Love Inspired February 2014 - Bundle 1 of 2: The Cowboy's Reunited FamilyThe Forest Ranger's ReturnMommy Wanted

by Brenda Minton

  Julie groaned and whirled around, her face a contortion of disgust. Her eyes met his in a repentant smile. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

  “Don’t worry,” he encouraged. “You’re just warming up.”

  When her ball returned, she tried again, with the same results. A gutter ball.

  Without a word, she returned to the seats and plopped down beside him. He caught the delicate fragrance of her shampoo and tried not to inhale too deeply.

  No one spoke as Lyn took her practice turn. On her first roll, she knocked down eight pins, but missed the last two on her second throw.

  “Good try!” Cade gave a loud whoop. As he stood to take his turn, he hugged his wife tight, whispering something in her ear. She giggled and swatted his shoulder.

  And Dal wished he dared act that way with Julie. Like a real couple. Like they were in love and had the world in the palm of their hands.

  Dal went last, frustrated enough to throw a strong, spinning ball that battered down all the pins in one strike.

  Julie clapped and cheered for him. In spite of his anger at Cade, Dal couldn’t help being pleased. It’d been a long time since he’d been out on a date with a beautiful woman, and his fear warred with his desire to be with Julie.

  They soon started the game. This time, they would keep score. With concentration creasing her brow, Julie launched her ball toward the pin deck, but it rolled straight into the gutter. She stood there, a frown marring her brow. Dal couldn’t stand to see her so dejected.

  Walking over to her, he handed her another ball. Then he proceeded to give her some pointers. He stood with his chest close to her back, his arms around her to help support the ball. As he showed her how to draw her arm back straight, tendrils of her clean, lemon-scented hair tickled his chin. She turned her face to the side, listening to his instructions. His lips brushed against her warm cheek. A blast of awareness swept through him. Like a lightning rod, he zoned in on her magnetic attraction.

  “Okay, thanks. I think I can do it now,” she whispered.

  He stepped away and watched while she swung back her arm and let the ball fly down the alley. An explosion of sound filled the air as the ball plowed into the pins, knocking over all but one.

  “Yes! I did it. Thank you, Dal.” She gave a little hop and fisted her right hand in the air.

  Twirling around, she sought his gaze. He caught the eager glint in her eyes, the hope for his approval. He couldn’t help returning her wide smile.

  “That’s what I’m talking about. Well done,” he said.

  She beamed, her face glowing like an angel’s. He felt beyond proud of her accomplishment. Above all else, he wanted this woman to succeed. To be happy. It wouldn’t do himself or her any good to scowl and act grumpy just because Cade had set them up on a blind date without their knowledge.

  On her next go-around, Julie stood poised with her right hand over the air vent, waiting for the conveyer to do its work. When her ball appeared, she picked it up and stepped over to the line. She ran up to the line in a way that was distinctly her own style, and Dal gawked at the gentle swing of her hips. Again, he looked away, but not for long. At the thud of the ball, he stood and watched with rapt attention as it swept down the shiny planks of hard maple and struck the last pin.

  “Yay!” She hopped up and down.

  “That’s my girl,” he called, delighted by her efforts.

  Then he realized what he’d said and clamped his mouth shut. He must remain alert and be careful with his words. He must maintain control. For both of their good.

  “I’m afraid we might be in trouble. These two are pretty good.” Lyn smiled at her husband.

  “Julie’s a fast learner. The pressure is on.” Cade glanced at Dal. “Your turn, buddy.”

  “I’m not your buddy tonight. This is war,” Dal growled as he retrieved his bowling ball and moved over to the approach. With a powerful swing, he stepped forward and launched the ball down the lane.

  “Strike!” he called as the pins exploded into a pile. The sweep mechanism pushed the pins backward off the lane.

  Turning, he walked to the seating area while Cade logged his score.

  “Yep, you’re definitely in trouble tonight.” Dal gave his friend a potent look. If he got no other revenge, he planned to beat Cade tonight.

