Keeping Secrets & Telling Lies

by Trice Hickman

  Debbie shook her head. “He just thinks that since I turned forty, I’m trying to reinvent myself. He doesn’t really care for my new look, but he said if this is what makes me happy ...”

  Victoria put her fork down and gently wiped the corners of her mouth with her napkin. She’d been trying to reserve comment, but now she had to tell Debbie exactly what was on her mind. “Debbie, I think you’re making a huge mistake.”

  Debbie’s smile dropped into a frown. “See, something told me to just keep this good news to myself.”

  “Good news?” Victoria gulped. “Is that what you think this is? Cheating on your husband and jeopardizing your marriage and your family ... that’s what you call good news?”

  Debbie sat on the edge of her chair. “I thought you’d be the one person who would understand what it means to find real passion, but I see that I was wrong. Stop judging me,Victoria.”

  Victoria softened her eyes. “Debbie, I’m not trying to judge you. I just want you to see what’s at stake and realize what you’re doing.”

  Debbie shook her head. “Forget it.You don’t understand.”

  “Then help me to,” Victoria countered, trying to keep her voice low. “I want to hear what’s so great about this guy that has you sneaking off to hotels in the middle of the day, while your son is at school and your husband is hard at work, trying to provide a comfortable life for you.”

  Debbie put her hand to her head. “That’s just it. It’s all so comfortable ... too comfortable. After Brandon was born, Rob and I eased into a routine that became predictable and boring. We used to take long walks in the park, hold hands at the movies, and spend hours making love. But little by little it all stopped. Now Rob spends most of his time at the office, and when he’s home, it’s like he’s not really there, not fully engaged. Although I have to say, he does make time for Brandon. But as far as the two of us is concerned, the spark is gone.”

  Victoria listened as Debbie went on. “When I met Stan, there was instant chemistry between us. He’s handsome and exciting, and he looks at me like no other man ever has. A couple of weeks ago he told me that I had a hidden beauty that was bursting at the seams, waiting to be freed. The next week he took me shopping, made a hair appointment for me, and basically put together my makeover.” She beamed.

  Victoria held her tongue as their server approached the table, sitting Debbie’s decadent tiramisu in front of her.Victoria had forgone dessert, a first for her. This was a rare occasion that had stolen her appetite. She concentrated on her words, choosing them carefully, because she wanted to say the right thing. “From what you’ve told me about this guy ...”

  “Stan,” Debbie interjected.

  “Excuse me, Stan ... I still think you’re making a big mistake, and it’s not just because you’re having an affair. Frankly, there are plenty of marriages that suffer affairs and still survive. I think this is a mistake because this guy—excuse me, Stan—is trying to change you into someone you’re not,” Victoria said, taking a deep breath. “I listened to everything you said, and speaking as a sister who dearly loves you, I don’t like what I’m hearing.”

  “Why?”

  “Debbie, he’s got you painting sunsets and baskets of fruit, instead of the geometric abstracts you love. He has you wearing heels that you can barely walk in, instead of your comfortable Birkenstocks.You even said that your new wardrobe has to grow on you,” Victoria pointed out. “And now you’re thinking about going back to the university to teach, when that was the very thing that burned you out and drove you to become a freelance artist in the first place.” Victoria leaned in close. “Debbie, you were fine just the way you were.”

  Debbie looked up at the ceiling, totally exasperated. “But I wasn’t fine the way I was. I felt like I was dying, Victoria. And, Stan ... he makes me feel alive. Do you know what it’s like to have someone literally wake you up from the dead?” she nearly pleaded, raising her voice.

  “Debbie, calm down.”

  “You don’t understand. You’ve got a handsome husband who bangs your brains out and shows you open affection. You’re tall and beautiful, and men drool all over you when you walk into a room.You don’t know what it’s like to feel undesirable, but I do. And right or wrong, Stan makes me feel desired and wanted and full.”

