by Amy Clipston
Emma sniffed and wiped away tears as she recalled the next events. When she realized what was happening, she called for Henry through the bathroom door. She was losing an alarming amount of blood, and she asked him to call for an ambulance.
The emergency medical technicians rushed Emma to the hospital, where an exam confirmed the baby was gone. Her womb was empty, and she was no longer going to be a mother. When the doctor told them the devastating news, Emma and Henry sobbed in each other’s arms.
The weeks after losing the baby were the most painful of their marriage. In only a couple of hours, they’d gone from preparing to become parents to praying desperately that God would bless them with another child.
But it never happened. Eventually they packed up the nursery. Henry put the cradle and crib back in the attic, where they stayed for years. Emma gave the clothes she’d made to Urie and Ella, who by then were expecting their third child. She couldn’t bear to keep them.
“All I ever wanted was to give Henry a boppli,” Emma whispered as she massaged the feline’s side, and Hank gave a little meow as if to comfort her. “God, however, never blessed us with that opportunity. He blessed us in many other ways, but I’ve always had a longing for a kind. After I lost the boppli, I blamed myself for a long time. I thought maybe I had done something wrong. For example, if I hadn’t spent so much time on my feet cooking or so many hours sewing, maybe the boppli would have made it. I said that to Henry once, and he insisted I talk to my doctor about it. He confirmed it wasn’t my fault at all. He said sometimes it happens, and there’s nothing we can do. But it’s still difficult to accept, even though I know it’s not my place to question the Lord’s plan.”
“I’m so sorry.” Katie Ann rubbed her arm. “It wasn’t your fault.”
“Danki.” Emma grabbed a napkin from the holder in the center of the table and wiped her eyes. “I was bedauerlich for a very long time afterward. Sometimes I found myself envious of mei freinden and their families, but I knew that was a sin. I had to keep reminding myself of how wunderbaar my life with Henry was.” More tears escaped her eyes, and she swallowed against a swelling knot of emotion clogging her throat. “But now, without children and without Henry, I’m alone.”
“You have us.” Mandy touched Emma’s hand.
“That’s right,” Ephraim chimed in.
“We’re your freinden,” Wayne added. “We’re here for you.”
“Danki,” Emma said, her voice wobbly, hoping she hadn’t embarrassed these young men with her story. But when she looked into their eyes, she saw only compassion. They’d make fine husbands someday.
The cat sat up and purred as he rubbed his head against her arm. She was certain Hank was trying to tell her something.
“You’re here for me too, huh?” Emma smiled despite her tears. “Are you telling me I’m your mamm?”
Hank looked at her and blinked before curling up beside her, resting one paw on her thigh.
“I suppose that means ya.” She rubbed the cat’s ear one more time. “I used to wonder what it would have been like to be a mamm. How many kinner Henry and I might have had and what names we would have chosen. I suppose if we’d had a kind I might be a mammi by now. Now I wonder what that would be like.”
Emma clicked her tongue at Hank. “What would Henry say about you? Would he call me narrisch? Or maybe he’d say I was gegisch.” The tabby purred with his eyes closed. “I suppose it doesn’t matter, does it?”
Hank opened one eye and then closed it. That, apparently, was his only answer.
She shook her head. “You are a precocious kitty, aren’t you?”
“He definitely loves you,” Mandy said. “He’s a nice kitty. I’m froh he found you.”
“He did find me.” Emma swiped her hand across her wet eyes as Henry’s favorite Scripture crossed her mind. It was Romans 15:13: “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”
As Emma silently recited the verse, she remembered the day Henry brought home a special gift for her. It was just two months after they’d lost the baby.
Emma was putting the finishing touches on a quilt a customer had ordered for her daughter’s birthday when she felt as if someone was watching her.
Turning, Emma found Henry standing in the sewing room doorway, and she gasped.
“You startled me!” She gripped her chest and gulped in some air in an effort to catch her breath.
“I’m sorry.” He stepped into the room and sat down in a chair beside hers.
She looked at the clock on the wall and cringed. It was after six. She’d been so engrossed in her project she’d forgotten to make supper.
