are on. You don’t mind, do you?”
Aspen shook her head, grabbed her plate and followed Lex into the living room. She set her glass down and flopped into one of the wingback chairs with a sigh. “Thanks for cooking. I didn’t realize how exhausted I was. With Aunt Ginny and you gone, horse duty is wearing me out.”
“Well, I’ll be here for the next week, so I can help. I am your whore after all.” Lex chuckled into her wine glass.
“I believe that was my fence whore.” Aspen corrected her with her own smile. She stuffed the first bite of her filet in her mouth and moaned appreciatively. “This is amazing. Whatever you are doing in Providence, keep it up. This might be my new favorite meal.”
“Even better than my world-famous meatloaf?” Lex waggled her eyebrows. Her world-famous meatloaf, as she referred to it, was actually a charred brick of unidentifiable meat. The one and only time she had attempted to make it, she had gone to the bedroom to call Aspen for dinner and instead met her finishing up her shower and still naked. It was only later, after they had both been sated, that Lex remembered the meatloaf, which was burnt beyond recognition.
“Yes, well that was an interesting recipe.” Aspen scrunched up her nose. “I think the kitchen stunk for a week after that.”
“And there was no way to air it out. Every window painted shut. God, that was the worst apartment ever.” Aspen’s laughter filled the air. “It seems like only yesterday. Remember how we scraped by just to get that place?”
“There was no way I was living at your house. Your mom hated me.” Lex cut her own steak and tasted her first bite, savoring the spicy pepper flavor. “It was a year before she looked at me without glaring.”
“Can you blame her? You corrupted her only daughter.”
“The look on her face was priceless.”
Aspen snorted. “Maybe for you. I got a week long lecture about giving my virginity away to some smooth-talking letch. She wouldn’t let me leave the house by myself for weeks.”
“Good thing I had my dorm room.” Lex snickered softly. “Although, I’m not sure they meant for us to abuse it like we did. Poor Steph, I don’t think she signed up for the late-night sessions we gave her.”
“Umm, I don’t think the entire floor signed up for those late-night sessions. I seriously cannot believe I ever screamed that loud.”
“Well I was really, really good with my tongue.” Lex’s dark eyes twinkled.
Aspen blushed, the conversation and the heat of the wine getting to her. “Stop it, you.” She let the conversation taper off as they ate their meal. After she cleared her last bite, she put her plate on the coffee table and leaned back in the chair with a contented sigh. “You outdid yourself with that meal.”
“Thanks.” Lex smiled shyly. “I’m glad you liked it.” She leaned over and grabbed the remote. “You mind?”
Aspen shook her head. “Nope. Watch away. I might have to prop my feet up and take a nap.”
Lex watched the first few minutes of the game. At the commercial break, she found herself stealing glances at Aspen, watching her in gentle repose. Her eyes were closed and her hands rested on her stomach, her fingers laced together. Strong, narrow fingers. Artist’s hands were what Aspen called them. Lex felt Aspen’s fingers glide along her skin, and she trembled. Those perfect fingers that had brought her to orgasm so many times, had haunted her dreams and tugged at her heart.
“What?” Aspen’s voice surprised her.
Lex looked down guiltily, but when she raised her eyes, she saw that Aspen hadn’t even opened hers. “Nothing.”
“So, why are you staring at me?”
“I wasn’t.”
One eye opened slightly, and Aspen regarded her thoughtfully. “I’ve known you long enough to know when you’re staring at me. I can feel you, Lex.”
Lex stammered a response. “I…was…just...well, I was just thinking that you have gotten even more beautiful than you were when we were…” Her voice trailed off.
“Are you trying to sweet talk me?” Both eyes were open now and Aspen was studying her. “You want my pie, don’t you? Fine.” Aspen pushed herself out of the chair and grabbed their plates.
Lex watched her walk away. “Darling, I never stopped wanting your pie.”
“What?” Aspen called from the kitchen.
“Nothing.” Lex sunk down in the chair, embarrassment creeping over her face. “I was just saying don’t forget the ice cream for the pie.”
“Uh-huh.” The disbelief in Aspen’s voice was apparent, but she didn’t push. Steaks. Pie. Ice cream. All of this was starting to feel too comfortable, too right. She needed to distance herself again. She felt herself being pulled in by an invisible force field. Lex had the same pull over her now that she had all those years ago. Aspen had to admit the attention thrilled her, but there was no way she was opening herself up again to the same heartbreak she had experienced before. And having her heart broken by Lex another time was not something she would survive. The first time had almost been her undoing.
She mentally built a wall deep inside. She would stay strong. She wouldn’t give into temptation. She wouldn’t dream of following her heart. No, this time, she would listen to her head, and her head told her to run.
Chapter 10
“Ladies and gentlemen, this is the captain. Please remain calm. Your oxygen masks are being released as a precaution.”
Aspen’s hands held on to the seat with a steel—like clamp. She had felt more than heard the engine over the right wing stop working. The slight loss of altitude had left her mildly alarmed and when the captain had come over the intercom to announce an emergency landing, the alarm had elevated to a full-blown panic.
She wanted to watch out the window, to see the horizon. She wanted to see the tops of the clouds and reassure herself this was all a bad dream, but she couldn’t even turn her head, fear paralyzing her. She hated flying; hated that her fear made her immobile.
She had to fly though. Lex was getting married. She shook her head again wondering what on earth had possessed her to hop a flight and go half way across the world in search of a woman who was still running from her.
“Please pla
ce your own oxygen mask securely over your face before assisting your fellow passengers.”
In her head, she felt her fingers let go of their death grip and grab her own mask, sliding it over her head. The first few breaths actually made her dizzy.
“Miss? Miss?” A persistent voice broke through the haze, drowning out the slow rhythmic timing of her breaths into the plastic breathing apparatus. “Miss, please, let me help you get your mask on.”
She shook her head, feeling hands around her head, sliding the mask down her face. No, she thought. I have mine on. I don’t need two. She started to flail her head around, feeling her face covered and instead of assisting her breathing, the newly placed mask made her feel smothered and claustrophobic.
“Ladies and gentlemen, we have some serious news. We have lost another engine. We aren’t going to be able to make it to Charles de Gaulle airport. We are losing altitude fast. Our only option is to try to do a water landing.”
Land in the ocean? Aspen’s thoughts were a jumble of fear and fury. Her last glimpse out the window before this had all started was nothing but the dark-blue expanse of the ocean. Where were they supposed to go? She barely registered the silence around her, broken only by the whispers of flight attendants too shocked to believe and yet still tied to their duty.
She barely registered them pointing out the emergency exits. No one ever used the emergency exits. Flying was safer. Use the seats as flotation devices? Never. And yet, here she was half listening as they explained how to remove the seat. She felt the plane drop sharply and knew this was it. The captain and flight attendants worked in tandem making announcements that she heard but didn’t listen to. They were more like rumbled murmurs somewhere in the back of her mind.