  Cade merely smiled good-naturedly and winked at Lyn. “Your turn, hon.”

  They all laughed and thoroughly enjoyed themselves. Dal couldn’t stay upset at Cade for long. They were too close and had a long history together. Since Dal was already here, he might as well have fun. In a way, he felt like a Cinderella man. This evening couldn’t last, and when it ended, he’d turn back into a plain old cripple and return to his regular lonely life.

  On Dal’s third frame, he got another strike—three in a row.

  “Turkey!” Julie called buoyantly.

  He spun around and spiked one of his brows upward. “Are you calling me a turkey?”

  “No, but when you get three strikes in a row, it’s called a turkey. Isn’t it?”

  He laughed. “So it is.”

  A short time later, after Dal and Julie had won the first game, they chowed down on an all-meat and cheese pizza. Sitting together in a booth, they laughed as they discussed the funny antics of some of the kids at Sunrise Ranch.

  “I can’t believe the change in Marcus.” Cade spoke to Dal and Julie. “You two sure have made a difference for him.”

  “Yes, that boy is definitely not the same as he used to be,” Lyn agreed. “He’s so pleasant and helpful around the ranch lately. His social worker came out to check on him yesterday and said she could hardly believe he was the same child.”

  Dal jutted his chin toward Julie. “It was Julie’s doing, not mine.”

  Julie’s face flushed an attractive shade of pink. “I think we all made a difference for Marcus. It wasn’t just one person’s doing. It takes a village, you know?”

  “Yes, it sure does. But you’re amazing with the kids, Julie.” Lyn smiled with admiration.

  “Thanks,” Julie said.

  Cade lifted an arm to wrap around Lyn’s shoulders. “So when are we gonna start work on Gilway Trail?”

  “The fifth of September,” Julie said.

  Dal rested an elbow on the tabletop. “That’s kind of late in the year, isn’t it?”

  She glanced at him, then looked down at her soft drink. “Not really. It’s late enough that the harsh summer heat will be gone, but not so late that we’ll be dealing with inclement weather. And that’s when the Back Country Horsemen can participate. But don’t worry. All of the permits are in order, and we should have the trail and campsite finished by the first of October. You should be able to use the trail next summer without any problems.”

  “That’s great,” Cade said. “You’ve been a big help to us on that project.”

  “You’re welcome,” she said.

  “Your 5K race is coming up soon, isn’t it?” Lyn asked.

  Julie nodded. “Yes, in a couple more weeks.”

  “Are you two gonna be ready?” Cade asked, looking between her and Dal.

  “I am, but I don’t know about this guy.” Julie gave a competitive smile and jerked her thumb toward Dal, who sat beside her in the booth.

  “For me, it’s just fun. It’s not about the competition,” Dal said.

  “Are you two still running together every morning?” Lyn asked.

  Julie took a quick sip of soda from her straw, leaving Dal to answer.

  “Um, not lately.” Not liking where this subject might lead, he turned his body out of the booth and placed his feet together before standing. “Well, I’m ready for our next match. Let’s get to it.”

  Cade chuckled and stood, taking hold of Lyn’s hand to help her up. “Y
ou think we can beat them this time?”

  “Oh, yeah.” She gave him an easy smile.

  By the end of the night, the couples were tied.

  “Well, that’s it for me. I need to get home,” Julie said after the final match.

  Standing close beside her, Cade looked at Dal. “Can you drive Julie home? We picked her up, but we really need to get home to the kids now.”

  Dal’s jaw dropped. Just when he’d thought Cade could not stoop any lower, he was proved wrong.

  * * *

  Julie didn’t say much as Dal drove her home. From the tension in his shoulders, she knew he wasn’t happy about it. And she couldn’t blame him. Cade and Lyn both meant well, but they were pushing too hard. As much as Julie wished things could be different between them, she realized that Dal wasn’t ready to renew their romance. In fact, he might never be ready. And that brought a pang of sorrow to her heart.

