“Look, he’s still moving,” she says.
“Disgusting.” I shake my head.
“It’s the circle of life,” she tells me.
“Yeah, yeah,” I say with a wave of a hand and look out at the river. I can see the water break away from the main flow in the distance and I wonder which leads to the creek where Sven and I were.
They stand as Sweetie takes the pole. Sven puts his hands over hers to show her how to cast the line and the hook goes flying through the air and I duck my head to not get it snagged in my hair. Sweetie giggles and Sven gives her some pointers on what to do. I lay back and enjoy the sunshine, watching Sven cast his line and they stand together at the edge of the ridge. I wish I had a camera, just because this is a fond memory and they look adorable together.
The afternoon is lazy, spent soaking up the sun, catching fish and making memories. Sven had packed a few PB&J sandwiches, some beers and Cokes, and we enjoy them as the cooler begins filling with fish. Sweetie’s having a blast and I can tell Sven’s enjoying our company. He takes breaks from fishing every now and then to sit with me and drink a beer while Sweetie looks for mermaids. We share a few chaste kisses and touches, and that fire between us continues simmering beneath the surface.
We’re there for hours and when the sun starts to dip behind the trees, we all climb down off the ridge and look for sticks to start a fire. Sven heads back to his truck for a grill rack, charcoal and some matches, then starts a fire and begins preparing the fish. He cuts them, guts them and Sweetie and I watch with morbid fascination. We eat the cooked fish and sit by the fire until I know it’s about time we head home. The weather has cooled with the setting sun and none of us are dressed for it.
Like before, I sit in the middle with Sweetie draped over the rest of the seat. This time, her head leans against the door as her feet nestle in my lap. Resting my head on Sven’s shoulder, his arm wraps around my shoulders as we drive back to Plantain. “Hello It’s Me” by Todd Rundgren plays over the radio and I hum along.
“I could listen to your voice forever,” he tells me and I turn my head to kiss his neck. “Easy with that,” he states.
“Hmmm?” I hum against his skin.
“I want you,” he tells me in a quiet voice.
“Then you can have me,” I tell him, lifting my head.
He turns to look at me, confusion in his eyes.
“You know where the backdoor is,” I say, as he pulls into the driveway.
I get Sweetie into the house and look out the front door to see Sven backing down the driveway. My parents are fighting in their bedroom and I walk Sweetie up the steps, passing by their open door before putting Sweetie in her room. Settling her onto her bed, I take off her shoes and jeans and t-shirt, leaving her in her underwear and pulling the sheet up over her. Kissing her cheek, I whisper ‘sweet dreams’ into her ear and click her dresser lamp on before exiting. My parents don’t say anything as I pass by again. They just continue to argue.
This isn’t new, but I thought maybe coming here meant that Gaye and Dad could maybe rekindle something between them, while away from everything. But I should’ve known better; that’s not Gaye’s style. She’s still with my dad, but I don’t think she forgave him for the affair. But I feel like if she didn’t leave him, then she should get over it. It would make life easier. Then again, it’s just another catalyst for me to move out.
I use the bathroom, take a shower and wrap myself in a white terry cloth robe before heading into the sun room. The moonlight shines in from the screened windows that encase the room. I run a towel over my damp hair and see a note on my pillow. It’s from Gwen, she says she’ll be back either later tonight or tomorrow morning. I smile, happy she’s having fun. It doesn’t bother me she’s here to see me but is with Joseph. I want my friend to be happy and I know she’s never had a boyfriend before and still struggles with feeling like she’s pretty. I hope he makes her realize she’s perfect.
Setting the note down, I pull back my sheets and lay down. Even though we didn’t really do much today, being out in the sun has me fatigued and drained. I groan when I realize I can’t sleep in the robe. The thick hood and sash at my waist are too uncomfortable, so I get up and pull a white linen nightie out of a box. No one can see me in here, even though there’s no covers on the windows, so I drop the robe and slip the garment over me.
