The Rag Nymph

by Catherine Cookson

  Left alone, Millie looked at Ben, and in a low voice, she said, 'Do ... do you think he guesses anything?'

  'I think he more than guesses, Millie. But what can he do? Even if he wanted to do anything, I don't think he does. I think he's glad to be rid of Boswell.

  Oh aye. You heard him say it's a pity it wasn't Big Joe an' all.' Then smiling wryly, he added, 'I think it would have taken two of me to tackle Big Joe.. What d'you think?'

  She went to him and put her hand on his cheek as she said, 'You could tackle Big Joe, Ben, or anyone

  else who stood in your way.'

  He now touched her cheek, saying, 'I'm not going to go into it yet, Millie, because I still can't believe it, and what's more, you might come to your senses.'

  'Oh Ben, don't say that, please.'

  'You mean, you don't want to come to your senses?' He was smiling at her now.

  'I mean I'm in my senses. And, look, tell me, what's this about the baker's shop?'

  'Well, you'll see for yourself. We're going there tomorrow. She's been working pretty hard these last few days, in the way of business.'

  'But this here.., she's always lived here, and her father and family.'

  'Well, she doesn't want you to live here any longer.'

  'But I could be happy here as long as I had you and her.'

  'Millie' - he now cupped her chin - 'd'you ever realise how beautiful you are? Don't close your eyes and shake your head like that. You were a beautiful child, you were a beautiful young girl, you're a more beautiful sixteen-year-old, but when you're a woman, I daren't think about that time.

  But since you were a child you've looked like a lily on a dung heap, set in this place. Yet I'm going to say this, whoever you would have married I would have been jealous of, jealous as hell. I say, if you had married. But to have seen you become someone's mistress, just used as a toy, that would have driven me crazy. I would likely have ended up doing to him what I did to Boswell. And if someone came along tomorrow, some real man, working man or gentleman, and you wanted to marry him, I...

  I'd try to behave meself, and not stand in your way.

  Of course, it would all depend upon if you wanted to, if you really wanted to. Now, now, now!' - he wagged his hand in front of her face - 'I'm talking sense; so, I'm not going to hold you to anything that

  you promised me when you thought I was pegging out.' He tried to chuckle, then added, 'And I did, you know. I thought I was pegging out. I didn't like it a bit, but there it was. I remember, though, every word you said.., every word.'

  'Oh, Ben, there's ... there's nobody like you.

  There'll never be anybody... '

  'I know that, the last bit, there'll never be anybody like me again. There's not two of me in this town.'

  'Ben, please, please stop playing yourself down, because inside yourself, you know' - now she was wagging her hand at him - 'you are a big head. You think yourself as good as anybody, better than the next. Now don't you?'

  Their gentle laughter joined when Aggie came back into the room, and she added, 'Well, what's the joke?'

  'I'm telling him he's a big head and that he thinks himself better than the next.'

  'Tell me something I don't know; I've had to live with it for years. Well now, are we goin' to get ready and go and see this gold mine, where you're goin'

  to make your fortune, miss? But don't forget, it's goin' to be no easy job diggin', because I can tell you something for nothing, I'm goin' to sit back and just watch. Retiring, they call it ... to the ladies' room.'

  Ben and Millie began to laugh outright, and Millie said, 'That was in the last story Mrs Sponge would have read to the night class, where the women were always retiring to the ladies' room. And remember the man who asked for an explanation?'

  'Well, what's the explanation? Tell me, 'cos I'm as ignorant as a pig. What is the ladies' room? The drawing-room? The boudoir?'

  'No, the closet.'

  They both exclaimed on the word together, and the kitchen rang with their laughter, which not one of them could remember ever really having happened before, not so light-heartedly, anyway.

  They had come by hired cab, and they were now standing on the rough kerb that edged the flags set in front of the two shop windows. They weren't large windows, nor was the door that was set between them, but it was a stout door, black and weather-worn, and what set off the whole front of the shop, too, was the strip of brass along the lower edge of each window: inscribed on one being the word 'Pratts', and on the other 'Confectionery'.

  Aggie handed a large key to Millie, saying, 'Well, go on, open it.' And as Millie was inserting the key in the lock Aggie turned to the cabbie, saying, 'You'll wait, won't you?' And he answered, 'As long as you like, missis.'

  'Well, in that case I'd throw a cover over that animal, else it'll be stiff before we come out.'

