Love Inspired February 2014 - Bundle 1 of 2: The Cowboy's Reunited FamilyThe Forest Ranger's ReturnMommy Wanted

by Brenda Minton

  Kristen jostled the baby on her hip. “Do you want to hold her?”

  No! Julie knew nothing about holding a baby, but the invitation caught her off guard. “I, um, sure.”

  Kristen handed the infant over, and Julie clutched the little girl around the middle with both hands. Little Clarisse hung suspended in the air, sucking on her fist. She gazed at Julie with wide blue eyes. And then the baby laughed. An exuberant chortle that made Julie blink in surprise.

  “Hey! She likes you,” Kristen said.

  “She sure does.” Lyn curled her bare feet beneath her and sat on the leather sofa.

  Julie didn’t know what to say. Didn’t know what to do. Prickles of panic rushed up her throat. She hadn’t held a baby since...since she couldn’t remember when. But as she looked into the eyes of this innocent little being, so vulnerable and trusting, Julie’s insides dissolved into mush.

  “Do you have kids?” Lyn asked.

  “No, I’ve never married.”

  “Well, you’re a natural mom. Anyone can see that.”

  A creeping heat stole its way over Julie’s face. She’d given up on marriage and kids long ago, but that didn’t mean she didn’t want them. Life just hadn’t provided them. Not with her aversion to most men. So she’d learned to settle for what she did have.

  As Clarisse kicked her bare legs, Julie couldn’t help cuddling the little girl close within the crook of her arm. A domestic feeling of tenderness flooded Julie’s heart with regret. How she wished she could have...

  No! She couldn’t think that way. It wasn’t fair to torture herself over something she didn’t have. Instead, she focused on the good in her life. Like right now, sitting in this comfy home with a baby in her arms.

  Clarisse waved her tiny hands and made several happy panting sounds, shredding the rest of Julie’s resistance. She snuggled Clarisse close, catching the clean scent of her skin. Before she could think to stop herself, Julie brushed her lips against the baby’s soft forehead in a spontaneous kiss.

  Dallin Savatch chose that precise moment to walk through the front door. Another tall, dark-haired man accompanied him.

  Julie flinched and sat up straight, feeling startled and exposed.

  “Howdy.” The stranger flashed a smile.

  “Hello.” Julie tensed, trying not to let Dal’s intense gaze snag hers as she focused on the other man.

  “Julie, this is my husband, Cade. And I believe you already know Dal,” Lyn said.

  “Y-yes. I’m pleased to meet you, Dr. Baldwin.” Old feelings of discomfort washed over Julie. She felt suddenly inappropriate, as if she’d done something wrong. She didn’t belong here with this wonderful family. She didn’t belong anywhere. She should have asked Lyn to come into town to meet at her office. There, Julie wouldn’t have to cuddle a cute baby. There, she could keep her wits about her and a measure of control.

  And avoid Dal’s penetrating eyes.

  “Hi, Julie.” His deep voice filled the air, as though he resented her being here.

  She should leave. Right now.

  His gaze dipped down to the baby and then back up to Julie’s face. His shoulders tensed, and in his eyes, Julie saw something. A flash of reservation. She wasn’t sure. As if he couldn’t believe she was sitting here holding an infant.

  Julie couldn’t believe it, either.

  “Clarisse really likes you,” Cade said.

  “Yes, it’s incredible, isn’t it?” Lyn agreed.

  A shiver of nervousness bristled down Julie’s spine. “Why is it so amazing?”

  “Clarisse won’t go to just anyone,” Dal said. “She usually screams her head off. Even I can’t get her to let me hold her.”

  “Oh. I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t be. I’m glad she likes you.” He coughed and looked away, as though he’d confided too much.

  Standing, Julie handed the baby back to Kristen. “I think she needs her diaper changed.”

  Okay, it was an excuse. A pretext to let go of the baby and focus on her work. After all, that was why she’d come here today. Not to make friends, and certainly not to bond with someone else’s children.

  A buzzer sounded in the kitchen, and Lyn hopped off the couch. “You men are just in time. The first batch of cookies is done. I’ll be right back.”

