Redemption Lake

by Monique Miller

  After saying a quick, silent grace, he took the side of his fork and cut a piece. Upon tasting the meat and vegetable filled masterpiece, he hummed with delight. It tasted even better than the omelets at IHOP. “Are you a chef?” Xavier directed his question to Shelby.

  “No, I’m a registered nurse,” Shelby answered.

  Xavier took another bite of his omelet. “I see what you mean now, George. Shelby, I really think your missed your calling. You cook as good as any of the chefs from many of the restaurants I’ve been to.”

  “Thanks, Xavier. There is a secret I assure you. I might share it with you before you all leave and go back home.” Shelby smiled.

  “My wife can cook too,” Travis said. “That’s what she does for a living.”

  “Are you a chef?” Xavier asked Beryl.

  Beryl cut her eyes at her husband. “No, I’m not a chef. I manage a Hardee’s back home. But you know how managers are in fast food restaurants. We can do just about anything. Sometimes we get a high rush of people, and my cooks may need help. Or you just never know when someone might call in sick or just up and quit.”

  Travis nodded, pride glowing from his face at his wife’s comments. “She sells makeup on the side also; so if any of you ladies need something, call my wife, and she can hook you up.”

  With the volume of her voice rising, Beryl looked directly at her husband and said, “Sometimes you’ve got to get the job done whether you like it or not. Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.”

  Travis’s look of pride fizzled into a look of embarrassment and shame. Xavier figured he’d try and help prevent any further escalating heat in the room by directing his question to Travis. “Have you ever thought about car sales?”

  “No, can’t say that I have. I don’t know if I’d be good at trying to get people to buy cars.”

  Beryl put the cup of orange juice she was drinking down on the table with a thud. And with her neck shaking like a bobbing head doll, she said, “But you could at least try. People need cars. I’m sure there are people who come in already planning on buying a car; they just need a little help choosing the right one. Isn’t that right, Xavier?” Beryl rotated her whole body toward Xavier and crossed her arms as she waited for the answer.

  All Xavier wanted to do was enjoy the rest of his omelet while the cheese was still running warm. He had his own problems to deal with, and right now he was feeling like he was some sort of counselor.

  “Uh, yeah, lots of people come in knowing they want to purchase a car. They might not know what they want, and sometimes they’re dealership hopping, looking for just the right car. But that’s when the skills of salesmanship kick in. If you’re a people person, with the right training, you might do well as a salesman,” Xavier said.

  Beryl rotated her body back toward Travis. “But you’ll never know if you don’t try.”

  Travis picked up his napkin, wiped his hands, and balled it up. He dropped it into his plate.

  “Hey, everybody,” Phillip said as he entered the dining room. “What’s going on? I thought I heard a couple of voices in here.”

  “That was me,” Beryl said. “I didn’t mean to be so loud. I was just trying to make a point.” She waved her hand in a dismissive gesture. “But whatever. I honestly don’t know why I try so hard.”

  Travis let out a deep breath, picked up his plate and headed for the kitchen. He mumbled something to Shelby while throwing an entire omelet into the trash can. Then he rubbed his stomach and headed toward his bedroom.

  Xavier wondered how he had gotten sucked in to the whole argument between Beryl and Travis. No one else had said a thing. George sat in his seat looking as if he were meditating the whole time. His wife, Nina, finished dissecting the omelet she was eating, barely taking two bites. Xavier wondered how the woman had gotten so big with the minimal caloric intake she’d been displaying so far at the retreat.

  Charlotte, who was sitting in the living room, had barely even acknowledged there were other people in the cabin with her, much less having an escalating argument. It was as if she really didn’t care, and this bothered Xavier.

  He only had a few days to try to convince his wife that he was truly sorry for his infidelity and to assure her that he was a completely changed man. And so help him God, he was going to do it somehow.

  Chapter 13

  Xavier Knight

  Tuesday: 9:02 A.M.

  “I trust you all have eaten and enjoyed your breakfast. My wife can cook, can’t she?” Phillip gently patted Shelby on her shoulder. They were seated back at The Round Table.

  Shelby looked into her husband’s eyes, and Xavier could see the mutual love the couple had for each other. He wondered if he and Charlotte would ever again have that same type of mutual love.

  “Tell the truth, Phillip, she’s really a chef, right?” Xavier said. He smiled, patting his stomach.

  George piped in, “I agree, I haven’t had cooking like that in a while.”

  “Not every woman can be domesticated. Some of us have other talents and skills,” Nina said. She looked at George as if daring him to challenge what she was saying.

  George shook his head in exasperation. Without saying a word, he picked up his agenda and read the day’s information.

  “Thanks, Xavier and George, I know you’re just trying to find out what my cooking secrets are, but like I said, at the end of this retreat, I just might share a few of those secrets with you,” Shelby said. She smiled and turned her attention back to Phillip.

  Phillip wordlessly looked around at everyone with the biggest smirk Xavier had ever seen on a person’s face. He did this for so long, that after a while, a couple of people, including Xavier, looked at everyone else with question, wondering if they knew what was going on or if they’d missed something in their notes.

