Infraction
Page 16
“I, uh . . .” The uh sounds so moronic in the robot voice that I finally do laugh.
“Take your time,” she says, and shoots daggers at Dr. Benedict. She covers her mouth with her hand to hide her whisper, but I can still hear her. “Is this expected?”
“The side effects of our truth serums are never predictable.” He studies me over steepled hands. “Always fascinating, though.”
“I don't care about fascinating, Benedict. I care about answers. Give her another dose.”
He frowns. “Overdosing has never been tested or approved, even on inmates.”
“I don't care.” She enunciates each word, spitting them out at him.
He pushes back in his chair. “If this goes wrong, the watchers will show that you were the one to destroy our only evidence of the colonies.”
She hesitates for a moment, but then she sees I'm watching. She raises her chin and scowls. She nods to Dr. Benedict. “Do it.”
He shrugs. “It's your neck on the line.”
As he stalks toward me, another syringe glittering, that small part of me screams and finally shatters the walls.
“It won't work,” I say, more sure about this than anything else.
He stops, puzzled at my words. “I don't think you understand how truth serums work, Terra.” He clears his throat, surprising all three of us with the use of my name. Old habits, I guess.
“And I don't think you understand how I work.” The words flow fast and hot. They don't sound like me—they never will—but I'm grateful right now that I have a voice and they can hear the contempt in it. “You think I was tortured or abused and that's how I lost my tongue?”
The look in his eyes tells me that yes, that's exactly what he thinks.
“You're wrong. I gave up my tongue.”
The agent sits back in her chair, her eyes wide. My neighbor in solitary was right. It feels amazing to be in control, even for just a short while.
“That was the price to leave the colonies: to never be able to speak of them, to never be able to give them up to people like you.”
Dr. Benedict hesitates, the syringe in his hand trembling. He looks to the agent to see if he should proceed, but she's just staring at me with her mouth gaping open.
“At the time I didn't get why that would be so important, but I did it anyway because I wanted to leave. Now I understand why I was asked to do it. And you know what? I would do it a thousand times over. That's the kind of loyalty you will never be able to reproduce with those serums of yours. I have nothing more to say.”
I rip the collar from my throat and throw it at the agent. It hits her in the shoulder before she can even flinch. But when it does, it snaps her from her shocked stupor and she jumps to her feet.
“Give her the injection.” Her words shiver all over me like ice.
Dr. Benedict doesn't object.
I'm used to the burning from just a few minutes ago, so the fluid doesn't hurt me like it did then. But as soon as it starts to do its thing, I have a splitting headache. Thankfully my mind is able to see it coming and it can't leech onto my brain like it did before, but it still hurts like nothing I've ever experienced. I grab my head and double over.
“If it kills her, you're responsible,” Dr. Benedict says as he checks my pulse. I'm barely aware of his hands on the inside of my wrist. “And I doubt she'll be answering any more questions today.”
“Take her to her cell.”
The door opens and two soldiers grab my arms. As the door swings closed behind me, I hear the agent say, “How did she know about the serum?”
I smile before the pain in my head makes me black out.
Chapter Seventeen
I wake up to Jane's blue eyes, her face about a foot from my own, her blond hair making a waterfall around us. I try to blink away the aching in my head.
“Are you okay?”
I shake my head. I've never had a headache last more than a few minutes. This has faded to a dull throbbing, but it's not as paralyzing as it was right after the injection. That has to be a good sign.
“You were out for three days. I could barely get you up enough to get some water in you.”
I sit upright. Three days? How is that even possible? I grab her hand. When do we leave?
“Tonight.”
This isn't possible. I can't have missed these days. They were crucial to finalize our plans and get us out of here. Jane puts a hand on my shoulder and eases me back against the mattress. Then she hands me a piece of bread.
What's this?
“Bread.”
I roll my eyes. From where?
“A soldier brought a few things to the door. Said something about one of the agents not wanting you to die.”
I smile. Dr. Benedict was right. It probably just about killed the agent to provide me room service. I scarf down the bread, and it sticks in my dry throat, but I gag it down. I haven't eaten since before solitary. Jane offers me a water bottle.
Then something that's been nagging at the back of my mind, something the thought of solitary reminds me of, comes back to the front.
Is there a way out through the basement?
Jane frowns, chewing her bottom lip. “Maybe. Madge would know. Why?”
There's someone we need to take with us.
“Is there room on the sub?”
Yes. It's a lie, there probably won't be room, but I write it anyway. It's the only answer that will save my neighbor from her punishment.
“It's almost breakfast. Are you going to get up?”
I don't want to. My brain feels like it might explode out of my head, but the small bit of bread didn't do anything to fill me up. And what has Kai been eating the past few days while I've missed meals? I swing my legs over the edge of the bunk and instantly regret it. I don't know what exactly the overdose of truth serum did to me, but I feel like there's a fire in my feet and it's spreading up my legs. I groan.
“Are you sure you can do this?”
I nod. I'm not going to lie in bed all day. Not today, when I need to talk to Madge and make sure everything is in place. I can't just leave all of them to fend for themselves. I know Mary could take care of them, get them out of here until they could meet up with Jack and Dave. Then the three of them could more than get them to the ocean. But I took responsibility for them personally when I concocted this inane plan. I need to get them through it.