  Lyn disappeared into the kitchen.

  “I’ll go change Clarisse.” Kristen carried the baby down a hallway toward the back of the house.

  Alone with the two men, Julie felt a stutter of confusion. This meeting wasn’t going quite as she’d planned. She and Lyn were supposed to be alone, to quietly discuss Forest Service issues.

  “Dal tells me you’re old friends from high school.” Cade slumped back on the couch, his smiling gaze on her face.

  She glanced at Dal, feeling uncomfortable. “Yes, we knew each other once.”

  “How do you like your new job?” Cade asked.

  Dal continued to stand beside the door, his hands in his pockets, his ears slightly red.

  “Very well, thank you. There’s a lot to learn, but I’m enjoying it so much,” Julie said, glad to be talking about anything but her and Dal’s past relationship.

  Cade chuckled and crossed one leg over his opposite knee, looking casual and relaxed. “Don’t worry. You’ll pick it up soon enough. Most of the ranchers in the area are pretty reasonable. Lyn can give you some pointers on how to cope with those who are more difficult.”

  Good. That was the kind of information Julie needed. Not babies and cookies and hazel-eyed men from her past.

  “Here they are. Fresh and hot from the oven.” Lyn entered the room carrying a tray with a plate of cookies and glasses of milk. The tantalizing aroma wafted through the air.

  During the next fifteen minutes, they all sat and consumed the soft oatmeal-raisin cookies. For the most part, Julie and Dal remained silent while Lyn and Cade kept up the conversation. They discussed the new horse trail and campsite, the expected timeline and what work might be required. Kristen returned and handed Clarisse over to her daddy. Cade smooched the infant’s neck, then endeavored to feed her small pieces of cookie. Clarisse gummed the crumbs with a great deal of enthusiasm and her parents laughed. Even Julie couldn’t resist cracking a smile.

  “Dal tells us you dated in high school,” Lyn said.

  Julie wrenched her gaze around, wondering if there was anyone on this ranch who wasn’t going to ask her the same question. “Um, yes. That’s right. But that was a long time ago.”

  “It must be fun to meet up with an old boyfriend after all these years,” Lyn said.

  Julie didn’t respond, struggling to keep the smile pasted on her face. She rested one hand along the armrest of her chair, fingering the downy softness of Clarisse’s baby blanket.

  “I think it’s time I got back to work. I’ll see you tomorrow morning.” Dal stood and, with a quick nod toward Julie, headed for the front door.

  Cade released a sigh of resignation. “Me, too. Nice to have met you, Julie. I’ll look forward to working with you on our trail project.”

  He kissed Clarisse on the forehead, then handed the baby over to her mother.

  “Yes, the horse trail should be quite an adventure.” Julie tried to sound positive when she was feeling the complete opposite.

  In turn, Cade kissed his wife on the lips and Kristen on the forehead, then left, pulling the door closed behind him.

  Julie breathed a silent sigh of relief. With the men gone, her racing nerves settled back to a normal pace. No matter how nice they were, being around men made her nervous. They just did.

  Especially Dal. Although for different reasons she didn’t dare contemplate.

  Eyeing Julie’s briefcase, Lyn made a suggestion. “Why don’t we go into the kitchen so we can use the table? Then
we’ll have room to spread out and talk.”

  “That’s a great idea.”

  “Kristen, will you watch Clarisse for a little while?” Lyn asked.

  The girl nodded and slipped her arms around the baby.

  As the women stood and made their way into the other room, Julie reminded herself that this was her first ranger district, and she was eager to perform to the best of her ability. She was educated and experienced and knew how to do her job. Outside of work, she didn’t want to get involved with Dal and his best friend’s family. Next time—if there was a next time—she’d ask Lyn to come into town to meet with her there.

  Remembering her jogging commitment with Dal, Julie inwardly groaned. As it stood, she would be forced to spend more time with Dal every morning. Unless she did something to change that.