  After what had probably only been a full minute, Phillip said, “I bet you’re all wondering why I am sitting here with this bigger than normal smirk on my face.”

  “Yeah, I thought I might have missed something,” Travis said. “Or at least thought we all must have done something wrong.”

  “When I smirk like this, Shelby knows something is up. And when she does the same to me, I know something in our marriage is a little off kilter.”

  Phillip stood and faced the dry erase board. “You may have done something wrong, but only you’ll be able to determine what it is.”

  Phillip wrote the acronym S.M.I.R.K. on the board in uppercase letters.

  “Today we’ll be talking about agreement as it relates to marriage. Please know that there is power in agreement. Matthew 18:19 says, Again I say unto you, That if two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven.

  “Just like communication, agreement is vital to a relationship. Marriages and families require not only structure, but the responsibility of some type of agreed upon agreement; whether it is to agree or to agree to disagree. This will require much discipline. There are five vital areas of agreement which will be pivotal to the restructuring of your marriages.”

  Phillip turned to the board again, writing what each of the letters in the acronym meant.

  “Sex, Money, Intangibles, Religion, and Kids. These are key areas in which you and your spouse will want to make sure there is some type of verbal agreement. You’ll need to sit down without disruption and know what your feelings are on these subjects. You may even need to discuss each of these areas in more than just one sitting,” Phillip said.

  The whole while Phillip spoke, Shelby nodded her head, agreeing with what her husband was saying. Xavier wasn’t sure if she was actually conscious of her movements. It looked like the agreement between them came so naturally.

  Xavier figured whatever problems they had in their marriage must not have been any where near the magnitude he’d been having with Charlotte. But he longed to one day have his wife sitting next to him supporting him one hundred percent, patting him on
his back.

  “There may be some areas which you and your spouse have discussed and other areas which you’ve only allowed the grey matter in your brains to play with, letting things take their own course. So like a toddler walking around in a China shop, you can’t let some things go unsaid, waiting for whatever results arise. You’ve got to be proactive when it comes to your marriages and the topics which can cause your buttons to be pushed,” Phillip said, smirking again. “That brings me to the first area of agreement: sex.”

  Dread enveloped Xavier. Why did the first topic of the day have to be about sex? Why did they even have to talk about sex at all? Sex was the thing that got him in trouble in the first place. Why couldn’t they just continue talking about communication? That’s all he really needed. He just needed for Charlotte to get over the phone call he’d received and talk to him so he could try again to reassure her that he was a changed man and would do whatever she wanted to make amends. He’d go to more counseling if need be. He’d stay off of the Internet. And he would definitely be changing his cell phone number. The last thing he needed was for Yasmine to start calling him again or to start stalking him.

  “I guess I could have said love instead of sex, but I couldn’t think of an acronym that would suffice with the letter L. Nonetheless, sex is actually a more appropriate word,” Phillip said. “Sex should be seen as something beautiful between a husband and a wife. When you talk to your spouse on this subject, you want to understand what specifically attracts you to the other person. You also want to know what the other person deems as romantic. Is it a candlelight dinner, or is it the candlelight without dinner?” Phillip smiled.

  At this comment, Nina grinned and George smiled also.

  Phillip continued. “We are all adults here. I’m not here to try to give you any ideas about what you should or shouldn’t do in your bedroom, bathroom, dining room or kitchen. What is done within the auspices of marriage is not defiled by God.

  “You just have to know what the other person likes or dislikes. With dialogue, come to some sort of agreement.”

  Phillip cleared his throat. “There are times when people think of the word sex with a negative connotation—mainly when it involves people who are unmarried. There are instances when one person is married but the person they are sleeping with isn’t.

  “Let me make this real clear to you all. There are two categories: married and unmarried. Everyone falls into one of these categories. When an unmarried person is brought into the equation of a married couple, the only thing it can lead to is disaster.”

  Xavier cracked his knuckles. It felt like Phillip was talking directly to him. Charlotte started moving uncomfortably in her chair.

  “And if there is a third wheel in a relationship, that’s a red light warning that you need to stop and talk,” Phillip said.

  Xavier hoped Phillip was going to impart some great words of wisdom or give him some other angle on how he should talk to Charlotte about the third wheel he’d been responsible for bringing into their marriage. Everything he’d tried so far hadn’t worked, and the more he talked, the more he felt like he was digging an even bigger hole for himself.

  He was just thankful Charlotte hadn’t found out about the other women he’d contacted and chatted with on the Internet. He was truly glad she didn’t know about the two other women he’d gotten extremely close to sleeping with: a girl named Angel that he’d actually met from the Internet, and Carly, their neighbor.

  “On the subject of sex, agree on what you will and will not do, what you can and cannot accept, and what your full expectations are with your spouse,” Phillip said.

  Charlotte ran her fingers through her hair while continuing to fidget nervously in her chair.

  “Any questions or comments so far?” Phillip asked.

  Xavier had lots of questions and even more comments, but remained closed mouthed. He hoped Charlotte wouldn’t pick this time to have a kumbaya moment with the group, sharing all of the intimate details and problems about the sex in their marriage. Luckily she hadn’t.