“I’m sorry. I was working on this and lost track of time.” She placed the quilt on the sewing table and started to stand.
“Sit.” He rested his hand on her arm. “It’s okay. We can make grilled cheese or something else that’s easy.”
“But I promised you beef stroganoff.”
He shook his head and smiled. “We can have that another night.” He turned his attention to the quilt. “That’s the Lone Star pattern you were telling me about at supper last night.” He ran his fingers over the pink, purple, and blue stitches. “It’s schee. You seem to get more talented all the time.”
“Danki.” She shrugged. “It’s one of my better quilts, but it’s not perfect.”
“I think it is.” He met her gaze. “How are you?”
“I’m fine. How are you?”
“Emma.” He cupped his hand to her cheek, a gesture she’d come to love. But today she wasn’t sure she wanted him probing her emotions.
“I want to know how you’re really doing. You’re deflecting my questions and my concern about you. I want to know the truth. How are you coping?”
“I don’t know.” She stared down at her lap and took a deep breath. “Some days are better than others. I try to stay busy so I can’t get too lost in my thoughts. That’s why I forgot to make supper tonight. I keep wondering if there was something I could’ve done to save the boppli. I feel like I failed both of you.” She sniffed and tried to fight back tears.
“Look at me.”
She looked up, and the warmth in his eyes touched her deep in her soul. Her mouth dried.
“You know I love you, right?” His expression was hopeful, as if he were trying to convince her he still cared. “We’re in this together. What happened was out of our control. You know that, right?”
Emma nodded, even though she wasn’t convinced.
“I brought you something.” He lifted a bag she hadn’t noticed was in his hand. “I thought this might help.”
She opened the bag and pulled out a devotional book. “Oh, Henry. It’s schee.”
She opened the cover and read his inscription: To Emma. May this book bring you comfort whenever you need to feel God close to you. I’ll love you always and forever. Henry.
“Danki,” she whispered before pulling Henry into a hug.
“My favorite Scripture verse is in there. I marked it for you. Emma, don’t ever forget how much I love you.” His voice was warm in her ear. “Always and forever, mei liewe.”
“Oh nee,” Katie Ann exclaimed, bringing Emma back to the present. “It’s really getting late. We’d better get going.”
Emma looked at the clock on the mantel. “I’m sorry for keeping you so long, listening to my story.”
“Don’t apologize,” Mandy said. “It’s been fun.” She paused. “And meaningful.”
“We’d better go hitch up the horse.” Ephraim tapped Wayne’s arm.
The boys put on their coats and boots, took up their lanterns and both of Emma’s shovels, and headed outside. The girls insisted on helping Emma clean up while she packed up the cherry bars.
After only a few minutes, Ephraim suddenly called out from the back door.
“We have a problem. We’re snowed in!”
Chapter 6
&n
bsp; We’re snowed in?” Katie Ann spun toward the mudroom.
“What do you mean?”
Ephraim chuckled as he came to the doorway separating the kitchen from the mudroom, snow already covering his coat and boots. “I mean the snow is up to our shins.”
Wayne appeared beside him. “I don’t think we’re going anywhere anytime soon.”
Emma gasped. “It’s come down that much since you arrived?”
“Ya, it has.” Wayne brushed snow off his sleeves.
“Oh nee!” Katie Ann rushed past him. She peered out the window in the back door, but it was too dark to see anything but the shadows of the swaying trees.
Emma and the girls pulled on their coats and boots, and they all stepped onto the porch. Wayne and Ephraim held their lanterns against the wind.
The bitter cold hit Katie Ann’s face like a stinging smack, stealing her breath and filling her eyes with tears as she walked to the top of the steps.
“Watch.” Wayne held up his lantern and walked down to the bottom step. When he stepped onto the path, his long leg sank into the snow, which really did come up to his shin. “It’s deep.” He grinned as he faced the porch. “It’s like a blizzard out here.”
“But look at that.” Katie Ann pointed toward the barn. “It’s also so schee.”
