Rock the Cradle: An Mpreg Romance (Silver Oak Medical Center Book 6)

by Aiden Bates

  Mama went back up to Dad's room. How awful must it be to sit there, with a man she knew had wronged her so badly? She went, though, and she seemed to go willingly enough. That was tradition. Maybe she'd willingly give her place up to Veronica. Maybe she wouldn't. Mama wouldn't say. She liked to keep her drama close to the vest.

  Ayla followed Alex back to his office. A little knot formed in Alex’s stomach. Was she really going to attack him in his workplace? Couldn't she just let him work in peace?

  She closed the door behind them. "Rough day."

  "I wasn't surprised by the diagnosis. Still hurt hearing it out loud." He sat down behind his desk. "What's on your mind?"

  Ayla sat on the edge of her chair, one leg crossed over the other. "Don't you think you were a little hypocritical back there?"

  Alex blinked. "I'll give you a minute to explain that."

  Ayla scoffed. "You really don't know what I'm talking about? You're sitting there criticizing Dad for hiding Veronica away and not wanting anyone to know about her, but how is that even the slightest bit different from what you're doing to Derek?"

  Alex gaped. He worked his jaw for a minute. "Okay, that came from out of nowhere. First of all, Derek isn't looking for forever."

  Ayla waved a hand. "Derek doesn't know how to look for forever. He doesn't think he can have the same kind of forever other people do. You have no idea what his home life was like."

  "I know it wasn't good. I know his dad killed his mom. That doesn't mean he can't have a family if he wants it." Alex leaned his head on one hand. Between the earlier meeting, and now this attack from Ayla, he was getting a headache. "Have you seen him? He's gorgeous. He certainly doesn't have to settle."

  "Alex, if his own mother couldn't be bothered to pick him up from school until well past dark, why would he expect anyone else to care?" She curled her lip at him. "You're treating him exactly the same way every other man in his life has treated him, every other person in his life has treated him, and frankly he's lost hope."

  Alex gripped the armrests on his chair. "Look. That sounds sad. It does. I'd love to help. I just—I don't see it, you know? He's the most well-adjusted guy I know. He's so relaxed about everything. Is there a scared and traumatized teenager who needs help? Awesome, he's got space and patience to bring her back to the world like that." He snapped his fingers. "Someone trying to kill him? Sure, that's a bummer, but he can take it in stride while keeping a smile on his face.

  "If he were really pining away for love, like you're saying, don't you think he'd be a little more, I don't know, piney about it? He doesn't seem to be hurting. He's just receptive to whatever someone has to offer."

  "Because he doesn't think he deserves better!" Ayla threw her hands up. "Do you honestly not see him as a person?"

  "I see him as a person. I see him as complete, competent person who doesn't need his hand held all the time." Alex scowled at his sister. "Why is it that you insist on seeing him as some kind of wounded infant who needs someone to swoop in and solve all of his problems for him?"

  "Wow. Dad sure as hell did some damage to you, didn't he?" Ayla sat back and sneered at him.

  "Ayla, Dad has a medical problem. You didn't know him before." Alex gritted his teeth.

  "No no no." She wagged her finger. "People only noticed the behavior when they saw he was acting out against his 'good' family, his play family. And I'm proud of you for noticing, I am. He can get the help he needs, which is great. But Alex, man, when did a guy needing love or companionship become a wounded infant?" She stood up. "He was treating Mom like crap for a while before he decided he was going to start a new family with Veronica, and even before the whole FTD thing he didn't give much of a crap about how other people felt, did he?"

  "Derek's got a lot on his plate, I've got a lot on mine. Sometimes men don't want or need to do the whole True Love Always thing. Sometimes they just want to get a few things out of their systems. Derek and I are fine. We've got a good understanding with each other."

  "Does he know that?" Ayla headed for the door. "Look. You need to talk to him. Assuming, of course, you care. Right now, I get the sense that's a faulty assumption. Just remember, he could get a job anywhere in the country."

  Ayla left, and Alex steamed. Who the hell was she to sit there and tell him what to do with his—well, okay, not boyfriend. But with Derek, anyway? Ayla wasn't him. Ayla had her own issues, her own hurts and her own anxieties. Ayla wasn't the one who had to hold Mama's hand while she dealt with Dad's illness, and she wasn't going to have to help Mama navigate the elaborate world of insurance and treatments for what was a devastating disease.

  That fell to Alex. It was his world, and he'd been the one to set it all in motion. Not that he could take responsibility for the disease itself, but he'd pushed for the diagnosis. The guilt was there, rational or not.

  Alex was the one who would have to figure out a way to take care of Joey, at least financially. Dad had been an unconscionable prick when he'd neglected to make any kind of provision or even acknowledgement for his youngest. Now it was left to Alex to arrange something permanent to help his little brother, so even if the two families couldn't come to some sort of agreement the boy would still be comfortable.

  Derek wasn't going to go anywhere. He was safe. He represented safety, for crying out loud. Alex could focus on the earth-shattering problems, the family things, first. Maybe once things had calmed down, he and Derek could talk about maybe taking things a step further.