  Victoria sat back in her chair, taking in Debbie’s words. She never knew her friend felt that way. She’d always seen Debbie as a confident, kiss-my-ass kind of woman who marched to the music playing inside her own head, the rest of the world be damned. She had her own quirky style and a genuine authenticity that made her one of the most sincere and honest people Victoria knew. Debbie’s revelation about how she viewed herself was almost as startling as her admission about having an affair. “Have you talked to Rob about how you feel?” she asked.

  “Yes, and it didn’t do any good. He’s oblivious.”

  Victoria looked her friend squarely in the eyes. “So, where are you going with this? Where do you want this to lead?”

  “Victoria, I honestly don’t know.”

  “Well, you better start thinking about it, because, girl, you’re playin’ with fire.”

  “We’re being careful.”

  Victoria shook her head. “All it takes is one small slip. Regardless of how oblivious you think Rob is, you know, just like I do, that even though he’s a good-natured guy, he’s got a little edge. If he finds out you’re cheating on him, he’ll put his tae kwon do lessons to use and kick some ass. The only question is, will it be yours or Stan’s?”

  “I told you, Stan and I are being very careful. We’ve stopped meeting in the city.We found a place that’s a few miles outside of town. It’s remote and secluded. Besides, Stan has just as much to lose as I do. He told me that if his wife finds out, she’ll surely take his children away from him.”

  Victoria’s eyes bucked wide. “He’s married, with kids?”

  “Uh-huh.”

  “Now you have two people to dodge. Women have great intuition about these kinds of things.What if his wife is already suspicious? She could be tailing him, for all you know. If you get caught, you’ll have another person ready to jump in your shit,” Victoria said, trying to keep her voice low.

  “This is something I have to do for me.You’re sitting there judging me, thinking, why would I cheat on Rob? I know he’s a good person and that he loves Brandon and me. But sometimes you need more than just love to keep you going. Do you know what it’s like to find yourself drawn to another person who gives you that missing piece? Who electrifies you with just the sound of his voice? Who makes you want to be with him even when you know you damn well shouldn’t be?” Debbie sighed, returning Victoria’s intense stare. “No.” She shrugged. “You don’t know anything about that.”

  Victoria shook her head, feeling her nose grow a full two inches as she thought about Parker’s business card sitting at the bottom of her handbag. All she could do was say a silent prayer for her friend, along with one for herself.

  Later that night, after Victoria tucked Alexandria into bed, she thought about her dinner conversation with Debbie. It had been disturbing on many levels, not only because she felt that her friend was making a potentially life-altering mistake, but also because of what it signaled.

  In Victoria’s mind, Debbie and Rob were the epitome of what a happy marriage was supposed to be. They perfectly balanced each other’s personalities. His stable, conservative demeanor tempered her unpredictable, wild one. If their solid union was now teetering on the brink of disaster, she knew it was very possible that the waters ahead could prove to be choppy for her as well.

  Ready to cap off her long day, Victoria drew herself a hot bath to soothe her tired body and mind. She lit two lavender-scented soy candles, then sank down into the fluffy white bubbles as she relaxed in her Jacuzzi tub. She analyzed her actions, thinking about why she hadn’t admitted the truth to Debbie—the truth that she understood how another man could capture her heart and make her think about throwing
all caution to the wind just to be with him. She wondered why she couldn’t bring herself to tell Debbie that Parker made her feel that way, too.

  Victoria rested her back against the tub, feeling still and numb. She knew she couldn’t admit those things to Debbie, because if she did, it would only be a matter of time before she found herself walking in her friend’s troubled shoes.

  Strange and Unsettling ...

  Ted watched the people hurrying to and from their cars in the crowded parking lot several stories below. He was standing at the window in his mother’s dimly lit private hospital room, wondering what medical tragedy had brought the visitors to the same place where he now stood. Had they come to grieve a loved one, as he was doing, or had they received good news, allowing them to leave with peace of mind?

  He dug his hands deep into the pockets of his khakis, trying to make sense of the last twenty-four hours. He’d been poring over production reports when the call from his sister, Lilly, came just yesterday.

