Unbreak Me

by Julieanne Lynch

  Sighing, Regina swallowed hard before she spoke. “I guess we’d better get you sorted with travel arrangements. I think we ought to let Jenna know.”

  Nodding, Molly stood and kissed Regina on the cheek. “Thank you.”

  Molly walked back to her room. The weight of the world bore down heavy on her shoulders. Her head ached from all the thinking, the unwanted memories, the bad taste that it all left in her mouth.

  Once inside her room, Molly paid a little more attention to what she packed. She made sure she had the necessities, a few trinkets that reminded her of home, but, more importantly, the album she and Aggie had put together shortly before her death.

  With a heavy heart, Molly tied up her hair, applying a little makeup to cover the heartache she wore on her face. If she wore a mask, then no one would know or suspect that everything she had ever wanted was now gone.

  The sound of the door knocking pulled her out of her pensive thoughts.

  Jenna.

  “So Montana, huh?” she said as she leaned against her bedroom door.

  “Yup.” She avoided having to look at her. Instead, she pulled on her light denim jacket.

  “Mom will be glad of the female company. The farm could use an extra pair of hands.”

  “She always said any time I needed the break, I’d be welcome, and I figure no better time than the present.”

  Molly checked her room one last time, making sure she hadn’t forgotten a thing. She lifted her bag from the bed and turned off her lamp. Walking to the door, Jenna held her hand out to her. “Let me take that for you.”

  “Sure.”

  Following her up the hallway, she could hear Regina putter about the kitchen, keeping herself busy.

  “I made a few calls, you can catch the six-twenty,” Regina said as she filled up three cups of coffee.

  “Okay, that sounds fine to me. I need to stop at the bank, sort out some cash,” Molly replied as she lifted the hot cup into her hands. “Are you able to find out what services are available to me, you know, AA wise?” she asked Jenna.

  “You know I will, and besides, with Mom being a teetotaler, you’ve no worries about temptation there,” Jenna said, trying her best to keep the mood as light as possible.

  “Excellent,” Molly muttered.

  As she sipped at the coffee, she looked over the cup at both Regina’s and Jenna’s faces. They were evidently distraught, how could they not have been? The girl they had helped restore from the broken and pitiful state she had once been in was now fleeing the nest. Molly’s false smile hid a thousand wounds, some so deep she had convinced herself she’d never recover from them.

  Now the awkward conversation was forced, each one of them trying to fill the void. The insecurity of having to let go and say goodbye.

  Molly hated goodbyes, but new beginnings meant a second chance, something she needed. Time to heal, time to learn to forgive and time to find her true path in life.

  Chapter Forty-One

  One year later

  To hate oneself was a horrid disease. One Connor was learning to live with fast. He found himself slipping into a world fueled by alcohol and pointless dates with women who meant nothing to him. He felt dead inside. He existed simply to run his father’s company. Whatever came after that was jaded and clouded with drunken outburst and blackouts.

  Hong Kong lived up to his brother’s stories. Women who loved Western men with money, and men who loved showering their little conquests with lavish gifts, all to keep their silence.

  Edward walked into the office, looking at his watch. “My flight leaves in a few hours, you sure about staying here? Running things solo for a few weeks?”

  “Absolutely, Liao will be back on Monday and I’ve a ton of work to catch up on,” Connor answered as he rubbed his eyes.

  “You look tired. Maybe lay off the juice for a few days.”

  Connor scoffed at his friend’s advice. “No can do, I’ve a dinner date in an hour. I need something to make it through.”

  “Then why bother even going out if she’s that bad?” Edward asked.

  “Because anything is better than spending a night on my own.”

  Connor had slipped into bad habits. A ritual of bad decision making and countless hours spent hating himself. It was how he saw his future. If he didn’t wind up dead by the age of forty, he’d be surprised.

  “Enjoy the pity party,” Edward said as he walked to the door. “But before you pull the trigger, maybe you should count your blessings. You have a great job, a secure future, you are a king compared to some. You dumped that girl. So what? Those kinds of wounds heal, but, man, this shit, it’s going to destroy you, and I can’t stand back and watch you do this, not while your name is attached to the sign on the top of this building.”

  “I can always count on you being blunt,” Connor replied, sighing as he looked out over the breathtaking city. Standing, he popped his hands into his pockets and stared at the symphony of lights twinkling.

  Connor was a million miles away from everything he’d left behind. No matter how hard he tried to find himself, or something worth living for, nothing compared to what he had thrown away. It was slowly destroying him one day at a time.

  “Well, you know me. I say it like it is,” Edward replied. “Anyway, I’ll see you in a few weeks. Just, you know… Look after yourself.”

  Connor did not once make eye contact with his friend. Instead, his mind was off somewhere else. A familiar place he wanted to return to—Molly.

  God, he hated who he was becoming. He couldn’t stomach the pretense, the façade, the mockery he was making of his own heart. A never-ending undercurrent of regret and sadness that no amount of medication could fix.

  The evening went by in a blur.

