And then I’m aware of his dick against my hip, and I sense we’re back to that unstoppable animal instinct to mate. He’s courted me, and now I’m offering myself to him by opening my legs. Our touches move fast, his tongue on my nipple swirling as he leans over and reaches down. I think he’s about to put his hand there again, but he grasps my hip and next thing I know he’s sitting up and has pulled me onto his lap. I straddle him and look down as he looks at my lips, his wet and flushed from kissing. I wrap my arms around his shoulders, our breaths fast as he runs his hands from the top of my head down to my ribs, before he’s lifting me up and shifting his hips. Then he’s inside me. His eyes close as his head tilts back and I feel the full girth of him pushing in through a place that hasn’t been touched in years. He’s bigger there than the only other guy I’ve been with, and I feel every inch. My fingers dig into his skin as I slide down, my teeth sinking into my lower lip as I watch him. His face relaxes, his lips parting in an ‘o’ and I know I feel good on him.
“Move on me, get used to my dick,” he says with eyes still closed.
Pressing our torsos together, I pull myself closer to him with my arms around his shoulders. I roll my hips over and over, encasing and retreating, letting go of any inhibitions and just existing in the moment. The way the sun feels on my back, his big rough hands on my hips, his veiny forearms, my tummy trembling as I work muscles in a way I never have before, his sounds almost whimpers as I work myself up.
While his head’s still back, I lean down and suckle his neck, lapping my tongue over the salty taste, the savory flavor has me feeling as if I’m consuming this man. His body jerks from the contact of my lips and my hips move faster, not wanting to end this moment, but wanting to orgasm. I know once I do, I’ll never be the same. Sven’s released me in a way, demolishing the perfection I try to exude. He makes me feel perfect in my imperfection of being a human being. I don’t need to pretend, or guard myself. I’m his Missy. His hands tangle in my hair, pulling my head back but bringing me close to his face, my nose against his cheek, as he starts to hold my hips down and thrust into me.
“Oh, oh,” I pant, my fingertips digging into his biceps.
“Missy,” he chants, “Oh fuck, fuck, fuck…Missy.”
My breath catches as my eyes close and a detonation of sensation overwhelms me. I cry out, only for a moment before my voice is gone, the function of my voice box disabled as my body tightens. While a kaleidoscope of colors circle behind my eyes, I can hear our hearts beating in sync, our breaths pounding as his warm cum fills me. My head slumps onto his shoulder as I pant, and I realize I’m holding onto him so tight I can barely take a deep breath. I begin to release him a little, but find he’s also holding me just as tight. Slowly, I register the sound of the water flowing, the leaves dancing in the slight breeze, and the group of people still messing around. I’m back on earth and I literally feel like I’ve just returned from the moon. Sven gathers all my hair over my shoulders and smooths it down my back, kissing my shoulder as he holds me.
“You okay?” he asks before kissing my temple, and I nod.
He must be concerned with my non-answer and shifts to look down at my face.
“Can’t…talk…right…now,” I mumble.
He smiles brightly as he lays us back and I curl up on top of him. He raises his arms above his head to take in the sun and lets out a hearty sigh. His cock’s still inside me, softening but still firm and very much present. I close my eyes and sigh, taking in this feeling of newness. Sven moves a little, and I hear the belt of his pants clack before the sound of a lighter flicking, then the smell of marijuana filters past me on the breeze.
“Want some?” he asks, holding the smoke in his lungs.
“I never have,” I confess, looking up as I rest my chin on his chest.
He doesn’t say anything, just nods and rests the back of his head on his bent arm.
“Can I try?” I ask.
Giving me a long look, he contemplates my words and I wonder if he thinks that this will corrupt me or something.
“Come here,” he says with a quick lift of his chin and I move up his body. “Open your mouth,” he tells me and I do with no question.
I watch as he presses the joint to his lips, inhaling the smoke deeply, then lifts his head and brings his open mouth towards mine. The smoke enters my lungs and I breathe it in, holding it for a moment before coughing and furrowing my brows. He gives me a smile, then a kiss before resting his head back.
We lay there for a long time, for hours it seems, touching and talking, swimming and just being together. The sun begins to lower, and we’re both dressed now. I’m a little sad that he’s suggested we head back toward the party. I’d forgotten there even was a party, and that Gwen was out there.
When we come out of the woods, his arm is draped over my shoulders and I can’t remember the last time I felt this vibrant. His touch frees me and makes me feel alive.
“You want to stay the night?” Sven asks me.
I stop and face him, “I’d like to, but I promised Sweetie I’d go fairy hunting in the morning.”
He gives me a look, not disappointed, but more that he likes what I’ve just said.
“Look at this piece of shit,” someone says behind me and I immediately turn to see who it is, the voice not nice sounding at all.
An older man stands there, his eyes blue like Sven’s. He’s blond too, but bigger, muscular but with a belly like he drinks a lot of beer.
“We were just leaving,” Sven growls in response, taking my hand and stepping slightly in front of me.
“Of course, only want to be a part of the club when there’s a party,” the man says. “And who’s this sweet bottom? She up for grabs?”