  The last few months had been particularly busy for him. Ever since he and Larmar Williams, his 50 percent partner in the company, had decided to take ViaTech public next spring, things had been moving at a rapid speed. He’d been traveling the country, meeting with potential shareholders and company executives at their six remote locations, making sure their numbers were primed and ready for inspection.

  It was challenging to run a multimillion-dollar company, manage his various real estate investments, and find time to spend with his wife and child. Some days were exhausting, others were exhilarating, but none had ever felt like the last few hours—strange and unsettling.

  Ted walked from the window and sat in the stiff vinyl-covered chair beside his mother’s bed. Waiting was the hardest part. He knew he had to stay busy, so he finished his copy of the Wall Street Journal, responded to several e-mails on his laptop, then made a few phone calls. An hour later the sun had faded into night. His sister had already gone home to her family, leaving him and his mother alone.

  Carolyn had not awoken since seeing him earlier that morning, and now Ted was wondering if he’d ever see his mother’s eyes staring into his again or hear her voice one last time. Just as his thoughts were beginning to turn down a dark corner, he heard his name spill from her lips. At first he thought it might be wishful thinking, but when her eyes fluttered and her mouth fought to form a smile, he thanked God for one more chance. Springing from his chair, he moved to her side, taking her frail hand in his as he bent over to get closer.

  “You made it,” Carolyn whispered.

  “Of course I did.” Ted smiled back at his mother, looking at the skin and bones that lay before him. Carolyn had always been a beautifully put together woman, meticulous in her appearance. But as Ted scanned her pale, wrinkled face, looking at her sunken cheekbones and the gray strands sprinkled at the base of her temples, he realized that it was true: the human body was just a shell that wore out over time. The sight of his mother’s listless body almost brought tears to his eyes, but he held them back.

  “Theodore, there’s so much I need to tell you,” she said, struggling to pull her words together.

  Ted shook his head. “Just rest. Don’t strain yourself.”

  “No, you don’t understand.... There are things you must know.”

  The urgency in his mother’s voice made Ted feel more uneasy than witnessing her visibly fragile state, because although her words were barely audible, her intent was direct and serious. He leaned in closer. “What is it, Mother?”

  “I need to tell you about my past.”

  Ted remembered her doctor mentioning that patients could become confused and disoriented, a result of the heavy doses of morphine used to ease their pain and keep them comfortable near the end. He thought that his mother might be experiencing that now. But as he studied her face, he could see that her eyes were locked on his and her expression was as clear and coherent as it had ever been.

  “Theodore,” she breathed, pausing for a short moment, “I’m so proud of you.You’ve been a good son, a good brother, and a good husband and father. I always knew you were the strong one. Now you must use that strength to deal with the truth, with the secret....”

  “Secret? What secret?”

  Carolyn shook her head, casting her eyes toward the window. “I’ll tell you tomorrow. I need to rest now... .”

  And like that, she was out.

  Just as quickly as she’d opened her eyes, Carolyn Thornton had fallen back into a motionless sleep. A full minute went by before Ted realized that he was still hunched over his mother’s bed, holding on tightly to her hand. After standing in a slightly startled haze for another few minutes, he reclaimed his seat in the uncomfortable chair next to her bed. He pondered what had just happened, stunned by his mother’s words. He wanted to dismiss what she’d said as the ramblings of a sick, old woman full of high-powered drugs, but he knew that wasn’t the case. Carolyn had been precise in her delivery, and her tone told him that she’d been in command of her every word.

  After the nurses persuaded him to leave for the night, Ted headed back to his presidential suite at the Ritz-Carlton Hotel. He waited for room service as he unpacked his clothes. He’d brought three suits and several shirts and pairs of pants, knowing he might be there for a week or longer. When the food came, he barely touched his plate. Usually, stressful situations didn’t distract him from eating, sleeping, or carrying on business as usual. He was as steady as steel. But this wasn’t business as usual; this was his mother, the woman he’d loved all his life. He was about to lose her, and he knew there was absolutely nothing he could do.