Jane offers her thin arm, and I lean on it to walk to the door. The light from the window swirls around my head three times before I cock my head, squint just right, and make the spinning stop. The vials are gone, and my heart leaps into my throat. Jane puts another hand on my arm to calm my panic.
“They're in my pants. We need to get them to Kai so she can have them in the commissary.”
Of course. The plan is put into action today. I need to relax, take a few deep breaths—not that it will really help. I'm sure I'll be a wired mess today, but I need to do a better job so the soldiers and agents won't suspect something's going on.
Jane guides me all the way to the mess hall, and Madge starts to stand when she sees us come in.
“I thought they killed you,” she says matter-of-factly.
I shake my head and take her hand. Feels like they tried.
“We still on for tonight?”
I nod at Jane, and she makes a show of putting an arm around me to help me sit down. Madge hurries around to join her. Jane slips Kai the vials of serum, and Kai slides them into her waistband. A soldier walks over.
“Sit down.”
Madge hurries back to her seat without a word.
The soldier watches us. My heart thuds in my chest, and I wonder if he saw the vials. He isn't making a move, though, and I can hear him breathing behind his mask. The effects of the serum are still lingering through my brain, and my mind wanders from the immediate danger. Instead of wishing he'd go away, I start wondering if he fogs up his mask breathing like that. I stifle a giggle.
Finally he does leave,
and as soon as he's out of earshot, Jane leans in to ask Madge my question. I slide a pancake to Kai.
Madge taps her fork against her teeth. “I've worked laundry down there a few times, and there's a chute that runs from the laundry room to a grate a couple feet behind the women's wing. Why? I thought we were going out the loading dock.”
“There's someone in solitary who's coming with us,” Jane says.
“How many are we taking, Terra?” Madge's voice is harsh, but not unkind. I know her concern. The more of us there are, the greater the chance of capture.
Enough.
She looks at me hard, her eyes narrowing. “You're planning something. I can see it.”
I shrug, trying to look nonchalant, but it's so hard with my body not completely under my control yet. I feel like my face is going to spasm any second now. I glance at the observation booth. The agents aren't watching me, for once.
You have the cutters?
Madge's one task (besides coming up with the plan) was to steal a pair of heavy wire cutters from reclamation. We'll use them to cut through the fencing along the perimeter of the camp.
She rolls her eyes. “You really have to ask?”
I smile and one corner of my mouth sags.
Madge gnaws on the end of a dry sausage and laughs. “I don't know what they did to you, but you look horrendous.”
Double dose of truth serum.
Her smile vanishes. “Do they know anything?”
I'm a colonist. I don't think they would dream to ask if I was involved in an escape plan.
“I'm sorry.”
I can't tell how sorry she really is. The conflict rages all over her face: hating the colonists out of habit and coming to grips that she might just be living with them soon.
Mary's eyes harden. “What did you tell them?”
There are fourteen colonies. Nothing more.
“Nothing?”
I shake my head.
“You fought the serum?” Madge asks incredulously. “That's impossible. I haven't heard of anyone fighting the serum.”
I got an overdose for it.
She whistles through her teeth. “You're tougher than I thought.”
The intercom declares work hours, and we stand up. Kai leans in. “I'll give them the crazy juice at dinner time. Be ready.”
We file toward the doors. My tray trembles as I put it on the counter. Red, rough hands take it and put it in hot water. I don't look at the face that belongs to those abused hands. I stopped looking at faces when we planned our escape because I knew I'd want to take them all with me, and there isn't room for that, and I don't know if there will be a next time.
My mind is cloudy as I work in the sewing room. I'm more careful this time, and Jane slows down so I can follow her every movement. Jane threads her machine, and I imitate her motions precisely. This stupid machine is what got me in so much trouble in the first place; I won't let it beat me, and I thrust all other thoughts from my mind. I won't attract attention, and I won't give them any excuse to lash out at me. I need to get through this day unnoticed.
By the time the intercom crackles that it's dinner time, there's a pile of crudely mended work clothes in the basket next to me. I stand, flex my fingers, and follow Jane to the mess hall. Now my fingers ache. They were the one part of me spared from the truth serum, and now they hurt worse than the rest of me. My hands weren't made for such intricate work.
We sit at our table, and Kai is gone—on her work hours, and hopefully pouring vials of serum into the agents' and soldiers' food. My meal is tasteless. Well, more so than usual. I shovel each bite in, but it hardly registers in my mouth. I have no appetite for it, but I'll need the energy on our run tonight. I force myself to swallow it down.
Jane hands the keycard to Madge under the table. Madge is the only one who knows exactly where all of our cells are, and she doesn't have a cellmate, so she'll be able to get out without a tag-along. The plan is that she'll slip a magnet she stole from reclamation to put on the door latch as it closes behind her for the night. This is the riskiest part of the plan. Admittedly, the soldiers always have their back turned as soon as we're in our cells, but if she's caught doing this, there will be no escape tonight, the agents and soldiers will figure out who poisoned them, and Kai—if not all of us—will be severely punished. Madge knows the weight of this. For once, her eyes don't shine in defiance, but in apprehension.
