The Ragged Trousered Philanthropists

by Robert Tressell

  ‘Question!’ cried Crass, and there were loud murmurs of indignant dissent from several quarters as Owen proceeded:

  ‘How does it happen that we are so short of the things that are made by work?’

  ‘The reason why we’re short of the things that’s made by work,’ interrupted Crass, mimicking Owen’s manner, ‘is that we ain’t got the bloody money to buy ’em.’

  ‘Yes,’ said the man on the pail; ‘and as I said before, if all the money in the country was shared out equal today according to Owen’s ideas – in six months’ time it would be all back again in the same ’ands as it is now, and what are you goin’ to do then?’

  ‘Share again, of course.’

  This answer came derisively from several places at the same instant, and then they all began speaking at once, vying with each other in ridiculing the foolishness of ‘them there Socialists’, whom they called ‘The Sharers Out’.

  Barrington was almost the only one who took no part in the conversation. He was seated in his customary place and, as usual, silently smoking, apparently oblivious to his surroundings.

  ‘I never said anything about “sharing out all the money”,’ said Owen during a lull in the storm, ‘and I don’t know of any Socialist who advocates anything of the kind. Can any of you tell me the name of someone who proposes to do so?’

  No one answered, as Owen repeated his inquiry, this time addressing himself directly to Crass, who had been one of the loudest in denouncing and ridiculing the ‘Sharers Out’. Thus cornered, Crass – who knew absolutely nothing about the subject – for a few moments looked rather foolish. Then he began to talk in a very loud voice:

  ‘Why, it’s a well-known fact. Everybody knows that’s what they wants. But they take bloody good care they don’t act up to it theirselves, though. Look at them there Labour members of Parliament – a lot of b––rs what’s too bloody lazy to work for their livin’! What the bloody ’ell was they before they got there? Only workin’ men, the same as you and me! But they’ve got the gift o’ the gab and –’

  ‘Yes, we know all about that,’ said Owen, ‘but what I’m asking you is to tell us who advocates taking all the money in the country and sharing it out equally?’

  ‘And I say that everybody knows that’s what they’re after!’ shouted Crass. ‘And you know it as well as I do. A fine thing!’ he added indignantly. ‘Accordin’ to that idear, a bloody scavenger or a farm labourer ought to get as much wages as you or me!’

  ‘We can talk about that some other time. What I want to know at present is – what authority have you for saying that Socialists believe in sharing out all the money equally amongst all the people?’

  ‘Well, that’s what I’ve always understood they believed in doing,’ said Crass rather lamely.

  ‘It’s a well-known fact,’ said several others.

  ‘Come to think of it,’ continued Crass as he drew the Obscurer cutting from his waistcoat pocket, ‘I’ve got a little thing ’ere that I’ve been goin’ to read to yer. It’s out of the Obscurer. I’d forgotten all about it.’

  Remarking that the print was too small for his own eyes, he passed the slip of paper to Harlow, who read aloud as follows:

  PROVE YOUR PRINCIPLES: OR, LOOK AT BOTH SIDES

  ‘I wish I could open your eyes to the true misery of our condition: injustice, tyranny and oppression!’ said a discontented hack to a weary-looking cob as they stood side by side in unhired cabs.

  ‘I’d rather have them opened to something pleasant, thank you,’ replied the cob.

  ‘I am sorry for you. If you could enter into the noble aspirations –’ the hack began.

  ‘Talk plain. What would you have?’ said the cob, interrupting him.

  ‘What would I have? Why, equality, and share and share alike all over the world,’ said the hack.

  ‘You mean that?’ said the cob.

  ‘Of course I do. What right have those sleek, pampered hunters and racers to their warm stables and high feed, their grooms and jockeys? It is really heart-sickening to think of it,’ replied the hack.

  ‘I don’t know but you may be right,’ said the cob, ‘and to show I’m in earnest, as no doubt you are, let me have half the good beans you have in your bag, and you shall have half the musty oats and chaff I have in mine. There’s nothing like proving one’s principles.’

  Original Parables. By Mrs Prosser.

  ‘There you are!’ cried several voices.

  ‘What does that mean?’ cried Crass, triumphantly. ‘Why don’t you go and share your wages with the chaps what’s out of work?’

  ‘What does it mean?’ replied Owen contemptuously. ‘It means that if the Editor of the Obscurer put that in his paper as an argument against Socialism, either he is of feeble intellect himself or else he thinks that the majority of his readers are. That isn’t an argument against Socialism – it’s an argument against the hypocrites who pretend to be Christians – the people who profess to “Love their neighbours as themselves” – who pretend to believe in Universal Brotherhood, and that they do not love the world or the things of the world and say that they are merely “Pilgrims on their way to a better land”. As for why I don’t do it – why should I? I don’t pretend to be a Christian. But you’re all “Christians” – why don’t you do it?’

  ‘We’re not talkin’ about religion,’ exclaimed Crass, impatiently.

