Keeping Secrets & Telling Lies

by Trice Hickman

  Debbie remained silent, taking in Victoria’s words. And Victoria was silent, hoping that she’d broken through.

  Debbie shook her head and lowered her voice. “Oh,Victoria. . . what am I thinking? I don’t know what to do.”

  “Debbie ...”

  “This is so hard for me, and I feel so guilty. I just want to get it off my chest,” Debbie said, letting out a deep breath.

  “Go to confession. Do some volunteer work, or donate to a charity. Do whatever it takes to make you feel better, but, Debbie, please don’t tell Rob that you had an affair.”

  “Victoria, I’m so glad I talked to you about this. I don’t know what I’d do without you. You’re the only real friend I trust.”

  “I’m always gonna be here for you, no matter the situation.”

  Debbie nodded. “Thanks for sticking by me through all my craziness.”

  “You’ve done the same for me. I’m just returning the favor. I want you to be happy.”

  They settled into a moment of silence, each reflecting on their own personal dramas.

  “So, what about your situation?” Debbie finally asked.

  “What situation?”

  “Your situation with Parker.”

  Victoria stopped pacing the deck and looked around, as though everyone inside could suddenly hear her conversation. She swallowed hard, her throat instantly feeling parched and dry at the mention of Parker’s name. “I don’t have a situation with him.”

  Debbie gave a little smirk on the other end. “I was shocked when I saw him at the wedding. He tried to make casual conversation with me during the reception, and he purposely told me that he hadn’t seen you in a long time, but now, after all these years, it was ironic that he’d run into you three times in one week. He said it because he knew I’d come back and tell you.”

  “He told you that?”

  “Yeah. Now my question is, why didn’t you? You never mentioned a word about him when we had dinner.”

  Victoria ran her fingers through her hair, which was beginning to frizz in the summer heat, giving her a slightly wild and sexy look. “Number one, you’d just dropped the news on me about you and Stan, so that was the major focus of our conversation. And number two, Parker,” she whispered in a low voice, “obviously isn’t important enough to bring up.”

  “I know I can be pretty green about some things, like confessing to Rob about what I’ve done. But,Victoria, please don’t tell me that seeing Parker again didn’t warrant some kind of discussion.”

  “It was no big deal. He’s a part of my past.”

  “I saw the way he looked at you, and believe me, it’s a big deal.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  Debbie’s voice rose. “I watched him, Victoria. His eyes lit up when he saw you. It’s obvious that he’s still in love with you.”

  Victoria couldn’t say anything. She remembered Parker’s stare, and it had made her feel warm, tingly, and dangerously afraid. She’d looked at him, too, trying to convince herself that the thoughts she was having about him didn’t amount to anything, that she was simply reaching back for a memory. But deep in her heart she’d known that wasn’t true.

  “Didn’t you notice him looking at you?” Debbie asked.

  Reluctantly,Victoria answered, “Yes.”

  “And you weren’t the least bit affected by him?”

  Victoria sat down on one of the patio chairs to collect her thoughts. “Okay, I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t think he looked good, because he did.”

  “Fine, to be exact.” Debbie grinned through the phone.

  “Okay, yes, he looked fine as hell.” Victoria giggled slightly. “But I know fire when I see it, and I don’t have to smell smoke to know that any involvement with Parker could burn my ass.”

  “So you were tempted?”

  “Why are we talking about this?”

  “Because I don’t want you to make the same mistake I made.”

  Victoria huffed. “You’ve got to be kidding.”

  There was a pregnant pause; then Debbie spoke in a serious tone. “I know that you and Ted have a wonderful marriage, and that you two love each other very much. But I saw the way Parker looked at you, and honestly, I saw the way you looked at him, too.You have a history together, so I’m giving you advice just like you gave me. Be careful.”

  Victoria knew that she was as transparent as glass, so she decided she might as well come out with the truth. “All right, I admit it. I’ve been thinking about Parker ever since I saw him last week. I don’t know why. I guess it’s just lingering feelings from when we were together. But trust me, I’m not gonna do anything to jeopardize my marriage.”