The intercom dismisses us, and we don't look at each other as we file back to our cells. Jane and I go in and sit on the top bunk. There won't be any movement for a few hours now. We'll just sit and wait.
Jane wraps her arms around herself. On any other night, she'd nestle up to my side, and we'd sit and watch the sun go down, seeing our only glimpse of a world outside the camp for those few hours before we fall asleep. Now she sits a foot away from me, wringing her hands—she's a bundle of nervous tension. I start tapping my foot and put my head in my hands. I need something—anything—to keep my mind off of what we're about to do.
My memories flick back to Jack in the forest as we wandered, the way he watched me, but held back for me. He knew I needed that. The way he ate the awful bread and didn't complain. The way he held me in the dark hollow while we hid from the soldiers. The way his mouth curled up into the smile that told me he loved me even if he couldn't with his words. The way I crave that smile. My eyes widen in realization.
It's real. And I feel it too.
I would say it out loud if I could. The stump of my tongue aches to form the words that would tell Jack how I feel about him. How I always felt about him but was too scared to see it. I look to the window where the sun settles below the ocean, the last golden light illuminating dust motes in the room.
I love Jack. My heart swells and all I can think about is his kind face, kind eyes, kind hands. He would never hurt me. I would never hurt him. We're alike. That's what brought us together in the first place; it's what kept us together. It's what's going to get me through this escape tonight because, one way or another, I'm going to be with Jack, and we're going to be free together.
The anthem plays so loudly it cuts through my thoughts, and all I want to do is put my hands over my ears and get that song out of my head. I remind myself that this will be the last night I listen to it here.
The light leeches out of the room, replaced with violet dark, and Jane is a pale ghost next to me. The first moans of the night start up. These are in the cells in our hall, much too close to be the soldiers or agents. I grit my teeth and wait.
After what seems like days, another set of moaning begins, and then screams. These are men's voices, and they sound monstrous after only hearing the women's wails for so many nights. The serum has finally kicked in, and I can imagine what the soldiers are going through. Do they see themselves as the horrible insects both Madge and my brain conjured up, or do they see themselves as fluffy bunnies?
Jane tenses next to me as the crescendo swells, and we climb down to the floor. Madge should be here any minute. We grab our extra set of clothes and a water bottle.
Then there's a click and the door swings open. Madge peers in and waves us out. She's already collected Mary and Kai, and we make our way down the dark halls. Madge leads us. She knows these paths better than any of us. I'd be useless in the dark here, but as soon as we're out in the woods, then I'll be the one leading them along through the dark.
My heart hammers as a scream echoes down the corridor. The lights flicker on and off. Someone must be trying to get them on, trying to get rid of the shadows that just make things worse. Madge raises one hand in the air and we freeze. She peers around the corner into an intersection of hallways and then presses herself flat against the wall. We all do the same.
The lights go out again, and in two seconds, a soldier barrels around the corner, screaming and tearing off his mask. He stares blindly past us, and now that his face is revealed, I marvel at how young he is. He might be my age, maybe a year older. How young do they start train
ing the soldiers to kill us? He pauses for a moment—maybe wondering why human faces peer back at him from the wall—and then he races past us, and his screams fade with him.
We start down the hall again, headed toward the basement door. I don't think I could ever forget the way there. The tile walls are pockmarked with bullet holes. I never heard a gun go off, but sometime between the screams starting up and now, someone took a gun to the wall. I just hope we don't figure into anyone's hallucinations and no one pulls a gun on us. That's one thing we didn't account for: sure it would be fun to get the soldiers and agents drugged up, but no one talked about what would happen if we came across them.
When we get to the basement door, an agent slumps against it, blocking the way. Her eyes are closed and her breathing is shallow. I don't know if she's unconscious, and I'm not sure if we should move her. These people are dangerous if they have any kind of weapon.
Before I can stop her, Madge shoves the woman out of the way. The agent's eyes flash open, and they're bright with fear and aggression. I see the pen in her hand only a moment before she swings it and stabs Madge in the arm. There's no way she should be strong enough to do that on her own, but with the serum burning its way through her veins, there's no telling what she is capable of.
Madge curses, shoves the agent away, and sags against the wall. The woman falls to the floor and her tablet shatters into pieces. She scurries from us like a crab, her heels scraping across the linoleum. Madge clenches her teeth and pulls the pen out with a gush of blood. I grab my extra shirt and wrap it tightly around the wound, and Madge swears at me the whole time. There's still blood on the floor, and when people wake up around here and the serum wears off, they'll know exactly where we've gone.
“Hurry,” Mary says. “This is falling apart.”
I knot the shirt around Madge's arm one more time, and then we fly through the basement door, not caring if it clangs open. Everyone knows we're out; I just don't think they know exactly who or what we are right now. I don't want to wait for them to find out.
At the bottom of the stairs, I pause for a second, listening if my neighbor is awake. I hear steady breathing, no moaning. I knock on her door.