  Of course, there might not be a point. Derek would never be happy in the Brennan family. Mama might like him. Ayla definitely liked him. The rest of the family would eat him alive.

  Ayla just had a different mindset than the rest of them. She didn't get it. She couldn't. She'd been out on her own for twenty years. She'd fought hard, and she'd had to fight for everything she had, but she didn't know what it was to subordinate her own needs to the family's. She might learn, someday. She might not.

  If it weren't for the family, sure, Alex could imagine a nice, long life with Derek. He could picture a house, maybe a few kids. He could see getting old together, and arguing about which terrible daytime television to watch in the nursing home.

  That couldn't happen. Alex had responsibilities. Dad hadn't gone about things the right way, but Alex did have to think about being with someone who would fit in with the family. Someone who wanted to be part of the family. Derek didn't even think about family the same way the rest of them did. Derek thought of family as a source of fear and violence.

  Alex couldn't bring him into a hostile family. It would be cruel. He turned away from the pretty fantasy, the house and the couch and the retirement home. He had a job to do.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Derek slept in on Saturday. He could do that lately. Even if someone came over to the house, and he didn't expect any visitors, some nice guy in a uniform would chase them off. He could just enjoy the comfort of his mattress, and ward off the November chill with his duvet. Life was feeling pretty good about now.

  Okay, so it wasn't really feeling all that great. He still had an unwelcome little visitor deep in his body, and a trial starting the next week. Once that was over with, though, he could get back to his life again. He could focus on music, and he could focus on moving forward.

  His phone rang. Derek groaned. He didn't want to talk on the phone, and he definitely didn't want to deal with any more death threats. He picked up the phone and answered it. "You know," he said in a conversational tone, "the whole 'we're going to eat your liver' thing has gotten kind of old, don't you think? I mean it kind of loses its luster after a guy's heard it a dozen times or so."

  The voice on the other end went dead for a moment, and then Alex’s voice came through. "Um, Derek? I'm not sure exactly who you were expecting, but I'm what you've got. Mind if I come over? I'd like to talk to you."

  Derek flopped his head back against the pillow. He loved Alex. He wanted to see Alex. Words like I'd like to talk to you weren't lo
ving words, or preludes to loving words. They were preludes to drama. Derek couldn't take more drama right now.

  But Alex had plenty going on in his life. He needed support. It wasn't like his useless father was going to be any good. "Yeah. Let me just put on some pants."

  He found some clothes, ran a comb through his hair, and warned the cop guarding him for the day that the neighbor was coming over. He didn't know if Trooper Toloni had the first clue about his relationship with Alex, or about his pregnancy. Right now, he didn't care. Pretty soon, everyone would know anything anyway.

  Alex arrived while Derek was brushing his teeth. Derek headed out into the living room to see him. Carmela glanced between them and headed back into her room without a word.

  "I don't mean to chase her off," Alex said, taking the spot she'd just vacated. "She lives here too."

  "Dude, she can see the look on your face as well as I can. Can I get you anything? Water, coffee?" Derek fussed with the hem of his tee shirt.

  "No, thanks. I'm good. Were you really still in bed? Derek, it's noon. Why were you still in bed at noon?"

  Derek sat down. "What else am I going to do, man? We're stuck in here until the trial."

  "I didn't realize." Alex tugged at his collar. "I guess there's no point in inviting you out for coffee."

  Derek laughed. He couldn't help it. He knew the sound came out as bitter, but what kind of a fool did Alex take him for, anyway? "Really? You were going to be seen with me, in a public place?"

  Alex pulled his head back and blinked. "What are you talking about, Derek? We've been seen together plenty of times."

  "By people who were in this apartment. We've never even gone to your apartment. And I'm not criticizing." Derek held his hands up. He was criticizing, and he knew it, but he didn't want to push the issue. He hated fighting. He'd do it, when he had to, but he'd rather just let things take their course. Nothing was going to be gained by making this confrontation hostile. "I'm just saying, Alex, that's never been us."

  Alex nodded slowly. He refused to meet Derek's eyes, and Derek decided he could probably live with that. "Okay," he said after a moment. "Listen, I had a little talk with Ayla yesterday."

  Derek groaned. He'd trusted Ayla to keep his secret, and maybe she had. She'd still said enough to send Alex over here wanting to talk. For the love of all that was holy, why couldn't they avoid this chat and just skip straight to Netflix or something?

  "So I take it you know why she's so mad at me? Because she didn't give me a straight answer. She kept on telling me I wasn't doing right by you, and blah blah blah. But seriously, you seem to be okay with what we've got going on here."

  Derek yawned. "Sorry. It's not the company."

  Alex edged a little closer. "Derek, are you okay? I know you've been sleeping a lot lately. Carmela stopped by to ask about it. She wondered if you were coming down with something."

  It was time. Derek could either lie, and be the worst person ever, or he could tell the truth and lose the little bit of comfort he still had. If he lied, he'd be caught soon enough anyway. "I'm not sick. But I'm not okay, either."

  "Is it depression? Honestly, you're kind of a perfect candidate, you know?"

  "Really? A perfect candidate for depression?" Derek huffed. "Actually, you're probably not wrong. But, um. No. It's not because of depression. I'm—" The words stuck in the back of his throat. His mouth moved, but no sound came out.