  Phillip moved on to the next topic: money. He stated couples should look at all the aspects that dealt not only with the handling of the money in a marriage, but spending plans and even career decisions.

  Xavier was glad that he and Charlotte hadn’t had any financial problems. In that area, they were sound. He just wished the same could be said when it came to his history of stepping out in his marriage.

  During the time Phillip spent talking about the importance of finances in a marriage, Nina had taken on a nervousness Xavier was surprised to see. George, on the other hand, looked like he could be popped with a safety pin if poked. The grin and smile they’d held when reminiscing about their behind closed doors undefiled activities were now wiped clean—without a trace.

  Xavier thought this odd. He knew G.I. Jones who’d been featured in Essence magazine and who had one of the fastest growing churches in the Eastern United States, had probably been enjoying millionaire status for at least a few years. The exposé the magazine had written and shown pictures of a ground breaking ceremony for his new church edifice, his and her luxury cars they had, and the sprawling two story mini-mansion he owned.

  Travis stared out toward the lake, his mind somewhere else. Eerily, Xavier wondered if the guy was daydreaming about the car commercials. His wife, Beryl, stared at Phillip, absently nodding her head every now and then. She looked tired and drained, as if she hadn’t rested well in a while.

  Phillip went on to discuss the intangibles, the little things in a marriage that can bother a person like a splinter imbedded just under the skin. Saying a splinter under the skin couldn’t sometimes be ignored, but eventually, if not taken care of, it could grow into an unwanted infection. Next he spoke about the importance of religion in a marriage and how couples need to discuss beliefs about denominations, salvation, and even levels of church involvement.

  Last he spoke about kids. At this, Xavier raised an eyebrow, as did Charlotte. Xavier had children from his previous marriage that his ex-wife hardly ever let him see. Even though the courts had awarded him designated holidays and three weeks in the summer with his children, his ex-wife was always coming up with last minute excuses as to why the kids couldn’t visit him.

  In addition to Charlotte being upset with him about his infidelity, she had also been frustrated because they hadn’t been able to have any children yet. They’d been trying ever since they’d gotten married. Charlotte was an only child and wanted at least two children, if not three. She’d often told Xavier how lonely she was as an only child and envied her friends who had siblings to play with or even exchange clothing with. She didn’t want to have just one child who’d have to endure the same loneliness she had.

  To date, after four and a half years of being married, Charlotte had not gotten pregnant. Xavier had encouraged her on more than one occasion to talk to her doctor about it. He’d even done some research on the Internet, finding there were medical procedures that might be able to help them; especially if there were any problems.

  But Charlotte hadn’t wanted a doctor probing and prodding her. She just wanted to trust that if they were meant to have children, God would make it happen. Some days she let the fact that they didn’t have any children roll off her back. Other days, Xavier saw the sadness in her eyes; especially when they went to church and saw many couples with their newborn babies, or whenever her church friends would tell her they were pregnant.

  Xavier could tell by the look in Charlotte’s eyes that today, the subject of children wasn’t going to roll off her back with ease.

  “Oh yes, the loving and sometimes touchy subject of kids,” Phillip said. “Children are wonderful gifts from God. We must always remember this. But when children are added to the marriage equation, your need to communicate and agree increases. With children involved, you are at a whole new level.

  “They come into this world needing everything. They can’t even hold their little heads up, so yo
u as a parent have to help them even with that small thing. Someone has to take on the task of feeding and cleaning them. And in the beginning, it is all so new and exciting.

  “Then after a while things get a little more intense, ever so gradually. Those cute little diapers with the little bit of poop turn into bigger diapers with a load you’d never imagined could come from such a little person.”

  “Uh-huh.” Beryl nodded her head in agreement.

  “Early on, you might find yourself having to discuss and agree on the smallest things like how many children you want to have and how you’ll raise them,” Phillip said.

  Phillip looked at Shelby. “Sometimes life throws us a curve ball, adding a little baby mama or baby daddy drama.”

  Shelby looked into her husband’s eyes and moved her hand to squeeze his forearm.

  “But with communication, mutual respect, and a little give and take, you can master raising the children God has blessed you with,” Phillip said.

  Shelby nodded her head and raised her hand in a church type waving motion.

  “And any curve balls life throws your way,” Phillip added, placing his hand on his chest. “I’m a witness.”

  At this statement, Xavier, as well as everyone else, did a double take. Now he was really curious as to what type of problems Phillip and Shelby experienced during their marriage. He didn’t have the nerve to ask, but he figured sooner or later, Travis would open his big mouth and bring up the subject.

  Chapter 14

  Xavier Knight

  Tuesday: 12:00 P.M.

  Xavier stepped out on to the wrap around porch of the cabin, pleased to find Charlotte alone sitting on one of the four oversized rocking chairs. The air had chilled, but it wasn’t cold enough for them to need a sweater or coat.

  He took a seat in the chair closest to his wife, but didn’t say a word. He was just glad to see she wasn’t fleeing off the porch to get away from him. Just being close to her was enough. He appreciated not being in a tense room full of people talking about subjects like sex and children—subjects that seemed to be pushing him and his wife farther apart instead of bring them closer.