  Maybe it was time she purchased a treadmill to use inside the comfort of her own home. She could make some kind of excuse to Dal, but knew that might hurt his feelings. Plus, she didn’t want to do that. She hated admitting it, but she liked running with Dal. And that was just the problem. For twenty years, she’d purposefully avoided any personal attachments. A lone woman apart. But that had changed in a matter of weeks. Because, like it or not, she now cared what Dal thought. And caring about a man scared her most of all.

  * * *

  “You’re awful quiet,” Cade said.

  Standing inside the stable, Dal barely spared the other man a glance as he picked up a pitchfork. Max, Cade’s Australian cow dog, lay nearby, panting.

  Dal pitched hay to the horses. “I don’t have anything to say.”

  “You didn’t tell me she was so pretty,” Cade said.

  Dal looked up and tried to keep his expression blank. “Who?”

  Cade tossed a handful of straw at him in a teasing gesture. “Julie, that’s who. And don’t try to pretend you don’t know who I’m talking about.”

  With a shrug, Dal set the pitchfork aside and reached for a bucket of oats. “Yeah, I suppose she’s pretty enough.”

  “You suppose?” Cade stared in surprise. Then his mouth quirked in a knowing smirk. “Oh, I see. You loved her. Just how serious was your relationship with her when you were in high school together?”

  Dal flinched. He couldn’t help himself. But he didn’t say a word.

  “You don’t want to tell me about it?” Cade asked.

  “Nope.” Dal walked the length of the stable, his boot heels pounding against the floorboards in rhythm with the beat of his heart. Hoping Cade would give up on the topic and leave, Dal stepped inside the stall of one of their mares.

  Cade followed, and so did Max. When they all stopped, the dog slumped down on the floorboards while Cade cupped his hands over the top handle of a manure rake. “You told me she’s single. Are you gonna ask her out?”

  “Nope.” Dal set the pail down with a muffled thump and patted the mare’s neck as she lowered her head to eat.

  “Why not?”

  A feeling of helpless anguish crushed Dal’s chest. “You know I don’t date. Not for years now.”

  Cade snorted. “I’m not asking you to marry the woman. Just go out and have some fun for a change. What could it hurt?”

  Dal shot his best friend a withering glare. “I can’t afford to take the chance, Cade. What if she falls in love with me? You know I have nothing to offer a woman. I’d only break her heart.”

  “Are you afraid she’ll fall in love with you, or that you might fall in love with her?”

  “Both,” Dal growled. “The outcome would be the same. Broken hearts.”

  He stalked over to the grain barrel and scooped oats into another bucket.

  “That’s hogwash,” Cade said. “Julie isn’t Barbara. I can tell after one meeting that Julie’s not the kind to dump you just because you have a prosthetic leg.”

  Dal lifted his brows. “Barb dumped me for more reasons than just my leg.”

  Cade released a disgusted huff. “She always was a superficial witch. I never liked her.”

  “That’s harsh. You hardly knew her.”

  “I knew enough. But Julie is different. I saw the way she looks at you. She doesn’t even notice your leg. She’s too busy trying to avoid your eyes. She blushed at least a dozen times while you two were together. She likes you. A lot. And you like her. So why not ask her out?”

  Dal slammed the bucket down on a plank workbench, and Cade flinched. “It’s not that simple, Cade, and you know it. If it were just a matter of dealing with my prosthetic leg, I could cope with that. But the IED caused more damage than that. I may never be able to father a child. You think I want to saddle Julie, or any woman, with a husband like that? Julie deserves kids. Lots of them. And I may not be able to give her that. I can’t give her anything.”

  A heavy silence followed Dal’s outburst. Dal hated discussing his dark secret. As a result, very few people knew the truth. And Dal preferred it that way.

  The two men stared at each other. The best of friends. Closer than two brothers could ever be. And yet, Dal stood alone in his misery.

  “You’ll never know, unless you try. Isn’t the possibility of a happy life together worth giving it a shot?” Cade asked.

  “No. I can’t take that chance. I won’t put Julie through that,” Dal insisted.

  A horrible, swelling silence followed.