  “Victoria, I can’t help worrying, because I know what I saw between the two of you, and I know firsthand how easy it is to land yourself in a compromising situation and end up doing things you never thought you’d do.”

  Damn, Debbie’s right! Victoria knew there was a very real possibility that she could end up in a world of trouble just by thinking about Parker Brightwood.That was why she was determined to stay as far away from him as she could. “I hear what you’re saying.”

  They talked for a few minutes longer. Debbie continued to warn Victoria about what could happen if she wasn’t careful, and Victoria tried to take in the fact that it was Debbie who had the level head in their conversation this time around.

  As the two friends ended their call, the same problematic thought ran through both their minds—that the other was still in for a rocky ride ahead.

  Instead of going back inside,Victoria sat on the deck, trying to push her conversation with Debbie out of her mind. With all she had going on at the moment, she didn’t want to take on another emotional task. But try as she might, she kept hearing her friend’s words in her ears. Be careful.

  She looked out at Lilly’s beautifully landscaped backyard, with its perfectly manicured shrubs, neatly lined flower beds, and fresh cut grass. Her eyes focused on a creepy-looking spider that had crawled atop a delicate yellow flower. A cold sensation ran down Victoria’s spine, because she knew that just like with that flower, danger often lurked in beautiful places.

  Her troubled thoughts were replaced by a smile when she looked up and saw Alexandria burst through the back door, bubbling with excitement. “Mommy, look what Aunt Lilly got me,” she said, running up to Victoria with a brand-new baby doll.

  Victoria returned her daughter’s smile, happy to see that Alexandria was having a good time. It gave her temporary peace of mind to know that in the midst of all the sadness and confusion, Alexandria was protected by her youthful innocence.

  Just then, Ted came outside to join them. “There you two are,” he said, walking up to the side of Victoria’s chair.

  “Look, Daddy! Look at what Aunt Lilly got me.” Alexandria was all too happy to show her father her newest, and now most prized, cocoa-colored doll.

  “That’s nice, princess.” Ted nodded, giving her a slightly uncomfortable smile. “I think we should head back to the hotel,” he said, looking to Victoria.

  She could see a significant change in his mood. “Is everything okay?” Victoria asked.

  “Everything’s fine. I just think we should go so we can rest and change before the wake this evening.”

  Victoria sensed that something more was at play, judging by the urgency of Ted’s tone and body language. But she knew he had a lot on his mind, so she resisted the urge to ask more questions, which was something she was prone to do. She had to remind herself of the conversation she and her mother had had the day before. Just be there for him.

  Ted held Victoria’s hand as she and Alexandria followed him back inside. When they walked through the living room, she noticed a decidedly strange tension in the air, different from the subtle disapproval his relatives had cast upon her earlier. I wonder if these nosy busybodies overheard my conversation? Victoria thought to herself, paranoid about her phone call with Debbie. As they moved through the room, t
he same disapproving individuals who had met her with hard stares when she first arrived now looked down at their feet, as if searching for change they’d dropped on the floor.

  On their way out the door she noticed that Ted said good-bye only to a few of his relatives, while there were others whom he walked by without parting his lips, as if they weren’t even in the room. She made a mental note of those he avoided, and she suddenly understood the meaning of his actions and the reason for the tension.

  I Do a Lot of Things. Be Specific ... ?

  After they returned to the hotel, Victoria helped Alexandria settle in with her new baby doll. The thing that held her attention the most was the Dora the Explorer cartoon playing on TV. Victoria was glad that her daughter seemed to be handling the wave of activity swirling around her.

  Once she made sure that Alexandria was sufficiently occupied, Victoria returned to their bedroom, where she found Ted fresh from the shower, about to change into a stylish black suit. He was getting dressed, preparing for his mother’s wake, which was to take place in a few hours. He, Lilly, and Charlie had agreed to meet early at the funeral home so they could discuss and finalize the details of their mother’s burial. He paused when Victoria entered the room.

