It is What it is: A Hood Love Story

by B. , Ivory

  Ty ushered Lucky to the side, out the way of the heavy mall traffic. Keema stood in back of Ty looking concerned and on the verge of tears herself. Ty knew she would have to be the back bone in this situation even though she was dealing with her own drama. She calmed Lucky down a little. “Lucky are you hungry?” Lucky shook her head no but Ty didn’t believe it, they had been out for hours shopping and Lucky had nothing but a bottle of Vitamin water, while both Keema and her had pretzels and lemonade and Ty was starving.

  They ended up in a Friday’s restaurant in the mall sitting silently. The three women were seated in the back of the restaurant in a booth that was kind of secluded. Ty and Keema sat side by side while Lucky sat opposite them staring out the window. Lucky had just put them onto some shit she’d been going through that both Keema and Ty had no idea of. The constant arguments, Los staying out all night, and last but not least the complete dissolve of their love life; they were barley having sex at all.

  “So now he staying out all the time? When did this start?” Ty asked she had a million and one questions and it seemed like she couldn’t get them out fast enough. She didn’t want to overwhelm Lucky but she knew she had to get what she could get out of Lucky while she was talking. She knew her cousin, Lucky would shut down and say nothing, she’d bottle everything inside until it was too much for her to bear. “Umm it was like last month he just started hanging around less, those business trips to Miami, Jamaica, and anywhere else has become more frequent.” Lucky looked off into space. “I often wonder if he’s going on those so called business trips alone. I tried to call airlines to find out if he was traveling alone, only to find out that the asshole been chartering flights on a private jet, that’s owned by the record company, so you know I wasn’t finding out anything. I mean, things been strained for a while with us, but initially he was trying to make things right, now it’s like he threw in the towel…like,” Lucky hesitated. “Like what Luck?” Ty urged. “He doesn’t care about us anymore. He never been the type to stay home all day or anything. I know y’all know he be busy all the time…you know.” Lucky looked up at them hoping that they caught on, she just didn’t want to say the nigga a drug dealer. Keema frowned her face up “Lucky who the hell you think you talking to? Of course we know.” “Well, he used to always make time for me, now it’s like everything comes before me, even business. Every time those damn phones ring he out,” Lucky sniffled and looked down at the table. “I don’t even feel like we live together. I feel like we live amongst each other, we roommates instead of a couple. We not even making love no more, mostly because I refuse to give him any. I don’t know what he out here doing and who he doing it with, I’m not trying to catch shit. When I do give in, he banging the shit outta me with no emotion in it, then he hops up and takes a shower as if I’m dirty or something and he just leaves the house.” “What?! Lucky you don’t have to take no shit like that, leave his ass!” Ty said in frustration and anger. “Wait, wait” Keema interjected. “Do you know for sure he cheating? I mean, do this nigga smell different? Do he sneak around on phones and shit? Do you have any proof? Lucky no offense but you have been putting him through it, maybe he just stressin.” “Keema did you hear me? He staying out all night, that’s proof enough. It’s not the same with us. And Carlos has an overactive sex drive, all of a sudden he can go for weeks on end without touching me, you figure it out.” Lucky snapped with attitude. Keema just stared at her. “Keem I’m sorry I don’t mean to snap on you. I’m just going through so much, I’m letting y’all know first that I’m leaving his ass. I’m done. I can’t do this shit no more,” Lucky said through tears. Both Keema and Ty reached over the table to comfort Lucky. “Baby girl do what you have to do. If you feel like you need to leave him then leave him,” Keema concluded. She wished things didn’t have to go down like this for Lucky and Los, but she would never tell Lucky to stay if she wasn’t happy.

  “Lucky when did things get this bad? Him staying out all night? When did that start?” Ty asked confused. Ty wasn’t ignorant to the fact Los and Lucky had issues ever since he got caught out, never did she think things were like this. Lucky began to tell them about that fateful day that changed everything between her and Los

  “Y’all know that like a month ago it was Cutty’s birthday. Mika called me and asked was I going to this little memorial that Cutty’s people were throwing. So I’m like yeah I’ll go. I haven’t talked to Mrs. Janet in a while, and she was always really good to me when I was with Cutty. I feel ashamed having gone this long without talking to his mother. It’s just really weird being that Cutty’s not here.” Lucky paused. “And for the first time I saw his son, He looks just like him too.” Ty watched as Lucky’s bottom lip started to tremble “Lucky you okay?” Ty asked with concern. “Yes I’m fine. I’m so tired of this bullshit with these niggaz. I had no idea Cutty had a fuckin baby on me. Can you believe that? He was out there doing him, while I was being faithful. Even after finding out everything I did about Cutty when he passed away I still loved him; that didn’t change and I never thought I could possibly love anyone like I loved him until Los. I honesty love Los even more, so I had higher expectations from him. I expected him to treat me better and when he cheated it hurt like no other pain in this world.” Lucky broke down into sobs. Ty got up and sat beside Lucky. “Calm down Lucky.” Lucky caught her composure. “I’m okay, I am. I’m just really disappointed in Carlos. So anyways, I was at the memorial and I started having the worst cramps ever. I don’t know what was wrong I never cramp up like that. I went over to Cutty’s mom, we talked for a little and I told her I was leaving. She really didn’t want me to go and she actually said that in front of his baby mother.” Lucky chuckled. “I exchanged numbers with her and bounced.