  ‘Then what are you talking about? I never said anything about “Sharing Out” or “Bearing one another’s burdens”. I don’t profess to “Give to everyone who asks of me” or to “Give my cloak to the man who takes away my coat”. I have read that Christ taught that His followers must do all these things, but as I do not pretend to be one of His followers I don’t do them. But you believe in Christianity: why don’t you do the things that He said?’

  As nobody seemed to know the answer to this question, the lecturer proceeded:

  ‘In this matter the difference between so-called “Christians” and Socialists is this: Christ taught the Fatherhood of God and the Brotherhood of Men. Those who today pretend to be Christ’s followers hypocritically profess to carry out those teachings now. But they don’t. They have arranged “The Battle of Life” system instead!

  ‘The Socialist – very much against his will – finds himself in the midst of this horrible battle, and he appeals to the other combatants to cease from fighting and to establish a system of Brotherly Love and Mutual Helpfulness, but he does not hypocritically pretend to practise brotherly love towards those who will not agree to his appeal, and who compel him to fight with them for his very life. He knows that in this battle he must either fight or go under. Therefore, in self-defence, he fights; but all the time he continues his appeal for the cessation of the slaughter. He pleads for the changing system. He advocates Co-operation instead of Competition: but how can he co-operate with people who insist on competing with him? No individual can practise co-operation by himself! Socialism can only be practised by the Community – that is the meaning of the word. At present, the other members of the community – the “Christians” – deride and oppose the Socialist’s appeal.

  ‘It is these pretended Christians who do not practise what they preach, because, all the time they are singing their songs of Brotherhood and Love, they are fighting with each other, and strangling each other and trampling each other under foot in their horrible “Battle of Life”!

  ‘No Socialist suggests “Sharing out” money or anything else in the manner you say. And another thing: if you only had a little more sense you might be able to perceive that this stock “argument” of yours is really an argument against the present system, inasmuch as it proves that Money is in itself of no use whatever. Supposing all the money was shared out equally; and suppose there was enough of it for everyone to have ten thousand pounds; and suppose they then all thought they were rich and none of them would work. What would they live on? Their money? Could they eat it or drink it or wear it? It wouldn’t take them very long
to find out that this wonderful money – which under the present system is the most powerful thing in existence – is really of no more use than so much dirt. They would speedily perish, not from lack of money, but from lack of wealth – that is, from lack of things that are made by work. And further, it is quite true that if all the money were distributed equally amongst all the people tomorrow, it would all be up in heaps again in a very short time. But that only proves that while the present Money System remains, it will be impossible to do away with poverty, for heaps in some places mean little or nothing in other places. Therefore while the money system lasts we are bound to have poverty and all the evils it brings in its train.’

  ‘Oh, of course everybody’s an idjit except you,’ sneered Crass, who was beginning to feel rather fogged.

  ‘I rise to a pint of order,’ said Easton.

  ‘And I rise to order a pint,’ cried Philpot.

  ‘Order what the bloody ’ell you like,’ remarked Harlow, ‘so long as I ’aven’t got to pay for it.’

  ‘Mine’s a pint of porter,’ observed the man on the pail.

  ‘The pint is,’ proceeded Easton, ‘when does the lecturer intend to explain to us what is the real cause of poverty.’

  ‘’Ear, ’ear,’ cried Harlow. ‘That’s what I want to know, too.’

  ‘And what I should like to know is, who is supposed to be givin’ this ’ere lecture?’ inquired the man on the pail.

  ‘Why, Owen, of course,’ replied Harlow.

  ‘Well, why don’t you try to keep quiet for a few minutes and let ’im get on with it?’

  ‘The next B—r wot interrupts,’ cried Philpot, rolling up his shirt-sleeves and glaring threateningly round upon the meeting. ‘The next b—r wot interrupts goes out through the bloody winder!’

  At this, everybody pretended to be very frightened, and edged away as far as possible from Philpot. Easton, who was sitting next to him, got up and crossed over to Owen’s vacant seat. The man on the pail was the only one who did not seem nervous; perhaps he felt safer because he was, as usual, surrounded by a moat.

  ‘Poverty,’ resumed the lecturer, ‘consists in a shortage of the necessaries of life – or rather, of the benefits of civilization.’

  ‘You’ve said that about a ’undred times before,’ snarled Crass.

  ‘I know I have; and I have no doubt I shall have to say it about five hundred times more before you understand what it means.’

  ‘Get on with the bloody lecture,’ shouted the man on the pail. ‘Never mind arguin’ the point.’

  ‘Well, keep horder, can’t you?’ cried Philpot, fiercely, ‘and give the man a chance.’

  ‘All these things are produced in the same way,’ proceeded Owen. ‘They are made from the Raw materials by those who work – aided by machinery. When we inquire into the cause of the present shortage of these things, the first question we should ask is – Are there not sufficient of the raw materials in existence to enable us to produce enough to satisfy the needs of all?

  ‘The answer to this question is – There are undoubtedly more than sufficient of all the raw materials.

  ‘Insufficiency of raw material is therefore not the cause. We must look in another direction.

  ‘The next question is – Are we short of labour? Is there not a sufficient number of people able and willing to work? Or is there not enough machinery?