  “You look tired,” he said, taking a long look at her.

  “And you look very handsome.” She smiled, walking over to take a seat on the edge of the bed. She watched Ted as he fashioned a Windsor knot in his necktie, and wondered what was really going on in his mind.

  Ted blushed at her compliment, something only Victoria could make him do. “Thanks.” He smiled.

  She leaned back on her elbows, relaxing her body. “So ... what did your relatives say about you being married to a black woman? I saw the looks a few of them shot my way, and they were the same ones you intentionally ignored when we were leaving. What did they say to you?” Victoria asked.

  Ted knew this conversation was coming, and he was ready to entertain it. Unlike other times, when he chose not to engage the ignorance of narrow-minded people, he was pissed by the reaction he’d received from several of his relatives, especially the ones whom he had once been close to. He hadn’t seen many of them in years, and now, given their hostile attitudes, he didn’t care if he ever laid eyes on them again.

  He knew they’d speculated and gossiped behind his back about his marriage to Victoria, and that it had been the reason some had refused to attend his wedding. His mother had told him as much when they were compiling names for the guest list.

  When Ted first entered his sister’s house and scoped out the slew of relatives gathered inside, he’d been tempted to walk up to each of them who’d been vocally critical of his marriage and tell them to go straight to hell. But he knew that a family gathering during a time of mourning wasn’t the proper time or place for that type of confrontation. Still, he was pissed, and everyone who knew him knew it! His cool, smooth comportment was legendary, but so was his no-nonsense and sometimes ruthless side, a trait he’d inherited from his father.

  So for the sake of appearance and civility, all the Thorntons in the room had tried to get along. But when Ted’s cousin Ronald, a notoriously well-known jerk, pulled him to the side, that was when the dominoes fell.

  Ronald’s and Ted’s fathers had been brothers. Ronald was only a year older than Ted and had always been in competition with his father’s favorite nephew, who the rest of the family also adored. Ted was the Thornton golden boy.

  “Why’d you do it?” Ronald asked, looking at Ted as if he had committed treason.

  Ted stood nearly five inches above Ronald’s head, looking over his bald spot and down into his bright blue eyes. “I do a lot of things. Be specific,” Ted responded. He’d seen Victoria step out on the back deck after she answered her phone, and he was glad that Alexandria had left with his sister only minutes before. He knew things could get ugly, and he didn’t want either of them to witness the scene.

  Ronald could see the anger building in Ted’s veins, but he didn’t back down. “After you got rid of that gold digger you were married to, you could’ve had your pick, but you chose—”

  “Exactly who I wanted,” Ted threw back, cutting him off. He uncrossed his arms, letting them hang at his sides, and it made Ronald stand at attention. “Ron, you better stop while you’re ahead, because if you say one more word about my wife, I promise you’ll end up lying beside my mother before the end of the day.”

  Ted delivered his words with an authority and loud bass in his voice that made the hair stand up on the back of Ronald’s neck. For a moment, everyone and everything stood still with tension. The roomful of nosy cousins and family friends pretended to look the other way, busying themselves with imaginary tasks, all the while waiting to see what was going to happen next.

  By this time, Ted’s good friend Barry, who’d flown in from Los Angeles, stepped in to diffuse the escalating tension. Barry and Ted had been friends from their prep school days at an elite all-boys school through their graduation from business school at Harvard. Barry knew Ted well, and he could see that the situation was headed downhill fast. “C’mon guys. Let’s calm it down,” he urged.

  Both Ronald and Ted ignored Barry’s plea.

  “Hey, buddy ... hold on,” Ronald foolishly continued. “She’s a real looker, beautiful in fact. But, Ted ...”

  Ted’s French vanilla skin turned cherry red. “Say one more word about my wife, just one more,” he threatened. “You must want me to kick your ass.”