My cheeks flush just as Sven releases my hand and steps up to the man. Instantly two other men are there and pushing them both away from each other. They argue in their native tongue and as I look around, everyone’s looking at them. Sven and the man yell in Norwegian mixed English. They’re saying things like, “You patched in, you have to.” “Fuck that,” and “You’re not President, you can’t tell me what to do.” That last part comes from Sven, just before he frees himself from the men holding him back and turns toward me, taking my hand and leading us away.
“Everyone thinks you’re a hero, but I think you’re a waste!”
The man yells towards us and Sven’s hand tightens over mine, but I keep looking ahead as we walk. He leads us to where he and Joseph parked their bikes and I can tell he’s pissed.
“Who was that?” I ask quietly. Not like it matters I guess.
“The guy who fucked my mom and created me,” he says like a curse.
His dad? Why on earth would his dad be so mean? And all the things come to mind about what Sven told me in regard to how Gaye treats me. I don’t say anything, but watch as he stands there, breathing heavy, hands on his hips as he looks away from me. The energy between us is thick with so many things I want to ask, but know this isn’t the time.
“My dad and his friends started a motorcycle club years ago, I’m in the club but I don’t do shit with the club. He’s pissed about it, at me, at everything I fucking do!” He stops and exhales, finally looking at me. “I’m a fuck-up. That’s why I told you to stay away from me, not because I don’t fucking want you or don’t think about you or don’t dream about you, but because I’ll never be able to give you everything you deserve without having to be active in the club. But being active means I could get locked-up, get killed, all this shit I do not want you to get involved with. I know you’re only here for the summer, but fuck if I don’t think about more, longer, being with you and us making that family you talked about. I want to give you things, and it fucking scares me because I’ve never thought about anyone but myself before. I know you’re looking at me terrified because I sound crazy, but I went somewhere for years that I never thought I’d come back from, and I thought I was gone forever until the moment I heard you singing-”
&nbs
p; I stop his lips with mine as I crash into his body. It’s the only thing I can do to show him I appreciate his vulnerability, that he’s sliced open his chest and exposed his heart to me. To hear words put to the feelings I’m having, it does terrify me, but also creates a place inside my soul that wants things in my life to change. He holds me tight, like he’s trying to absorb my body into his, and our kissing turns to just an embrace. He’s lost, and so am I. I’ve worried about the future and what’s to come, but with Sven holding me, I know I’m not alone.
“Let me take you home,” he finally says.
“I don’t want to go,” I sigh, my breath fluttering the hair tucked behind his ear.
“You have to, for Sweetie.”
“But I feel like if I let you go, we won’t ever get this feeling back,” I confess.
Sven shifts and cups my face to look at me. “This feeling won’t ever go away,” he tells me.
The sincerity in his eyes has me nodding. I close my eyes as he kisses my temple and pulls my head to his chest. I can’t explain any of this. Meeting this man has me wanting to take the final steps I’ve been procrastinating. Yes, I have the job at the police station, but I need more. I want the freedom of a twenty-something to make my own decisions and do what I want. Sven’s words resonate inside me, rattling around my brain and wrapping around my heart like a warm blanket. He feels something for me he can’t explain, and I know that’s exactly how I feel about him. There’s something more between us that can’t be put into words, can’t be expressed with touches, it’s just so deep and spiritual.
We find Joseph and Gwen and I let her know I’m going home and make sure she’s okay with me leaving. I can see just by the smile on her face she’s having fun and is fine with me going ahead.
When he drops me off at the end of my parents’ street, he remains on the bike as I stand and turn to him. His eyes are downcast and he won’t really look at me. I feel like he’s embarrassed for what he told me before we left the party. Cupping his bearded jaw, I turn his face toward me as I step closer. I kiss his forehead and his hand snakes around to my lower back, his fingers clutching my bare sides. I close my eyes and breathe in deeply, my cheek resting on the top of his head as we connect.
“Everything you said back there…thank you,” I whisper. His body relaxing against me with my words. “I know you want me to stay away, but I can’t. You don’t have to give me anything, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do, but please know there’s nothing I want from you other than you.”
There’s so much I want to say, but I can’t put it all into words. His hands run down my arms as he leans in and kisses me. We kiss until I physically have to pull away. I want to go home with him and stay in his arms, but I can’t. I know it’s stupid to be feeling this way about someone I just met, and again, I’ll be leaving in a few months. But maybe I won’t. If I can pick up more work and make some more money, I might be able to stay here for longer. Ugh. But that’s stupid, I shouldn’t base my future around some guy. I really like Plantain, so does Sweetie, and I can see us making a life here.
I fall asleep thinking of having a family with Sven and, even though it frightens me a little, it fills me with hope more than anything.
7
FAYE
The next morning, I wake as the sun streams in through the screened windows of the sun room. The air is a bit chilly and I pull the white sheet up to my chin, curling into myself before even opening my eyes. I bite my lip as I exhale and remember yesterday. How after Sven’s confession, he held me and promised me he’d see me today. The guys were off work until tomorrow, but I knew he’d keep his vow.