  He turned on the headlights, then gripped the steering wheel with both hands as he drove down the dark streets. Not a lot of traffic. Just the calming lights gleaming from the tidy homes in Julie’s neighborhood.

  Dal pulled into her driveway and killed the engine. Before he could get out of the truck and walk her to her doorstep, she reached out and laid her hand on his arm.

  “Dal, I’m sorry about tonight. I know we were both kind of bushwhacked. I hope you’re not too upset with Cade.”

  He pursed his lips together and gave a noncommittal grunt. She couldn’t leave it at that. Her mind raced with words she longed to say. With feelings she yearned to express.

  “I don’t know how you feel about tonight, but this is the best nondate I’ve ever had.” She gave him a heartening smile, hoping to help lighten his mood.

  He shifted his hands off the steering wheel, and her fingers slipped away. “Yeah. Lots of fun.”

  She blinked. His voice sounded mocking. This was a new twist for Julie. Pursuing a man was alien to her. Something she’d avoided all her life. Taking a deep, settling breath, she plunged onward. “Actually, I’ve been wanting to talk with you for several days now, but we never seem to find time alone anymore.”

  “Talk about what?” He hitched a shoulder as he stared out the windshield. Not looking at her. Not moving. Just waiting.

  “Cade told me that something’s bothering you. A big secret you’re keeping to yourself.”

  He turned his head toward her, his eyes narrowed. “Cade had no right to tell you that.”

  “Don’t worry, he didn’t confide what it is. And it was my fault. I guessed long ago that something must be bothering you, so I asked him about it.”

  “And?”

  “And he told me to talk to you about it. So what’s your secret?”

  He snorted. “If I told you, then it wouldn’t be a secret anymore.”

  “You can trust me, Dal. There was a time when we didn’t keep anything from each other.”

  “Those days are long gone.” A cynical undertone tinged his words.

  “I’m worried about you. You can tell me about it. You know that.”

  “No, I can’t.” His features hardened, his body language telling her that he was anxious to get away. Like a cornered animal, desperate to flee.

  Okay, this wasn’t going to be as easy as she’d hoped. “Dal, for the longest time I’ve been alone. All by myself. And it wasn’t until I moved to Stokely and met up with you again that I realized I don’t like that. I...I want us to be close again. To be dear friends, like we were when we were kids. To trust each other. You see, I’ve fallen in love with you all over again, and I... I’d like us to take it further.”

  Okay, she’d laid everything on the table. Her heart and soul, just lying there, waiting for the cleaver to drop.

  He spun around and looked at her, his eyes filled with incredulity. “You love me?”

  “Yes, Dal. I love you. More than anything else in the world. And...and I’m hoping maybe you can love me again, too.”

  “Don’t say that.”

  She blinked. “Why?”

  “No, this isn’t happening. Not now, Julie. Not ever.”

  “Why? How long are you going to punish me for ending our relationship when we were teenagers? We were just kids, Dal. And I didn’t have a lot of choice back then.”

  “This isn’t about that, Julie.”

  She didn’t believe him. He’d never forgiven her for abandoning him. Maybe he never would. “Then what is this about?”

  “It has nothing to do with you. I...I don’t know what I can ever be with you.”

  She tilted her head to one side. “You don’t have to be anything with me. Just be the Dal I love and it will all work out fine.”

  He leaned his head back against the seat and clenched his eyes closed. “Oh, Julie. I wish it were that simple. I really do. But you don’t understand.”

  “I’m trying to understand. Really, I am.”

  He rolled his head in frustration.

  “Can’t you explain it to me, please?” she asked.

  She held perfectly still. Barely daring to hope for a second chance at happiness with the love of her life. Her heart slammed against her ribs. She wanted so much to touch him. To wrap her arms around him and tell him everything would be okay.

  “My secret is a dark one,” he said.