Pristine snow sparkled in the light of the lantern as large flakes continued to twirl toward the ground. Katie Ann blew out a deep breath as she took in the beautiful sight.
“It is schee.” Mandy turned toward Emma, a protective arm still around her shoulders to make sure she didn’t fall on the slippery porch. “Have you ever seen snow like this at Christmas?”
“Nee, not since I was a maedel.” Emma hugged her arms to her chest. “It’s just breathtaking.”
“We’re stranded.” Ephraim climbed down the steps and stood beside Wayne. “There’s nee way we can get home safely tonight.”
“You can stay here.” Emma rubbed her hands over her arms. “You buwe can use my phone in the barn to call all your parents and let them know you’re going to stay until the roads are plowed.”
“Danki.” Katie Ann turned toward her brother. “You’ll call Mamm and Dat?”
“Ya,” Ephraim said. “Are you ready, Wayne? We may need to dig out the barn doors. And we’d better check on the horses too.”
The young men started toward the barn, armed with both their lanterns and shovels.
“Wait!” Mandy called after them, and they whirled around to face her. “You know my parents’ phone number, right?”
“Ya, I know it,” Ephraim called. “Go inside and get warm.”
Katie Ann blinked. Ephraim knew Mandy’s phone number? Was that yet another indication that he liked Mandy and she liked him? She looked at Wayne’s retreating back, wondering what he knew about those two. Was she the only one in the dark?
Emma touched Katie Ann’s and Mandy’s arms, pulling Katie Ann from her suspicions. “They’ll take care of it. Let’s get inside and put on water for hot tea. I think we’ve had enough chocolate and kaffi, but they’re going to be freezing when they come in. I have some decaffeinated tea bags too.”
Emma steered the girls toward the house but then stopped and pointed at Hank, who was standing on his back legs, peeking through the storm door. His eyes darted around with interest.
“Do you think he wants to come out and play in the snow? Or, uh, just needs to come out again?” Katie Ann asked.
“Nee, I think he’s wondering why we’re out here in the cold while he’s inside where it’s warm,” Mandy retorted with a chuckle.
“Move away from the door.” Emma waved her fingers at the cat. “It’s cold out here. You need to step back. You don’t want to be out in the snow if you don’t have to be, Hank. Go on, kitty. Shoo!”
Emma laughed. “Oh, how funny. Earlier today when I first found him sitting on the porch, I tried to shoo him away from mei haus. Now I’m trying to keep him inside, where he’s warm and safe. Isn’t it narrisch how my feelings toward this cat have changed since this afternoon?” She tapped on the door. “You’ve just moved in, haven’t you?”
Katie Ann laughed too, enjoying the happiness glowing on Emma’s face.
The cat hopped away from the door and trotted through the mudroom toward the kitchen, and Emma entered the house with Katie Ann and Mandy following close behind. They all hung up their coats, took off their boots, and stepped into the kitchen.
“I’ll put on the hot water.” Mandy grabbed the kettle and started filling it.
“I’ll get back to washing the dishes.” Katie Ann returned to her soapy water. As she worked, Emma divided the remaining cherry bars into the three containers.
Then Emma laughed again, and Katie Ann glanced down to where Hank walked circles around Emma’s legs while rubbing his head against them.
“That cat really loves you.” Katie Ann smiled. “He’s chosen you as his owner.”
Emma leaned down and scratched Hank behind one ear. “He has. And he’s already stolen my heart.”
The women had the kitchen cleaned by the time they heard Ephraim and Wayne return from the barn. Their hats, coats, gloves, and trousers were all caked in snow, even though Emma was sure they’d shaken off as much as they could on the porch. And the snow had obviously seeped into their boots, soaking their socks and feet.
“Oh dear!” she exclaimed as she hurried toward them. “You must be frozen to the bone! I’ll get you towels.”
“I’ll get them,” Mandy offered. “Where are they?”
Emma explained where the linen closet was and Mandy rushed off.
Katie Ann stood in the kitchen doorway as she took in the snow-covered boys. “Is it still snowing that much?”
“Ya, it is. It hasn’t let up at all.” Ephraim shivered. His nose and cheeks were red.