  I get home and Carlos had a huge candlelit dinner made. He hired a chef from Bertucci’s, to come out to the house and make my favorite Italian dinner. It was beautiful but I wasn’t feeling good. The whole thing caught me totally off guard. Like we been beefin so I wasn’t expecting all the romance. I stood there looking surprised. He asked me what was wrong? I told him nothing, I just wasn’t feeling well and that I wanted to go lie down. I went upstairs and he followed.

  Then all of a sudden out of nowhere he was like you thinking about your Ex ain’t you? I was shocked, but I figured he had heard about the memorial from the streets being him and I haven’t been speaking with each other lately. He told me to be honest with him, then he asked me if Cutty was still alive would I be with him instead? I answered honestly because I’ve never lied to Carlos. I know how crazy his ass is about honesty and loyalty it’s too bad he don’t practice what he preach. I…I told him I didn’t know, that yeah probably I would have been with Cutty.” Ty’s jaw dropped to the table. “Yo Lucky you said what?” “Ty he looked so hurt, then he just spazed out. He started picking up things in the room and smashing them. He was like, oh so you wit a nigga for convenience. The only reason you with me is cause you can’t be with a nigga that’s dead, that’s why you here. All this shit, Gucci this, Prada that, fucking trips all around the world that’s what you here for?! I had to read this nigga his rights. I’m like you think I’m using you? I had before you came into my life. It’s not about this material shit, I never asked you for it, you gave it to me. None of this matters to me. I never wanted it, all I wanted was you. Carlos I love you. I was trying to reassure him that I do love him. I love him, I swear I do,” Lucky said with silent tears running down her face. Seeing Lucky so messed up tugged at Ty’s heart. She knew her cousin really loved Los, he was just too stubborn to realize it. “Lucky it’ll be okay,” Ty assured her. “No it won’t be. I tried to hug him. I just wanted him to hold me and make sure we were okay. But he pushed me away hard and told me to stay the fuck off of him. I was so hurt and mad with him for pushing me away I just flipped. I started screaming back at him. I asked him why did he always act so insecure with just the mention of Cutty’s name? Cutty’s dead and gone, and it’s no coming back for him. And y
ou know what his reply was? He said he knew it wasn’t no coming back for him, cause somebody left that nigga with his thoughts on his dashboard.” Keema threw her hands to her mouth. She was shocked at how mean Los could be with his words. Then he just lost it.” Lucky continued on with the story going back to that awful night.

  “Fuck that nigga! You carry that nigga memory up on a pedestal like he fucking special. He better than me?! He better than me Lucky? He did the same shit to you that I did, he cheated! You can forgive him and you can’t forgive me, a nigga that loves you! You sit around acting like shit would’ve been so different if he were here. Fuck you Lucky and that nigga too. Yeah I said it, fuck that nigga and his memory.” Los spat in a rage he knew what he was saying wasn’t right but his anger got the best of him. Lucky cried even harder. She was almost hysterical and that angered Los more. The thing was Lucky wasn’t crying for Cutty she was crying for Los. She walked up to him trying to bury her face into his chest. She wanted him to hold her but he refused “Fuck away from me Lucky, go to the cemetery and hug on that nigga.” “Fuck you too!” Lucky screamed back getting tired of the verbal abuse. Carlos glared at Lucky before turning and walking away “Carlos! Carlos! Carlos! Please don’t leave.” “Fuck me ha? Lucky nah as a matter fact go get that dead muthafucka to fuck you!” Los spat with venom.“No fuck you Carlos and your father too!” Los froze that hit his heart like a ton of bricks. Lucky’s hands flew up to her mouth. It was as if that came from somebody else’s mouth definitely not hers. She would never say anything like that, well at least she thought she could never. She knew of the love Carlos had for his father and he missed his father till this day. “Carlos I’m…” Lucky started to apologize but didn’t get to finish. “What the fuck you just say about my father?” Los barked spinning around and charging at Lucky. Lucky froze, she saw him coming at her and dropped to the floor balling up and covering her head. She didn’t know what Los would do to her he wasn’t mad, he was enraged. He grabbed her up from the floor and shook her, fighting the urge to really lay hands on her.