  “So is mine. But that’s old history. Can’t we leave it there and move on?” Her voice sounded choked. If he could find the courage to tell her about his past, then somehow she could do the same. Because she knew they could have no future together without disclosing everything and taking a leap of faith. A leap of trust.

  In each other and the Lord.

  He met her gaze, his eyes filled with deep, abiding anguish. When he spoke, his voice sounded strangled by grief. “Okay, you want to know the truth? Then here it is. I may not be able to father a child, Julie. The explosion that took my leg banged me up pretty bad. I was lucky I only lost my leg. I can deal with that. But the damage was worse. The doctors don’t know how bad it might be. I was engaged to be married. When my fiancée found out the truth, she dumped me. I... I’m just half a man, Julie. That’s all I’ll ever be. I’m not husband material. I can never marry you, and that’s it.”

  Her heart twisted in a vise of pain. “Oh, Dal. Don’t say that.”

  “It’s the truth. You wanted to know. So now you know.” His voice was an angry growl. He’d never spoken to her like this. So annoyed and angry. As though she were an irritating little girl who wouldn’t leave him alone.

  She tensed, wanting to feel insulted. Wanting to lash out at him in return. But then she thought about the burden he’d carried since he’d returned home from the war. The pain of losing his leg was bad enough. But to lose his fiancée and believe he might never be a father must have crushed him.

  “I’m so sorry. So very sorry for all you’ve lost,” she said.

  Scooting across the seat, she hugged him, resting her head against his chest. He didn’t respond, but she wouldn’t let go. Not now. Not ever.

  And in an aching whisper, she told him about her past. Everything. About her foster dad, her embarrassment, self-loathing and loss of trust.

  “So you see? Each of us has been deeply hurt. And yet, I can’t help believing that God can heal our wounds. We’ve got to let it go, Dal. Because I’m not leaving you ever again. Because I want to be with you for the rest of forever.”

  She felt the steady rhythm of his heartbeat against her cheek. She breathed in his spicy scent of aftershave and fabric softener. And in those quiet moments, the eyes of her understanding were opened. She knew deep in her heart that God had never abandoned her. Not once. Even during the dark years following her parents’ deaths, the Lord had been there for her. And somehow, once she was ready, God had led her back to Dal. A shimmering ray of su
nlight in a dark, cruel world.

  “You deserve better.” Strong emotion pinched Dal’s vocal cords.

  “We both deserve to be happy, Dal. And you make me incredibly happy.”

  She held him tighter. Fiercely. Afraid to let go. Ignoring the tears as they streamed down her cheeks.

  Finally, after all these years, she’d said the words out loud. The words she’d needed to say in order to cleanse her soul. In order to heal. And as Julie confided all her loss and hurt, Dal whispered a few heartening words against her hair.

  “Don’t cry. You’ll be okay,” he said.

  She felt so close to Dal and the Lord. For the first time in a long time, she no longer felt alone. If only Dal could accept what she was telling him. If only he could believe it, too.

  She cuddled closer in his embrace, but he didn’t hug her back.

  “You know, there are lots of ways for us to have kids,” she said. “Up until a few months ago, I thought I’d live my entire life alone. I thought I had accepted that. But being with you is more than I ever dared hope for. If we don’t have children, it’s not the end of the world, Dal.”

  His body went rigid against her. After a moment, he pushed her away. She felt the wall he’d erected between them go up like an iron plate.

  “You don’t mean that, Julie.”

  “Yes, I do.” She met his eyes, not blinking. Unwilling to let him go.

  He shook his head and licked his lips. “Maybe you do now, but years from now, you might feel differently. And then it’d be too late. I can’t hurt you that way. I won’t do it, Julie.”

  “Do you trust my commitment so little?” she asked.

  “No, it’s not that. I just don’t want to tie you to me when you could have something better.”

  “Don’t you think it’s my right to decide that for myself?” A feeling of desperation buzzed through her head. In spite of her admission, he hadn’t told her he loved her. He hadn’t said the words, or that he wanted to be with her again, either.