Rolling onto my back, I blink and notice a bundle of flowers sitting on one of the many boxes stacked against the wall, beautiful flowers I can tell were clipped from someone’s garden. Sitting up I look out into the backyard, but see no one. Not like I really could if someone were there. Although the landscapers cleared a lot out, it’s still very much a secret garden back there. I know they’re from Sven, even without a note. I wonder when he came in and if he watched me sleeping. Gwen’s cot is empty and I hope she had fun last night, obviously opting to stay with Joseph.
I dress and make breakfast for everyone, feeling light and fluttery like a lovesick twit. My dad’s the first to come downstairs, taking a plateful of eggs and bacon. Then Gaye arrives, but she only drinks tea in the morning. They talk to one another and Gaye begins bitching to my dad about finding cigarette butts outside and that he needs to tell the workers to stop. Neither asks me where I was yesterday but before they can, I walk upstairs to wake Sweetie.
A little while later, Sweetie and I head off on our fairy hunting expedition. With butterfly nets in hand and mason jars in a bag, we roam the streets of Plantain. Some of the neighbors who know us by now, give us hints that they’ve seen some in their yard, or down by the mailboxes, and I give them a smile in thanks for making Sweetie happy. We get invited inside Mrs. Perkins’ house for some refreshments, and listen to her tell stories about the town and what not. We’ve been out for a while by the time the sun’s too hot and we decide to head back home. Sweetie and I are laughing about something when the sound of an engine rumbling has me turning my head towards the street. Sven’s in his pickup truck, leaning out the window with one hand on the steering wheel. His bare tan and muscular arm rests on the window frame and I remember how it looked when he was fucking me yesterday.
“Mornin’, beautiful ladies,” he smiles.
“Sven!” Sweetie says excitedly and Sven stops the truck as we both walk over towards him.
“Any luck finding fairies?” he asks.
“Nope,” Sweetie says.
“Hmmm, well, I was about to go fishing, and sometimes I see mermaids there. You guys wanna come?” he asks, looking from her to me.
I look down at Sweetie, because of course I want to go, but it’s up to her.
“Can we?” she asks with hope in her eyes as she looks up at me.
“If you want to.”
“Yes!” she claps.
Sven pulls up ahead of us and into the next driveway so we don’t have to walk in the street, and Sweetie gets in to sit in the middle of the bench seat. Sven and I share a look over her head as we begin to drive and I can’t stop smiling. I don’t know where we’re going but I don’t care; there’s no other people I want to be with right now. “Knock Three Times” by Tony Orlando and Dawn comes on and Sweetie squeals as she reaches out and turns the music up. The wind blows in the open windows as she and I sing, doing movements to the song lyrics. Sven’s smiling as he looks at the road ahead of us and I reach over to push my index finger into his cheek for him to join us, but he just turns his head and attempts to bite my finger.
“Come on, Sven!” Sweetie says over the music and the wind.
He looks down at her and I can just see him falling into her puppy dog gaze and submitting. It’s inevitable. When the chorus starts again, he jumps in, acting overly happy like he’d rather not be participating, but really, I can tell he’s enjoying it.
I notice we’re on the same route we took to the state park, but instead of heading straight, he makes a left on a clearly less traveled road. We bounce along the gravel road and the fishing poles in the bed of the truck knock against the metal and one another. Sweetie giggles and says ‘whoa’ every time we hit a big bump, so of course Sven tries to hit them all. Eventually we come to a clearing with a little dirt parking lot and sign with an arrow for a river through the trees. This must be where the creek comes from, and I smile to myself remembering what happened at the creek with Sven yesterday. Sweetie and Sven retrieve the poles from the back. Sven asks her to carry the tackle box as he hands me a cooler and he grabs the rest of the supplies. Sweetie is talking about never seeing mermaids as she begins down the path through the trees and we follow.
“Morning,” Sven says to me, kissing my cheek.
“Thank you for my flowers,” I reply, keeping my voice down so Sweetie wo
n’t know we aren’t paying attention.
Sven smiles but doesn’t look at me as we walk side by side.
“I was just going to leave them on the back porch, but-” He stops and I look over, he shakes his head a little.
“But what?” I ask.
“I saw you sleeping there and I just…I wanted to be close to you.”
I give him a smile. “Next time you could maybe lay with me. I wouldn’t mind,” I say, looking down at the path.
“Not with how loud you snore,” he states.
My jaw drops and I look over at him wide-eyed. “I do not!”
“I heard you halfway down the block.”
“Don’t sleep with me then,” I scoff snottily.
“I’m kidding,” he smiles, nudging his elbow into my arm. “Even if you did snore, it wouldn’t bother me,” he adds.
Sweetie stops at the river bank and the sun illuminates her blonde hair and tan skin. Turning back to look at us she asks, “Here?”
“I like to go up onto the ridge there.” Sven points to our left and we walk a few yards toward it.
“Oh cool!” Sweetie exclaims as she gets to the top and looks down, “This is a great spot for seeing them,” she declares, as I look down into the crystal-clear water.
We sit down on the grass and Sven gets the hooks on the lines and baited, showing Sweetie every step. She watches fascinated, sitting between his legs as he slides the worm on the hook. I grimace and look away.
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