  After he called room service to retrieve his mostly untouched food, Ted replayed the strange conversation he’d had with his mother. He didn’t know what to make of it. What secret had she been keeping? Various scenarios ran through his mind, from the possibility that he or one of his siblings might have been adopted to the far-fetched notion that his mother had been leading some sort of mysterious double life.

  Finally, he decided that he couldn’t let his mind wander off into faraway places. Not at a time when he needed to be focused on more immediate things, like going over the arrangements with the funeral home director tomorrow morning, making sure that his sister didn’t fall apart in the process, warding off his predatory brother from his mother’s estate, and making sure that Victoria and Alexandria were safe and happy.

  The mounting pressure, coupled with his hectic day, was enough to make him fall asleep, but not before he spoke to Victoria one last time before the day ended. It was eleven o’clock, and knowing his wife the way he did, Ted knew that she was probably wide awake, waiting for his call.

  He dialed the number, and she picked up on the first ring.

  “How are you?” she asked.

  “I’m fine. Back at the hotel, getting ready to turn in. Did you and Debbie have a good time at dinner?”

  “Uh, yeah,” Victoria answered tentatively.

  Ted heard her hesitation. “What’s wrong? Is she okay?”

  Victoria knew that she couldn’t reveal what she and Debbie had discussed during dinner. That admission would just open up a can of worms. “Oh, she’s fine and crazy as ever. We had a great time. I’m just a little tired.... How’s your mother?” she asked, more than ready to change the subject.

  Ted told Victoria about the strange conversation he’d had with his mother just hours before. “I’m sure she knew exactly what she was saying. It wasn’t the rantings of a delusional, dying cancer patient. It was real,V.”

  Victoria sat up in bed, apparently just as confused and shocked as Ted. “Did she give you any indication about what kind of secret she’s been keeping?”

  “No, just that it has something to do with her past.”

  Victoria thought about the conversation she’d had with Denise earlier that day, remembering that, ironically, they’d talked about the fact that Carolyn had never mentioned anything about her past. It was as if her life had only begun when she
moved to Boston all those years ago. “I wish you could find a relative or someone who knew your mother when she was a young girl growing up in Louisiana. That way you could talk to them about her past, especially since she may not be able to tell you herself.... I mean, do you really think she’ll make it through the night?” It was a question Victoria hated to ask, but she knew she had to put it on the table.

  Ted rubbed his tired eyes, shaking his head on the other end of the line. “My mother’s a tough old bird. If there’s something she wants to tell me, she’ll hang on until she gets it out.”

  “I pray that you’re right.”

  Ted prayed that he was right, too. “How’s Alexandria?” he asked.

  “She’s fine. Just misses her daddy,” Victoria said, knowing it would make Ted smile. “I called Susan and told her about what’s going on, and she offered to let Alexandria stay over with Claudia this weekend. She said she’d pick her up from camp tomorrow afternoon, and that’s a blessing, because it frees me up to deal with Gigi’s rehearsal dinner and the wedding on Saturday.”

  Ted had been looking for a way to get out of making an appearance at Gigi Howard’s wedding, but the death of his mother wasn’t the excuse he wanted. Nevertheless, he was glad that he didn’t have to attend.

  Gigi was Victoria’s friend from their college days, and she’d briefly tried to pursue him before he and Victoria married. He’d never told Victoria about the succession of phone calls that Gigi had made to him after they met at Tyler’s YFI Christmas fund-raiser, nor had he ever mentioned the e-mail invitations to dinner she’d sent him for several months that followed. Although he thought Gigi was a treat for the eye,Victoria had been his only focus, and every other woman paled in comparison.

  “Good luck with the wedding,” Ted sighed through the phone. “You’ll need it with Gigi.”

  “Don’t I know it. I just hope she behaves and that she and Gary don’t cause a scene. The news crews will be lined up, primed and ready to capture their madness on film.”