  It was almost an hour later when, standing in the sitting-room of the house on the upper floor, Aggie said, 'Well, what d'you think, really, lad?'

  'Well, Aggie, if you want to know the truth, it's like the opening of another world. I'm speaking for meself, mind. But what it's like for Millie here, well, I've no words to put into her mouth; she can express her feelings best herself. But I think you know how she feels.' His tone now changing, he said, 'I hope you realise, Mrs Winkowski, that this shop and this street is the last bastion of the "wouldn'tbes"

  of this city, and touching on the fringes of the

  "we've arrived" class.'

  'Aye, I'm well aware of that. And as Mr Pratt pointed out with a twinkle in his eye, he had served both camps for many years: the ones that come and buy from the counter, and the ones that send their little maids, or expect it to be delivered by his covered handcart.'

  'We'll have to deliver?'

  'Aye, lass,' Aggie said; 'but that'll be up to trade, of course: if there's a demand for it. Anyway, I've bought his little covered hand-cart. It's only an extra large box on wheels, but light enough for a lad to push. Now look; I'll leave you two up here to see what you're goin' to do about papering an' things. I must make me way downstairs.'

  As she neared the door she turned and with a mischievous grin on her face said, 'There's an outside closet, modern, he said. Mr Pratt seemed to be as proud of that as he was of his bake shop.'

  When the door had closed on her, Millie went to the window again and looked down on to the long narrow garden, and now she said quietly, 'It is wonderful, isn't it, Ben?'

  He came and stood by her shoulder and he, too, stared down on to the garden as he said, 'Aye, it is, Millie. It is wonderful.'

  She turned and gazed at him. 'What would I have done without her, Ben? If she hadn't picked me

  up that day, what would have happened to me?'

  She shuddered visibly as she added, 'The same as almost happened to me the other night. Oh, yes, yes; that's what would have happened to me. I have no illusions.' She bowed her head now, and she murmured, 'Those first days, I thought the world and everybody in it was vile, the high and the low; then I had to remember that Mrs Aggie and you were in it. And Annie was in it. And yes, that woman, Nell, because without her help I'd be there now, or dead.

  Yes, yes; I'd be dead.'

  'Come on, come on. Don't think about it any more. It's past, and nothin' like that can ever happen to you again. I'll see to that, or, at least, someone will.'

  'Why... why do you say that, someone will?'

  'I ... I don't really know, because ... well, yes, I do, for while I know this house, this business is real and that it will work out, for my own life and yours, I'm still not sure. There's something.., well, holding me back from hoping. But come; don't look like that, it'll work out. No matter what happens to you, just remember I'll always be there, or here.' He smiled now; then taking her arm, he said, 'Come on.

  She's bound to have inspected the closet, or the dry midden, or whatever name she's going to give it, by now. Very likely the ladies' room.'

  She did not immediately respond
to his touch and follow him but stared after him for a moment as if she were puzzled by his behaviour. However, she wasn't to wait long before being enlightened as to why he seemed so reluctant to take her love...

  'It's hard to believe that this district isn't a mile from The Courts.' And Ben said, 'I don't think it's even three-quarters of a mile, that's as the crow flies.'

  'I've never seen a crow for years,' Aggie said, laughing. 'When I was a lass they were always hovering round the barn. Odd that, isn't it?'

  They had left the gates open in order that the cabbie could drive straight into the yard, which he now did, only to stop half-way across, because there to the side of the door was a trap, and standing beside it was Bernard Thompson.

  As Ben helped Aggie down from the cab, she said,

  'He's got a bloody nerve. I told him not to put his face near this yard again. Well, I won't put a tooth in it this time.' But as she started to walk towards him, Millie said quietly, 'Mrs Aggie, please. I'll ...

  I'll see to this.'

  Ben said nothing, but, gripping Aggie's arm firmly, he led her towards the door, although she would keep her head turned to look at the man who was now moving towards Millie.

  Only when the door had closed on them did Millie look fully at Bernard Thompson, and she remained quiet as he began, 'Oh, Millie, I... I had to come.

  I just couldn't keep away. I ... I had to tell you in person how deeply sorry I am, not only for my stupidity in the proposition I put to you, but for what you have suffered because of me. I... I want to have a talk with you, Millie. I have something to say to you.' But before he could go on, she said,

  'You have nothing to say to me, Mr Thompson, that I wish to hear.'