  ‘The answers to these questions are – There are plenty of people able and willing to work, and there is plenty of machinery!

  ‘These things being so, how comes this extraordinary result? How is it that the benefits of civilization are not produced in sufficient quantity to satisfy the needs of all? How is it that the majority of the people always have to go without most of the refinements, comforts, and pleasures of life, and very often without even the bare necessaries of existence?

  ‘Plenty of materials – Plenty of Labour – Plenty of Machinery – and, nearly everybody going short of nearly everything!

  ‘The cause of this extraordinary state of affairs is that although we possess the means of producing more than abundance for all, we also have an imbecile system of managing our affairs.

  ‘The present Money System prevents us from doing the necessary work, and consequently causes the majority of the population to go short of the things that can be made by work. They suffer want in the midst of the means of producing abundance. They remain idle because they are bound and fettered with a chain of gold.

  ‘Let us examine the details of this insane, idiotic, imbecile system.’

  Owen now asked Philpot to pass him a piece of charred wood from under the grate, and having obtained what he wanted, he drew upon the wall a quadrangular figure about four feet in length and one foot deep. The walls of the kitchen had not yet been cleaned off, so it did not matter about disfiguring them.

  ‘To find out the cause of the shortage in this country of the things that can be made by work it is first of all necessary to find out how people spend their time. Now this square represents the whole of the adult population of this country. There are many different classes of people, engaged in a great number of different occupations. Some of them are helping to produce the benefits of civilization, and some are not. All these people help to consume these things, but when we inquire into their occupations we shall find that although the majority are workers, only a comparatively small number are engaged in actually producing either the benefits of civilization or the necessaries of life.’…

  Order being once more restored, the lecturer turned again to the drawing on the wall and stretched out his hand, evidently with the intention of making some addition to it, but instead of doing so he paused irresolutely, and faltering, let his arm drop down again by his side.

  An absolute, disconcerting silence reigned. His embarrassment and nervousness increased. He knew that they were unwilling to hear or talk or think about such subjects as the cause of poverty at all. They preferred to make fun of and ridicule them. He knew they would refuse to try to see the meaning of what he wished to say if it were at all difficult or obscure. How was he to put it to them so that they would have to understand it whether they wished to or not. It was almost impossible.

  It would be easy enough to convince them if they would only take a little trouble and try to understand, but he knew that they certainly would not ‘worry’ themselves about such a subject as this; it was not as if it were some really important matter, such as a smutty story, a game of hooks and rings or shove-ha’penny, something concerning football or cricket, horse-racing or the doings of some Royal personage or aristocrat.

  The problem of the cause of poverty was only something that concerned their own and their children’s future welfare. Such an unimportant matter, being undeserving of any earnest attention, must be put before them so clearly and plainly that they would be compelled to understand it at a glance; and it was almost impossible to do it.

  Observing his hesitation, some of the men began to snigger.

  ‘’E seems to ’ave got ’isself into a bit of a fog,’ remarked Crass in a loud whisper to Slyme, who laughed.

  The sound roused Owen, who resumed:

  ‘All these people help to consume the things produced by labour. We will now divide them into separate classes. Those who help to produce; those who do nothing, those who do harm, and those who are engaged in unnecessary work.’

  ‘And,’ sneered Crass, ‘those who are engaged in unnecessary talk.’

  ‘First we will separate those who not only do nothing, but do not even pretend to be of any use; people who would consider themselves disgraced if they by any chance did any useful work. This class includes tramps, beggars, the “Aristocracy”, “Society” people, great landowners, and generally all those possessed of hereditary wealth.’

  As he spoke he drew a vertical line across one end of the oblong.

  ‘These people do absolutely nothing except devour or enjoy the things produced by the labours of others.

  �
��Our next division represents those who do work of a kind – “mental” work if you like to call it so – work that benefits themselves and harms other people. Employers – or rather Exploiters of Labour; Thieves, Swindlers, Pickpockets; profit seeking shareholders; burglars; Bishops; Financiers; Capitalists, and those persons humorously called “Ministers” of religion. If you remember that the word “minister” means “servant” you will be able to see the joke.

  ‘None of these people produce anything themselves, but by means of cunning and scheming they contrive between them to obtain possession of a very large portion of the things produced by the labour of others.

  ‘Number three stands for those who work for wages or salaries, doing unnecessary work. That is, producing things or doing things which – though useful and necessary to the Imbecile System – cannot be described as the necessaries of life or the benefits of civilization. This is the largest section of all. It comprises Commercial Travellers, Canvassers, Insurance agents, commission agents, the great number of Shop Assistants, the majority of clerks, workmen employed in the construction and adornment of business premises, people occupied with what they call “Business”, which means being very busy without producing anything. Then there is a vast army of people engaged in designing, composing, painting or printing advertisements, things which are for the most part of no utility whatever, the object of most advertisements is merely to persuade people to buy from one firm rather than from another. If you want some butter it doesn’t matter whether you buy it from Brown or Jones or Robinson.’