Katie Ann looked out the back door and shook her head. “It’s like a winter wonderland out there.”
Mandy returned with several towels. “Here you go.”
“Danki,” the boys said, first one and then the other.
“I left a message for your parents,” Ephraim told Mandy as he pulled off his boots and socks. “I explained we’re going to stay here for the night.”
“Danki.”
“I’ll go get you some of Henry’s clothes to wear.” Emma hurried through the kitchen to the hallway.
“She is so nice,” Mandy commented after Emma left. “I’m so glad we came to visit her tonight.”
“Ya,” Katie Ann agreed. “We’ll have to come see her again soon.”
“I wonder how long we’ll be here. It’s going to take a while to get the roads cleared tomorrow, especially on Christmas Day,” Ephraim said. “This storm is bad.”
“I don’t remember ever seeing snow get so deep so quickly,” Wayne added. “I guess this is what a true snowstorm is like.”
When she heard footsteps, Katie Ann whirled toward Emma. “There you are. I’m so glad you have some clothes Ephraim and Wayne can wear.”
“Ya. I brought thick socks and some trousers. Henry was about your height, but he was very skinny toward the end.”
Emma paused and her expression clouded as she handed the clothes to the boys. “I hope these fit well enough. I brought a couple of extra sweaters too. The bathroom is down the hallway to the right. Bring out your wet clothes, and I’ll hang them in the laundry room.”
Sorrow tugged at Katie Ann’s heart. Emma looked so sad.
“Danki.” Wayne headed toward the bathroom. “I’ll go first.”
“Let’s make some hot tea for you, Ephraim. That will warm you up.” Mandy headed back toward the stove.
Ephraim hugged a towel to his chest and shivered again. “That sounds great.”
Mandy made Ephraim a mug of tea and brought it to him in the mudroom.
“Danki.” He sank down onto the bench and patted the spot beside him. “Sit with me.”
“Ya, of course.” Mandy’s porcelain cheeks flushed bright pink
as she sank down beside him.
Emma touched Katie Ann’s arm. “Why don’t we make four more mugs of tea and take them into the schtupp?”
Understanding flashed through Katie Ann’s mind. She and Emma needed to give Ephraim and Mandy some time alone. “Oh, ya. I’ll get the mugs.”
Emma and Katie Ann carried the drinks into the family room, where they set them on the coffee table. Emma added another log to the fire.
After both Ephraim and Wayne were dressed, Katie Ann helped Emma hang their wet clothes on the line in the laundry room before they joined the others in the family room. Emma sat in the same chair she’d been in before, and Katie Ann sat in the rocker. Wayne sat beside her on the footstool, and Ephraim sat on the sofa.
“Why don’t we sing carols before we turn in?” Mandy suggested as she sat down on the sofa beside Ephraim.
“That’s a great idea.” Katie Ann rocked back and forth in her chair. “How about ‘Silent Night’?”
“Perfect.” Mandy cleared her throat. “All right. One, two, three . . .”
The young people sang “Silent Night” in perfect harmony while the fire in the fireplace crackled and popped as if it were their musical accompaniment. Emma started to sing along with them, but then she stopped. Concern filled Katie Ann as she watched Emma’s expression falter into yet another frown. Was the music making Emma sad instead of brightening her Christmas? She prayed they were helping Emma cope with the holiday, not making her even sadder.
As they sang, Hank sauntered into the room and stood at Emma’s feet. Emma patted the chair beside her, but he leaped into her lap and curled up on her thighs before closing his eyes. Emma stared at Hank for a moment before she began to stroke his head.
“Frehlicher Grischtdaag!” Katie Ann said when the song came to an end. “Should we sing another one?”
“How about ‘Joy to the World’?” Mandy suggested.
“That sounds gut,” Ephraim agreed.
For the next thirty minutes, between sips of tea, they sang. After “Joy to the World,” they moved to “O Little Town of Bethlehem,” “Hark! the Herald Angels Sing,” “The First Noel,” and then “O Holy Night.” Emma never stopped stroking the cat as she was serenaded.