  “He told me that I was lucky he loved me, because if I were anyone else he would’ve killed me for shitting on his father’s name. Ever since then things haven’t been the same. Something happened to Carlos and I don’t know if I’m to blame. That was the first night he ever stayed out all night and he started acting really distant. I’ve apologized a thousand times, I don’t know what else to do,” Lucky whimpered. Keema and Ty gave each other the what the fuck look. Ty huffed, this was all too much for her. Both Lucky and Los were in the wrong. “Lucky what’s wrong with you two? Are you trying to see just how much he loves you? How much he can put up with before he throws in the towel?” Ty asked with attitude. “He’s in the wrong but you are too. If you gonna leave him then leave. This shit right here ain’t nothing but mental stress, there’s no sense of dragging this relationship on if you feel there’s nothing left. Lucky I love you, I’m riding with anything you want to do. You know you still got your room at my place. Just say the word and I can come with you to pick your things up from his house. What you wanna do?” Lucky just sat there without even blinking. “What should I do Ty?” Ty shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know, I can’t make that decision for you. Hell I can’t seem to make the right decisions my damn self when it comes to men.” That got a little laughter from everyone at the table shedding some humor on the somber mood. “I’ll just tell you something someone really close to my heart told me, follow your heart.” Ty pointed to her chest. “Girl that shit will never lead you wrong. I wish I had followed that advice myself.” Lucky gave Ty a strange look. She didn’t know what the hell Ty was talking about. She really couldn’t register anything her mind was so focused on Los. Keema looked over at Ty and they locked eyes. “You know it’s never too late to listen to that advice,” Keema said with a smile on her face. “Sleep on it Luck. Then decide your next move. You already know me and Ty got you on whatever decision you make,” Keema suggested. Lucky shook her head looking dazed.

  I’m not saying it’s right, but I understand

  Los awoke to hard banging boom, boom, boom. “Yo what the fuck?” Los growled. He was tired and hadn’t really been able to get a good night sleep. He and Lucky had been beefing so his sleep pattern was affected. He found himself unable to sleep in the same bed as her simply because he was always tempted to touch her. Well before the huge argument that was the case. Now they slept on opposite sides of the bed, each acting as if they crossed that imaginary line in bed something bad would happen. Initially Los started sleeping in the separate sitting area that he used for watching TV or playing any of his gaming systems. When he kept waking with back cramps and stiff neck he knew that he definitely had to find a more comfortable place to get some sleep.

  One night Los had stayed out till the wee hours of the morning fucking around with his boys at a little hole in the wall illegal gambling spot. He got so caught up in a dice game talking shit, having a good time that he’d lost track of time. Lucky was blowing his phones up, while he was shooting dice. Knowing he would be in hot water when he got home just like a teenager who broke curfew he decided to stay out and deal with the consequences later. Niggaz was trying to play him while they were shooting dice “Nigga you better get the fuck home, you know damn well Lucky gonna fuck you up,” Meat commented. That statement got a big laugh out of everyone standing around either watching or playing. Los didn’t take offense he laughed as well “Yeah nigga, talk ya shit, you should do less talkin and try to get back either ya money or shine. You know you need ya shine. I mean that is the only reason ya ugly ass gettting pussy, and oh yeah, the fact you down wit my team. I’m the reason you fuckin, if it wasn’t for me you wouldn’t be smashing nothing.” Niggaz was on the floor laughing. Meat wasn’t ugly but he was really funny looking. “Nigga fuck you,” Meat spat. Los knew what Meat was doing. He was mad because Los was killin him in the cee-lo game. He thought by talking shit he would knock Los off his square and be able to win some money or either his jewelry back. “Yo you know what? Los held up Meat’s huge diamond necklace. I might have this shit broken down into a bracelet, and some earrings for my bitch,” He said while laughing. “Yeah ya pussy whipped ass would. You and that nigga Kobe the only niggaz I know that’s gon fuck around and go broke on those baby I’m sorry I fucked up gifts. First it was that nigga Kobe with a purple diamond and now it’s ya ass with that fucking Bentley.” Niggaz fell out laughing, so did Los. “Me go broke, c’mon nigga never that.”

  In the end Los had cleaned Meat out. He walked away ten g’s richer, which wasn’t shit to either man but bragging rights. He did give Meat his jewels back though, they were no use to him he had his own jewels. Being that he was away from his boys and in his car on his way home. He picked up one of his phones to listen to the voicemail messages that Lucky had left so he could try and gage how much trouble he was in.

  “Carlos I can’t fucking stand you! I hope your dick fall right the fuck off! Why you do this to me? Lucky cried, I love you but you can’t keep it in ya pants. I should have been left ya sorry black ass. What is that bitch doing that I ain’t? Don’t even come home, stay where ever the fuck you at. That bitch can have you!” And that was just one of 13 voicemails she left on that one phone.

  Carlos threw his head back on his head rest and shook his head back and forth. Man Lucky on some next shit. She said she hope a nigga dick fall off? What the fuck? Nah man hell nah. Yo I can’t deal with this dumb shit tonight. She gon fuck around and make me choke the shit outta her if she try to flex on me tonight, I’m not in the mood. Los thought to himself while shaking his head back and forth in exasperation.

  He went to one of his apartments he owned in Philly, owning real estate throughout the city was a blessing. He had a high rise luxury apartment in University City that was fully furnished. He used it mainly as a stash house and he rarely ever came there. Only Nice, Jah and his mother knew about the apartment. Nice and Jah because they always knew Los’s moves and w
ere fam, His mother was the real estate agent who actually did the closing on the apartment so she was aware of the property.