Laying back down, I look over at the flowers from Sven and hear a thud like someone just threw something across the room upstairs. Closing my eyes, I sigh and conjure Sven in my mind. His smile, his eyes sparking with excitement when he was inside me yesterday. How his hands feel, how his heart beats, the tickle of his beard on my skin. Absent mindedly I roll onto my stomach and slip my hands beneath me, lifting my hips as I start to rub myself. I touch and pet before shifting and pulling the skirt of my gown up to my waist, grinding the side of my hand against my clit as I circle my hips and imagine Sven doing this to me. I pant for air and bite my lip, grinding hard until the squeak of the screen door at the end of the bed startles me. I flip onto my back with surprise to see Sven hurrying in, tearing his clothes off. The scent of him and campfire fill my nostrils. I open my mouth to say something like ‘oh, I was just sleeping,’ in an effort to save myself from embarrassment.
“Fuck,” he whispers, as he kneels on the bed and pulls my legs apart, burying his head between my thighs.
I gasp as he opens me wide with his shoulders, pushing me up the bed while his lips suckle my clit and his fingers plunge inside me. I’m right back to being on the verge, then my head falls back, and my fingers grasp his hair as I come. I’ve never had this before, a man’s mouth on me, but like Sven said, I’ve never been fucked by a man before. My core is still trembling as he raises me up onto his lap, his erection sandwiched between us as he kisses me. One hand leaves my back so he can run his closed fist up and down his shaft. I pant against his lips, his mouth open as our noses press together.
“Were you thinking of me when you touched yourself?” he asks.
“Yes,” I whimper and swallow thickly. “Fuck me, Sven,” I squeak out.
He stands from the bed and moves us onto the floor since the cot’s metal frame is squealing and screaming from the weight of our movements. My back rests on the floor as Sven raises my hips and he kneels, looking down as he positions his cock against my lips and leans down to lay over me. He cocoons my torso, kissing me as he thrusts inside me and I gasp. His mouth inhales my sounds as his hands wrap around the back of my neck and he starts to fuck me. Sweet Jesus does he fuck me. He’s massive over me, and I feel small and controlled with him inside me. My nails dig into his shoulders as I free myself from the kiss so I can breathe and he pushes my head up so my forehead’s pressed against his shoulder. Looking down between us, I watch as my body takes him, and we look better than that porn we watched when he fingered me at the theater. I feel his head shift as he presses his forehead against my neck to watch us too. He groans softly as he moves in and out fluidly, his muscles hard as his back bows and he penetrates me at a different angle.
“Sven,” I inhale and my fingers dig into the skin against his ribs.
Moments before we come, he holds me tighter, moving faster and I want to live in this moment forever. This feeling of safety and love envelopes me, and my eyes water with the overwhelming sense that I’ve found the one. When we both orgasm, it’s like time stands still and nothing can touch us in this moment. His body slows and I feel heat flood my veins as my body relaxes and we lay there on the floor in one another’s arms.
8
SVEN
Leaving Missy the morning after sneaking into her parents’ house was harder than the other times we’ve said goodbye. Still the big goodbye will come before we know it, and I can’t think about that when we’re together.
After the holiday, Joseph and I are both lovesick fools. He told me a little bit about his time with Gwen, and I’ve never seen him like this over a chick. He’s already planning on when he can
visit Alabama to see her. Then again, he’s never seen me like this over someone before, and I plan on going to Mississippi when I can too. I told her my intentions, told her that I want a future with her, but we haven’t talked about that again since. I catch glimpses of Missy as she leaves for work at the police station, and if her mom’s not watching, she sneaks to the side of the house and kisses me. If her mom is watching, she covertly blows me a kiss.
I notice Sweetie as she plays in the backyard, and sometimes she puts on little shows for me as I sit on the bed of my truck and eat my lunch. When I don’t bring a lunch, I pick Missy up and we go to the diner. We sit alone sometimes, and sometimes we sit with my friends in our booth. Missy told me she likes the guys and doesn’t mind when we all are together. Still, I know they think she’s pretty; well, Jasper and Owen do and even though they’re my brothers, they wouldn’t think twice about trying to get her for themselves.