  'Millie, please, isn't it in your heart to forgive me?

  I want to make amends, because I... I really do care for you, and I know you care for me.'

  'I no longer care for you, Mr Thompson. Yes, I may have, at one time, because, as I understand now, there's always a fairy prince in every girl's life. But if we are sensible it is just a figment of the imagination, bred from stories that we read. Youth is a time of fantasies. One grows out of them. But mine were blasted out of me.' Her tone was bitter.

  'I don't blame you entirely. It was my stupidity and Mrs Aggie's desire for my happiness and future that made us both so gullible.'

  'Millie. Will you listen to me, please? I have something important to say to you, because, believe me, I have your welfare at heart. My proposal to you before was as much to take you away from all this' - he flung his arm wide now -

  'as it was to satisfy

  my own feelings for you. I know you would say that Mrs Winkowski and the man Ben were dear to you, but I felt then that if they really cared for you they

  would have wanted a better life for you, even such as I offered; but I wouldn't have made it at the time had I not thought that both you and she were aware of my intentions. But now, Millie, knowing how deep my feelings are for you, I am willing to break off my engagement and marry you. That is how deeply I feel for you. Tell me you understand and that you will accept.'

  'Please, Mr Thompson, don't say anything more.

  Even if I hadn't become engaged to be married, and I still held a vestige of feeling for you, I would, at this moment, have scorned your proposal that is evidently being dragged from you, and... '

  'How can you have become engaged in such a short time? You are just saying this to put me off.'

  'No, I am not saying this, Mr Thompson. I am engaged to be married to Ben.'

  "What! To... to that man?"

  'Yes, Mr Thompson.' Her voice was loud now.

  'To that man, that honourable man who is worth twenty of you and your kin.'

  'But you can't, Millie, you can't.'

  'I can. And I've got you to thank for being able to say that I will one day be his wife; before this I was blind to my true feelings. So, Mr Thompson, you will have no need to break off your engagement, nor to suffer the humiliation that I undoubtedly would bring among your own circle. Things being as they are, it would eventually come out that you had picked me up from what you consider the mire.

  Good day to you, Mr Thompson.'

  As she turned from him he muttered her name pleadingly, 'Millie. Millie,' and when the door banged closed he stood looking towards it for a moment before he mounted his trap and drove out of the yard. It was over. She had made it final. Yet it was hard to believe she could have refused his offer of marriage - and for that man. Well, there was one consolation: he wouldn't have to face the hurricane of family when he announced his broken engagement to Grace, or the wrath of her brothers.

  Once the door was closed behind her, Millie stood, her hands pressed tightly against it for a moment; then she hurried into the kitchen.

  Ben was alone. He was standing in front of the fire, his good arm stretched upwards, his hand clutching the rim of the mantelpiece.

  At her entry, he turned slowly, and they stood apart for a moment; then, going to him, she put her arms on his shoulders and softly she said, 'Ben Smith, Jones, or Robinson, you have never kissed me.'

  She watched him slowly close his eyes, then moisten his lips, and when he looked at her again, he said, 'No, Millie; I never have, have I?'

  When he drew her close with his good arm, he still did not immediately kiss her, but gazed into her face; and she was made to ask softly, 'Now are you sure?'

  He laid his lips on hers, and when the first long kiss was over he said, 'I'm sure now. Oh, Millie, Millie. Oh, my love. I don't know why, or how you should love me, or could love me, but I know you do, at least a little, for you're still but a girl; but by the time you're a woman you will know just how deep my love is for you, and always has been.'

  There was a movement at the scullery door and, hesitantly, Aggie came shuffling in and straight towards them, and, her face abeam, she said, 'Aye, well, that's how it is, an' that's how it should be.'

  Then, putting an arm around each of them, she muttered,

  'You were the only bairns I ever had, or ever wanted.' And when they both leant against her and kissed her, she suddenly pushed them away, saying,

  'That's enough slop for one day. But it is an occasion, so pour me out a good drop of me medicine. And there's still some whisky in the bottle. As for you, me lady, it's tea as usual, an' then we'll drink--' She paused now and looked tenderly at them, and, her voice changing, she said softly, 'Aye, I'll drink to you both, Mr and Mrs Smith, Jones, or Robinson.'

  And at this they clung together, and their laughter filled that room of many odours.

  THE END

  Table of Contents

  PART ONE The Child

  PART TWO

  PART THREE