  “Hey, hey,” Barry said, intervening again. He gave Ted a friendly pat on the back, trying to calm him down. He knew that if his friend was mad enough to physically threaten someone, especially in a room full of witnesses, he wasn’t bluffing. Barry could see that cousin Ronald was getting ready to receive an ass kicking that he and the rest of the Thornton family would never forget. “Ronald, this is wrong. Just shut your damn mouth,” Barry advised.

  Ronald was getting ready to open his mouth again, but two things stopped him. The first was Ted’s stance, a position similar to that of a man preparing to land a blow. And the second was Ted’s precious little daughter, who had just walked through the front door, hand in hand with her aunt.

  Now, standing in the present and thinking back on the situation, Ted’s blood boiled all over again. He looked at his beautiful wife, reclining on the bed, staring back at him with loving eyes. He knew that half of Ronald’s comments were rooted in prejudice, but the other half were steeped in envy. He’d seen the hidden fantasy behind his cousin’s eyes when Victoria walked past him on her way out to Lilly’s patio. It was a look he’d seen many times on the faces of many men, including his dear friend Barry. But he forgave it because he understood it.

  Ted wondered whether, if Barry knew his truth, it would create a shift in their friendship. He knew it would change many of his relationships, especially within his family, and perhaps even with his own wife. It had already changed something inside of him.

  Ted took a deep breath and answered Victoria’s question. “Ninety percent of my family loves you, V,” he said, speaking the truth. “What you experienced today was the ten percent who no one gives a damn about, least of all me.”

  “I guess it’s no different from some of my cousins, who talked about me marrying that white boy,” Victoria said, shrugging her shoulders.

  Ted chuckled. “Correction. As Tyler says, that cool-ass white boy.”

  They both laughed. It was the first laugh they’d shared together in almost a week. At that moment, Ted wanted nothing more than to crawl onto the bed and lie beside Victoria. He didn’t want to think about burials, disputes over wills, or secret revelations. But he knew he had obligations that required his attention, so he prepared to face them.

  After he finished dressing,Victoria walked him to the door. He reached for her hand and squeezed it. “I’ll see you and Alexandria in a few hours.”

  “All right. Be safe.” Victoria watched as Ted walked down the hallway before disappearing aro
und the corner. She had wanted to bring up the topic of his mother’s safe-deposit box again, but since they’d ended their conversation with laughter, she decided to table that discussion for now.

  Ted walked to the elevator and stepped inside. He rode down to the lobby, with what seemed like a gigantic boulder pressing on each of his shoulders. As he entered the lobby and waited for the valet to bring his rental car around, he prayed the evening ahead would be quiet and smooth. But like the shock he received yesterday, he had a feeling that it was going to be turbulent.

  Grown Folks’ Business ...

  Victoria and Alexandria were in the backseat of a yellow cab, on their way to Carolyn’s wake. They were running behind schedule, but Victoria didn’t mind arriving a little late, because she wasn’t exactly thrilled about having to bring Alexandria in the first place. Death and funerals were hard enough on adults, so she could only imagine the impact the wake might have on a five-year-old. But she didn’t have babysitting options, so she was left with no other choice than to bring Alexandria along.

  As they sped through traffic, she decided to give Tyler a call. She was preparing to leave a message when he picked up on the fourth ring. She was glad to hear her best friend’s voice.

  “I’m sure it’s really tough on him. He’ll be in a bad place for a while,” Tyler said as he talked to Victoria about Ted’s state of mind. “Give him time. He’ll be okay.”

  “I know. I just feel like there’s something else that’s wrong. Like it’s more than grief,” Victoria said. She was glad that Alexandria was too engrossed in looking out the window at the new and unfamiliar landscape to pay attention to her conversation. It was another reason why she was thankful to have a curious child.

  “This is new for you, because it’s the first time you’ve seen Ted deal with something this devastating,” Tyler sighed. “Believe me, losing someone you love can take its toll, and everyone handles it differently.”