Missy always asks me if I saw Sweetie that day and what she was doing, and I don’t tell her about the times I hear Gaye yelling at Sweetie. It just makes me angry when I hear it and I don’t want Missy to worry about it while she’s at work. If we don’t see each other for lunch, sometimes I take Missy out after her shift at the diner. She’s been to my place a few times, watching as I work on my bike, laying in the loft in my bed and making love as the sun goes down. I love these days, but it’s all a countdown. They all lead to the day she says goodbye and my reason for waking up in the morning diminishes.
I know Missy’s mom has been giving her a hard time when she doesn’t come home, but I don’t understand that. She acts like she could care a less about either of her kids, until her husband- who’s her live-in arguing partner- isn’t there. It’s like the woman isn’t satisfied until she’s made someone feel like shit. She reminds me of my dad, and I just can’t wait until Missy and Sweetie can leave there one day. I know Missy worries that Gaye will try to make Sweetie into a pageant queen, and she’s just waiting for the day Gaye sinks her talons in. That’s why Missy says her mom’s fighting so much with everyone; she’s bored and the day’s coming when she’ll need that hobby again.
One night while Missy is laying in my bed, her perfect naked body limp from love making, she tells me she wants to buy a car. She asks how much a good car costs so she can have a price in mind for a goal to save to. I give her little information. I can get her a good car for cheap since the club owns a used car lot.
The next morning, I make a call to Ivan, Owen’s dad and the President of the Warrior of the Gods. I tell him what I need and he says he’ll put a call into the lot and to head there after work. The whole day I think about surprising Missy with the car, but my fantasy is continuously cut off each time I hear Gaye yelling throughout the day. My blood begins to boil, not knowing for sure if she’s yelling at Sweetie because I never hear the little girl’s voice. But Sweetie doesn’t come outside at all today and I find myself leaving the job early just to get away from it.
One of my club brothers, Rancho, is at the car lot and comes out when he sees me walking up. I decided to leave my truck on Missy’s parents’ street and walk to the shop so I can drive the car to surprise her after she gets off work. He has a few cars lined up for me to look at, and even though I know she said she doesn’t care about what kind of car she gets, I know she wants something nice. I look at each car inside and out, checking under the hood, and I know Rancho only pulled out the best cars they have for me. I settle on a pale blue AMC Gremlin with a navy stripe painted all around the middle. It has the best engine and the newest tires, and I figure if she doesn’t like it then she can come pick one for herself.
I pay Rancho and drive the car around to make sure it runs well and then it’s close to time for Missy to get off work. I park down the street off Main Street, along the route she walks home, then go out and lean up against the back hatch to wait for her.
I love her work attire. She’s all put together in a skirt and flowery shirt, half her hair tied up in a ribbon as she walks down the street with her purse in hand. She’s oblivious to me as she looks down at the sidewalk and when she’s a few yards away I say, “Hey good lookin’.”
Her head pops up and a small smile forms on her lips. “Hi.”
“Got you somethin’.”
“Oh yeah?” she asks, stepping off the curb and into the street toward me.
I meet her halfway and then turn us toward the car. “It’s yours.”
I watch her reaction, her mouth opening in shock before she sighs and looks at me with furrowed brows.
“Sven, no, you can’t buy me a car,” she states.
“I didn’t,” I shrug and she gives me a pointed look. “I didn’t. I know a guy, so I didn’t pay anything.” It’s a lie, but she’s trying to save and make a living. If she can make enough for a place or something, maybe she won’t leave Plantain at the end of the summer. I can tell she doesn’t believe me, and I cross my arms. “Okay, so give me a dollar.”
“The car wasn’t a dollar, Sven,” she says.
“I know, it was free.”
After a few minutes, she relents and hugs me. “Thank you, but I promise I’ll pay you back somehow.”