  Ning chatted over dinner, her words drowned by the wine Connor drank. But the busty girl didn’t seem to mind. Connor had tried to avoid calling her, considering their disastrous first date, but she was an easy distraction and he needed his mind on something other than the past. “You wanna get out of here?” Connor asked as he tried to focus on her face.

  “Yes, okay. I don’t mind.”

  Throwing down his card, he drunkenly raised his hand and called the waiter over to the table.

  “Check!”

  Once they were in the back of the car, Ning giggled as Connor ran his hand up the insides of her thighs. Connor slid a finger in through the side of her panties, teasing Ning, as he kissed the back of her neck.

  Gasping, Ning trembled as he slipped a finger inside her, twirling it around, opening her a little more, so he could stick in another.

  “We should stop…” she moaned.

  “Why?” Connor bit on her ear, his tongue touching the flesh of her lobe.

  “Driver…watching.”

  “So what?” Connor grinned. “Give him a show.”

  Before Ning could respond, Connor was kissing her hard, their tongues dancing together as Ning trembled from the building orgasm.

  “Come for me,” he whispered in her ear.

  As he rubbed her clit, Ning held on to the seat, her warm breath brushing against Connor’s cheek. Sighing and moaning, she threw her head back against the headrest. “I’m coming,” she moaned out.

  Connor didn’t stop. He stared at her face, watching it scrunch up as the wave of pleasure took over. Her hot wetness seeped over his fingers, dripping down in between the cheeks of her buttocks. Warm musky moisture that left a scent in the air.

  Giggling, Ning looked at the driver. His eyes stared back at her from the rearview mirror. But there was no surprise. Little did Ning know that this was something he’d become used to.

  “Good girl,” Connor said as he wiped his hands on his handkerchief. “Where do you want to be dropped off?”

  A look of horror spread across her face. “Pardon me?”

  “We are done for the evening. Where would you like my driver to take you?”

  Ning was lost for words. Connor was sure she thought a night of
passion was on the cards for them, but no, Connor had no intention of allowing her near him, not in that way. He didn’t want that kind of intimacy. He was more than happy to give a little, have some control, but sex was never on his agenda.

  “You can let me off here,” Connor directed to his driver. “I will walk back. Please take Ning home.”

  The driver nodded, slowing the car. Connor opened the door, then looked back at an angry Ning. “I’ll call you.”

  Before she had the chance to shout at him Connor closed the door. He inhaled the night as he walked to his apartment complex, completely disgusted with himself and ready for a heavy night of booze and regret.

  * * * *

  The phone woke him shortly after nine a.m. Groggy, and worse for wear, Connor reached over, knocking an empty bottle of whiskey onto the floor.

  “Hello!” he sleepily said, not once lifting his head off the pillow. “Mark, it’s Saturday.”

  “So, did you forget?”

  “What?”

  “Ollie’s first birthday?” Mark sounded pissed.

  “Ah shit…” Connor said as he sat up, holding the back of his head as the headache made the room spin. “Fuck!”

  “You’re his godfather, you know how these things work.”

  “I didn’t know you wanted me there as in, fly back.”

  Connor stumbled out of bed naked, walked to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water and chugged down half the contents before belching.

  “You could still make it,” Mark insisted.

  “I’ll feel terrible if I miss it…but, man, I’m…”

  “Hungover?”

  “Yes.”

  Connor walked to the large windows. The hazy sun shone in on his face, the unshaven shadow a mess.

  “Cassie and I understand the whole issue with coming back, but you’re family, it won’t feel right without you.” Mark was sincere.

  “I’ll see what I can do.”

  “Thanks, man.”

  Once Connor hung up, he rested his hands behind his head. His self-destructing behavior was now in overdrive. It had manifested into something he never knew he was capable of. He’d used Ning, made her feel like a cheap whore and he sickened himself to the core because of that.

  “Fuck!” he roared.

  Simpering down, he showered, washing away the effects of the booze from the night before, knowing he’d have to make the journey back home, and to the place that brought too many memories to the surface.

  Once he was freshly dressed, he tidied up his condo. The whole while the thought of Molly flashed through his head. He still found it hard to believe that a year had passed, and he missed her more with each new day. Yet the more he missed her, the more he abused himself, never allowing himself a chance to recover.

  Knowing all it would take was one phone call, he made contact with his father, who was surprised to hear from him.

  “What can I do for you?” John asked.

  “How are you fixed for flying me home in time for Ollie’s birthday?” Connor asked, swallowing his pride.

  “I can have a plane ready for you in a few hours.”

  “Thanks, Dad.”

  “Connor?”

  “Yes.”

  “You know Marissa will be there?”

  “She kinda comes with the territory.”

  “Okay, just as long as you know. I’ll arrange a car to pick you up,” John said.

  “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  “Safe travels.”

  Connor hung up, this time rushing to his room, packing a bag and putting his passport inside his jacket. Nerves nearly got the better of him. He wasn’t in the right frame of mind, but damn it, family had to count for something, and if he let down those who’d been there for him during his darkest days, then he was no more than a coward.

  There were some things in life that never made sense, and going home, right back to where it all began, was in fact a car crash waiting to happen. But who was he to stand in the way of fate?