  Alex stared at him for a moment. "You're tall. You're getting a haircut? A new tattoo? You got a new job in Texas. Please don't move to Texas. You're hungry. You want Mexican food. I'm having a lot of trouble with this psychic thing, Derek, they don't teach that at med school. Help me out here, one word."

  "Pregnant." Derek couldn't get the word louder than a whisper.

  He didn't need to. Alex heard him loud and clear. "Pregnant." All color drained from Alex’s face. "Are you sure? Because we used condoms. We used them every time."

  "Well they're not effective every time, so here we are." Derek buried his face in his hands. "And yeah. I'm sure. I took a test, and then I took another one in case that one was faulty. Because, you know, that happens."

  "It does, sometimes. Maybe that one was faulty too."

  "Odds?"

  "Not good."

  "Right. Pregnant."

  Alex stood up and stalked over to the window. "This is not a complication I needed right now."

  The state trooper stationed near the door tried not to react. Derek could see the way his muscles twitched.

  White hot rage filled Derek. He jumped up to his feet. "Oh, it's not a complication you needed. I'm the one with a baby growing in his goddam belly. I'm the one who's going to lose his job because guess what, they don't hold jobs for guys who have to take leave three times in one year. I'm the one who's got to find a way to keep the baby clothed, and fed, and educated. You get to just waltz the hell away but oh, it's a complication you didn't need?"

  Alex’s face turned scarlet. "Is that really what you think of me?"

  "Alex, you made me have someone else drive me from here, the same place where you live, to the same place you were going, because the thought of being associated with me was too much for you. Sure, I like you, but I'm not a fool. I know what to expect." He curled his lip. "Besides, that's what the men in your family do, isn't it? They find someone 'suitable' and leave their discards to fend for themselves."

  Alex’s hand clenched into a fist, and for a second Derek thought he'd finally made Alex snap. Alex relaxed his hand, though. "I'm going to pretend you didn't just insult me on every possible level. You're just being overly emotional. It's just hormones."

  "Oh my God, Alex." Derek took a deep breath and forced himself to calm down. "This is so not how I wanted this to go down. Are you honestly telling me that you intend to marry me and make an honest provision for our child, so I don't have to worry about how to put food in front of them?"

  Alex threw his hands in the air. "Don't be ridiculous." He stopped. "Wait. That's not what I meant."

  "You wouldn't have said it if you didn't mean it, Alex." Derek blinked back tears. "Someday, you're going to fall in love. And you're going to find an omega who you can parade around and be proud of. You're going to want to start a real family with them, not with a guy like me. And I knew that when I took up with you." He held up his hands. "I'm not judging you. I'm not. I'm just saying, don't get mad at me because I know what's going on here."

  Alex glared at him. "You know, you've got a lot of nerve saying you know what's going on here. You sprung this on me with no warning. And you know what? You've known for a while, haven't you?"

  "A couple of weeks." Derek looked away. He couldn't look at the cop, and he couldn't look at Alex, so he looked at the wall.

  "So you could have told me a while ago, and you decided to just sit on it because why not?" Alex threw his hands out to the sides. "You've been lying to me but hey, you told the truth to Ayla."

  "Ayla figured it out on her own, thank you very much." Derek bit the words out. "She was paying attention. It took Carmela and Ayla to point out there was an issue to you. I wouldn't have told her. I wouldn't have told anyone, damn it.

  "And you want to know why I didn't tell you, Alex? Because I knew you'd react like this. I'm not important in this equation. The baby's not important in this equation. You haven't asked me if I've been sick, you haven't asked me how I'm doing. You haven't asked me what I'm thinking about the baby or even if I want the baby. The only person you're thinking about is you." Derek pointed at Alex.

  "Oh, forgive me for thinking about how suddenly finding out I'm going to be a father affects me." Alex scoffed. "It's not like I have to come up with a plan or anything."

  Derek didn't try to stop the tears that rolled down his face. Maybe Alex was right and it was down to hormones. Maybe it didn't matter why Derek was upset. Maybe Derek had the right to be upset, and the right to express it. "You don't, actually. We're not married. We're not in a real relationship. Th
ere's no trail linking you to this baby, or even to me."

  "Damn it, Derek, stop overreacting. I'm not asking you to head off to the hills and raise the baby in secret, okay?" Alex rolled his eyes. "I'm just saying I need more time. I need time to absorb this, time to figure out where this all fits in with everything. Stop being such a drama queen about everything. Sometimes it's not about you, it's about family."

  Derek nodded slowly. "Yeah. Yeah, okay. Well, I'm heading back to bed. I'm kind of beat, so I'm just going to go lie down for a bit. You have a good day."

  Alex gave him a confused look. "Are you kicking me out?"

  Derek stuffed his hands in his pockets. "Well, you know. I don't want to be clingy or anything, and I know you have a lot of thinking to do. You need to absorb, and to figure out where this all fits into everything. So while this destroys my entire life, I'm going to go sleep on it and give you the space you need. You're welcome to do it here or there." He stalked back off to his bedroom.