I have an idea of how she can pay me back, but decide not to say that. Instead I give her the keys and we hop into the car. We drive around a bit and then she wants to go out into the desert and see how the car does at high speeds. I, of course, have no problem with this. By the time we get back to her parents’ house and park, she’s kissing me and can’t stop saying how much she loves the car and is excited to have it.
“Come to my place tonight,” I say against her lips.
“I don’t know. Gaye’s onto me about seeing someone. I’m afraid if she finds out it’s you, she’ll fire you-”
“So?” I shrug.
“Sven,” she exhales as she pushes me back with her palms on my chest.
I sigh because I do need the job and we both know that.
“I just hate missing time with you, like there’s a big score board just counting down the seconds.”
She caresses the side of my face as I rest my head back on the seat.
“I’ll come over after everyone goes to bed,” she tells me.
Now I feel like a whiney asshole. “I guess we should get out of the car before she sees us,” I say and exit the car.
I start down the driveway toward my truck when I hear Gaye from the front porch.
“Where have you been?”
“I just got off work and got a car,” Missy tells her. I stop where I am and turn to watch them.
Gaye storms over toward her, her eyes bloodshot, the veins in her temples bulging. “Your dad’s gone. He left, and I needed you here to keep him from leaving!”
“I’m sorry-”
But before Missy can finish the sentence, her mom slaps her, right across the face.
“Holy shit,” I say to myself as I jog over. “Hey, come on now. It’s my fault, I kept her out-” I start, stepping in front of Missy who’s clutching her cheek.
Gaye looks me up and down like she’s never seen me before and instantly I see I’ve now become the target of her anger.
“Of course it was you. Bet you think you hit the jackpot with her. Well, she’s not a virgin and doesn’t have any money, so there goes your plan.”
“Stop it!” Missy tells her.
Gaye’s eyes meet her daughter’s again, her jaw flexing as she points her index finger over my shoulder at her.
“This is all your fault! Ever since Sweetie you’ve used your dad against me! You’d think you were his wife, he loves you so damn much! You made a fool of me, not telling me he was seeing that black trash!”
“Okay, calm down,” I state, raising my hands. Gaye just pushes them down but I feel my rage building, the rage I try to always conquer and keep at bay.
“You have no idea what you’re getting into with her. Did you tell him?” Gaye asks Missy.
I don’t see what her reaction is, but Missy does
n’t answer.
“I know she’s not a virgin,” I reply, thinking that’s what Gaye means.
Gaye widens her eyes and begins laughing, laughing like an insane woman.
“You’re a lunatic,” Missy says to Gaye, brushing past me and her mom, and running to the house. I open my mouth to call after her, but Gaye shoves me in the chest.
“You should just take her off my hands. But don’t send her back when you’ve had enough of her disrespect. She’s the most ungrateful creature I’ve ever met. I put my heart and soul into making her a champion, and she blew it! She’s selfish and immature. She’s never been cut out to be a lady. She’s greedy, so you’ll have to give her everything she wants to keep her happy. That’s why she loves her father so goddamn much!” she rants, pacing in front of me and waggling her index finger in my face.
I move to walk past her and towards the door because clearly this woman isn’t right, but she grabs my shirt and pulls me, her nails digging into my skin.
“Goddammit,” I growl and turn toward her, pushing her back and she stares at me with wide eyes.
“That’s assault!” she yells at me.
“I’ll show you fucking assault,” I tell her, swallowing the anger that has my vision tinting red.
Then Missy comes out carrying a suitcase and some other bags on her shoulders. Sweetie is holding onto her other hand.
“You are not taking her!” Gaye says rushing up the porch steps behind me. She takes Sweetie’s other hand and begins pulling her.
“I’m taking her with me. I can’t leave her here with you, because you’re unstable,” Missy tells Gaye.
“You don’t even know how to take care of her!” Gaye screams.
They argue over each other while I watch as Sweetie tries to free her hand from Gaye’s, repeating ‘Mama, Mama,’ and I can’t take this one more minute. Putting my hands on Missy’s shoulders, I shake her a little until she looks at me.
“Just leave her. Come on Missy, she’s your sister, she needs to be with your mom.”
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