  “Look, Dal. You saved my life when we were in Afghanistan.” Cade spoke in a slow, soothing voice. “I’ve never forgotten how you came in with the special-ops team to rescue me when I was a prisoner of war. You pushed me out of the way and took the brunt of that explosion yourself. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be here today. I owe you everything. And I can’t stand to see the toll that sacrifice has taken on you. You have the right to be happy, too. You can have a fulfilling life with one special woman. You don’t need kids for that.”

  Dal shook his head, his mouth tightening with his ghastly memories of war. “I’ve never once regretted saving your life, Cade. I never will. But did you just see Julie holding Clarisse? That woman deserves kids of her own. I don’t have a choice, but Julie does. She deserves so much more than I can ever give her.”

  “Why don’t you let Julie decide that for herself?” Cade said. “Usually a woman marries a man because she loves him, not for the children they might have together.”

  “Yeah, and can you picture me asking her out? I can hear me now. Excuse me, Julie,” Dal’s voice took on a mocking tone, “but I may not be able to father a child. Would you go out with me anyway? We don’t need to fall in love or marry. Let’s just have a good time. And if we ever get serious, you’ll just have to live with disappointment. How does that sound?”

  An abrasive laugh slipped from Cade’s throat and he clapped his hands, as if in applause for Dal’s performance. “Bravo. Very nice. But cynicism doesn’t become you, buddy. You know, there’s always adoption.”

  “And what if Julie doesn’t want to adopt? What if she wants to have kids of her own? If I married, how long before my wife starts to resent and hate me?”

  “If she really loved you, it would never become an issue,” Cade said.

  Dal lifted his brows. “Oh, really? Can you predict the future, then? I thought Barb loved me, but she took one look at my amputated leg and ran for the hills, screaming. I think she would have tolerated the prosthesis, but when she heard the rest of the news, that was it. She didn’t love me enough. And I can’t blame her.”

  Turning, he jerked on a pair of leather gloves, then reached for a bale of straw and half dragged, half carried it to one of the clean stalls. Cade did likewise. Dal wished the other man would just leave him alone.

  “You’re right,” Cade said. “Barb didn’t love you. Not really. Not if she couldn’t see the great man you are in spite of losing your leg.”

  Dal snorted. “
I’m tired of this worn-out topic.”

  “Remember when you first came to town?” Cade asked. “I was avoiding going out with Lyn, and you gave me some good advice. Do you remember what you said?”

  The grating sound of Dal grinding his teeth together was his reply. But yes, he remembered as if it was yesterday.

  “You said, you care for that woman and she cares for you. Nothing else matters.” Cade paused for the count of two. “You also told me to take her flowers. Daisies, because they wouldn’t come on too strong until I asked her out. Do you remember? Julie’s different from Barb. You said she lost her parents and ended up in foster care. She might be the one woman to understand and see you for the great man you really are.”

  Filled with a surge of anger, Dal lifted the bale up and heaved it into the stall. The binding around the bale broke and straw spewed everywhere. As Dal drew back, he nearly stepped on Max, and the dog skittered out of his way. “Yeah, half a man. That’s what she’ll see. That’s all I’ll ever be.”

  Cade set his bale down and dusted off his hands. “You’re more than that, but you just won’t see it.”

  “We’re supposed to go up and view Gilway Trail in the morning. I’d rather you went with Julie instead of me,” Dal said.

  “No dice. I’ve got clinic duty. Lots of patients coming in. You’ll have to go with her.” Cade smiled.

  Dal whirled around and stared at his friend. “You can wipe that smirk off your face.”

  “And you should ask Julie out on a date.”

  “And you should mind your own business,” Dal groused.

  “Maybe we could double-date. Lyn would love that. And it would make conversation easier until you and Julie catch up on everything....”

  Dal slashed the air with his hand, cutting Cade off. “Leave it alone. I mean it. Let it go.”

  Turning, Dal stomped out of the stable and headed toward the meadow. He hoped Cade wasn’t following him. The way he was feeling right now, Dal might sock his best friend in the face. And then he’d have to explain to Lyn why he’d blackened her husband’s eye or broken his nose.