  Chapter Forty-Two

  Adelaide had just made a fresh pot of soup when Molly returned from town, carrying a bag of groceries, her face the picture of health. Life in Montana had done a world of good for her. Gone were the dizzy spells, impromptu language, and she’d learned to control some of the bad moods.

  “I thought I’d never get away from Mrs. Bradshaw. That woman loves to talk.” Molly laughed as she took out the contents of the bag, then put the eggs in the refrigerator.

  Adelaide was a seventy-six year old who had more energy than people thirty years her junior. She still ran the farm, keeping the books in order, and knew how to order her staff around, but she also knew her limitations and was happy to leave those things to Molly.

  “Jenna called earlier,” Adelaide said as she stirred the soup.

  “Is everything okay?” Molly’s insides twisted. She hated the thought of something happening and being completely out of the loop, but it came with the territory of not being back in San Francisco.

  “Oh yes, honey, don’t be going all worrisome over a phone call.”

  Letting out a sigh of relief, Molly buttered some rolls and set the table. “Is it the hearing?”

  “Yes, Barry’s going to call you after supper,” Adelaide said as she ladled out two bowls of soup and set them on the table. “Now eat up. How are you going to get yourself a man if you’ve no meat on those bones?” Adelaide winked at Molly as the two of them ate, enjoying the warm broth.

  Molly had taken to country life very well. She’d found herself capable of so many things, and the fact that city life seemed so far away made her feel secure. There was no way her parents would ever track her there. She was safe and that helped her sleep at night.

  After they finished, Molly cleared the table, leaving Adelaide time to read the paper and have a nap. Taking out the rest of the soup in flasks, she went to the barn and gave them to Matt and William.

  “Here, this’ll warm you up.” Molly handed them the soup.

  “Thanks, Molls,” William said.

  “How was town?” Matt asked.

  Molly laughed. “Your mother is an interesting woman.”

  This made William laugh too.

  Through the heavy facial hair on his face, Matt went red, only for Molly to pat him on the arm. “Don’t worry, she had only good things to say about you.”

  “She never shuts up. I swear she wants to marry me off to anything that moves,” Matt complained.

  “She’s probably sick of cleaning up after your sorry ass every day,” William joked.

  Molly observed them. William was the elder of the pair and Jenna’s older brother. He still lived with Adelaide, but his life had been a struggle, and from what Molly understood, alcoholism ran in the family. Or so she had been told by town gossips. The farm proved therapeutic to William and he’d been clean eight years.

  “Okay, I’ve books to check and a call from Barry in a few hours. I’ll see you guys later,” Molly said, smiling at the men, then she went back to the house.

  Filling up a fresh cup of coffee, Molly opened the ledger and began totaling figures. Checking over Adelaide’s calculations, she sipped at her drink every few minutes.

  A year had passed since she’d found herself alone and broken. There were times when she often slipped back to that day at the airport, remembering Connor’s cold eyes and his words. Then she’d pull herself back from the memory, not allowing herself to give it any life.

  There were days when she’d awaken in a sweat, her heart pounding, her sheets soaking from the dreams. They were few and far between, but no matter how much she placed all the hurt in the far off reaches of her mind, it was in her sleep that it sometimes crept in.

  On days like those, it would have been easy to slip off into one of the bars in town and drink herself stupid. But after overcoming so many hurdles, she knew that to go down that road again would have been like dancing with the devil, and she didn’t fancy burning in hell any time soon.
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  The phone rang, making her jump.

  “Hello,” she said.

  “Hey, how’s the little farmer?” Barry asked, his voice the same as always—happy.

  “She’s doing really well,” Molly replied. “So, it’s happening?”

  “Yes, but you knew it was coming. We’ve been over this.”

  “Do I really need to be there?” she asked, having almost convinced herself that it would all happen and be done without her being there.

  “Molly, we’ve discussed this. Your evidence will put him away.”

  “Damn it,” Molly cursed. “I thought I wouldn’t have to be there.”

  “The defense will cross-examine you, Molly.”

  Shock eased itself inside Molly. “But I’m not ready.”

  “Of course you’re ready. We’ve been over the cross-examination, the kind of questions they may ask. You can do this.”

  “I guess I’ll have to,” Molly said, sounding defeated already. “When?”

  “Wednesday morning.”

  “Jesus, Barry, that’s in four days,” she complained.

  “I know, and I’m sorry. I tried calling last night, but Adelaide mentioned that you and she went out for dinner.”

  “Yeah, I treated her to a steak and ice cream.” Molly smiled.

  “That woman does love her T-bones.” Barry laughed, then his voice got serious. “Listen, we need you to fly down tomorrow. I’ve got a flight booked and I’ll pick you up, okay?”

  Molly’s head spun as she tried to make sense of all the details. Her heart skipped a beat when she realized she’d be going over the events of the day and that’s when she felt as if someone were squeezing her neck.

  “Molly… Are you still there?”

  “Yeah.” Molly choked back the tears. “What time do I need to be at the airport?”

  “About two-thirty. Your flight’s at three-fifty-five p.m. I’ll have William drop you off. You’ll get in just before eight, and I’ll be there to get you, okay?”